fit of giggles

Pay Attention To Me - Jeff Atkins x Reader

Request - “Can you a jeff imagine where you’re doing something on your phone, and Jeff is being a baby like wanting your attention…”

A/N: This is adorable of course I want to write it!

You were currently refreshing your emails, waiting to see if the job you applied for had gotten back to you. Intermittently, you would check your various social medias to take your mind off it.

“Y/Nnnnnn…” your boyfriend Jeff whined, dragging out your name.

“I’m a little busy Jeff.” You brushed him off. You heard him sigh and slump into his chair.

About five minutes later, he said your name again, this time with a little more frustration.

“Jeff! Seriously this is important and I need to take my mind off it!”

“Pay attention to me, then.”

You sighed exasperatedly at him, ignoring him once more.

“Fine, if that’s how you wanna play…” he muttered under his breath so that you couldn’t hear it. Just then, you felt a moist sensation on your cheek. Jeff Atkins had decided to fucking lick your face. You gave him the side eye.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” You acted miffed, but really you weren’t. He chuckled and gave another small lick. You had been determined to not be phased by this, but to no avail. So, you moved over to the other sofa in the room.

Refreshing again, you sighed in frustration that it had still not yet arrived.

“Stop thinking about it, Y/N. It’ll come, you just need to distract yourself.” Jeff comforted from the other sofa.

“Not now Jeff…” you brushed him off yet again.

There were a few moments of absolute silence while you sat and stared at your phone.

Then, suddenly, you felt a large weight on top of you. Jeff had jumped on you and was enveloping you in a huge bear hug. You struggled, but there wasn’t really much in it.

“Jeeffff…” you whined lacklusterly. He gripped his arms around you tightly, lifting you slightly so that you were on your back, he then proceeded to lick the lip of your nose and chuckle.

“You. Look. So. Cute. When. You. Pretend. To. Be. Mad.” Each word was interrupted by a peck somewhere on your face. You tried pulling your phone out behind Jeff, but he felt the movement and knocked it out of your hand.

“Uh-uh. You want this distraction, you told me yourself.” He grinned, pecking your cheek. “I love you.” He whispered close to your face, before kissing each eye, then your nose, then your mouth. You couldn’t hold it in anymore - and let out a loud cackle as you squirmed underneath him.

“J-eff!” This time there was no force in your speech as it made itself out through the laughter. “You’ve made my face all wet!”

“I can make other parts of you wet, too.” He winked comically.

“Oh my god Jeff! Shut up!” You were now laughing so hard that your stomach hurt, and its movement was moving Jeff above you. You hit him in the chest lightly before realising your movement was so severe that you were by the edge of the sofa, so you grabbed onto his shoulders. Unsurprisingly, you proceeded to accidentally roll off the sofa, pulling your boyfriend with you.

Now the two of you were on the floor, In fits of laughter, hitting, and kissing, and rolling about with one another.

After calming down a little, you ended up on top of Jeff. Getting your face close to his, you whispered; “I love you, too.”

“You’re not mad at me anymore then?” He played with your hair, smiling.

“I never was, dummy. Only slightly.” You rolled your eyes playfully. “I have to say, you do make a good distraction.”

He pushed his lips together, before blowing through them and making them slap together like a horse, which just ended up with you and him in fits of giggles, once again.

Picking Daisies, Picking People

Pairing: Daniel Howell & AmazingPhil (Phan)

Genre: Fluff, Pastel!Dan/Punk!Phil

Word Count: 1100

Summary: Dan has an obsessions with flowers. Phil can’t understand it. And so, Dan plans to explain in only the best way possible. 

Author Note: Shoutout to @pantsudan for the incredibly sweet prompt

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In 1996 the “Macarena” was all the rage, and one of JonBenet Ramsey’s favorite songs. After learning the dance during camp, she was determined to teach it to all of her family and friends. Her most favorite person to teach, or at least try to teach, was her dad, John Ramsey. It would take some convincing, but in the end John would always give up. Each time JonBenet fall into a fit of giggles as she watched uncoordinated father struggle through the moves.

2

What’s your favorite scene so far this season? There’s a scene in this episode where Connor and Oliver are just laying in bed. I love that—because they’re not back together or are they?—they don’t even know. There’s something really intimate about laying in bed talking to someone, and they’re not even touching. They’re just going through their day, and Oliver has this little mini giggle fit. That’s my favorite scene, I think, out of the whole season because it feels so real. In the middle of all of this stuff that’s going on, there’s always a sweetness between them, I really think, that kind of permeates through the show in a really cool way. – Conrad Ricamora

Humans are weird

Horoscopes

Commander’s entry

“The human contingent has successfully adapted to life on the ship, and many of my crew has expressed interest in learning about our new passengers. While others have noticed things about the human behavior such as domestication, animal life, and the unexpected harshness of these aliens, I have found myself intrigued by what I have come to learn as Zodiac signs, and the horoscope.

“It started when human Jessica received her weekly update through the scanners, and stated that according to her horoscope, she would have a good week. The other humans were interested, and so read what I was to learn was their horoscope. Human Brad, however, stated that he did not believe in the horoscope, and human Jessica stated that it was because he was an Aries, which caused human Brad to leave the room.

“I had already decided that human Brad was not a human whose company I enjoyed, and I am interested in learning about these horoscopes, so I can keep human Brad from interacting with me as much as possible.”

Commander’s entry

“After asking human Jessica to explain these horoscopes to me, she told me that the horoscopes were depicted according to the star positions, and the individual’s zodiac sign, which was determined by the date of birth. Considering that we, Zorlocks, have a different measure of time then the humans, I did not have a zodiac sign, however, human Jessica informed me that I must be a Taurus.”

Commander’s entry

“After landing on the planet Vorlash to pursue negotiations with the two-headed race known as the Akas, one head with eyes and ears, the other head with a mouth and noses, human Jessica erupted into what I believe was ‘a fit of giggles.’ When I asked her to explain, she said, ‘a planet full of Gemini’s.’ I expressed my confusion, and she explained that a person with the Gemini Zodiac sign were largely believed to be two-faced.’ I must admit to the humor now saw in her statement.”

