There was a time not all that long ago that I ended up playing with these two people who were apparently friends on Firebase Hydra. One of them was an Infiltrator who honestly wasn’t that good of a shot. They also had a tendency to camp halfway across the map in the infamous little corner that everyone knows about and couldn’t even be bothered to help anyone that wasn’t their friend. The other one was so forgettable the only reason I remember their existence at all is because of what a petty little shit their friend is.

So there I was, running around killing things and trying to survive, picking people up when I can. You know, playing as I usually do on Gold. Suddenly the forgettable one dropped on one of the waves. I was halfway across the other side of the map, and getting attacked by a horde of enemies besides. So of course I couldn’t get to them in time. I don’t remember if they got themselves up, or if their friend actually decided to get off their camp and pick them up.

What I do remember is that from then on their friend shoots at me with their Black Widow, rarely ever actually managing to hit me, with their best being 1 out of 3 shots. After the game they actually went as far as sending me a petty message about how I didn’t bother to pick up their friend, which I replied to. Telling them that I can only do so much when the map is so damn big, and that maybe they should save their clips for something that can actually die from their terrible aim.

Then I blocked them.

Ever since then, if I ever get the unfortunate luck of getting stuck in a game with them they do nothing but shoot at me, going so far as to completely ignore two Geth Primes shooting at the entire team because they couldn’t be assed to get over themselves for once.

Thankfully this rarely happens.

Sometimes I’ll shoot at them, but honestly I usually just let the enemies kill them for me. The Banshees are especially good at that.

I mean, sure I could save them with a Cobra Missile, but why would I want to when they’re such a liability?

Anyway, that’s my story of how I inadvertently ended up with an archenemy who can’t even kill me on Mass Effect 3 multiplayer.