fit of honesty

It's time to get real:

Since finishing high school I have put on around 3 stone, that’s a minimum of 42lbs. That’s crazy. I wasn’t even at my goal when finishing high school. I put the 42lbs on over a very stressful two years of college where I had super hard subjects and no friends and it had a really bad impact on my mental wellbeing.
Around a year ago I made this blog to try to get myself into gear again and restart my health and fitness journey and to be completely honest, I’ve really failed, I went through a year of being healthy a couple days a week (if that) and then eating tonnes of junk food in between. In all honesty, if I didn’t have this blog I don’t think I’d have even done that, the follower count growing each day was my only motivation. I now weigh more than I have ever weighed in my entire life and have managed to look like a before picture. When I first started my fitness journey in high school, I lost 20lbs and was getting comfortable with my body, but now I’m even heavier than when I started this journey.
I’m telling you this and posting this here because this is going to be my ultimate motivation. I was motivated last time and this time I am even more motivated. I will stick to it. I will feel happier with my body, I will be healthy and become fitter. I won’t let people encourage me to eat food that does not fuel my body properly. Starting from today, because today is as good a day as any other, I’m going to restart my fitness journey, and I hope you’ll join me along the way.
It’s okay to fall off the bandwagon, that isn’t the important thing, the important thing is to pick yourself back up and climb back on.
I will try to keep updates on here so that I and others have a point of reference, this is where my next journey starts.

People on social media are so quick to drag a woman for getting plastic surgery, but won’t even drag the problem that caused her to get work done in the first place. People will literally bully women for not having breasts, not having ass, not having curves and not being slim thick, but have the nerve to look at a woman sideways for getting work done when they’re the ones who bullied her previous body 24/7. Men and other women will always uphold and praise being slim thick hourglass figure as a beauty standard and make the ones who don’t fit that standard insecure. Y'all honesty caused everything, but have the audacity to blame the problem solely on the woman like it’s her fault for wanting to be apart of y'alls beauty standard. Like? My gosh It’s not the ladies fault for thinking that having a big olé ass, a snatched ass waist and a big olé breasts to be beautiful. Y'all are the ones who forced that down women faces.🙄

LADIES! LIFT WEIGHTS!

SO many of my fellow females don’t want to lift. I think some of it is intimidation in the gym. Where do you start? How do you know what work outs to do? What if people see you’re doing something wrong? I still sometimes have those fears because there are a zillion ways to do most exercises and there are always assholes who think their way is the only way. You just have to trust your journey and make sure you understand at least some of the science behind how the body effectively moves. Do some research and hire a personal trainer OR watch videos online. Trial and error is how we all become fit.

The other reason women typically avoid weights is out of fear of getting too “manly.” We want to maintain our feminine physique. We want to get toned but not big. We want to run on the treadmill for 40 minutes and then do 10 quick bicep curls. How cute.

I want to break down why lifting weights is never bad for your womanhood because it’s important.

1. For every pound of fat you lose doing cardio, a portion of that pound comes from muscle. Obviously not the muscles you’re utilizing during your workout, but ALL the other ones.

2. When your body loses muscle mass it doesn’t need to expend as much energy in its day to day workings. The result? Your metabolism slows down. And you have a hard time losing more weight or keeping weight off.

3. It takes energy for your body to take care of itself when you’re working hard, especially when you’re utilizing muscle. If you lift some weights (doesn’t have to be heavy or insane!) and THEN do your cardio, not only are you burning calories during your cardio but your body will CONTINUE to burn calories after your workout while it repairs muscle fibers.

4. Good body composition comes from a healthy balance of endurance training, weight training, and Whole Foods. Unless you’re taking supplements with the intention of getting bulky you will not get bulky.

5. It’s okay to be tired sometimes. It’s okay to eat a treat sometimes. It’s okay to only lift weights some days or only do cardio on others. I have always been very big on “balance not sacrifice” because if your mind is getting exhausted your body will follow. Dont be too strict, but work your ass off when you can.

Do not be afraid to pick up something heavier than your water bottle. Your body will thank you and you will see better results!

anonymous asked:

I might be having surgery in the near future and we've all seen the anesthesia-induced coming out stories. So I wanna be ready for the possibility of accidentally coming out as ace. I need ace puns. If I'm coming out in a fit of drug-induced honesty, it might as well be funny. Ideas?