Commander’s entry

“The negotiations with the Akas were going slow, and I was considering attempting to secure a negotiations with a more direct and forceful manner, human Jessica said that, according to my horoscope, which I now read regularly out of sheer curiosity, I must display patience to achieve happiness. I have decided to wait a few more days before demanding an answer from the Akas.”

Commander’s entry

“The Akas have agreed to open a trade agreement. I am now in belief that, although no scientific evidence supports the horoscope, it is possible that there is more to it than simple human superstition. “

Commander’s entry

“My first mate, Lokah, have began to suspect that my interest in the horoscope is no longer a passing interest with the intention of learning more about the human way of life. Lokah has asked that I desist in my weekly reading of my horoscope.

I can’t believe my first mate is an Aries.”

Braids

Originally posted by ohbabyyeah

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this! It’s the longest I’ve written on this blog and I’d really appreciate the feedback here  – I’m most likely doing a Part 2 depending on how you all like it. Enjoy :)

Harry loved family reunions.

Amongst the bickering cousins and lurid pitter-patter of children, he often found himself feeling at peace as his folks filled him in on all the stories he’s missed out on. He’d laugh about his jittery uncle who nearly burnt his eyebrows off from an old barbecue, nodding approvingly as his aunt gushes about her eight year old who’s just won the flashy new title of spelling bee champion. He likes the way they treat him too. With adoration in their eyes, resurrecting from the years they’ve watched him as a young boy (instead of the usual gaze of stardom he’s used to). He almost, if not, especially enjoys the way they admire his success, not as an ego-booster, but as a way of praising Anne for his upbringing, despite the major gossip that briefly tainted his mother’s name around her first divorce.

But even in a house packed with his most favourite people, he would always feel relatively exhausted from the length of the reunion, a full four days he’d reckoned. It was unfair really, he loved his crazy family, but he always felt like he had to put on his best face, never getting his usual dose of solitude to rejuvenate.

So when Harry first invited you to join him, he hadn’t quite expected you to be so patient with his family.

“Yes, he is very handsome,” you’d chuckle, “but we’re only friends.”

“You’re sweet, love, but I think this little girl wins the beauty contest, hmm?”

“Right, he is very good with kids.”

“M’only in uni, ma’am, so I’ve got a few good years before settling down.”

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BTS Reactions To You Grabbing Their Crotch

♡Namjoon♡:

It happened so quickly that you had barely any time to react. After waking up late, you were in a rush to get ready. In your rush to meet Namjoon you had completely forgotten to tie your shoelaces. Of course, being who you are, you didn’t notice until it was far too late. In fact, you were surprised it didn’t happen sooner.

You were just rearing the corner of the cafe you agreed to meet at when you saw him. He gave you a cheeky smile and waved, as his eyes laid on your approaching figure. Your heart fluttered at the sight and you couldn’t help it as you picked up the pace towards him.

It wasn’t until you were only a few footsteps away that you felt your shoes get caught on the lace. Within seconds you began to flail around in the air as your body collapsed against the rough concrete. You let out a hiss of pain, already being able to tell that you had scraped both your palms and knees. It didn’t take long for Namjoon to reach your side.

“Oh my God. Jagiya are you okay?” He asked, his voice laced slightly with laughter. You narrowed your eyes towards the floor and silently cursed at him for finding your pain amusing.

“Here,” you heard him say. You assumed he was holding a hand out for you.

Slightly embarassed, you didn’t look up as you reached your hand towards the sky. The second your hand made contact with something you automatically grasped onto it. Namjoon let out a sudden gasp in surprise.

Your eyes widened as you began to register the fabric of his jeans and more importantly what your hand had just latched onto. You instantly pulled your hand away and tried to ignore what had just happened. Your cheeks were flushed as you looked up at Namjoon only to find him already looking at you. Instead of addressing what had just occurred, the second you made eye contact you both burst out into a fit of giggles. Your laughter only increased in sound as you saw the sight in front of you.

“Namjoon are you fucking kidding me? Are you seriously getting hard from just that?”

He shamelessly shot you a smile, “that’s just the affect you have on me babe.” He shrugged as if it couldn’t be helped.

Originally posted by rapfluff

~

| Seokjin | Yoongi | Hoseok | Namjoon | Jimin | Taehyung | Jungkook |

~

I hope you guys like it<3 I’ll be releasing them in the order I write them in!

~Admin Coffee

perspective

this is for @ivory-leigh with special thanks to @onemuseleft for her help with the idea

i super didn’t mean to write this tonight but the idea was SO GOOD and i’ve really been jonesing to write

In the weeks following what they’re calling The Battle of New York, Bruce settles into the Tower with an incredible ease.

The floor Tony designed for him is shockingly well-suited to his tastes and needs considering how Tony likes to claim he’s not a team-player. Bruce suspects each floor is equally well-designed and perhaps that’s why they’re all able to slip into a routine so quickly.

It feels like something missing has slotted into place and Bruce can tell just by looking at the others’ faintly bewildered expressions when they look around at the space they share that they feel the same.

Still, Bruce never looks toward Harlem.

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Halloween

Summary: Nat and Wanda trick you into going to a Halloween party at the Stark Tower.

Warnings: smut- oral (receiving), penetration; fluff

A/N: Wrote this to get out of my writer’s block. I hope you like it!


“Fuck!” Nat yanked the strings tighter and you gasped for air. “I know I wanted to wear a corset for Halloween but-”

“Authentication is the key.” She helped you straighten. “And look at how great your breasts look.” 

“They do look pretty great.” You admired yourself in the mirror, running your hands down your torso and enjoying the feeling of the leather under your fingertips. “So…are you finally going to tell me who’s going to be at this party?”

“Nope, it’s a secret.” Nat chuckled as she adjusted her hair and makeup. “Don’t worry, you’re going to have fun.”

