fire disasters

You know the book it’s a good book when destroys your life.

Real advice

So a lot of you on here are teens and might be getting ready to be out on your own. Here are some things I learned the hard way or that are just good to know.

  • Never smoke or quit if you are currently. The cost of addictive smoking is more than half your groceries a month AND the bodily cost will surprise you.
  • Drink water. Yeah okay I know this one sucks but water is much much cheaper than soda, trust me. Your skin will thank you.
  • Send thank you cards. Don’t have any? Get the cheap ones and send those. It doesn’t matter how nice they are, the fact that you sent a thank you card matters. Send it for gifts, people calling you to check on you, those adults who helped you move, and even people who interview you.
  • Withhold 1. Okay so speaking of jobs, on your forms (US) where you are trying to figure out your tax withholding, put one. Yourself. It’s an easy way to make sure you don’t owe $2,000 in April and you still get a pretty decent check. 
  • No pets. If you don’t have a pet now, don’t get one. It’s super hard to get an apartment that will let you have a pet when you are first starting out. Wait until you are a bit older and can afford to rent more than a one bedroom apartment. 
  • Insurance. You’re young, so why do you need life insurance? Because that’s the best time to get it. Yeah, it’s a dumb expense to pay right now, but if you get it early, you can afford it. The longer you wait, the more expensive it is. Car insurance is going to be high for a few years, but it will drop around 22 and 25 years old. Health insurance usually comes through your job and please don’t ignore it. Renter’s insurance is usually pretty cheap and it covers you if there is a fire or natural disaster and you have to go back home to mom.
  • Off brand. This goes for food, clothing, makeup, and cleaning supplies and just about anything else you can think of. For food, Aldi’s is your best friend. I can go fill up a cart of just food and it will cost maybe $70. the same amount of food at Walmart is easily over $150. You can of course be picky, but try to get the majority of your food off brand. Hygiene products too. Goodwill is great for clothes, but plan a trip. Save like 60 bucks and drive near a big city where the rich people live. Go to the goodwill there. You can basically get an all new wardrobe for pennies on the dollar. Makeup is tricky. It can be really really expensive but you don’t really have to buy all of it name brand. Pick whats most important to you. I prefer eye shadows and lipsticks name brand and I deal with everything else from the drugstore. With he right techniques, you can make it look expensive. As for cleaning, I always use dollar tree stuff minus my laundry detergent because of allergies. Bleach, stain spray, and vinegar are gonna be your best friends,.
  • Car. Okay so yeah, that brand new car is nice and sure, maybe you can afford it. For now. Disaster will strike. Something will come up and bam, you’re stuck choosing if you want to walk everywhere or eat. Try getting a slightly used car, such as one of the ones they let people test drive a lot or a car that has previously been leased. Just as nice and much MUCH cheaper. And I have gotten THREE cars with no down payment so don’t let them tell you you can’t. But it is nice to put it down,even $100. 
  • Negotiate. Don’t be afraid to haggle with people. Yeah it’s intimidating but it’s 10 minutes of your life versus hundreds of dollars a year. What can you negotiate? Almost anything. Car payment. Rent. Insurance. Hospital bills. Even due dates for the bills you can’t negotiate on. Also, if something comes up where you have to skip a payment on something, call them. Give them like $25 and explain your situation. Ask if your payment date can be moved with the $25 as a goodwill promise to pay the rest later. It works. They would rather move your date than send you to collections. 
  • Collectors. Okay so this one is tricky. If you have fallen behind and owe a collector, don’t fret. I do too, even as I write this. Owing a collector means that the original service has been paid (health bills, credit card ect) and you are now paying the people who paid your bill. (I know it’s confusing) however, they will usually want the entirety of what they paid for you in 6 months. Meaning if they just paid a bill for you that was $3,000, they are gonna ask for $500 a month. That’s rent. That’s crazy. Tell them outright what you can afford and don’t lie about it either. If you can afford $100, tell them that. If you can afford $50, tell them that. If you can’t afford to pay them anything when they call you, let them know when you can. If you can’t afford it when you told them you could, don’t answer your phone to a number you don’t know. I know that sounds horrible but if you are renting an apartment, renting a car, and literally own nothing, they can’t do much to you. Just pay when you can and try to maybe pick up some extra shifts at work to make a payment. I have been dodging collectors for about three years. I owe I think three right now. I pay ONE of them a month, but it’s a large payment to keep them quiet for a while. I do not suggest this for you, I am just letting you know what I do.
  • Credit Cards. Okay, the big one. Many adults will tell you to never ever get a credit card and that’s just not feasible in this world. However, it can be addicting to be able to go to Walmart when you are negative in your bank account and get that $10 movie. I mean, it’s just 10 bucks right? WRONG. It will build up fast and soon the one credit card you have will be maxed. So you have to get another for emergencies. And another. And so on. So here’s my advice; Get a credit card through the same bank as your checking and tell them to put a limit on it and not let it raise. Then lock that sucker away and forget you have it until a real emergency comes up like a flat tire, short on money for groceries, or that collector that hasn’t been paid in 4 months. You can make it on one credit card if you are strict with your money, which I am sure you don’t have a lot of.