Oh I hope this answer isn’t too late!! If it is, I hope your surgery went well. Here’s some good ace puns:

It’s getting colder, better bundle up so you don’t turn into an ACEicle! 

What do you call it when an ace appreciates someone’s appearance? ACEthetic attraction

How many aces does it take to change a light bulb? None, because they’d rather not screw

What’s it called when two aces hug? An embrACE

I’m a member of the AVENgers

What does the introverted ace want the most? SolACE

Where does an ace live? a palACE

What does a sex repulsed ace do when faced with the idea of sex? grimACE

When aces hold hands they interlACE their fingers 

What did the aromantic asexual say when asked about their sexuality? Straight as an aro, ace

Why are aces good ninjas? They can leave without a trACE! 

I’ve got an ace up my sleeve… it’s me

I ace everything I do even when I fail it

-Sarah

sakicchi  asked:

if you're still taking requests, tanunatsu + 52? (if 65 could be worked in to it, that'd be amazing too... i was stuck between them-- i love me some angst in the morning) and aaa i adore your writing ♥ seeing it in the natsuyuu tag warms my heart every time!!

writing prompts
52: “i think i’m in love with you and that scares me half to death.”
+ 65: “look at me – just breathe, okay?”

x

Kaname isn’t usually desperately grateful that his father is away for work, but he is now, as someone bangs on the front door with what sounds like a personal vendetta against conventional sleeping hours. 

He yanks the door open, and stares. Natsume stares back at him, his arms curled protectively around an irritated Ponta, shivering in the bitter January night air without a jacket. 

“You just – opened the door?” Natsume says incredulously. “You didn’t even ask who I was. What if I had been a burglar?”

“You wouldn’t have knocked if you were a burglar,” Kaname says, incredulous himself as he reaches out to drag Natsume inside. “What are you thinking? It’s freezing out – you’re freezing! Get inside, come on.” 

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I feel like this has been discussed before somewhere

but I can’t get rid of the thought of ancient Greece!atomwave with Minotaur!Mick

perhaps the Minotaurs have always been exceedingly rare, or maybe Mick ran headfirst into some Olympus shenanigans as a boy (burned down a temple maybe, the god wasn’t impressed)

either way he was captured and put into the Labyrinth long ago, a stone structure with nothing that burns inside

and people have gotten into the habit of sending human sacrifices in the form of their best and brightest

who Mick doesn’t WANT to kill but his anger and frustration and rage at being attacked and captured manifest in the form of uncontrollable fire that ends up solving nothing except killing the sacrifices

until the year when the chosen sacrifice is Felicity. Whom Ray, a philosophy student and not much of a fighter, has loved since he was six years old. Of course he can’t let her die - so he volunteers to go in her stead.

Except he hasn’t been chosen as the worthiest of his generation for that decade’s sacrifice, so the elders forbid him from going. Ray is not going to sit around knowing Felicity’s fate, and he sneaks into the Labyrinth just an hour after the ritual of seeing the sacrifices off.

At first he wanders around, listening for any sounds of struggle or screams of fear, but it’s surprisingly uneventful for a few hours. Ray is beginning to fear that he has come too late, and that’s when he hears it.

The roar shakes the walls and makes Ray’s blood freeze in his veins, but he marches on towards it, despite the fact that he’s only armed with a long knife. He doesn’t know what the Minotaur will look like, or how big it will be, but he has to try to rid the island of the threat. He has to try to save Felicity, even though he’s almost sure she’ll never return his feelings.

The beast he finds is huge, filling the space of the tunnels even crouched down. It roars again, and Ray ducks behind the corner, just in time to avoid the burst of wild flames that slams down the corridor. Another roar, and that’s when Ray realizes the creature is not moving anywhere.

He chances a quick peek, which results in more angry howls and growls, and he sees a collapsed stone pillar and some rubble across the beast’s back.

Ray’s heart hammers in his chest as he thinks ‘this is it, I can kill it’. But the animal sounds turn from enraged to distressed and Ray just can’t. He’s never been a fan of violence, shying away even from the customary bull games, and killing even a loathsome murderous beast when it’s trapped and in pain doesn’t sound very heroic to Ray.

So, for the lack of anything better to do, Ray does the one thing he’s pretty good at.

He starts talking.