“You’re in for some serious hell if you’re lying to me.” You pointed at her and slipped into your leggings. “Why do I have to be a sexy cat? Why can’t I be like Victorian royalty?” 

“Because last time you were drunk you let it slip that you’ve always wanted to dress up as one.” Wanda slipped into the room grinning. “I told Nat and she helped me get the costume, now let’s go.” 

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Little Girl

Chris Evans x reader

Notes: dominant, jealous, possessive Chris; but also puppy-dog Chris, smut, fluff. (I just felt like doing this)

Summary: something short about Chris being jealous for no reason and letting you know who your daddy is. 

Originally posted by ncoleys

You knew something was off the moment Chris walked up the few steps into the trailer, and slammed the door shut before locking it behind him. You were used to him sneaking in a private moment with you in between filming, but he always just closed the door quietly and never locked it, or made a show out of it for that matter. Now, he came stalking up to you, making you drop the items of clothing you were about to put back on a rack after steaming them, and just stare.

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Monkey

Once upon a time, my dear friend Palak @stylishmuser had a dream. She told me that dream and then, within the same day, this video happened. I’m here to put that dream into words. Please enjoy.

Also, @stylesunchained…I dared. I’m sorry.

————————————————————————————————

Harry was waiting patiently for someone on the other end of the phone to answer his call. He had called exactly when he always did; 6:30 on the dot in London, which was half an hour before his daughter went to bed. The nightly ritual had been the same for the past two weeks; he would call before bedtime, talk to his little girl as soon as she had her pajamas on, say goodnight before you tucked her in, and then call back after she was asleep and talk to you until his eyes started to droop. It wasn’t ideal - he would have much rather been home with the two of you - but it was better than nothing.

The familiar and sweet sound of your voice finally echoed in his ears and he saw your face pop up on the tiny screen.

“Hey you,” you smiled, “How are you?”

“Tired,” he replied, rubbing at his eyes a bit to keep them focused, “Lots of meetings and interviews today. Is she still up?”

“Of course. I’ve just had her run and brush her teeth; she should be out soon, she knows what time it is.”

Another few minutes went by as you and Harry talked about what had been going on, but you knew Harry was getting antsy to talk to someone else. As much as he loved conversations with you, he only had a limited time with his daughter before she fell asleep.

“(Y/D/N)!” you called, turning your head, “Daddy’s on the phone and he’s waiting for you!”

It was only a few seconds before the thumping of tiny feet could be heard running down the hallway. A moment later, Harry saw the wild hair of his three-year-old appear in frame and he chuckled.

“Hi, monkey,” he said, waving.

“Hi daddy!”

“I miss you. How are you?”

“I’m good. I went to Nana’s today and Auntie Gem was there!”

Harry grinned. “Was she? That sounds like fun. Did she let you play salon with her hair again?”

His daughter nodded, excitedly. That was one thing Harry was so thankful for; a sister who didn’t care if her niece wanted to poke, prod, braid or twist her hair within an inch of its life. Gemma was always game for a little ‘toddler spa day’.

“Daddy, guess how many more days!!”

“Hmm,” Harry thought, “I don’t know. Tell me.”

She held up both hands, folding two fingers down.

“Only this many! An’ then you’ll be home, daddy!”

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7 Minutes || Jughead Jones

Originally posted by juptern

word count : 1,225

pairing : Jughead Jones x Reader

warnings : make-outs, cursing, hating each other.

summary : You are friend with Betty and Veronica and they invited you to this party so of course you say yes. you didn’t know you’d end up playing seven minutes in heaven and be stuck in there with someone you hate; Jughead Jones.


     Betty and you had been best friends since you were babies. You were lucky enough to occupy the house right next to hers so you spent countless hours with each other growing up. When Veronica came to Riverdale, the two of you welcomed her with open arms. Of course when Veronica and Betty were fighting you took a neutral stance, or as neutral as you possibly could. You were happy to know when they made up, at least for the most part. Veronica was even throwing some party to finalize it; which is a bit weird but you were just going with it; who could say no to a good party?

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gospel around his fingers

Dex slams the door shut and presses against the wood, leaning his head back and sucking in a deep breath. He stares blindly up at the ceiling and–


“Nurse, I dare you to kiss the prettiest person in the room. Not counting me.” Lardo pretends to flip a lock of hair over her shoulder. “We all know I’d smoke you bitches,” she adds, grinning. Her teeth flash in the low lighting, and she knocks back the last of her drink as the gather group lets out joking boos.

They all “ooh” at Nursey as he raises a challenging eyebrow and smirks at Lardo. He makes a show of looking around the room, leering slightly at the other players of spin the bottle – Holster, Dex, Tango, Ollie, Wicks, and a few members of the volleyball and soccer teams. Bitty is grinning from his spot on the floor next to Lardo and Dex, watching as Nursey catches the eye of each person.


“Dex!” The memory is abruptly interrupted as Chowder’s voice comes from beyond the door. “Come on, man!” Dex tries to straighten up, but his legs refuse to work. He sinks down to the floor, back still pressed against the door, trying to suck in deep breaths of air. He drops his head between his knees, squeezing his eyes shut and–

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BTS Reaction to You Not Liking When They Get Jealous

Incognito; Hi, can you do a bts reaction to gf not liking it if they get possessive of her or jealous without a reason, thanks 💕

Note: De nada love ((: Btw, new oneshot in a bit, so look out for that! (Requests for reactions are open!) *credit to gif owners*


Jin ➳ There he was, glaring at Yoongi’s hand in disgust as it laid on your shoulder delicately. Nobody noticed the atmosphere change, but you, and when time passed and you noticed his glare wouldn’t budge; your eyebrow twitched. “You don’t have to do that, you know.” Everyone soon trailed their eyes to you, and Seokjin raised his eyebrow in astonishment; knowing he was getting jealous over something so innocent but he just couldn’t help it. He wasn’t dumb enough to question you, and when Yoongi’s hand went to smack Hoseok and off you—his dark mood instantly vanished.