  • Budget. Speaking of money, write out a budget for yourself. Don’t know how? Here’s the easiest way. Most people get paid bi-weekly so here’s how to do it. Make two columns, Check 1 and Check 2. If you have a full time job you know about how much your checks are going to be so put the amount at the top of each column. Now that hard part - figure out what is due when. Is something due June 1st? Take it out of check 2 (end of May). Is something due May 14? Take it out of check 1 (beginning of May). That main thought process behind your budget is that you want to have the money for a bill set aside before it’s due. Paying a bill a few days early is a great way to make a good financial reputation for yourself and for some things even build credit. Now if you get paid bi-weekly, you will sometimes have a month where you get 3 checks. DON’T BLOW IT. Put it right back into your budget as Check 1 and keep the flow going. If you prepay bills, like your car or your rent or your credit card, and stay a month a head of those big ones, you may need that wiggle room later. If your car, for instance, is paid ahead 1 month, you can use the car money you would normally pay that month for maybe some extra groceries or some small emergency without using your credit card and you won’t even fall behind! You’ll just be back to owing every month instead of being ahead. It’s like a savings account without the temptation to blow the money. 
  • Simplicity. Enjoy simple things. A gym is expensive, go for a walk instead. Cable is expensive, pay for internet. Phones are expensive, get on a family plan (there is no shame in staying on your parent’s plan, just pay your share). Food is expensive, enjoy leftovers. Movies are expensive, go early and resist any snacks. Shopping is expensive, go to the mall and spend all day trying on cute clothes and taking selfes in the dressing room (makes you feel like a million bucks sometimes!). Time is expensive because you don’t have a lot of it so If you want to stay in bed all day on your day off, do it. If you want to binge on your day off, do it. If you want to just play board games with friends on a Saturday night with a few beers, do it. Simple fun is way better for your pocket and your anxiety.
  • Mental Health  - speaking of anxiety, make sure you take care of your brain. Go outside, even if it means sitting on your steps. Wake up early, even for just an hour. Don’t burn yourself out at work or school because you will suffer the consequences. Make a schedule. If you have trouble with timekeeping, ask for help. If you feel you do have a real mental disorder, see if your employer has what’s called and EAP program (employee assistance program). They usually help you find a mental health provider and give you a few visits for free. This will help you narrow down what exactly you have and after you’re free visits are up you can see who is in your health insurance network that can provide you the mental care you need. if you are prescribed drugs, always get generic. If there is no generic, ask for an alternative. I will not lie to you, mental health is the hardest thing to treat. It took me 8 years and a lot of money to figure out the right medication cocktail for me and my bipolar/ schizophrenia (yes I have both). Turns out I only need two pills, and if I were to refill both of them right now, I wouldn’t even pay $10 thanks to my health insurance (which sucks but at least it’s there) and because I got generics. Also, talk therapy can be pricey but sometimes only a few sessions can change your life. I have literally only been to talk therapy 11 times in my life and that was to deal with PTSD, bipolar, schizophrenia, and suicidal tendencies. 11 sessions. That’s 11 hours. And yeah, I paid over $400 out of pocket for those collectively. But if I hadn’t I would probably be dead right now so it was worth it.
  • Connections. Calling your friends is awesome because sometimes, it’s free therapy. And okay, maybe you’re 19 and you still have a horrible relationship with your parents. It’s okay. I am 25 and I still have problems with my parents. My whole family actually. Social media is a kind of safety net for me because that’s where I can be myself. Find where you can be yourself, it will help you stay sane.
  • Clean. Sometimes when I feel crappy, I take a shower. I clean the living room. I do the dishes. I vacuum. I mop. I open the windows. I get the trash out of the house. Change into some clean clothes. Organize my desk. Clean out your closet and put all your unwanted clothes in bags to donate. Just a small amount of cleaning can make you feel like you accomplished something. 
  • Hobbies. This one is a little hard too. It depends on your personality, your budget, and how much free time you have. Drawing , singing, and writing are free. Exercising can be free if you run or walk in the park. But most hobbies do actually cost money. Video games, playing an instrument, painting, sewing, cooking/baking, making things - those all cost money. Some of them lots of money. But you have to have a hobby outside of social network, sleeping, and working. It’s another thing to keep you sane and it’s just a good idea.
  • Toxic people. Do not be afraid to cut people out of your life that do nothing but make you feel bad about yourself or insult your life. This could mean breaking up with your partner, unfriending a person from your social circle, cutting out a whole circle of people, or even not talking to a relative(s). It’s not easy for some people but if they do not build you up, they will only tear you down. 
  • Drink at home. Okay so this one might sound like a no brainer, but I’ll explain it anyway. Packs of beer and hard liquor bottles are cheaper than a pint and a shots at the bar. Bottles of wine are cheaper than a glass at a restaurant. It’s never okay to drive drunk or even after one bottle of beer. NEVER. Staying at home is cheaper all around and you can drink in your pajamas while watching Finding Nemo on loop. Or invite some friends over and create a drinking game out of a show, a game you already have, or just talk and drink. 
  • Sleep. This one is so important. You need a good bed and a quiet, dark place to sleep. If you are scared of the dark, get a night light. Can’t sleep in silence? Get a fan. I have both of these and they help. You’re brain will feel tired if you ‘slept’ for 12 hours but only got 1 hour of REM. REM can really only happen every night if you are in a calm and dim environment. Quality of sleep will effect your eating habits, your emotional state, your mental stability, and your ability to make rational decisions among other things. 