He tells the beast to calm down, and asks if it’s hurt, and how badly. He blurts out that he’s come to rescue his friend, and wonders out loud whether the creature has seen the girl in question. He even admits, in a fit of ill-advised honesty, that he planned to dispose of the threat, so that no more people would have to die - and did the Minotaur eat them, anyway? Because that would definitely not be enough sustenance for a creature this size.

The roars become growls and grumbles, and those turn into quiet, occasional huffs, until Ray is startled into silence by a quiet, rough voice.

“You should just kill me, kid. If you dare.”

And that just makes Ray’s heart clench, because first of all he didn’t really expect the beast to be more than… well, a dumb beast, but here it is talking, and self-aware enough to be in despair and wishing to die. What kind of a life did it have, able to speak and likely think but always alone in the dark?

Ray ends up asking all that and more, sitting safely behind the corner that protects him from the occasional burst of flame when he asks a particularly (in)sensitive question or makes a thoughtless comment. He doesn’t know how much time passes - it must be hours, but the beast starts responding, and it’s less and less with fire and more with actual words, however gruff and curt. It - he - is definitely able to think, even though he’s incredibly pessimistic about everything. Ray argues for the meaning of life and for the value of every creature, and it feels more real than any debate he’s ever had with the most famous philosophers of their age. The beast challenges his views and makes Ray work for every argument, and soon Ray is genuinely enjoying their debate, and hoping he can make the creature see some light.

He asks how long the Minotaur has been there (the beast doesn’t know) and whether he’s been lonely (an angry huff that makes Ray think ‘yes’).

“I can come back sometimes,” Ray offers tentatively, “so you’re not all alone, all the time. If you’d like, that is.”

There’s no response, for a long while, and Ray starts worrying that maybe he has underestimated the beast’s injuries.

But when he tentatively peeks around the corner, the Minotaur is staring at him with terrifyingly human eyes, looking more pensive than angry, and when Ray chances a small, tentative smile, the creature’s jaws reveal a set of huge teeth and maybe, just maybe, it could be considered a grin.

“Do whatever you like, Haircut.”

Ray thinks, for a second, and then decides: “If I come out there and try to help you, will you burn me? Or eat me?”

The Minotaur rolls his eyes. “I don’t fucking eat your stupid sacrifices.”

That startles Ray into shuffling out of his hiding spot, making sure to be slow and non-threatening as he approaches - even if the idea of such a huge beast feeling threatened by Ray is ridiculous. The Minotaur watches him come close, and he roars loudly when Ray is just a few feet away. Ray jumps back, heart jackrabbiting in his chest as he braces for the feeling of his body being charred to the bone - but the Minotaur starts huffing quietly and it takes Ray a few seconds to a) start breathing again, and b) to realize the creature is actually laughing.

“That wasn’t nice,” Ray sighs and leans against the corridor’s charred wall, letting himself slide down to sit right next to the Minotaur’s furry, horned head.

“I’m not nice,” the beast grumbles, and Ray shrugs.

“Yeah, you kind of are,” Ray mumbles, and when the creature gives him a pointed stare, he chuckles: “When one gets past the whole killing and burning thing, you know. But you haven’t killed me yet so I count that as a point towards 'nice’.”

The beast gives him a long look. “You must be pretty lonely to go making friends here, Haircut.”

Ray can’t hold the beast’s gaze for more than a few seconds before it starts making him feel all weird and tingly. He pushes himself up from the ground and takes a step towards the Minotaur to see if he can help move the rubble that is trapping the beast-

-and then he twists around as yells erupt in the corridor and people with swords, Felicity and the other sacrifice, a bulky nobleman warrior, come charging from around the corner, screaming at Ray to step out of the way.

Indigo Flowers

Fire Emblem: Fates

Pairing: Xander/Inigo

Description: After a tough mission, Xander is feeling down and Laslow tries to cheer him up with mixed results.

another fic for @brynhild-r, who introduced me to this under appreciated pairing

AO3

—–

A tentative knock at the door brought Xander from the hellscape of his thoughts. He wasn’t sure how long he could continue to follow King Garon’s orders, especially when they meant murdering innocent women and children for suspected treason. Their final expressions of terror were imprinted on the back of his eyelids and no matter what he tried to do they refused to leave.

“Come in,” he said, head in his hands.