Originally posted by apgujeon


Suga ➳ “It would be nice if you could step a few feet away from her.” Jimin’s mouth fell open from Yoongi’s sudden straightforwardness, and your eyes widened before you sent Yoongi a growl. He was never one to voice his thoughts out loud, but to say it so rudely and as if you were his property, you became angry; muttering a ‘really?’ to the man as it soon escalated. He didn’t touch you throughout the night, in fact, he ignored you while reading who knows what on his phone. You wanted to say sorry, knowing he was only jealous, and he couldn’t help it; but the man was also very stubborn and even though he didn’t show it, he was also hurt.

Originally posted by bangtannoonas


J-Hope ➳ His smile went away, not knowing what to feel when you had asked him if you could tag along with Taehyung to get ice cream. “Sure.” He muttered a bit too forcefully, sending the younger one a scowl before you smacked his shoulder and began to scold him. He only shrugged when you yelled, only staring at Taehyung in annoyance and before you left, he waved towards you with a fake smile. Hoseok knew he was being too much, but he only wanted you to himself; even if you were going to do something so tiny with other guys, he only wished you had invited him to go along.

Originally posted by jinful


RapMonster ➳ You snapped at him when he was being too clingy while you two were out with the guys, telling him to stop caging you in and that you weren’t his pet. What you didn’t expect, was for him to let you go and abruptly walk away in annoyance, giving you what you wanted but in all honesty, you didn’t want it to go that way. You felt cold with out him by your side, and when you stumbled while losing your footing, he quickly looked over his shoulder to make sure you were okay; only to find Hoseok grabbing your arm and helping you walk. Namjoon quickly rushed back, and you gave him a teasing grin. “So now you want me?”

“Shut up.”

Originally posted by yoonseok


Jimin ➳ Whenever you spoke to a guy, especially Jungkook, the boy was quick to come by your side while pulling you possessively to his chest. At first, you found this cute until you figured out Jimin’s true intentions as he glared towards the younger man; inwardly telling him to walk away or he would regret ever speaking to you. You were speechless, and when you threw his arm off you to yell at him that you weren’t his toy and are in fact, a human being, he instantly felt guilty. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, biting his lip out of anxiousness as he grabbed your hand, “you’re just..too beautiful and I’m scared they’ll take you away from me.”

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin


V ➳ He was always clingy with you, showing his love for you whether you were lounging inside your home or in public, but when he was jealous; it was another story. He was becoming annoyed with how friendly you and Namjoon were being, and when one day he had roughly yanked you to his side and away from the older man while going towards the car, you screamed at him telling the man that you weren’t his possession; which angered him even more because you did belong to him, in a relationship sense. He didn’t ignore you, but he masked all his emotions from you for the next day, not being as clingy as he tried to give you your space even though it hurt him.

Originally posted by mvssmedia


Jungkook ➳ He tried to hold his jealousy in, to push it aside and he did a very good job at it, that was, until you two were alone. You irritated him when he saw you texting Seokjin, knowing it wasn’t anything serious to get mad over and when you asked him to carry you to the bed playfully, he muttered, “Why don’t you ask Jin instead?” Your face was blank, blinking at the man and trying to register what he had said into your brain until you burst into a fit of giggles at his ‘joke’.

“I will, then.” You were teasing him, and he only let out a sigh; wondering how you knew which buttons to push at the wrong times.

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned


Masterlist

anonymous asked:

So I don't know if you've done anything like this but could you do MC playing a dating sim and RFA gets jealous of her gushing over her favorite boy?

Haha, this one was so fun to write! Hope you like them~


Zen:

  • He noticed you’ve been on your phone a lot lately
  • But then he passed behind you one day and saw a lot of drawings
  • He asked if you were reading something, but you just calmly reply you’re playing a game
  • When he sees a picture of a pretty boy come on the screen, he gets ruffled
  • “What kind of game is that?” 
  • “Ninja Ninja! It’s a dating sim where you can find out their backstories and stuff.”
  • He couldn’t believe it….the guy had red eyes too!
  • Throughout the week, every time you were on your phone, he’d always ask if you were playing “that game” again
  • When you finally thought he was going to stop, he joins you at the breakfast table
  • Wearing a full ninja costume
  • You start laughing and asked where he got it from
  • “Oh, it’s from an old play of mine. They let me keep the costume. I figured I’d bring it out since you’ve been into ninjas lately.”
  • He won’t take it off until you stop playing the game

Yoosung:

  • There had been an LOLOL event that week, so he’d been gaming a lot
  • He was still trying to be mindful when you were there, but you seemed pretty relaxed about it
  • He knew something was up when he asked for one more round and you said you didn’t mind
  • When he stops, he crawls next to you and asks what you’re doing on your phone
  • He sees it’s a game and asks what it’s about
  • “Kissed by the Baddest Baker! It’s a dating sim. I’m on the cookie route. Isn’t this guy cute?” 
  • Oh no…Yoosung’s feeling prickly again
  • “Is this to get back at me? I promise I won’t play LOLOL for a week!”
  • You assure him it’s just a fun game
  • He thought you were done after the route, but wait…there’s other routes?!
  • He gets so jealous, so he throws on an apron that says “Kiss the Cook” and just stands in front of you
  • You oblige and kiss him…but he still finds you playing later
  • “It’s the last route, Yoosung. I promise!”

Jaehee:

  • Let’s be honest, she plays those too
  • But you didn’t know
  • One day she catches you playing “Midnight Mulan” and you just nervously chuckle
  • “I can explain–”
  • “I’m on Shang’s route.” 
  • She gives you walkthroughs or hints when you need it
  • Sometimes, to destress, you two will play together and read all the characters in funny voices
  • It really just ends up in giggle fits because you two are ridiculous

Jumin:

  • You were busy playing with Elizabeth when your phone dinged
  • You asked Jumin to check it, thinking it was just a text
  • “What is Queen’s Wardrobe?” 
  • “Oh! That’s just a dating sim I play.”
  • You can basically feel the tension reverberating off of him
  • You have to explain it’s just a game and show him how it works
  • He doesn’t understand why, but he’s okay with it
  • You notice he asks a lot of questions about it…but you can hear the jealous undertones
  • The questions grow more specific when you start smiling
  • “Oh, the guy whose route I’m on just bought the MC a cafe.”
  • He’s silent for a moment and then takes a deep breath
  • You intervene right away, “No, Jumin! Please don’t get a cafe!”


