firered-4

Moemon FireRed: Part 4 “My Least Favorite Kind Of Grinding”

Well, we lost JOHN CENA and BIRB last time, so we have to roll with the remaining two, FRIDAY the Tailow and CARAMELL the Azurill. I spent a good amount of time whipping these suckers into shape- they’re my only two other Pokemon, so if they fuck up then it’s game over for GRUMP. 

FRIDAY was easy enough to train, but as it turns out, CARAMELL is more annoying than the damn song they got their name from.

Do you see this shit? CARAMELL was eleven levels higher, and used a super effective move. It STILL couldn’t knock out a fucking Diglett. This thing is weaker than a white person’s taste buds. I’m terrified to send it into battle because it’ll get bitch slapped into oblivion the second it steps out.

In other news, during the many trips to the Pokemon center I made, I talked to some of the visitors. This asshole was such a dick about it I wanted to crane kick that phone right out of his clammy hands. Seriously, a simple “excuse me, I’m on the phone” would have sufficed, but he had to be an absolute prick about it.

Well at least you’re friendlier than the prickly phone guy, I guess.

Oh, shove off. I’ve changed my mind about you.

Dear Lord, no. I don’t want to give you any information that could let you find me again. I’m donion rings with these commoners. Back to level grinding.

After the hell of CARAMELL, I want to strangle the damn thing with his own tail. Whatever,let’s just take on Dwayne “The Brock” Johnson again.

Yeah, CARAMELL is frail as paper, but it turns out this Duskull doesn’t know any attacking moves except ghost type ones. So CARAMELL should be able to do this since it can’t get hurt. I mean, he did, but at what cost? It took about twenty turns because Duskull had Disable and would shut off my only attacking move, Bubble, every few turns. This is bullshit. I don’t know who makes me angrier, Duskull or CARAMELL.

FRIDAY took out the sinister Nidorina with no problem whatsoever. Unlike someone else on the team, she’s competent and carried the rest of the team through the battle like a bro.

Cool beans; I got the TM for Rock Tomb. That’s pretty neat. On to the next route! I need more Pokemon to fill out my team.

Now I can run? Why couldn’t I run before? Was I wearing high heels? Wooden clogs? I can only assume that is the case, in which case why didn’t I take off my shoes? I know wooden clogs are all the rage in Kanto, but at what cost?

After fighting some scrublords, it’s time to find my Route 3 catch. I’m having CARAMELL deal with it since FRIDAY is too strong.

HOLY SHIT! Now this is what I’m talking about- I want him. He’s mine. DON’T FUCK THIS UP, CARAMELL.

Once in the red zone, I switched to FRIDAY so she could take a few hits while I chucked balls. After just one ball, Bagon was caught. Now’s the fun part- naming. I think I’ll keep the name a secret until the next part. Becuase why the hell not?

I’m back in Pewter City, because it’s time for me to do some more grinding, and not even the fun kind. Bagon needs to get up to speed, and once he’s ready to hold is own, I’ll reveal his name and towards Mt. Moon.

Let’s hope I don’t throw CARAMELL off Mt. Moon by the end of the dungeon.