first there is the war with the humans

The Arcana Characters As Monster Factory Quotes

Muriel- “It looks like you put all his muscles in a space saver bag and vacuumed all the air out”

Julian- “There’s actually no ass there. Negative ass.”

Nadia - “Thats Sun Tzu’s first rule of war, baby. Do them dirty in front of they dad.”

Lucio- “That fresh haunted air on my naked breasts.”

Asra- “I’m gonna throw this shit in my witches cauldron and mix up something NASTY”

Portia- “She solved the mystery of human generosity.”

anonymous asked:

Hello! It's the apex predator!Lothalian au anon again. What if when Ezra first met the Ghost crew he was trying to hide what he was? Like using eye contact to hide slit pupils/reflective eyes, dirt or make-up to cover up skin markings, and not opening his mouth fully. How do you think they found out? Thanks for making headcanons for this ridiculous au.

Well, would the majority of Lothalians not be this species?  If so, would the Empire be oppressing and replacing them with human colonists?  That would give Ezra reason to try and be human-passing….

I don’t know where he’d get contact lenses on the street, and I was assuming his eyes weren’t too different (because his eyes are lovely :P), but yes to the rest!

If he’s quiet, grubby and slower than he’d like to be; no one thinks he’s anything except some (filthy) human kid.  He can lift credits from the people who don’t suspect he’s Lothalian, but those that do suspect sometimes try to break his fingers or jaw!

So he is what he is, and tries to hide it away.

Honestly, everyone on the Ghost crew worked it out quickly, each in their own way!

  • Hera had done her research beforehand about the planet, and guessed Ezra was native straight away
  • Sabine spotted Ezra’s markings even before he was made to shower properly, and  worked out the meaning
  • Kanan saw Ezra either couldn’t keep down or digest most vegetables
  • Zeb smelt the difference, pretty much instantly
  • No one told Chopper, who’s a bit bitter he wasn’t informed

Ezra being comfortable enough to actually tell them was still a big deal, though.  It wasn’t just jedi training and a family structure (in this AU), but being able to be Lothalian without fear that truly let him begin to become his best self.

Current mood: Manu Bennett being a soft teddy bear.

To explain, he literally jumped off the main stage at Heroes & Villains Fan Fest during his and Katrina’s panel to hug a disabled fan who said Arrow helped her through a near-death experience, all the while shouting “Hugs! Hugs! Big hugs!”

Before that, a little girl in the audience requested that he “do the haka”. He responded by getting not only her but also ALMOST EVERY KID IN THE AUDIENCE to get on stage with him “so he could show them how to do it”. A haka is a Maori ceremonial war dance. This guy really loves his heritage. It was pretty awesome!

He also told this really lovely story of when he visited Greece and saw the first amphitheater ever constructed as part of an explanation of his acting process. Paraphrasing, “it’s all about finding the humanity and the vulnerablity in the character… so that even though he [Slade] has done the horrible things, you can understand why and go ‘oh’.”

I knew nothing of this man outside of him being an actor before 12 pm today. He is now one of my favorite humans. He’s such a deeply empathetic dude. Mad respect for him.

The Genius of Marie Curie

Growing up in Warsaw in Russian-occupied Poland, the young Marie Curie, originally named Maria Sklodowska, was a brilliant student, but she faced some challenging barriers. As a woman, she was barred from pursuing higher education, so in an act of defiance, Marie enrolled in the Floating University, a secret institution that provided clandestine education to Polish youth. By saving money and working as a governess and tutor, she eventually was able to move to Paris to study at the reputed Sorbonne. here, Marie earned both a physics and mathematics degree surviving largely on bread and tea, and sometimes fainting from near starvation. 

In 1896, Henri Becquerel discovered that uranium spontaneously emitted a mysterious X-ray-like radiation that could interact with photographic film. Curie soon found that the element thorium emitted similar radiation. Most importantly, the strength of the radiation depended solely on the element’s quantity, and was not affected by physical or chemical changes. This led her to conclude that radiation was coming from something fundamental within the atoms of each element. The idea was radical and helped to disprove the long-standing model of atoms as indivisible objects. Next, by focusing on a super radioactive ore called pitchblende, the Curies realized that uranium alone couldn’t be creating all the radiation. So, were there other radioactive elements that might be responsible?

In 1898, they reported two new elements, polonium, named for Marie’s native Poland, and radium, the Latin word for ray. They also coined the term radioactivity along the way. By 1902, the Curies had extracted a tenth of a gram of pure radium chloride salt from several tons of pitchblende, an incredible feat at the time. Later that year, Pierre Curie and Henri Becquerel were nominated for the Nobel Prize in physics, but Marie was overlooked. Pierre took a stand in support of his wife’s well-earned recognition. And so both of the Curies and Becquerel shared the 1903 Nobel Prize, making Marie Curie the first female Nobel Laureate.

In 1911, she won yet another Nobel, this time in chemistry for her earlier discovery of radium and polonium, and her extraction and analysis of pure radium and its compounds. This made her the first, and to this date, only person to win Nobel Prizes in two different sciences. Professor Curie put her discoveries to work, changing the landscape of medical research and treatments. She opened mobile radiology units during World War I, and investigated radiation’s effects on tumors.

However, these benefits to humanity may have come at a high personal cost. Curie died in 1934 of a bone marrow disease, which many today think was caused by her radiation exposure. Marie Curie’s revolutionary research laid the groundwork for our understanding of physics and chemistry, blazing trails in oncology, technology, medicine, and nuclear physics, to name a few. For good or ill, her discoveries in radiation launched a new era, unearthing some of science’s greatest secrets.