So these are obviously just a few things, but I feel they are important to share. Please feel free to add any and reblog it for those about to enter adulthood. 

list of psychotic delusions

 persecutory

  • feeling that one is constantly being followed / stalked
  • feeling that one is secretly being spied on by family, partners, friends, others, pets and / or inanimate objects
  • feelings of fear over being kidnapped (usually by a stranger)
  • feeling that one is constantly being watched (by unknown entities or known entities)
  • feeling that one is being ridiculed by family, partners, friends and / or others
  • feeling that one is being spied on or monitored by the government, FBI etc.
  • feeling that family members, partners, friends, others, pets and / or inanimate objects are secretly conspiring to kill oneself
  • feeling like is being or will be poisoned by others

other paranoia related

  • feelings of fear over being abducted by aliens
  • feeling that there will be an imminent disaster (earthquake, fire, plane crash etc)
  • feeling that others can read one’s mind
  • feeling like the world is ending or about to end
  • feeling like one’s thoughts are being stolen out of or planted into their minds
  • feelings that the world isn’t real and is fake i.e. a set of some kind with actors or a computer simulation etc (different from the truman show delusion)
  • feeling that inanimate objects are somehow sentient
  • feeling like other people do not really exist, are dead or have been in a terrible accident

grandeur

  • feeling that one is a god or deity
  • feeling that one has magical powers i.e. mind reading, control over the weather etc
  • feeling that one is indestructible or unimaginably strong
  • feeling that another person or other people (usually celebrities) are in love with oneself

bizarre

  • feelings that one is dying, is already dead or does not exist (cotard delusion)
  • feelings of different people being a single person (fregoli delusion)
  • feeling like one’s reflection in a mirror is some other person (mirrored-self delusion)
  • feeling that family, partners, friends and / or pets have been replaced by identical fakes (capgras delusion)
  • feeling like the world only exists inside one’s head (solipsism delusion)
  • feeling that one is living in a reality TV show (truman show delusion)
  • feeling like one has an identical doppelgänger with a different (usually malicious) personality and life (subjective doubles delusion)
  • feeling like other people swap identities with each other without changing appearance (intermetamorphosis delusion)
  • feeling like one doesn’t belong to one’s body or doesn’t own parts of one’s body (somatoparaphrenia delusion)
  • feeling like a person, place, object, or body part has been duplicated or transported somewhere else (reduplicative paramnesia delusion)

a delusion is a belief or impression maintained despite being contradicted by reality or rational argument, if you are experiencing one or more of these delusions you may have a psychotic disorder or a disorder with psychotic symptoms