Seven:

  • He noticed a new notification sound on your phone that would go off around every two hours
  • You would disappear a few minutes and then come back
  • He thinks nothing of it until you’re in the store and another girl had the same sound go off
  • You and the girl exchange glances and laugh is this a girl code?
  • He prepares himself, and when the notification goes off, he grabs the phone before you can
  • “What is Eerie Emails?”
  • You have to explain that it’s a dating sim set up like a messenger app with chats every two hours
  • You start showing him the character
  • He points to the one with the glasses (which you say is your favorite)
  • “This looks like me!”
  • “Really? I don’t think so.” 
  • When he finds out that your favorite character has a conflict with his twin sister, he’s so done
  • He keeps making the server crash
  • You get disappointed every time the app crashes and ask if he can fix it
  • He just shrugs, “Why don’t you ask your mysterious IT guy?”

Check out our other headcanons~ Masterlist

anonymous asked:

Writting Prompt: Danny cries in his sleep, sometimes really loud. And screams. Once he even transform while sleeping. The problem is, he start to doing it when he fall asleep in class. Hope it's good enough to write

angst oh god what is with this phandom and angst okay here’s ur angst with a heavy dose of weird millennial humour because this bitch can’t angst without a metric fuck of comedy sprinkled all over the place

also I’m sick and wrote half of this in the middle of the night while feverish so like, I did my best

“OKAY THIS IS FINE.” Danny said aloud to the floor. He didn’t really intend the floor to be the recipient of his ire but it was where his face was currently planted so it would just have to ding darn diddly deal with it.

Danny had experienced his fair share of being stuck in awkward positions but this one had rivalled many of his top ten, and he hadn’t even been thrown across a room by a ghost to achieve it! Nope, he just fell out of bed.

One arm was flung out before him, the other awkwardly pulled behind his back, still twisted up in his bedsheets, along with his leg. Just the one leg, the other was hanging - in quite a remarkable display of inhuman dexterity - over his shoulder.

All it took was some gut wrenching, heart stopping, bile inducing nightmares. Nothing fancy really, just the visceral image of everyone he loved and cared about DYING from TOO MUCH FIRE right in front of his eyes as he watched helplessly. Yep.

“THIS IS FINE.” Danny said again, a little louder this time. The carpet smelled like feet, Danny decided maybe he should take his eating hole off the gross floor before he caught a foot fungus on his lip. He knew it was possible, it happened to Ricky Marsh once at camp.

Yeah Danny should REEEAAAALLY get his face off that carpet. Right now, yep. He was gonna get up at this very mome-

Jazz heard a loud snore come from Danny’s bedroom. He was supposed to be up half an hour ago, school started in ten minutes. But she knew he had a plate piled high with superhero shenanigans that kept him up at obnoxiously late hours nine nights out of ten. The bags under his eyes could hold all the homework he never got done, with extra space for his unfinished chores.

Jazz was fully prepared to sneak in and firmly tuck him into bed with ghost proof sheets, a lie, an excuse and at least three compromises balanced on her tongue ready to jump at any parent and/or teacher that wanted her brother out of the warm sanctuary of bed today. Then she heard his gentle snores twist into a devastatingly soul crushing little whimper.

Oh boy, that wasn’t good.

Jazz opened her brother’s bedroom door and quietly peered inside to find… no one. He wasn’t there. Typical ghost bullshi-

Jazz had almost closed the door when she heard it again, that tiny little whimper. Was he invisible? She thought to herself, barely acknowledging how fucking weird her life had gotten that that question came so naturally to her.

Jazz padded into the room and found that Danny had, somehow, managed to fall asleep on the floor beside his bed. One leg still hanging in the air via blanket sling, it was almost funny, until he screamed that is.

Jazz nearly jumped out of her spotty blue socks when a noise ripped out of her sleeping brother’s throat, a noise that honestly could have come from the cutting room floor of a horror flick that was deemed too terrifyingly violent to be shown on screens literally anywhere. His back was arched, his mouth wide, hands curled in on themselves, he almost looked as though he were convulsing.

It stopped suddenly, with a gasp and a jolt Danny woke. He didn’t shoot up or flail about, he just laid down on the floor, eyes blearily noticing that there was another person in the room. Jazz sat down by his side as he wiped his face, staring at the tears on his hands.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Danny glared at her.

“Sorry, standard question.” Jazz mumbled as she unhooked his foot from the clinging bedsheets. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Danny, still laying on the floor, swung his right arm around, it had gone numb and tingly, the kind of numb and tingly that really hecking hurt when he started moving it again, yeesh.

“I had this really gnarly dream,” he started as he massaged his arm, Jazz listened intently. “I ordered a sandwich without mayo but when I bit into it there was mayo like, EVERYWHERE and-”

Jazz dropped a pillow on his face.

“That was rude.” Danny’s muffled voice grumbled.

“If you don’t want to talk about it you can just say so instead of being an asshole.” Jazz huffed as she found a pair of jeans and a shirt that were Clean Enough and threw them at the pillow. “You were crying and screaming, I was WORRIED.”

Danny pulled the pillow and clothes away and looked at his sister, actually looked her in the face. Her eyebrows were pulled tight and she was gnawing on her bottom lip, she really did look worried. Danny sat up and fished a somewhat pungent binder from under his bed, Pariah’s Oath he really needed to do his laundry.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” he stared down at his hands, face suspiciously neutral.

“Okay.” Jazz’s voice was gentle, she wasn’t going to push it, she’d learned a long time ago that it always just made things worse. “That’s okay, just know you can always talk to me, alright?”