“Milord, you haven’t left your quarters in six hours, I thought I’d check up on you,” Laslow said.

Xander looked up and saw the young man smiling at him, concern hidden beneath his familiar grin.

“Thank you for your concern Laslow, but I’m fine,” Xander replied, as much as he enjoyed the company of his flirtatious retainer, he was not in the mood for a friendly chat.

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anonymous asked:

do you ship dettlaff and Regis or more regis and geralt?

Hmm nngh couldn’t you have asked anything easier, buddy???

The thing is, I kinda ship Dettlaff and Regis differently than I ship Geralt and Regis. I’m not sure how to explain it, but I’m gonna give it a try. Are you ready to read a fucking novel? Because I have a lot of thoughts about this topic.

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Luxory Play Thing’s Guide To: Fitting a Chastity Belt

Many followers have reached out for help recently so I figured it was high time for me to make a guide. 

Lots of boys have sent me pics of them rock hard and asked what device would be best for them- and don’t get me wrong, I love pics of rock hard dicks, but this information is as useful as vibrator without a power source.

When measuring to get the best fit, honesty is the best policy: ask yourself, “Could someone pick my limp dick out of a lineup of prepubescent boys?” If the answer is no, you probably don’t need to waste your time looking at the Bird Cage. If your flaccid size could beat out most men’s members standing at full attention… you probably still don’t need a cage that big, but it’s less tragic if you end up in one.

Length: It’s almost impossible to measure. Just whipping it out to measure get’s the little guy’s blood flowing, so you’re going to be hard pressed to get a good measurement. It’s very difficult to undershoot this one, and I see many more dicks in cages too big for them than cages to small. Some of this is because small devices only recently entered the market at the lower price range, so people interested in the kink earlier had a hard time getting a cage small enough without going custom. According to the manufacturer of my cage, the length is 1.75 inches. Assembled, it’s about 2.5 inches, and this seems to be just right for me, yet when I try to measure myself I often hit 3-4 inches. Based on this, I would say take your measurement and cut it in half, unless you’re good about measuring yourself in the cold, away from any excitement, and manage to completely stifle your subconscious desire to show off to yourself.

Width: Measuring width is easier than length, but still challenging. However, a cage that is too wide is not as big a problem as a cage that is too long- it’s not a goal, but it’s a smaller inconvenience. A cage that is too narrow on the other hand is one of the worst experiences you can have- worse than a cage that is too long. If a cage is too narrow, erections tend to push the cage away from the body and do not even fill the tube. This is a recipe for pullout, pain, and ball irritation. I find this is a bigger problem with closed devices, especially plastic ones which grip the skin more than smooth metal. To measure, you’ll nee to measure your erect length. This is the ideal width of a device that is completely and utterly enclosed. If you prefer a cage with bars, as most boys do, you need to keep in mind that your penis will push through the bars, so you’ll want a smaller diameter cage to make up for that.

Length to width ratio: This isn’t something I have seen discussed much but I think it needs to be out there: you want your cage slightly sorter than your flaccid length and as wide as your erect penis, or at slightly wider than your flaccid width. This is because you do not want to have any room to grow out, but you do not want to force that tissue and skin out behind the base ring but rather pack it in on the sides of the cage. 

Base ring gap: This is a nuance I did not understand until I went through several cages. Balls may not grow with excitement likes penises do, but you can’t exactly get in there and measure them either. This gap needs to be big enough for your veins and tubes and ligaments to function normally yet small enough that your balls cannot slip through it. Of course, smaller base rings will help with this too, but you can only go so small comfortably. On my favorite cage, to base ring gap is a hair over a half inch. Although I have done some ball stretching, I am still pretty high and tight in that regard. I know Mature Metal’s default is 3/8th, and that works for most people. If the gap is too small, you can always do some ball stretching, but the gap is only something you can determine with custom cages- in fact, most sellers on DHgate or eBay do not even call out the base gap specification. I have never found a gap too small, but I can say that too big leads to balls slipping out in the middle of the night or even the day and unlocking is a must if that happens. 

Base ring size: If you’re a shower, you’ll eventually find our right size here. If you’re a grower, there is no good answer. A base ring that is small enough to stay snug up next to your body will likely hurt when you’re erect, and a cage fitted with a ring that is comfortable when you’re hard will likely fall off when you’re soft. If you’re buying your first cage, suggest just going with the 45mm base ring and you’ll quickly learn your lesson.