I may update this post regularly, so check back to see if it has been updated!

*Six awkwardly finger guns in the distance*

I had to commission my beeb @destinyapostasy to draw my disaster Pathfinder child, Six Ryder~ ty bby ;u; <3

4

ENGULFED BY FLAMES” - a brick house completely completely consumed by fire, even the tree and nearby power lines are ablaze. No flash needed for this nighttime snapshot thanks to the intense light of the burning building.

Wife swapping in India - some tips

Wife swapping in India - some tips
STRANGER OR FRIEND?
One – there are lots of fake ‘couples’ who are basically blackmailers. They will usually appear very attractive (especially the woman) and will even send their explicit photos to you as part of the introduction. It is very difficult to figure out which is a genuine couple and which is just a bunch of scamsters. The wives may actually be prostitutes.
Two – Diseases. There are some 'master’ swappers – older couples who have been involved in this for a long time. These people are usually emotionally shallow and hardly fit the definition of a 'couple’. They are more interested in using their 'couple’ status to get more sex, and with as many different people as possible. They often want only single-time encounters. Such professional swappers are bad news for various reasons, and not just because they too may try to blackmail you or your wife.
Three – whether you like it or not, swapping is not just about physical needs. You may think it is, but it is not, it is also emotional. It is about the lack of excitement and change and emotions in a relationship. Women usually develop feelings for the other guy in such relationships and you too may develop some feelings for the other woman (though men may be better able to control it.) If you don’t know the guy well, you don’t want your wife to develop feelings for him. Worse, you don’t know him well, he may try to take advantage of your wife’s feelings for him and cut you out.
Four – Most Indian women will not sleep with a stranger. This may be different in other cultures, but in India, 95% of the women won’t sleep with a stranger. So if you are trying to go in for a Internet-based thing, you are pushing her. Sometimes, she may agree if you pressurize her enough, or perhaps because she doesn’t realize how it feels like. But she is unlikely to enjoy it. If she doesn’t like it, it is rape. And you have just been an accomplice to your wife’s rape. It’s not a good feeling and she’ll hate you for it. This is something many men don’t realize because most men are ok with sleeping with strangers. They don’t really care. Women hate sex with strangers. This issue may be overcome through non-sexual introductions lasting for a couple of months (including combined trips, slumber parties etc., but it’s frankly too much bother to make a new friend for swapping, instead of just using an existing one. Besides, halfway through, you may realize that one of you or both of you don’t like the other couple much and is not interested in having sex with that person.) That said, if your wife is willing and eager to sleep with a stranger, you should perhaps get yourself checked for HIV.
Five – Imagine you rented a car for a week. How would you treat it? You’ll try to take maximum advantage of the situation and use it rough. You’ll try all your stunts and fantasies on it. What if it was your best friend’s car? If you are true friend, you won’t abuse it. You know you’ll have to answer to your friend sooner or later. It’s the same with wives. You lend your wife to a stranger, he’ll abuse her. He might force her to do things she doesn’t like. He might even make her pregnant. She’ll suffer and you may not be around to help her. Even if you are, it might turn violent. So don’t lend your wife to a stranger you found on a website, no matter how 'gentlemanly’ he looks.
Six – Swapping is a complicated matter. Human emotions are involved. There will be unforeseen twists and turns. There has to be love and kindness between all the four people for this to succeed. Jealousy will show its head and friends can solve such complicated emotional issues. Preferably, both the men and the women should be friends. If only one pair (man-man or woman-woman) are friends, spend enough time together for the other two also develop a friendship and understanding between each other. If they end up hating each other, find a new couple, otherwise life will become living hell for all four parties involved. If they are so-so friends, it is still ok. (Women are mostly so-so friends with other women..)
SAME ROOM OR DIFFERENT?
The ideal order of how events should unfold is the following:
1) Couples already know each other for some time
2) Check with your friend (male or female) in the other couple if he or she is open to the idea of swapping. If yes, proceed as below:
3) Couples should do activities/trips together and hang out with each other in a group of four.
