Vanilla twilight (hehe): If you wrote a ‘concept’ post about your dream future in your dream home what would it say?
Concept: I’m sitting in my expansive, fairytale library by the cozy fireside, reading my favourite novels. My dogs all crowd around me happily as I read aloud to them. There is hot chocolate with marshmallows on the table next to me. The sun is shining and the birds are chirping. All my friends live in the neighborhood and come around regularly. I’m finally at peace.
Did you ever pull any office pranks on Jefferson while in office?
Oh BOY did I. *cracks knuckles*
There was the whoopee-cushion right when he stood up to discuss methane emissions, which I thought was pretty clever on my part - oh, and the time I drew a dick on his face when Washington forced us to stay in the same room on a trip down to Washington DC, but I think my favourite time was the one where I added six tablespoons of chilli powder to his plain-ass mac and cheese before a cabinet meeting.
You know, just to give it a bit of flavor.
You see, the thing about this particular chilli powder is that it doesn’t hit you straight away, and of course Thomas takes his macaroni into meetings because he’s a fucking weird ass. So we’re halfway through the meeting, I’ve just made a BOMBTASTIC SPEECH and I see him reach under his chair for the tupperware pot (and probably actual pot too, if you know Thomas) and I know that shit’s about to go DOWN. He takes a spoonful and stands up to start speaking, gets three words in (some bullshit about lowering taxes for rich people or whatever) and I see it happen. It goes straight to his eyes, they’re watering and he’s still trying to speak, I’m sat smirking at the back and he looks at me with eyes like I’ve murdered his daughter and handed him her body.
He next tries to nonchalantly take a sip of his water, unsuccessfully, obviously, because I’m not stupid, obviously I emptied his glass as part of the preparations. His face is so red by this point that I’m not entirely sure if he’s at risk of actually exploding, but I watch anyway because that’d be pretty funny too.
Anyway, he’s gone at this point from making death-glares at me to crazy eyes at Madison, trying to “subtly” tell him to get him some water (including questionable hand movements), when finally he absolutely BLOWS UP. He lets out a hoarse screech of “SOMEBODY GET ME SOME GODDAMN WATER” and now obviously Washington is staring at HIM like he’s found him in bed with Martha, as Thomas lets out a final piercing scream of despair and legs it out of the room.