From the TED-Ed Lesson The genius of Marie Curie - Shohini Ghose

Animation by Anna Nowakowska

Humans vs. Aliens: the Competition

Humans baffle the Galactic Confederacy. They turn everything into some kind of challenge. Keerstii have lost flying races to humans wearing various flying apparatuses and they are physically built to fly; Rhaan have won most of their endurance contests but lose agility nearly every time; Phyrxians maintain a fairly even win-lose ratio over what humans call free running.

And that’s just it: everything ends up as a challenge of some sort when humans get involved.

“First one across the finish line wins!”

“My clothes are better than yours.”

“Let’s see who’s got the better jokes!”

“I bet I can kill more of these fuckers than you!”

The worst part? Humans are so adaptable that their win ratios always seem to be increasing. It’s like they don’t know the meaning of peace. They always want more, better, faster, and they’re never satisfied that enough’s enough.

When the GC falls into a war with other space-faring people, humans turn that into a competition, too, and the next thing anyone knows, half their enemies are dead and the rest have surrendered. This quickly turns into, “You can’t make friends with those assholes,” and of course someone takes that bet. Humans! (The terrifying part is that they win that bet and now the GC has a new section of space to maintain, all because humans think can’t means I dare you.)

OK, but please consider Trans Spiderman

- That scene in “Civil War” where Peter insists on being called “Spiderman”; not “Spiderling”, or “The Human Spider” (like Tony teased), but “SpiderMAN”

- Tony knows immediately, but doesn’t let Peter know that he knows. Just every once in a while, when Peter finds that he’s low on cash for new binders or hormone treatments, he’ll look in his account and find that a good sum of money has been transferred to him from the Stark account

- Also Tony is more than willing to provide the money needed when or if Peter decides to get top surgery

- Happy is clueless at first. He knows that the new kid is hiding something, but he doesn’t know what exactly. Once Happy confronts Peter about it and Peter tells him Happy is immediately supportive and he instantly sends out a mass email to everyone in Stark industries saying that anyone disrespecting Peter’s gender (or really anyone’s for that matter) will be immediately fired, and he insists on escorting Peter to any Pride marches that he decides to take part in, and he basically vows to go toe-to-toe with anyone who is transphobic towards his spider godson

- Aunt May of course knows (she was one of the first people Peter came out to), and she is more than happy to help her nephew with anything he needs to feel more at home with his gender. Needless to say the night he came home asking her for help with getting ready for homecoming her mind was instantly running a mile a minute with “Oh my god this is it this is the day my little boy is becoming a man oh my god he’s come so far I need to do whatever I can to make sure this night goes perfect I’ll tell him how to slow dance and I’ll get him a corsage for his date and oh shit he’s gonna want to wear a tie with his suit fuck I don’t know how to do a windsor knot Youtube help me”

- Bruh, that scene where Peter is interrogating that one guy and the dude is like “What’s wrong with your voice? I know what a girl sounds like”, and Peter immediately gets upset, yelling “I’M NOT A GIRL I’M A BOY!”

Please feel free to add on with anymore supporting evidence or headcanons

Now that’s a number I never thought I would reach, I have no words on how to thank yall!! Thank you so much for your support and enduring me being a multifandom trash~ so here have my Human Digimon AU nerds that you must have forgotten by now :3c

Edit: it won’t let me put this in normal title format, so:

Almost Peaceful


Four thousand planets in the Great Unity. Six thousand sentient species, give or take. Technology so complicated it could only be repaired by crews with multiple different cognition types on the team. And that’s not even mentioning the violent flare-ups that had brought the Great Unity down from eight thousand planets and fourteen thousand species. It was entirely understandable for the humans to be intimidated. But no, that wasn’t quite it.

To the species with similar intelligences and social structures, it almost seemed that the humans were embarrassed, of all things. But nobody paid them any mind. Their insistence on using the freely given technologies to outphase the signals that they had been broadcasting for cycles? Odd. Same with their social quarantining of all human history, and with the electromagnetic shielding of their quadrant. The only thing people really paid attention to was when this backwater nothing asked for the other species to delete the preliminary data gathered earlier. Some worlds balked at that, but this tiny, flimsy race was so obviously terrified that even the most predatory of the war races consented to the purge. It didn’t really matter anyways - their quadrant, an even mix of death worlds and featureless rocks, was otherwise entirely empty of life, sentient or otherwise.

The Alab were the first to realize how strange that had been. If humanity had then hidden itself away, kept from the rest of the universe, it would have been as expected (there were many shy, prey-evolved races), and they would have been ignored, as seemed their wish. But no. The flimsy bipeds built ships of their own, founded settlements on half a dozen worlds. And these places weren’t shielded like Earthspace was; instead they were as obvious and unshielded as possible. Curious about the oddity - they were a plains evolution, so curiosity fit them - the Alab ventured as close as they could to the strange cities without being spotted, hidden beneath the best cloaking the Great Unity had to offer.

As it turned out, they didn’t need to hide. Partially because the Humans saw them, somehow, and partially because the Humans invited them down. By now the Alab’s interest had attracted the attention of most of the Great Unity, who telepathically watched through the Alab sensory hearts as a world opened up around them.

