I’m bad at writing full length things but I love writing dialogue. So here’s some things that I think my Fake AH Crew Mica would say. Tried to be as true to badgersinbowties while still being a drug dealing, explosion loving, Los Santos gangster.
“I found out Lindsay was with the Fake Crew when she showed up to movie night covered in blood that wasn’t hers. It was a mess but hey, we still ended up watching Footloose so I guess it wasn’t a completely terrible night.”
“I’ve always wanted to have an open casket funeral so you can all see me being prettier than you for one last time.”
“When I first figured out I liked boys and girls I was really confused, then I got it. I’m a hot piece of ass so why limit my options?”
“The first drug dealer I ever met was some cracked out old guy living in a trailer. I just thought to myself ‘who would want to buy drugs from this guy when I exist?’ and drove the bastard out of business.”
“Lindsay? Do you have any idea where I left my makeup bag?” “Why do you need it?” “It has a remote for something important” “The TV remote?” “Nah, you remember the car bomb we planted on the dick from the grocery store’s car last week?”
“Geoff, I’m not sure why you think this is a bad idea.” “You have a rocket launcher. It’s always a bad day when you have a rocket launcher.” “On the contrary, I think it’s a great day when I have a rocket launcher.”