fish ride bicycles

the signs as paranatural quotes
  • Aries: "On a scale of yes to no. Yes"
  • Taurus: "Is it aggressive? Are you being aggressed?"
  • Gemini: "Hey. I'm fishing for information. Open that can, I need those worms."
  • Cancer: "How are you doing? I'm doing angry"
  • Leo: "Hello, cops police!? Some pasty fooligans are lifting my shop. I don't know how, they must be really strong."
  • Virgo: "A little birdy told me you liked cool things. And by little birdy I mean my years of experience as a friend who loves you."
  • Libra: "No, but you don't have to not punch bears, either."
  • Scorpio: "Golfers are notoriously mortal."
  • Sagittarius: "A life without passion is like a fish without a bicycle in a parallel universe where fish ride bicycles."
  • Capricorn: "Do you think it's cool that he levitates?"
  • Aquarius: "Words before murds, bro."
  • Pisces: "I possess a plethora of popularity prerequisites. A natural aloofness. Good taste in music. A lack of interest in school clubs."
The Zodiac Signs as Suzy Quotes

Aries: WHY NOT SKIP STRAIGHT TO DINNER? SINCE YOU’RE IN SUCH A HURRY TO DESSERT!

Taurus: If she knows we’re relying on her info, she’ll start asking for souls, Collin, and those are harder to harvest than Starchman Stars.

Gemini: Oh, hush. We’re not being paid to tell the truth.

Cancer: It’s proportional to our budget, buttlips. Shush up while I’m blackmailing you.

Leo: Hey! It’s Max! He’s got a lot of nerve, unknowingly appearing in my line of sight!

Virgo: Well, taking inventory, that leaves us wiiith a laundry list of garbled threats against state and local governments, six full minutes of maniacal laughter, and some extraneous twaddle about “special energy”.

Libra: Being with us is like being in all clubs, ‘cause we spy on everyone else.

Scorpio: A life without passion is like a fish without a bicycle in a parallel universe where fish ride bicycles.

Sagittarius: Max!! Can you contort in agony some more for me for the photo for the front page? For me?

Capricorn: Yeah, and I didn’t think advisers did anything besides, like, meekly protest when you blackmail their ham radio club for cool spy equipment.

Aquarius: OK, now let’s play the recording in reverse and see if we can pick up slash fabricate any hidden overtures to Voldemort or the devil.

Pisces: DON’T DO THIS MAX! I’M THE LESSER EVIL! THE LESSER EVIL!

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THE COOL KIDS | “PENNIES”