This colony was not the tarnished scar they would have expected of a nascent race. Even the planet was different from the dusty rock it had started as.

A cool breeze touched the Alab delegation. It was scented with so many things that, for a moment, the Alab was frozen in simply trying to process the variety. The variety, of course, came from the masterpiece of terraforming before them: where there were one craters, glittering pools shimmered with the reflective scales of aquatic creatures; the star-burnt ridges now housed both massive, rigid photosynthetic organisms and prancing furred quadrupeds.

Even that brief glimpse sparked massive speculation on the universal scale. Were the humans genetic engineers whose art surpassed even that of the Tra'di? Did their planet simply have that many organisms, with an evolutionary history far enough beyond anything seen elsewhere, to create such variety of perfectly proportioned life? Landscape designers hurriedly took notes and scans, preparing for the unavoidable rush of requests for the new style.

But that wasn’t the mission, as stunning as the landscape was. The Alab turned around, clicking their hearts at the abrupt change in input. The city was massive, a gleaming wonder in stone and steel, somehow surpassing the crystal forests of the Mavse in elegance. The ships soaring through the skies above shone like the stars they sought, yet the Alab could pick out individual details on the designs adorning them.

Not long after this event, other species began to visit Humanity’s homes. Without fail, each and every one of them was uniquely beautiful. Their ships weren’t the fastest, but one couldn’t help but be impressed at their symmetry. Their music wasn’t the most complex, but it often gave rise to more emotion than actual empathic abilities. And each colony had its own biome, its own set of unique species, each more impressive than the last.

Rumors began to grow, as they do, surrounding the home world of the greatest artists the universe had ever seen. Some said that it was drab, focused on training the artists they sent out rather than on making the art itself. Others declared that Earth obviously was a religious secret (they had found out that humans had religion only a few cycles earlier. Of course, their prayers and monuments were the most beautiful anyone had ever seen), but that was scoffed at. The sheer breadth of human religions wouldn’t allow a decision that unified, the debaters pointed out, and at least one human would have given it away before now if it was something centered on faith.

By far the most popular opinion was that even the most wondrous works on the colony worlds paled in comparison to the splendor of Earth. Tales spread, saying that anyone nonhuman who saw Earth in all its glory would be struck silent by awe, never to speak again, for fear of diminishing the memory of what they saw. That Earth was so wondrous that the colonists saw their own worlds, home to more abstract riches and honor than most of the rest of the universe, as hopelessly utilitarian, as gray and lifeless in comparison as Raner Alikrem to Ormek 8.

Over the Human cycles, Earth grew in fame and mystery. Despite taking advantage of every advancement shown to them, Humanity never once volunteered knowledge or technology beyond that of their art and culture. Nobody minded, though, as said art was definitely worth the cost. Humans got more and more famous, and continually better educated, as the Great Unity slowly funded and rewarded their astounding work. But they retained their peculiar aversions, never accepting any weapons, or training, or even remotely militant designs, acting almost horrified at the thought of violence. It made sense, in an odd way. The fragmentary human history that had been gathered from the occasional interview with the taciturn race was as pure as it came, one where even hinting at conflict would see one shunned. Traders and scholars learned this quickly, taking specialized training in avoiding the subject just to avoid scaring their precious artists.

It was with this in mind that the Gald set out for Earth. They were one of the oldest species in the galaxy, and undoubtedly one of those for whom the times of peace chafed the most. It was in seeking both truth and conquest that they sent out their expeditionary force towards Earth. The logic was plain even to the most sedentary of species - if the most fascinating mystery in all the universe was being guarded by the eleventh most physically weak of the races, and the second least violent (the least being an immobile, telepathic cellscape that covered a small moon), then of course a predator-evolved race with an undeniable urge to spread their reach, grow their power, would eventually come after them.

The first fleet was more of a team of armed ambassadors than an armada. Even as they attacked, the Gald hoped to stay in Humanity’s good graces. The Gald kept in careful contact with them up until the moment they crossed over into the shielded Earthspace.

The first fleet was never heard from again. The Gald, logically assuming that some standard space disaster had befallen their fleet, sent another, this one with precautionary reconnaissance and messenger ships. Again, all was well up to the shielded space. The Gald, sure that the new fleet was safe from all but the strangest disasters, waited with bated breath for the return of the messenger ships.

The first one came back early, not only with a report from the fleet (no notable planets had been found yet, other than twelve deathworlds. The fleet continued its search for Earth), but with cargo. That was unexpected, to say the least. The messenger ships had been intended to fly back and forth across the shield, transmitting messages from one side to the other. That one had been used instead to transfer what looked like an derelict satellite meant that, whatever was on that satellite, it was worth looking in to.
The satellite proved a welcome distraction from waiting for the return of the second fleet. It had turned out to be an old mining surveyor, sent into what would become Earthspace mere ertd before the humans entered the Great Unity. It had been destroyed - they couldn’t tell by what - only twelve Human cycles before said entrance.

Excitedly, the Gald searched the recorded scans from the surveyor for images of Earth. It only took them a few hundred false positives - deathworlds and wastelands all - before they found it. A world, extremely high in water content, of substandard gravity. Cloaked, seemingly unintentionally, in a cacophony of electromagnetic signals, the world had all the readouts of a near-spacefaring race. The Gald, elated at their discovery of Earth’s exact location (what kind of planet hides themselves in the exact center of the protective shielding?), sent the messenger ship back across, with new commands for the fleet.

There was no response. The second fleet had, somehow, vanished.