Danny stood up and stretched, joints cracking and popping in a way that made Jazz want to barf. He could feel his arm again, thank the Ancients.

“You say that now, but every time a new rocket model comes out-”

“Bye Danny.” Jazz fucked off faster than Johnny’s shadow at dawn, absolutely Not wanting to stick around for another geeky space rant. Danny’s shit eating grin followed her out the door until it clicked shut, suddenly dropping back into the deadass tired face of a student who was entirely convinced that consistent sleep schedules were a myth.

He was not okay, ooooh he was so not okay.

Falling asleep again had been a mistake, a GRAVE mista- no okay, no, that pun was just inappropriate. He’d just had not one, but TWO disgustingly detailed nightmares about Literally Everyone dying, death puns were OFF the table right now.

Regular puns were still on the cards though, he thought to himself as he plopped his Little Pocket Book of Puns on top of a deck of cards sitting on his desk. He was proud of that one, in fact he snapchatted it, his smug face squeezed into the corner of the shot by the words ‘passng chem is off the cards bt my puns arnt’. It was easy to fool people with photos, he only had to pull off one good smile and people thought he was fine.

The flood of horrified snapchats he received in return made him giddy. Everything from a two minute video of Valerie trying not to hurl to a picture of Dash’s middle finger. Danny grinned, his grin looked genuine, it was not.

“This is fine.” he lied.

*RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING*

Danny barely made it through the door before the bell went off, he celebrated his victory with a very brief and offensively outdated dance move before Tucker threw a pen at his head and the teacher told him to sit down before he hurt himself.

Danny’s goofy grin remained plastered onto his face as he sat next to Tucker, who was giving him the kind of look that was usually reserved for the weird surrealist internet videos Nathan always tagged him in on Facebook.

“You are like…” Tucker started, fiddling with the broken nib of his stylus. “Super hyper today what the fu-”

“Language, Foley.” the homeroom teacher deadpanned from behind his book.

“Sorry sir! But seriously what the fuck dude.” Tucker continued at a still very perceptible volume. The teacher sighed heavily.

“It’s cool I’m fine I just got like two hours of sleep and drank five coffees in ten minutes I think I can hear colours.” Danny’s eye twitched.

Tucker didn’t laugh, Danny was trying to be funny but it was like, twelve year old funny. He sighed and lowered his voice.

“You’re having nightmares again aren’t you.” Tucker stared through Danny’s plastic grin with serious eyes. “We talked about this Danny, I told you to STOP faking this shit with me. You know what happens when you don’t get enough sleep, you get really fucking weird.”

“Did you get my snapchat this morning?” Danny asked as though he hadn’t heard a single word his best friend had just said.

“Yes, it was awful and I hate you.” The jab had no bite, Tucker couldn’t stand seeing Danny like this, it was like some awful parody of his friend amped up to eleven. He didn’t bother trying to talk sense into him, sense was gone, sense was out the window, sense was on the next plane to god damn Timbuktu.

Danny’s giddiness didn’t let up a single inch throughout their first couple of morning classes. He had stupid jokes and shitty puns hidden up every sleeve in the building, and the tiniest little thing would set him off giggling. Star smacked a fly with a ruler, Danny literally fell off his chair laughing.

Mr Lancer gave Tucker permission to drag Danny out into the hallway to calm down. Tucker grimaced in apology as he dragged along a snorting Danny by the sleeve, the rest of the class having a good laugh of their own.

“Do you think he’s like, actually on drugs or something?” Tucker heard Paulina whisper not even remotely quietly as they left the room.

The moment the classroom door had closed, Tucker slammed Danny against the wall.

“DUDE! GET. A. GRIP.” Tucker was not even in the general vicinity of fucking around right now. Danny needed to chill his tits before he got into serious trouble, the last thing he needed was a detention lumped on top of the pile of reasons Danny’s life was a train wreck.

Danny clenched his teeth, his eyes were wide, too wide. Then his mouth curled up and a laugh squeezed its way through taught lips. Oh no, not again. Not on Tucker’s watch. Before the next giggle fit could get into full swing Tucker had pulled out his drink bottle, uncapped it, and dumped the entirety of its contents on Danny’s stupid guffawing head.

A cough and a splutter later and Danny was sitting on the floor, the stupid grin officially washed from his face.

“Can we talk like actual human beings now?” Tucker asked, the plastic water bottle thudding emptily on the ground.

“I’m not an ‘actual human being’. So no. I can’t.” Danny’s voice was short and clipped, his expression stony.

Tucker slumped to the floor next to his best friend, ignoring the puddle he was half sitting in. They sat in silence for a bit, listening to Mr Lancer’s muffled voice droning on about adverbs or something. A squeak from someone’s shoe echoed down the empty hall. A fluorescent light flickered. Danny winced.

“You wanna borrow my earphones? I’ve got some chill tunes if you need to like, shut everything out for a bit.” Tucker held the tangled cords out to Danny who promptly stuck them in his ears and buried his face in his arms. It was all just, just too much right now.

He threw his hands over his ears when the bell rang, Tucker put a gentle arm around his shoulder.

“C'mon, it’s about to get really loud out here.” he said quietly, taking Danny by the arm and leading him to their next class. It was history, they were watching a movie. Perfect. Tucker rolled up his jacket and put it on the desk in front of Danny.

“Try and sleep a bit, if you can. You can copy my notes later.”

Tucker was a good friend.

Danny put his head down, Tucker’s chill playlist still thrumming softly in his ears. He didn’t want to sleep, he didn’t want to see everyone die again, but his eyes could barely stay open. He read somewhere online that just laying down and resting was still good for you, even if he didn’t sleep he could still get some energy back at least, maybe.

He was out like a light the moment his head hit Tucker’s jacket.

The dream was never the same. Every time it started as just a regular weird ass dream, he was at the Nasty Burger, but he was sitting at his kitchen table. His friends were there, so was some guy he’d never met, they were talking about monster trucks or… something. The guy he didn’t know was showing him a song he wrote, it was gentle and calm, Danny liked it.

