first nigga

Let me tell y'all how my nigga Michael Jackson smooth af

First this nigga skips up the stairs like its a jolly day until he see this black fine ass woman who he caress. She then steal money out his pocket & he don’t give af cuz this nigga rich af. He spins off like a real G, goes upstairs & see a girl get slapped. He let’s the dude get away cuz Michael know he ain’t going nowhere in this little ass club. Then these two dudes try Michael, and Michael hit one dude with an elbow (yes an elbow), & some girl who want the d hit the other guy for Mike. 

Michael turns around and tries to holla at these girls and give them a chance before he blow this nigga behind him up out the club, but these women are too scared and obviously don’t know nothing about MJ. THEN THIS NIGGA PULLS OUT HIS GUN SHOOTS THE DUDE BEHIND HIM WHILE STILL LOOKING AT THE GIRLS….(like I already know the man was behind me but y'all missed the chance to get this d) 

WAIT THIS IS THE BEST PART…. Michael walks up to the man outline in the wall and does a hand gesture like “didn’t they tell you I was a savage, ” .He walks off and says “YOU'VE BEEN HIT BY A SMOOTH CRIMINAL” and got the whole club in sync. Tell me that ain’t smooth 👏👏👏👏

bwoosy  asked:

why do you and a lot of other artists draw godzilla green cos from what i can tell that nigga ain't green

well I mean … there was one time where I didn’t make him green

also that’s the first time I’ve heard anyone say “that nigga ain’t green” when referring to Godzilla

The police asked the nigga on First 48 where he was between 5 & 6 he said Kindergarten๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

anonymous asked:

college advice pls

girlllll i got you

1. don’t go fucking crazy bc this your first time at freedom

2. talk to a lot of different people, the ones who will be your closest friends will reveal themselves

3. if someone is toxic, cut them IMMEDIATELY. there’s too many people at school for you to deal will bullshit. and if you keep the negativity away you’re going to be left with an amazing group of friends💞💞💞

4. try not to fuck anyone in the first month or two. niggas are trying to fuck anything they can get and you’ll never get to know what someone is about in such a short time

5. go to class. participation points can make or break an A

6. study continually. keep your books and notes open on your desk and study throughout the day casually. instead of doing it all at once/every few days.

7. bro use a fucking planner. as soon as you get the syllabus the first day of classes, write all due dates down and make it cute and neat.

8. go to events !!! go to parties, campus events, club meeting, alldat. and if you trying to cross into a sorority be at EVERY event they have. this how you make ya friends and get good opportunities.

9. try for internships and leadership opportunities. they will only lead to more

10. don’t blow your classes bc it will be hard to bounce back your gpa and you need to maintain a specific gpa to get financial aid and scholarships

11. apply for financial aid and scholarships. and when you know your tuition is due, tell your parents all the due dates (if they’re providing financially for your education)

12. try to find roommates that you’ll click with. i found mine on twitter and she’s one of my best friends now. and make sure y'all communicate. if you’re sharing an area with someone else there needs to be boundaries so that a falling out does not occur (me and my roommate didn’t speak for a month at one point lmaooo)

13. if a boy is trying to run games on you drop him. sure you like him but it really is not worth the stress. once again, there are too many people for you to be worried about one shitty boy who won’t act right

14. male friends are so important !! they will always look out for you and plus you can see the way they treat girls and it’ll help keep your focus right

15. you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. want to go to class in pajamas? do it. don’t feel like putting on makeup? don’t. wanna get fucked up tonight? go get fucked up responsibly. it really doesn’t matter. hell at one point i was going to concerts once a week by myself just because i could.

16. sit at the front of your classes and not with friends, it will motivate you to stay focus and show up bc the professor will recognize your face.

17. it’s okay to detach sometimes and do things on your own. eat alone, take walks alone, have self care times. it’s all important so don’t feel obligated to do something when you just want to disconnect.

18. if you are having sex, there is always free hiv testing somewhere on campus. get tested and fr have safe sex

19. if you can do tests/quizzes on you own computer then cheat. google the answers, a quizlet should pop up lmao

20. save ya money. don’t ball out at the mall once a week bro. save that shit you never know what can happen + the money you save could go towards a vacation w friends for spring break

21. learn how to do your own protective hairstyles. instead of spending $140 learn how to braid ya hair and only spend money on the hair. and also has hair does not have to be poppin all the time, it’s okay.

22. pack two pairs of heels and a few nice dresses. there’s always formal events on campus.