Purchasing: To find your first cage, try to find one that matches all your measurements as closely as possible and find a cage you find aesthetically pleasing- one you will want to wear. It won’t be perfect- only custom ones are- but it will get you started in the chastity world. At the time of this writing, I see no reason to spend more than ~$35 on a mass production device. My top tip is this: learn as much as you can from your first few cages and start saving up for custom. 10 cheap cages are not as good as 1 that fits perfectly, and the two options cost the same.

KBTBB Relationship Fluff Headcanons

a/n: Because we all need a little more fluff in our lives. Lots of fandoms have these headcanons, so why not KBTBB? Oh, this is assuming that the bidders are in a relationship with the MC.

Eisuke:

  • He’s not very touchy-feely, but if he ever feels jealous or threatened, he’d suddenly be all over her proximity, with his hand on her waist, not-so-subtly showing the interloper just who she belongs to.
  • He finds it cute that she apologizes a lot, but he would rather hear her say “thank you” than “I’m sorry”.
  • He would never ever let her pay for anything, be it a date or a present.
  • He finds it too troublesome to tell her that he loves her since he assumes his actions are enough proof of his feelings for her. However, he finds himself saying it more often lately, probably because he knows it’s a real turn-on for her…
  • He’s very prone to acting territorial and possessive, not because of insecurity, but because he needs assurance that she won’t ever leave him because he’d never leave her.
  • Eisuke almost never cries, but when he does, she’s the only person he’d ever allow to see him in that state.
  • He often wakes up before she does, so he can silently tell her his true feelings while stroking her hair; he’d never do that if she were awake.
  • He likes eating her homemade cooking, but he still wouldn’t eat green peas even if she cooked them for him. Haha, you picky dork.
  • He has a bad habit of not explaining the reasons behind his actions, so he comes off as an asshole 90% of the time. Seeing how much she hates it, he’d secretly try to get rid of this habit.
  • He’s not good at comforting others, but if he ever sees her sad, he’d go to extreme lengths to cheer her up (an impromptu dinner at another country, a designer-brand shopping spree, a helicopter ride across the Tokyo skyline— you name it, he’ll do it). He’d also hunt down the bastard who made her sad and make him pay.

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If you befriend...
  • Aries: You receive, unexpected jogging, laughing until your stomach hurts, shared lunches, the very best hugs, passion.
  • Taurus: You receive, homemade brownies, really genuine smiles, listening ears, video game playing, patience.
  • Gemini: You receive, free car rides, small talk, many books, mix CDs, giggle fits, open honesty, party invites.
  • Cancer: You receive, lots of hugs, maybe even kisses, borrowed jackets, kindness, hot chocolate movie nights.
  • Leo: You receive, style advice, life advice, friendship bracelets, free Starbucks, late night phone calls, joy.
  • Virgo: You receive, loyalty, someone whose never late, inside jokes, wonderful listening, wisdom, intelligence.
  • Libra: You receive, morning hikes, style help, charisma, lots of laughter, adventures, solid friendship, goofy faces.
  • Scorpio: You receive, love, reassuring stares, lots of cheering on, generosity, concerts, sleepless nights.
  • Sagittarius: You receive, sporadic trips, random coffee dates, the best sleepovers, start gazing, really great jokes.
  • Capricorn: You receive, bagels and coffee, classy outings, really meaningful conversations, a new taste in music, talent.
  • Aquarius: You receive, random gifts, so many jokes, the best nights out, optimism, honesty, ambition, lots of trust.
  • Pisces: You receive, imagination, cloud gazing, ideas, lots of small conversation about silly things, very sweet gazes, many meaningful hugs.

anonymous asked:

So I've written a scene and liked how it ended. However I can't write the next one, like none of the words I try ro write seem to fit

In all honesty, this happens to me any time I complete a chapter or scene in just about anything. There isn’t any surefire way I’ve found that fixes it, but I can offer tips based on how I usually deal with it.

1) Take some time before going back. I end up having to get to the next scene another day, nearly every time. It gives my brain time to relax and approach it again with a fresh perspective. Sometimes, that’s all it takes.

2) Make a note to introduce it again later. Skip to the part in the next scene that you do know how to write. You don’t have to write in chronological order. As long as you remember to go back later and fill things in, no one will be any the wise and you didn’t get stopped up in your writing.