Frustrated now, the Gald sent a proper fleet for the third time, targeting the exact location of their quarry. Armed with the most formidable equipment the Great Unity (home to almost a thousand intelligent warlike species) had to offer, and with a borderline-forbidden Breacher signal processing unit that would allow them to transmit past the shielding back to their home planet, they closed in.

Everything was going well - the invasion force was actually feeling a bit pointless - when they reached the first field of wreckages. They stopped for just long enough to check that there were no survivors of their fleet, and that there were no intact ships or weapon systems to harvest. It was when they reached the second fleet that they realized something might actually be wrong - these ships were perfectly bisected along the power cores, the corpses of their crew shot midfloat even as they died in the depressurization of space. But again, scans revealed no useful resources, personnel, or information about the opposing force.

By then the crews had begun to mutter. Nobody had any idea of what could have done all of this - the technology was far beyond that of the rest of the Great Unity. Some said that it was a rogue member of the Great Unity who had gotten there first. Others said that it was even a species from outside the known, who was trying to infiltrate the Great Unity through their physically weakest link. Either way, the mission of the Gald shifted in a new direction: save the humans from this strange new threat. The fact that doing so would net them the secrets of Earth was simply a bonus to a glorious war.

The high command glinted at that - it was a political win/win from something that they had expected to bring them only hatred. As the Gald, weapons primed against the unknown threat, passed into the solar system that Earth was supposed to be located in, they began to broadcast their oncoming victory across the universe. Every member of the Great Unity guiltily watched, greedy for the final answer to the Question of Earth.
The Gald passed the star that Earth circled. They counted planets our from the center, pausing when they got to the third nearest. It wasn’t Earth. Or at least, it didn’t look like it. There were no towering cities of light, nor were there full monasteries of inspiration. There were no massive tracts of wildlife, no “forests”, no poles of ice, no massive mountains. Even the water, which had before been one of the natural wonders of this world according to the mining satellite, had vanished, leaving the continents indistinguishable from the sea floor.
Horror and sadness filled the galaxy - clearly whatever had destroyed the Gald fleets had also smote the Earth into oblivion, leaving slag where there were once mountains, and radioactive craters where the satellite showed had once been glorious cities.

It was while the Gald drifted in shock that the armada appeared, dropping cloaks unlike anything the Great Unity had ever seen before unleashing whirlwinds of light and kinetics upon the unfortunate war fleet.

The signal cut off. Silently - so as not to alarm the human colonies, who had, of course, not watched - the myriad worlds of the Great Unity came to a consensus. They would keep this horrendous act of violence from the Humans for as long as possible. They would arm themselves, surrounding Earthspace with the best and brightest of every militant force the Great Unity had to offer. And they would study every recorded trace of the Gald transmission until they knew everything possible about those monstrous destroyers who came to be called the Worldbreakers.

Several erdt passed, with no trace of the Worldbreakers. Another fleet, armed again with a Breacher, was sent into Earthspace. They didn’t last long.

A pattern developed, over time. A fleet would go in, armed with the newest equipment, often technology inspired by their very foes. They would briefly be able to scan Earth and the neighboring systems, often places with even more melted planets, before being extinguished by the Worldbreakers. It happened again and again. The newest of weapons would be blocked with shields specifically designed against their unique energy signatures. The most outlandish of strategies was outdone as if textbook. Nothing could phase the Worldbreakers; it became clear that they had played at war at extremes beyond the imaginations of even the sadistic Denwim.

The Worldbreakers became a common component of human-free discussions. Cults formed around them, both worshipping their undefeated might and fearing the eventuality that they would notice the rest of the intelligent universe. And then the day came. The day that turned everything around. It was a combination of three simultaneous events, between an obsessive astronomical historian, a lab treating a Human child for brain damage, and a student’s analysis of the Gald transmissions.

The historian was comparing old electromagnetic transmission records to the current species database, to track how many near-spaceflight species actually developed it and entered the Great Unity. It was quite surprised when it found a plethora of electromagnetic records, all obviously from different species, from all across what became Earthspace. It wondered to its colleagues what could have happened to seventy-three distinct species that would leave no trace of their civilization. No disaster they could imagine would have allowed the survival of only the Humans, a race too fragile to survive much of their own planet, much less interstellar catastrophes.

The doctor who headed up the lab was doing routine lobe simulations, checking that each repaired part of the Human child’s brain worked as properly. He was quite interested in this, as Humans generally performed their own operations, and the Human brain was largely a mystery to most of the universe. He was hoping for some distinctive part that would explain Humanity’s artistic skills, so his simulations were very in depth.

One can imagine his surprise when, instead of symmetry and resonance being the core of the Human biopsychological makeup, his simulation showed little other than pure, unadulterated aggression and greed. Uncertain, he ran it again. And again. Then he called the other interspecies doctors he knew to have them replicate the results. It was confirmed - Humans, the race so famous for hating the mere thought of conflict, was at its core the most hateful species the Great Unity possessed, orders of magnitude worse than the Gald.

And the student’s work sealed the matter. In a thermometric readout of the planets destroyed by the Worldbreakers, she found that, according to standard interplanetary cooling formulas, the Earth had to have been destroyed long ago, before even the Humans reached out to the Great Unity to ask for privacy. Unity laws prevented locations with signs of unknown species from being placed under electromagnetic shielding and social quarantine, so the Worldbreakers couldn’t have been there to destroy Earth before the shield was placed. The paradox did not lend itself at all to any known theories.