23. have fun and study hard. figure out what your balance is so that you can get fucked up every other night and still make A’s :)

The Go-Off


As I stood there appalled that this bitch really just disrespected me like that to my face, I had time to refer back to the source of who I was really most upset with at the moment. Oh trust me, me and that hoe gon’ have our day, but right now.. I’m finna rip Stefon’s ass a new one. I marched my hormonal ass into the kitchen as Tati followed behind me. Stefon was still on the phone handling business so I instructed Tatiana to go play with her toys in the backyard. I paced in the space surrounding him, hot as hell! He knew his ass was finna get it too by the way he carried on his phone call. Every second longer that he stayed on the phone, the more my temperature rose. My lips were pressed together as my tongue moved anxiously around my gums. 

Finally I made eye contact with him and pointed to my invisible watch on my wrist signaling him to hurry the fuck up. And when he hung up that phone.. I was ready to slap him with it.

 "The fuck is wrong with you?“ He asked looking at me crazy.

Shocked that this nigga really just asked me that, I took a step back and inhaled as my mouth begin to explode.


“Ahh shit here you go! Actin a fuckin fool B.“ 

 "You muthafuckin right I’m actin a fool nigga. And you lucky I don’t go upside your muthafuckin head! Tellin that bitch my business.. So what?? Y'all gossiping now?? Why the fuck she know my business Stefon? Huh? Why?” I asked stepping closer to him and moving my head in the directions he moved his.

 "When we was goin through all that shit a couple weeks ago.. She was fuckin there. She knew somethin was up and she asked me, so yeah I fuckin told her.“

 "So the whole time you should’ve been communicatin with me you was talkin to her? YOU SHOULD’VE BEEN TALKING TO ME! Making me ‘ya girl’ feel like shit for something I had no control over. You dead wrong for that Stefon. And here I been, tip-toeing around your little insignificant ass feelings, meanwhile you spilling ya guts to that bitch. I’M your girlfriend, you fuckin talk to me. And that bitch really just disrespected me with the information that you opened your big mouth and told her. She should’ve been the last to know but yet she’s the first. I haven’t even told my own family yet because I didn’t know how you felt about having another child. So I kept my shit on the hush. Well let me tell you something, I’m keeping my fuckin child, and you, you gonna treat him or her how you treat Tatiana whether you like it or not nigga.”

His eyes were big in shock because the entirety of our relationship I’ve never spoken to him like this. He was quiet for a moment, reflecting on the words I said. 

 "Oh so what now you mute?? You don’t have shit to say? That’s fine. Fuck you. I’m gone!“ I said grabbing my keys and my phone on the counter.

 As I began to walk off my original thought came back as I looked down at my key ring. 

"Oh yeah and that brings me back to my original question. WHY THE FUCK DOES THAT BITCH HAVE A KEY?” I asked slowing each word down to its syllable. 

 "I gave it to her. It’s my fuckin house.“ 

 "Okay nigga. Well you can take this one back then because I don’t want it anymore. If you can sit up here and let her disrespect me even more, we don’t need to be together.” I said throwing my key back at his chest. All he could do was just stand there looking stupid as I gathered my things. I knew he regretted what he did but his fucking ego. He followed me as I began to walk towards the door, not too far behind me. I turned around and looked at him again. He turned his head with his hands in his pockets.

 “So you don’t have anything else to say?” I asked before making my exit.

 "You said it all Kala. Ain’t shit left for me to say.“

 "You right. Leave me alone from this point on. Don’t come by my place. Don’t fuckin call me. I’ll let you know when your child is born." 

"You being so extra right now Kala.”

 "I don’t give a shit. You should’ve been being extra and maybe your ass wouldn’t be gettin left. Should’ve been taking care of me, talking to me, consoling me. Instead you was chatting it up and giving keys to your ex bitch.“ 

 "Man whatever Kala.”

 I stood there and looked at him for a second giving him one last chance to apologize. He couldn’t even keep eye contact because he knew he was wrong.I shook my head and walked out the door. I got in my car and drove a mile down the road before I pulled over and just bawled trying to accept the fact that our relationship is officially over and I’m going to be a twenty-two year old single mother.


if a nigga really want to fuck with you, he would. bitches be going crazy for a nigga that don’t give a fuck about them. it’s lowkey because they don’t give a fuck about themselves. love yourself first shawty. fuck these niggas. fuck these bitches too, my nigga. if you fuck with you then you wouldn’t give a fuck about who don’t fuck with you. everybody just want something from you anyways.