4) Each person spends time in a secure public place (cinema, park etc.) with the opposite-sex partner from the other couple till they are comfortable in each other’s company.
5) Each couple have sex with their own partner (husband-wife) in the same room, either with lights on or off. If it is with lights off, then later, with lights on. This gives an opportunity for all parties to see their future sexual partner without clothes on. It also helps fuel their fantasies about each other.
6) Introduce the idea of swapping into partners’ minds (“he thought you were hot and said i was really lucky. i think he wanted to have a go at you too.” “I saw you eyeing her, you thinking of new partners, is it?”) If you are trying to introduce the idea into your wife’s mind (and your friend’s wife is already willing), get help from your friend’s wife to bring your wife into the loop.
7)Create a situation where the room is totally dark and all four of you are naked. There should be opportunity for the mixed couples to touch each other (could be a game, or sleep situation, 'accident’ or something else.) There can be sex immediately or there can be just touching etc. (depending on the situation)
LIGHTS ON OR NOT?
Don’t look at your partner having sex with someone else if you are not sure you can take it. A lot of people who think they can, find out that they cannot when the actual situation comes about. They feel angry, or feel cheated by the partner. They feel that the partner enjoyed more with the other person. They start feeling insecure about their ability to satisfy their partner. Don’t worry, there will come a time later on when you will be able to see it and not lose control. Wait for it, don’t look initially, keep it dark.
DO I TALK ABOUT IT?
Never ask about it. What your wife or husband does with his or her partner is totally his or her business. Of course, you have to make sure that the other person does not abuse your partner (wife) when he is alone with her and that your wife continues to enjoy the relationship as time passes (and is not just putting up with it for your sake.)
Never talk about it. Don’t compare, even in your mind. Tell your partner you don’t ever want to talk about this. It just happens, that’s it.
FALLING IN LOVE?
Realize that initially the other person may feel better than your existing partner. You may even feel like you are in love with the new partner, but it will wear off. Don’t burn your bridges and spoil your existing relationship. Put in extra efforts to reassure your partner that you still love him/her. Continue to have sex with him/her. Tell all this to your partner also. Tell your partner it’s ok if he or she feels like he or she is falling in love with the other person. It’s just the hormones. It’s how human beings are designed – they seek variety and thrills – it’s nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about. Enjoy your life and let your partner also enjoy.
There will be temptation to take things 'private’ between two of the 'new couples’ to add spice to the new relationship – such as through phone calls and emails. It is best avoided, to make sure jealousy and suspicion does not come up. Resist the temptation to go overboard. Don’t spend half an hour on the phone with your new 'boyfriend’ or 'girlfriend’, even if your wife or husband is not there. This should, obviously, not be done under any circumstances if he or she is there. It is a sure-fire recipe for disaster.
Similarly, there might be a temptation to move 'permanently’ to the new partner. It is a sign that you are in love with the new partner. At this point, remember that the grass is always greener on the other side. After spending a year or two with the new partner, you will feel just as bad as you did with your first one. The only difference will be that you will have spoiled your relationships with all three of the other members in your group. Be an adult and resist the temptation. If you think you won’t be able to, don’t get into this swapping thing at all. This is for people who have been through two or more relationships and know what relationships are about, how they change and evolve etc.. This is not for someone who has never fallen in love before. Such people will think 'this is it, the love of my life is here’. Preferably, the couples should have at one time been in love with each other, at some point in life.
It is perfectly ok to go out on dates with your new partner etc.. as long as it is done in a transparent way and all four members of the group have agreed on it.

Creating functioning civilizations in your fiction

Let’s be frank: a lot of this section is likely to be left out of your novel. Why? Because the ins-and-outs of how a city or village functions on a very basic level isn’t really that enthralling. Here and there, a detail will peek through into your narrative, but whole chunks of these thoughts will be jotted down as notes and then left alone forever. 