The logic was clear. Even the hive minds agreed. Humanity was not the docile race of scholars and artists that they appeared. Nor were they shy about their homeworld. Not shy, but paranoid. Sensibly paranoid that, should the Great Unity discover their war-torn past, that they had not only destroyed at least seventy-three sentient species but also their own planet in the short time between when they had developed space flight and joined the Great Unity, the other members would have either fled or tried and failed to exterminate them. So they went with their other option - beauty. They hid their ugliness under a veil of wonder, only sending their unstoppable armada after those who came close to finding out their secret past.

The understanding rocked the galaxy. Nobody sane had even contemplated this before, that one species could appear so innocent and yet be so terrifying. Their worlds would never be the same.

Despite all of this, little to nothing changed for the Humans. Aliens still came from all over to view their work, even if they now did it with apprehension. Scholars still appreciated their mystery, perhaps all the more.

And, of course, the unofficial rule that the topic of violence was never, ever to be breached while Humans were in contact suddenly became a lot more official.

Tl;dr: Humans are the super shy aliens. Too bad. It’s always the quiet ones.

I remember the war with humanity. It was our first and last mistake, the last war of the Dryzal, the war that destroyed us.

I was barely a hatchling at the time the war started, barely old enough to understand what the politicians were saying never mind understand the intricacies of intergalactic politics. It was some dispute about colonization rights. Something trivial and unimportant. But something we foolishly thought was that destroying a human vessel was worth it.

I remember the first days of the war. The propaganda on the vid screens. The pictures of our soldiers on the front lines winning victory after victory. The comparison of the primitive human weapons to our advanced technology. They showed us bedraggled human prisoners after they surrendered. Made them read statements of aggression and war guilt for the news feeds. But those vids never told us that for every one human we killed they killed ten of us.

We took the world’s we wanted, then got greedy and took some more. The humans were professionals, but we had numbers. City after city fell beneath our guns, enslaved human populations churned out weapons for use on their own kind. But even as we broke their fleet at K'lizzan, sent their ships into that dying star, we realized we were loosing.

Every world we took, they made us pay in tenfold. They sent assassins behind our lines to kill our leaders, small units of soldiers to sabotage our factories. We learned that we had stretched ourselves too thin against an enemy that refused to loose.

We fell back with nowhere left to go. The only worlds left were ours. I watched as the humans scattered our fleets in the upper atmosphere, the burning husks of our ships filling the skies. The smell of ozone as an orbital Lance annihilated a military base not 10 kilometers from where I stood. The look of shame as the grand council transmitted our complete and utter surrender.

And I remember too, the first time I saw a human, tall and upright, a giant of muscle and bone, the eyes of a predator on the hunt. I remember him gesturing me over to him and the certainty of my death filling my mind. I was a child but I was prepared to die for the Dryzal. A sacrifice to allow the humans to take their fully justified revenge upon us.

And I remember my first taste of the chocolate bar he gave me.

The human revenge was total. From the ruins they built schools and roads. Hospitals and sanitation plants. The human engineer brought running water free of parasites to my family’s stack for the first time. They inoculated us against diseases the council had never bothered to cure. They wrought revenge with words we’d never heard. Democracy, Freedom, Brotherhood. They wrought it in the form of Human Rights, and most powerfully of all… forgiveness.

And their revenge was total. Within 10 years human children and Dryzal were playing together on the fields outside of school. In 15 they were fighting side by side against the Shuluman.

40 years from the day the humans landed on our worlds and the Dryzal no longer exist. Admitted to humanity, nominated by Terrans and approved by a unanimous decision of the human parliament, the 6th species to gain such an honor. The Dryzal no longer exist, but humanity grew stronger.

Yes I remember our war with humanity. Our last and best mistake.

-President Steven X'Lilli of the Dryzal, giving a speech celebrating the 20th anniversary of the Dryzal’s admittance to Humanity

tygermama  asked:

Are there any fic out there where Baze Malbus is basically the Wolverine of the Star Wars universe and everywhere he goes, he ends up with a new young lady to teach the art of being grumpy and kicking ass too? Cause I think there should be

Oh god so I may… have started writing a thing?

Baze wakes up, which is the first surprise. The second comes at the feel of desert under him, similar but wholly different to the sands of Scarif. For an overwhelming second he thinks he’s back on Jedha, but he knows Jedha’s land in the very core of him, and this isn’t it. This is something very different.

It takes him the whole of the suns trek across the sky to learn just how much.

Niima Outpost is small, ragged, and untrusting. But it does have water. Foul, sour water, but water nonetheless. Baze has had worse. It also has information, which Base finds infinitely harder to stomach.

It takes him a while to understand what the wrinkled stall-holder is telling him—he’s somehow skipped not only years but an epoch—but in the end it’s clear. Or as clear as it can be. Because while almost three decades seem to have passed, they’ve also passed him by. The face looking back from the burnished metal plate behind the stall-holder is no older than the one that fled Jedha’s destruction. His knees certainly don’t feel the weight of his lost time.

That first night is spent mostly sleepless, his back to a wall and head spinning with his circumstance. His hands feel too empty in his lap, missing the reassuring weight of his repeater canon like a lost limb. He can’t help but curse whatever power—the Force, his head whispers traitorously even as he growls it into silence—transported him here for not bringing his firepower with him. It would have made earning passage off Jakku easier.

