Please fire me. We had a safety meeting about never using power tools in the rain. The next day, as it rained, we were told to continue working using impact guns, power drills, and a couple of circular saws. When I complained about this, my boss told me that it wasn’t raining hard enough and when it starts pouring rain that they might reconsider.

Please fire me. I worked in an ice cream shop where a woman once got vanilla frozen yogurt for her 2 year old (despite our protests that the ice cream is much more popular with kids). After the kid tried to eat the yogurt with her hands, her mother asked if she could ‘return it’ because her daughter didn’t like it.

Please fire me. My boss sends me out for his personal errands such as laundry, shopping, and even taking his kids to soccer games. When I try to quit, he just says “Why aren’t you working? Get back to work.” Then shoves me out of his office.

Please fire me. I had the following conversation with my boss today:

Boss: “Why didn’t you ask me to order this?”

Me: “Because it doesn’t sell.”

Boss: “You should’ve told me anyway.”

Me: “You yell at me when I order things that don’t sell and now you’re yelling at me for not ordering things that don’t sell.”

Boss: “Jeff, you should’ve learned by now, I’m going to yell at you regardless.” 

Please fire me. I work in a convenience store that sells cigarettes. I am the only worker who doesn’t smoke. My boss informed me that I needed to start smoking so I can be more “helpful and informative” for the customers when they ask about the different brands. I thought she was joking til she gave me a pack of cigarettes when I clocked out.

Please fire me. Tongs that are used to handle customers’ food are dropped on the floor every 5 seconds and when I go to wash them, my coworkers tell me, “Don’t worry man, it’s McDonald’s, not some five-star restaurant.”