That was when the Guys in White showed up. They’d been there before, but not every time. Danny remembered the last dream he had, vaguely, he didn’t know he was dreaming now, but he knew what was going to happen next.

“RUN!” he tried to scream, but his voice came out strangled and quiet. Sam and Tucker kept chatting, they couldn’t see the danger, the strange guy started playing a different song, he had an acoustic guitar now and was on a stage that wasn’t there before.

The Guys in White aimed their ectoguns, knocking off shots around the entire Nasty Burger, Valerie collapsed behind the counter, had she always been there? Jazz was next, she was reading a book on the lounge that had definitely been there the whole time. Danny kept trying to scream, but his throat just couldn’t make anything more than a strangled rasping noise.

Sam and Tucker collapsed before him, the music changed again, the guy on the stage had a smoking hole in his chest, he was playing a cello now. The music was calm, soft and gentle, it hadn’t stopped during the shooting. The GIW agent at the head of the group turned to Danny, face splitting into an evil grin, flaming hair licking at his temples, it wasn’t a GIW agent any more. It had never been a GIW agent.

Danny tried to transform, he needed to save them, they were dead but he NEEDED to save them, if he could go ghost, if he could change he could fix this. His core felt so far away, the cold chill within him just JUST out of his grasp. Why couldn’t he change? WHY COULDN’T HE CHANGE?

Tucker sat at his desk in the dark classroom, taking halfassed notes about… something something president Washington. Hadn’t they already covered this? A flash at the edge of his vision pulled his tired gaze over to the sleeping mess beside him. Danny made a noise, a whimper? It sounded like he was trying to say something.

“Ru… ru-” Danny muttered, voice broken and, oh god he sounded so terrified.

Tucker’s heart splintered into tiny little pieces, and those tiny pieces shattered until his heart was basically just a pile of powder, really sad and devastated powder. Concentrated melancholy, in powder form. He nudged Danny.

“Danny, Danny wake up. Dude you’re talking in your sleep, WAKE UP.” Tucker was super worried, like beyond overprotective mother worried, if Danny said something incriminating in his sleep, if he said something about PHANTOM-

“Gotta… go-” a strand of silver began to creep through Danny’s dark hair.

Oh fuck.

Tucker shook Danny as violently as he subtly could, he needed to wake up. He needed to wake the fuck up right the fuck right NOW. FUCK. It was panic time, shit was getting dangerously identity revealing up in here and Tucker had to do something about it.

More silver was weaving through Danny’s hair, flickers of a dark, skin tight costume appearing for only the briefest of anxiety inducing moments. They were sitting in the back corner of the room, no one had noticed that anything was wrong yet, but someone would. Someone would notice SOON if Tucker couldn’t get Danny to wAKE THE HECKING FUCK HELL UP.

“Danny I swear to god if you don’t wake up I’m going to kill the rest of you. WAKE. UP.” How was Tucker supposed to wake him up without drawing attention to- oh good lordy fucK HIS HAIR.

Tucker pulled Danny’s hood over his head as quickly as he could nearly half a second after a flash of white overtook his entire scalp. Had anyone noticed?? Tucker glanced around the room, nobody was looking, thank christ Wes wasn’t in this class.

Tucker tucked the white strands into the hood as best he could manage before texting Sam as fast as his fingers would allow.

Sam was in the middle of copying some crap about photosynthesis that she already knew when she felt her phone buzz. It was from Tucker, and if his spelling was anything to go by, he was in trouble.

'DIASTRACTION NOWm’

Sam got the gist.

Pretending she was about to vomit everywhere was an easy way out of the classroom, and from there it was just a quick run to the fire alarm. It wasn’t the first time Sam had pulled off a fake emergency, she smashed the glass and hit the button with no hesitation, fuck the consequences. From there she just had to figure out where Danny and Tucker were, they all had copies of each other’s classes in case of just such emergencies.

History, they had history. She knew which room that was.

Sam took off running, boots thundering through the crowds of students filtering out of their classrooms. Sam could barely hear the alarm over the sound of her heart beat thudding in her ears, she didn’t have time to panic and worry, something was wrong and the most important thing right now was finding out what it was and if her friends were okay.

Someone noticed her through the crowd though. As she smashed through a group of kids coming out of a maths class, one guy caught her gaze, one guy decided to follow. Jesus shit she did NOT have the time for this.

Sam detoured down a seperate hallway, the tall redhead on her tail easily keeping pace, why couldn’t he just mind his own god damn business for once and, you know what? Sam thought, FUCK IT.

Another detour into an empty classroom and she had him. Bursting through the door after her, Wes looked around fervently, expecting to find Danny in some kind of juicy compromising situation. What he got was a surprise boot to the gut and he hit the deck like a sack of bricks.

Sam didn’t waste a second before bolting from the room, Wes had already taken up enough of her precious time.

Wes coughed and wheezed and tried to drag a breath into his aching abdomen, she’d clocked him a damn heavy blow and his body was not cooperating until it had a good few moments to recover from Whatever The Fuck Just Happened.

Damn it he was so close!

“Alright everyone, out onto the parking lot, like we do literally every other week.” The history teacher droned, his voice dry. He didn’t even bother making sure everyone left the room before walking out himself, it was probably a ghost attack anyway. These things lost their sense of urgency after the last fifty billion times, the only reason he didn’t make everyone get back into their seats was for legal reasons and honestly, he could really use the smoke break.

Tucker made a show of getting up to leave, but once he and Danny were the only two left he immediately dropped his shit and whammo’d his fists down on Danny’s desk.

“WAKE UP!” He yelled as Sam slid haphazardly into the room, clocking her hip on the teacher’s desk as she failed to reign in her momentum. She struggled with her footing for a moment before catching herself and racing up to the back of the class.

“Is he okay? What’s happening??” she asked, breathlessly.