Which is what he must do. Because if he’s here, the burning sands of Scarif already fading into memory, he must believe that somewhere out in this future galaxy, Chirrut is as well. And if nothing else in this new time is familiar, the need to find his way back to his husband very much is.

- - -

He wakes to find a dusty, waif of a girl trying to pick his pockets. This goes about as well as expected. Even as he grabs her Baze feels a sharp pang of nostalgia for the streets of Jedha where the urchins knew well enough to avoid him, even if the worst they ever faced was a hot meal and Chirrut’s calm education on the difference between assassins and tourists. Not that he is much of either right now, out of time as he is.

The girl twists and hisses in his grip like a feral tooka and Baze has to work at making sure he doesn’t accidentally snap her toothpick of a wrist as he rises to his feet.

“Stop that,” he says mildly, not very surprised when that just gets him a feral growl and renewed thrashing. Baze rolls his eyes and lifts the girl into the air until she tires herself out. It doesn’t take long. The rags she’s wearing do nothing to hide the lack of meat on her bones.

“Are you finished?” he says after she goes limp, hanging like a particularly angular vine in his grip.

A second, and then finally a nod.

Baze lowers the creature to the ground and is unsurprised when she takes the opportunity to scarper. The kick to the groin however…

Baze groans as he slowly unfolds himself. The girl has disappeared into the growing rush of the early-morning market. Baze would curse her if he weren’t so very mildly impressed.

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Humans are Wierd Tale

“The planet Txar has been on civil war since long before the Galactic Union discovered their existence. The Txarian sentient species, Ky.rroc are hermaphrodites around two hundred fifty centimeter high and a hundred thirty kilograms heavy. Their skin is even thicker than steel, almost an exoskeleton, and their musculature so strong they are able to carry twice their own weight. The first commandant to ever see one described xe as a kill machine.”

As Commandant Lou’tt spoke about my own species all I could see was fear on the eyes of the various aliens around. By pure luck my ancestors have reached the G.U. before the Kishemern. As soon as the commander called my people kill machines a tiny creature, using a spacesuit, “for safety purposes”,  raised xis hand.

- Human Gabriel, for the hundredth time. - The Commandant spoke with impatience - If you want to ask something, you can just talk. No need to wait to a officer allow you to.

- Right, Lou. - The “human” looked to xir superior - That commandant has ever been on Terra? I mean, do you really call those kill machines?

I looked into the tiny creature eyes. I could see the predator within, although it was hidden behind childish laughter, fake peace and self hatred. The thing the G.U. never found out about the Ky.rroc was how extreme are our predatory senses, barely mind reading.

- How many generations have passed since your kind last seen war, Human? - I saw the crew shaking out of fear again, but the human retributed my look, showing xis teeth, not as sharp as mine, far from threatening, but a clear challenge. - I guess your kind have outcame hunt, halfway mutated into herbivores. How you dare calling the proud Jug.dymak of the Kr.rroc not a killing machine.

- Yrillis-6, Txar is called a Death World by the Union, I’ll give you that. - The human howled that offense - A Class Two Death World. - Xis voice had no fear, xis eyes started glowing with excitement -  I am from Sol-3, Terra the only Class Six Death World that is inhibited.

“I can survive temperatures below freezing, and halfway boiling. Most poison are ineffective against my kind, and many of those that are we use for fun. We are able to mimic any species cries or languages. Humans are know for bonding with any living thing, and many non-living to. You ask how many generations we have since we last saw war? There are some happening right now, using titanium piercing ammo, incendiary cluster bombs, nuclear friction grenades

“And you wonder why ain’t I afraid of the Ky.rroc? My own body is a lethal bioweapon to your species. My breath carries microorganisms that can kill you, not to talk about those that live only inside of me, my fluids are acid to your skin. You may kill me, but my corpse alone can slay one of your cities.”

- I am a proud child of Sol-3, a son of Terra.  - Xis eyes sparkled, predatory, as no being ever was - I was named Gabriel Thanatos, names that symbolize the guardian angel and the death. As my father said, what Humanity are.

I felt then what those crew members did. Fear, an emotion I only knew throughout my prey. I fell for my knees, impotent as I understood why that monster had so much laughter, fake peace and self hatred. Xe was preventing xiself from feeling power hunger, megalomania and bloodlust.

- Always keep a Terran around, Ky.rooc Jug.dymak. - The commandment said as the human walked away to the battlefield, unplugging his suit - After all, they are hard to kill, and harder not to love after a while.

Please feel free to add

Search for Humanity

Humanity. One of the biggest enigmas in our history. They disappeared into the memory of time leaving a giant hole where they once stood.

Their home world was lost in time that followed the great frenzy. A weaponized form of rabies virus created by the Rash'lic, an ancient enemy of the humans, was released into their biome. It was spread harmlessly by the humans through physical contact. When the virus was finally activated it drove the humans to a frothing, raging madness until their brains cooked in their skulls.

The council worlds, who had large populations of humans, were thrown into turmoil by the outbreak. It took only 10 years for the disease to sunder the majority of humanity. The council, now dealing with a crumbling supply chain and economy, turned their back on humanity to devote their resources to things they could salvage. In the following century humanity became a distant memory swept under the rug by peoples who wanted to forget their shame. Over the next 5 centuries humanity is almost reduced to myth… Until now.

I am writing this report from orbit around Sol 3. It took many years of searching dead ships and buried colonies to find the chart back to Earth.

