OMG YES IT’s TRUE! I finally found a bank that meets all of my requirements:

  1. most important - a fiscally and morally responsible bank that did not create or profit from the sub-prime mortgage crisis. The CEO, Jim Herbert, gave an amazing talk at a Goldman Sach conference where he explained why leadership actively kept First Republic out of the subprime mortgage crisis. (I know smaller banks & credit unions didn’t participate in the crisis, but they can’t fulfill requirements #2 - #5.)
  2. free ATM withdrawals worldwide - YESSSSSSSS
  3. no foreign transaction fees on debit cards - FUCK YESSSSS
  4. no lines, no waiting - cuz you just do it online or ask your banker to do it for you.
  5. a responsible human banker who cares about me, who will protect me from bureaucracy, and who I can email/call/text - YES LOVE ME!

First Republic Bank does all this! NOT KIDDING. NOT A JOKE. It’s FOR REALZ.

On top of all this, they bake hot cookies everyday on premises. I caught a peek of their cute little oven in the kitchen. It’s true. (But they said I can’t post pics of it). And if you request it, they will messenger over umbrellas and cookies to your offices. #firstrepublicbank is for reals. 

And can one fall in love with their banker? Cuz I just did. My NYC banker (cuz everyone is assigned a personal banker) and I had a drink while we opened up my accounts. He reassured me that I can pull cashazzz out of every bodega in NYC and they will cover all the ATM fees. Joseph just put in a batch of cookies in the oven that will be ready in 15 min.

I can’t imagine myself ever leaving Joseph. And you know why i think this relationship will last? Because I’m not a financially high net-worth individual, but Joseph still treats me as well as someone who is. That’s real.

Oh and why are we having drinks? Cuz I told Joseph I hate dealing with money and this kind of stuff makes me anxious so he said, “what would make you more relaxed?” I said, “a drink to make this fun & to make me feel like we’re hanging out like friends.” He replied, “we have whiskey and wine - red and white. What do you prefer?”

So excited to leave Chase Bank for First Republic Bank. Thank you Augusto for finding Joseph!