3) Read the ending aloud to yourself. This is the thing that often helps me the most. You can hear the tone and the pace and feel the mood of where you left off, and it can sort of jump start your brain into thinking about what comes next. It may seem a bit embarrassing, but it’s effective!

5

love and kickin’ by camiii

Pairing: Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson

Rating: explicit

Chapters: 3/3

Summary:

When Nick looks up in direction of the pitch he nearly chokes on his mouthful of coffee.

The Arsenal player standing behind the sideline, ball in his hands and number 28 splayed across his back, is fit. Really fit.

In all honesty Nick can only see him from behind, but the first thing he notices is a quite spectacular bum and nicely muscled thighs and, well, football might have its redeeming aspects after all.

Or the fic where Nick has no interest in football but is dragged to a football match, Louis is the Arsenal player that catches his attention, and maybe there are some redeeming qualities to the game after all.

come with me - part 1 (Lafayette/reader)

length: 1,506 words

au: Hamiltime

tw: none

a/n: reader is female in this fic (a rarity for my genderneutral ass pff).  this is part one of two, the second part containing optional smut!  i think i’ll upload part two later tonight or tomorrow <3  

part two

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AS A GENTLEMAN DOM WHO HAS A LONG HISTORY OF SHARING HIS SUB/SLUTWIFE/GIRLFRIEND WITH OTHER MEN, HERE’S MY RULES FOR VETTING PLAYMATES, SO YOUR LOVER REMAINS SAFE, AND YOUR ADVENTURES REMAIN FUN

More adventures than I can count, and the worst experience ever, was telling a playmate he was too inebriated to play that night. I don’t mind if those of you in the same position use this, or modify to fit you best, as it’s important to know:

-1 Your PRIMARY responsibility to your Slutwife is insuring her safety;

-2 If her safety isn’t insured, she will never be able to let herself go;

-3 If she cannot let go, she will never achieve ultimate pleasure.

Let’s be brutally honest from the start: When you’re looking for exceptional (sexual) play partners for your partner or slutwife; you’re looking for some adventurous sex. That being said, let’s define our given rolls: I’m the Gentleman Master; my partner is a submissive Slutwife. In a vanilla relationship, I might find my wife a dildo (or several), to spice up our passions. In this case, YOU are the dildo … with a pulse. If you accept that roll, understand that when a dildo goes bad, it’s replaced very easily; but if it’s reliable and effective, it’s used fairly often.
     I do not participate sexually in her adventures, but I’m always nearby to insure her comfort and safety. She has no other duties, than to relax and enjoy everything that you and I agree on. You’re only being asked to bring your A game, and give her all the pleasure she can handle. If you have questions or comments, talk to me directly.
     It’s good to know that better than 90% of the men we interview are rejected, so if we don’t call you back, it’s been for one or more of these reasons: Lack of class; intelligence; grooming; fitness; humor; or honesty.

THE BIG D’S: In addition, I have non-negotiable rules you must read and agree to. This is not a legal contract, but it is an agreement between consenting adults, so our interaction is strictly pleasurable, devoid of unseen negative surprises.

1. BE DISCRETE - This is private play, not a subject for discussion outside of the three of us. If we happen to bump into one another in public, say hello, and move on. If questioned, you don’t remember our names or where you met us. We will extend the same courtesy to you.

2. NO DRUNKS - After you arrive at our play site, you can have a drink or 2 to get loose, but if you choose to get drunk, you won’t be playing with my Slutwife.

3. NO DRUGS - Smoke your pot somewhere else, or take Viagra on the way over if you need to, but don’t bring anything illegal into our play site. We’re not prudes, but we don’t EVER want to give cops a reason to visit us.

4. NO DECEPTIONS - Just tell the truth!! We’re not going to lie to you, so don’t lie to us. Liars simply can’t be trusted, so if you’re married or have a girlfriend, please understand that we don’t care, as long as your significant other doesn’t show up at our play site uninvited. Just tell the truth about anything you say, and be a man of your word. If you say you will be there at a certain time - be there or call.

5. NO DRAMA - Leave all your stresses and their related stories at home or the office. When you’re with us, have fun, laugh and fuck as much as you can … period. Also, if we run a background check on you and felony convictions or child molesting come up, we don’t need that kind of drama either. Finally, this is all about fun sex, so if you develop romantic feelings for my Slutwife, that’s a drama we will eliminate quickly.