When we arrived in orbit the planet had been almost completely reclaimed by nature. The once great human cities had crumbled to the ground leaving only a few steel skeletons dotting and eroding concrete paths marking the landscape. During our scans of the surface we found small energy signatures from old fission powered systems that had not burned out yet. Once we checked the atmosphere and got the green light we took a shuttle to the surface.

I must admit I was more excited about the expedition then I let on. To be the first sentient life on the home world of one of the most diverse species in the old council! I could barely control myself.

When set out to land on the continent of North America in the ruin of New York. After touchdown we immediately set up a defensive perimeter around the ship to protect from the legendary fauna of this planet.

We had been on the surface for a couple of Earth days before we realized we were not alone. After a group of us went to check one of the power signatures we came into a man made cave (I think they were called subways) when we were trapped. Both ends of the tunnel collapsed around our group. We began to panic when we heard a voice telling us to be silent. The part that grabbed my attention is it was said in the council tongue! Then my heart sank because I assumed pirates or slavers had set up camp here.

That was when the most extraordinary thing happened. A hatch opened above us and there was a human looking down at us! A human!!! I assumed I must have been hallucinating until the human female said again for us to be quiet.

We eventually complied. She asked what we were doing on their planet. One of the expedition members explained we were there looking for remanence of them. She responded crossly, “Why? The council already abandoned us when we needed them. What makes you think we want you here?”

I was deeply hurt by this remark. I had spent my entire life learning of the injustice done to humanity. Most of us here had. I tried to explain this but the woman just shook her head and dropped a rope down to us and walked away. Once we had climbed out of the tunnel we were escorted by the woman and three other humans to their settlement.

The humans were wearing garments that appeared to be hand made from old synthetic material and newer natural material. Their weapons however were outdated but fully functional gause rifles. They all seemed to be in good health despite their rugged appearance and two of the men were cleanly shaved.

When we reached the settlement we were told that it was a Doomsday shelter built when Humanity first went to war with the Rash'lic. The facility housed both cryogenicly frozen people and cloning technology in the case of an event such as the great frenzy. The system had been set up to keep these people in stasis until it seemed that humanity was no longer under threat then it would reanimate those frozen cryogenicly then they could complete the cloning process for all the others and be able to educate and raise the children.

That event took place 200 years ago and the humans had converted the facility into a small town. They had people farming and starting domesticating new livestock as well as hunters and foragers out collecting food and supplies.

When we were brought to their leader he explained that there were a few hundred of these facilities that were operational around the world with a total population of just over 2 million people.

When I asked if there was anything he needed he just smiled and said, “No, we survived our extinction without your help. We will retake our world without your help. Then when we are ready to claim the stars we will do it without your help.

"You are free to observe our progress but do not interfere. Humanity has a very large chip on its shoulder and we show the council what it has lost. We have already recovered from extinction once. Keep that in mind”

After this we were escorted back to our ship. We left the planet and then orbit soon after. Once we reported our findings fear spread across council space. There are still written records of what happened to the races who crossed humanity. The last thing the council needed was to get any more on the bad side of a race that seems to be impossible to exterminate. They decided to monitor humanity from a distance until further notice.

In the Vietnam War, for example, the picture most people had was of middle-class radicals, the New Left, fighting against the war and the hard-hats supporting it and beating up the antiwar students. Yet more war production was stopped by workers carrying on ordinary strikes in the course of their lives in the plants than by the whole antiwar movement put together. There were strikes at Olin-Matheson, which made munitions, at McDonnell-Douglas, which made fighter planes, on the Missouri Pacific railroad, which transported war materials for shipment from the Pacific coast. In a few instances, strikes lasted a couple of weeks, and the shortage of planes and war material reached the point where the Johnson administration was getting ready to take over the plants to stop the strikes. 

This was not because the workers were anti-war. Many workers were, but many weren’t. What the workers were doing was trying to live as human beings in the process of production. It is important to understand two things about working-class struggle. First, it is an inherent necessity and takes place all the time whether the means are socially approved or not. And second, the bourgeoisie is constantly aware of that fact, and the related potential for major social upheaval, and goes to great lengths to protect against it, to derail it, and to prevent it.

—  Martin Glaberman
The Salt War

First session of Pathfinder.  I’m GM and my players are a Half-Elf Wizard, a Human Fighter, and an Elf Ranger.  The Wizard and the Ranger are on the deck of a ship and the Fighter, with her Int of 7, is wandering around belowdecks.

Me (to Fighter): You pass through the cargo hold and come across the storeroom.  It looks like this is where all of the ship supplies are held, like food, water, and extra sails.  That sort of thing.  Roll a Perception check.

Fighter: I rolled a 5.

Me: Okay.  Everything in here looks like it’s on the up and up…except that one barrel, the one closest to the door, looks like it’s out of place or that someone has messed with it.

Fighter: I punch the barrel.  (She punches the barrel, which cracks it partly open, to find it full of salt.)  I bet there’s something in there.  I dig through the salt to find it.

Me after a moment: You get to the bottom and you find…nothing but salt.

Fighter: Curse you, salt!  You and your hidden mysteries!  I will crush you and find your truths!

Ranger (OOC): The Salt War has begun!


modern gods  → ares

after a millennia filled with endless bloodshed, ares has found himself tiring of war. he picks up the odd job as a hit man here and there, going through the motions for the sake of it, but he hasn’t set foot on a battlefield in over a century.