Tucker lifted the hood from Danny’s bright-ass silvery hair.

“He’s transforming in his sleep and I can’t get him to wake up.” Tucker rushed out in one breath before grabbing Danny by the shoulders. “WAKE. UP. WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!!” Tucker screamed while shaking him with about as much tenderness as an irate Skulker on illegal performance enhancing ghost drugs. Finally, it was enough.

Danny jolted roughly, spasmed almost, and opened his fluorescent green eyes. Sam and Tucker took a quick step back in case he lashed out, but he didn’t. Danny’s hands gripped at the table hard enough to leave gouges in the sharpie-graffiti stained surface as his breath came out laboured and rasping. Tears smeared across his cheeks and dripped from his nose and chin.

He blinked, hard, before finally raising his head from the desk, looking remarkably disoriented. He was still flickering in and out of ghost form, disappearing from view entirely a few times as well, but it was slowing down as he took a few deep, shuddering breaths. Soon enough he was calm enough to stick to one form, human fortunately.

Sam breathed out a sigh and sat heavily on the nearest chair. He was okay and god she needed to sit down and catch the breath she’d left behind in science class.

Tucker sat beside Danny - who was now vigorously rubbing at his face - and took back his earphones, Sam could hear something that sounded like a cello playing through the small speakers

Tucker got through maybe the first two syllables of the standard 'are you okay?’ when he was abruptly cut off by a mildly lisping giggle.

Wes stood half through the doorway, phone out and trained on Danny’s previously unstable form. He looked a little pale and seemed to be having trouble breathing but that didn’t stop a wide shit eating grin from stretching across his freckled cheeks.

“Gotcha.” he sneered before turning on his heel and fleeing in unbridled glee.

Sam had recovered quickly from her previous run, she was on him like the Box Ghost on a roll of bubble wrap. Tucker heard the pounding of two sets of feet followed by a loud THUD, a squeal, and then what sounded suspiciously like a phone being heavily stomped on by a very firmly placed boot. The groaning came after that, punctuated with some extremely foul language that may have been spluttered through a bleeding nose and/or lip.

Sam came back into the room with a crushed phone in one hand and bloody knuckles on the other. She wasn’t dicking around, not today.

“You okay Danny?” she asked, getting only a tired glare in response. “Sorry, standard question.”

Sam picked up Danny’s backpack and put her hand out for him to take, he grasped it gratefully and she pulled him up from his chair as Tucker wound an arm around his waist. With the support of the two actual greatest people in the whole damn world, Danny walked out of the school and into the parking lot where an exasperated principal Ishiyama was counting heads and calling names.

“Equal Rites! What were you three still doing inside? Get into your- Mr Fenton are you alright?” Mr Lancer’s angry stride softened into a quick jog, concern weaving it’s way through his face at the sight of Danny’s red eyes and wet cheeks.

“He uh, had a head on collision with Wes on our way out.” said Sam, like a liar. “Took a corner too fast and copped a hit to the nose so his eyes got all teary, but he’s okay.”

“Wes might need a little help though.” Tucker added on. “We offered but he’s pretty much convinced we just rammed him on purpose and he threatened to tell everyone we beat him up sooo we kinda just left him on the floor.”

Lancer rubbed at his brow, exasperated. He did NOT have the time for Wes shenanigans. He took a quick look at Danny’s face, checking for any bleeding, satisfied when he could find none he sent the three on their way to get their names marked off before he headed back to the school building to find Wes.

“Thanks.” Danny squeezed Sam and Tucker tenderly, never wanting to let them go. He was so glad they were here, he was so glad they were alive.

“Sleepover at my place tonight.” Tucker declared. “No exceptions, there’s gonna be cuddle piles and maybe a pillow fort, but definitely lots of these.” he gave Danny a big ol’ smooch on the forehead and pulled him in for a tight hug. “You’re gonna be fine man, you’ll be okay.”

Sam jumped on and threw her arms around both her boys, pressing her lips against Danny’s cheek.

“We’re not going anywhere, okay? We’re gonna sleep right beside you and tell those fucking nightmares to fuck right off, just like last time.” Sam gave him a hearty thump on the back that might have knocked over a regular human, but Danny barely shifted.

What in Ring and Crown’s name did he ever do to deserve these two.

That night after a coma inducing amount of junk food and soft drink Danny passed out smushed between Sam and Tuck in what was pretty much the most affectionate and down right adorable Danny Sandwich either of them had ever made.

He dreamed of the three of them beating the shit out of Dan with Fenton Anti-Creep Sticks. He hadn’t slept so well in years.

You love me, right?

A/N: Maybe not exactly what you had in mind, but I hope you enjoy. 

“Don’t touch me!” you giggled. But Harry didn’t listen as he continued to reach for you, narrowly avoiding the bicycle kicks you were sending his way.


“Oh, come off it, m’hands aren’t that cold,” he said with an eye roll as he finally got you to settle beneath him. His hands rested on your sides, and while your flesh was protected from his chilly fingers by the thick fabric of your sweater, you could feel the coldness hovering above.


“They are freezing, Harry.” You looked around best you could with Harry keeping you still, trying to find some way to escape. But you were trapped in the middle of the bed like a raft out to sea with no sight of shore.


“Fine, fine. Won’t touch you.” His shoulders slumped in dejection, bottom lip protruding pathetically. You looked for signs of movement; you’d been in this relationship long enough to know Harry never gave up without a fight. “But yeh know, love, cold hands mean ‘ve got a warm heart.”


Your eyebrows raised, mouth in a hard line. “That is the biggest load—”


The words hardly left your mouth before Harry’s hands infiltrated your warm sweater. He roamed the expanse of your warm body, squeezing and tickling all the spots that made you squeal. Maybe it wasn’t his cold hands, but the sound of your laugh echoing throughout his bedroom did make Harry swell with warmth.


“Harry…Harry, please,” you pleaded through heavy breaths, tears leaking from the corners of your eyes. “My tummy hurts…think you’ve given me a cramp.”

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