6. NO DIRT - For fucks’ sake!!! Take a shower right before you come over! Who wants to play with a stinky partner? Further, if you don’t realize that cigarettes, cigars, onions and spicy foods make you cum (and your sweat) taste horrible, let me educate you: One of the sexiest things a woman can say is, “I LOVE the taste of your cum!” If you want my Slutwife, or any sane woman for that matter to crave a mouthful of your cum, clean up and pay attention to your diet.

7. NO DISEASES - If you have a bump, go get it checked. If you have a known STD (sexually transmitted disease) and you choose to play anyway, I will have you charged with assault.

8. NO DINKY DICKS - Don’t tell us you are packing 10" and show up with 6. We’re looking for nothing less than 8 ½ inches, with endurance. If you don’t measure up, it would be better to stay home.

9. NO DISRESPECT - Of me, my Slutwife or others! It ruins the night for everyone, and guarantees you aren’t coming back. Let me be clear about one thing here … this is all about creating pleasure for my Slutwife, so make her your whore and talk as nasty as you want DURING sex, but outside of the bedroom, she is my beautiful, classy partner.

10. NOT DOMINANT - IF you’re pretending to be dominant, we’ll see it immediately. My Slutwife gets all the romantic sex she wants with me. The point of these adventures, is raw animal sex. Rough and forceful, without causing harm.

IN SUMMARY - If you’re arrogant at all, stay away. If you’re too thick to agree with each and every one of these rules, you’re too stupid to appreciate the gravity of this amazing opportunity.

It's time for some straight-forward, I'm-terrified-to-post-this, I've-been-avoiding-this-post-for-over-a-year honesty.

As I write this, I’m scared shitless. I’m sitting in a Chick-fil-a between patient visits, eating my healthy lunch, and I know it’s time. I’ve been putting this off for well over a year, and I can’t keep hiding. So, here goes… I lost weight. I lost A LOT of weight. Over 60 lbs; about 1/3 my beginning body weight. And I was a weight loss rockstar while I did it. I steadily lost over about 2 years, never gaining more than a pound back (only plateauing for periods of time). I transformed my lifestyle. I was “that healthy girl” who ate my packed lunch during free work meals, said no to brownies passed around at meetings, and kept myself in check without much help from the outside world. I blogged and blogged and blogged, and I built up this site to over 3000 followers. I absolutely crushed it. I was someone, in my mind, worthy of inspiring. I helped others by giving advice and support. I was everything I imagined I would be on this journey. And then, I just stopped. There wasn’t one reason. There were many. I moved to a new state, over 6 hours from everyone I knew and loved. I went through a pretty dramatic breakup with the person I had moved with. I had lost control of my independence and control. So I reverted, and I ate. And ate and ate. And said “forget it” to the steady routine and healthy relationship with exercise I had finally developed. And I gained. And gained and gained. The first 30 lbs I packed on, I honestly didn’t notice. Then I had a handful of failed attempts at losing again. Then I gave up again. The next 20, I didn’t notice either. Over about a year, I put back on 50 lbs, almost my entire original weight loss. It was easy to deny and hide, because I gained the weight quite well, so no one really understood just how far I had fallen. I wanted to confess on here along the way. I wanted to reach out and beg for help as I spiraled downward. I knew I’d find the help and guidance I needed. But I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t admit failure. I couldn’t share with the world how bad it had gotten. I couldn’t look at this blog, which captures all my success, and mark it (in my mind) with all my current failure. So I hid. And it got worse and worse. I’m done hiding. I’m here. I need support and community. I am ready to change. I have joined Weight Watchers at work. I have started tracking again. I have all the exercise equipment and DVDs I need at home. I have a loving and supportive partner. And I have my own strength. My strength in which I can finally say, “I may have fallen, but I am not a failure.” I realize that my weight or my gaining doesn’t define me. I have the tools I need. I will do this again. And I will not only succeed this time, but sustain too. Because I’m not afraid or ashamed anymore. I am a strong woman; I am an inspiration. I can and I will do this. And I will share it all as I do. Thank you all for being here, and I would love to hear from you (commenting on this or posting in my ask) about your roller coaster journeys and fears you’re afraid to tell. I’m here for you too! <3