Running will be there 7am while he’s on his work shift. The hills and trails will be there when there are no arms to comfort you. The clouds will gaze down upon your most glorious moments when no soul is there to witness them. The trees will never utter anything about your messy braid, no makeup or sweaty shirt. Only love what can love you back unconditionally.
Even though I walked over my step goal every day and cut back on eating, I still didn’t lose weight this week. But I have gotten a lot of people telling me I look smaller. I don’t see it but they do say I shouldn’t rely on a scale. It should be how I feel. And I feel great!
I noticed when I was walking everyday, more than 3 miles a day, I felt better. I was mentally sharper than before. I have bad memory problems from my medication and working out helped my brain run smoother. I was less depressed and anxious. Don’t get me wrong I still had panic attacks but not as often. I used walking as a way to let all the bad vibes go and the good ones replace it.
I felt like my life was over because my mental illness. I gave up. Plain and simple, I stopped fighting to live. It wasn’t till my suicide attempt that I got my life together. I really put the time and energy in making myself better.
First I started with my mind. Going to counseling every week. Go to the support group 5 days a week and actually doing the work. After I got my mind on track, I started working on my body. I’ve had so many failed attempts at my weight loss journey that I’ve just wanted to give up and say fuck it.
But some odd reason I keep coming back to it. After a couple of weeks not working on my body, I see a post of a before and after and I want to do that. I want to be the girl in the photo looking happy at her new body.
I want to work hard for it and not go the quick way. I want to do this the healthy way and the right way.
<p>So I haven’t been committed to my weight loss journey seriously but now it’s time for me to get back at it. I’m tired of not like what I see and feel about my body. I know losing the weight isn’t a quick fix to how I see my body but I’m willing to work on my mind, body, and soul. </p>
<p>I’ve been working on my mind for a while now and have finally got some good news. I look back on where I was a year ago and I’m nowhere near what I was. I’m better mentally than I’ve been in years. I’ve gotten past my trauma, well not gotten past it but made it manageable. I started using CBD oil to help with the anxiety, depression, and the pain from my nerve damage. And I’ve never felt better! I might be stable enough soon that I won’t need to see a doctor every month, it could go to every three months. So excited about the possibilities! </p>
<p>I’ve been meditating everyday for 5 minutes and I feel like I got a whole new bond going on with my soul. I’ve never been someone to worry about their soul but now I want everything to be alined. I want my body, soul, and mind to be happy and healthy. </p>
<p>Even if I never lose the weight, I would be happy just being healthy. And a bonus would be that I could make the walk home easily than before. Can’t wait to see where this new lifestyle brings me.
Sorry I haven’t been that active but I’ve been going through a lot mentally and I just don’t care what I eat or how much I walk.
But that’s got to change. I just want to get to a good place. If I stop eating the junk food I’ve been feeding my body, I know I will feel better. At least with my body.
My mind is another story, but I’m working on that. I didn’t believe this at first but journaling really helps. It’s like a best friend I always have next to me. I don’t have to wait for a reply or be afraid I might upset someone with my feelings.
Anyone have any tips to get back on your feet after a tough few weeks?