Humans are weird (and diplomatic)

I’ve been reading so much of these post, and I have this idea that’s on the back of my mind. No one ever really graced the idea of what the Human government in space would be.

The humans are a respected species, well known for their curiosity, resilience, and all around outstanding and unbelievable nature.

But when they formed the Human Galactic Government no one really believed they could be real politicians. At that point, humans were only really just crewmates or other civilians. Sure they had colonies but the only real government they had was of Earth and Earth alone.

The first few years of the new organization was rocky, no one wanted to hear what they had to say because they were still considered as “Crewmates”.

The organization was mostly peaceful, preferring to end the conflict through diplomatic means. Other species were surprised that a species from a planet so harsh and inhabitable by their standards are so peaceful.

After just a decade, the Human Galactic Government has become a well-respected part of the Council, the final jurisdiction of something is not complete without the representative of the humans speaking.

But the moment one of the most feared species of the galaxy pissed them off. It was not a time people like to remember.

The Ziglaks were sending threats of war to any and all that they can find. The Ziglaks are a terrifying bunch, they can subdue any other species, but they have not seen or heard what Humans are like. They didn’t know.

All other species were rushing to form an army that can withstand only 200 of Ziglak Infantry. Humans, however, didn’t know about the Ziglak and believed that they could be reasoned with, but the moment the Ziglaks happened upon the first ever colony Earth had established and attacked. They crossed the line.

Humans declared war, and everyone was too scared to join forces, they only wanted to defend themselves.

Their only counterattack was a platoon of ships and crew. The battle was everywhere it could be broadcasted, no one missed a thing of the action.

The Ziglaks weren’t much for strategies, their tactic is just to hit em and hit em hard. Humans, however, are smart as other species noted. The platoon used very complex maneuvers and constantly changing strategies, making sure the enemy never knows when and how they were going to hit. Not even the supposed best pilots and generals could’ve done or thought of this.

The battle raged on for only one year, and since the Humans had no real proper military they just kept training and sending out platoons, makes the battle even more terrifying.

Species were saying “They’re gonna die.” “They have no chance.” And yet, they won. The Ziglaks were panicking, they had never lost to any species before!

And as the General of the Ziglak Army is cornered, he blurted out “WHAT ARE YOU?!”, with a grin the Human commander said “Haven’t you heard? We’re Space Australians. I order you to stand down and retreat to where you came. And remember. Hell hath no fury like an angered Human.”

Scared to even ask what the hell that means, the general complied and retreated.

Humans are now more respected than anyone in the galaxy, but Council members still chant “Hell hath no fury like an angered human.” Even though they didn’t know what it meant, they still chant it as a reminder that Humans are not to be trifled with.

Like a Virgin: an A-Z of concept literature

Want to explore a concept, literary style or period? Not sure where to start? Here are books to touch you for the very first time.

A - Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. Laissez-faire capitalism is the answer to everything.

B - Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. Alienating effects of a society in which humans are treated as mere resources.

C - The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx. What is this socialism of which they speak? This pamphlet explains.

D - Dubliners by James Joyce. Modernist short story collection on the human condition.

E - The Elements of Style by William Strunk Jr. How to write reel purty.

F - The Female Eunuch by Germaine Greer. 70s identity politics classic given to odd rants and wobbly logic. Bring a mirror.

G - Gravity’s Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon. Almost nobody’s read it, and nobody likes the people who have.

H - The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood. Gender divides and fundamentalism are bad for everyone.

I - I Capture The Castle by Dodie Smith. Life with an eccentric 1930s English family isn’t a bowl of cherries.

J - Jeeves and Wooster by PG Wodehouse. Why so serious? Fun, fast-paced and hilarious adventures of a toff and his butler.

K - Kiss of the Spider Woman by Manuel Puig. Two people in a cell in 1970s Argentina fight to stay sane and alive. Postmodern, but in a good way.

L - The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula LeGuin. Intrigue and adventure on a world in which almost no one has a fixed gender.

M - Monkey (or Journey to the West) by Wu Cheng'en. The comic adventures of a monk and his folkloric companions as they travel west to retrieve the sutras which will save China from immorality.

N - Northern Lights by Phillip Pullman. The anti-Narnia trilogy on why religion is bad.

O - Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. Human nature meets loneliness and depression-era capitalism.

P - The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. The life of a libertine, to be read on the surface and between the lines.

Q - The Qur'an (or Koran). Take the first step in understanding the cultural influence of this 7th century contribution to the Abrahamic faiths by reading the original.

R - A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf. Short treatise on how the burden of unpaid domestic labour impacts the artist.

S - Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut. Why war is stupid, from someone who knows.

T - Titus Groan by Mervyn Peake. This baroque fantasy, with its lush prose and weird cast makes David Lynch seem vanilla.

U - Utopia by Thomas More. 16th century sci-fi set on an island and examining what a progressive society might look like.

V - A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan. This won the Pulitzer. Why? No one knows. Read this to learn how out-of-touch the establishment truly is.

W - Watership Down by Richard Adams. If you’ve never wept over the fate of rabbits, start now.

X - Sonnet XXV by Bill Shakespeare. A modest, cheerful sonnet reminding us love is better than glory.

Y - The Yellow Wall-paper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. Novella featuring a woman driven mad by a rest cure, a decorative scheme, and the patriarchy.

Z - Thus Spake Zarathustra by Nietzsche. Just kidding. Don’t read Nietzsche.