So why does it matter?

Like so many other aspects of worldbuilding, you–the writer–knowing every tiny detail will help you create a full, vibrant world on the page. You might not actually outline the history of your city’s sewage systems (ahem. we can’t all be Victor Hugo.) but if you’ve thought about these logistics and answered them even in a brief note to yourself, then the parts of your civilization that you do see on the page will feel consistent and real in an important way. 

(There is also some inevitable overlap between these aspects and your culture, so some questions might lean in that direction. Let it be a jumping-off point for more contemplation as you create.)

If you’re not a freak of nature like me and don’t want to spend time making your world absurdly flawless and perfect, than feel free to skip this entry. (But, I mean, why are you even following this blog if that’s the case??) Onward!

  • Where did basic building materials come from, both currently and historically? 
  • How uniform or varied are the buildings and houses of your civilization (both in style and material)?
  • How has the climate affected building style?
  • How culturally ingrained are the visuals (the cityscape) of the civilization?
  • How tight or spread-out are the buildings and homes in relation to one another? Is that because of culture or landscape necessity?
  • How has the city/town/village adapted to developing technologies and systems?
  • How accessible is water? How is it collected and distributed?
  • What foods are grown/bred locally? What is imported? 
  • How is the harvest of food handled on a logistical level? How are its ethics and its importance viewed by society as a whole?
  • Where do people go to the bathroom? How is sewage disposed of or recycled?
  • Does everyday life produce trash, or are all things reusable or recyclable? 
  • Does plastic exist? If so, how ubiquitous is it?
  • How is trash handled and disposed of?
  • What is/are the city’s primary energy source(s)?
  • Do the people pay taxes? How else might city funds be raised?
  • Do they have a money system? 
    • Is it used only within their town, or across the country?
    • Is money balanced with bartering, or does one take precedent over the other?
    • How is value determined, especially in a barter system?
    • What is the money based on? (gold? Or some other precious metal? Or some other resource entirely?)
  • How willing are citizens to pay for non-necessities and how does that affect the local businesses?
  • How is construction handled? By large groups of people or small teams with big equipment? Or magic? 
  • How are children educated? Who oversees it, if anyone?
  • How important is education to the people and how is that reflected in the system, facilities, and schedule?
  • What purpose does the downtown or “hub” area primarily serve?
    • Socialization
      • Bonfire pit
      • Park
    • Commerce
      • Farmer’s Market or local market
      • Corporate high-rises
    • Entertainment
      • Clubs
      • Sports arena
      • Theatre
      • Casino
  • When people get sick, what do they do? Do they have healthcare choices or do they only have the one doctor or single hospital where they have to do if they need help? How is healthcare paid for?
  • How are injured or dying people transported?
  • What kind of law enforcement does the city have? How much power do they possess? How are they viewed by citizens?
  • Is there some sort of fire department? Is it a city branch or is it volunteers? How are they prepared to fight fires?
  • What natural disasters are common and how is the town prepared for them? What happens when they occur?
  • What popular entertainment venues are there? How are they funded and run? What is their reputation?
  • What different entertainment options are there for the rich and the poor, or whatever class system your town has?
  • How are classes separated within the city?
  • If magic exists in your world, how is its use controlled or maintained within urban areas?
  • What kind of transportation do people use, in general? How is the town equipped to handle it?
  • If traffic jams can happen, how do people deal with them? What steps has the city taken to ensure smooth traffic flow?
  • What is it like when you first leave the city or village?
    • Landscape?
    • Distance to neighboring town?
    • Development of roads beyond the city (and who maintains them)?
  • What might be the first thing a newcomer to the city notices upon entering? Will she have an easy or difficult time navigating the place if she’s never been there before?

Check out the rest of the Brainstorming Series!
Magic Systems, Part One
Magic Systems, Part Two
New Species
New Worlds
New Cultures
Map Making
Politics and Government

On this day in history, April 18, 1906 – An earthquake and fire destroy much of San Francisco, California.

View of man standing in pile of rubble in front of damaged buildings during aftermath of 1906 earthquake and fire in San Francisco, California. Handwritten on back: “Earthquakes–San Francisco, 1906.”

  • Courtesy of the National Automotive History Collection, Detroit Public Library