finn-mccool

I believe I have made much mockery of Fionn mac Cumhail without actually giving enough reason for you to believe me that he is, indeed, in all seriousness, my favorite Irish mythological figure. So today, we shall do just that.

We already talked about Fionn’s origins and how he started his road down the path of kickasstitude, but let’s do a quick recap: He was raised by his two warrior moms (his aunt Bodhmall the Warrior-Druidess and her ‘friend’ Liath Luachra the Fighting Woman) and the three of them went on various adventures, some chronicled, most not, and all the while several hitmen were looking for him. His childhood name, Demne, was changed to Fionn, which means literally “white” or “bright”, in reference to his long, flowing white mane of hair, to mask him from those who pursued him due to his increasing fame.

Now, today, I want to talk to you about THE exploit that put Fionn on the map, and no, I am not talking about the Salmon thing, I mean an actual deed of martial mastery and weaponized self-mutilation.

Now an adult, Fionn found himself wandering the land, as he would always be turned away from various orders of knights when his employers realized who he was, since he was a wanted man and target of the mightiest knights ever, the Fianna Knights. Downtrodden but still resolute, Fionn arrived at the city of Tara. There was kind of a big problem with the city of Tara, however: It was burned down to the ground every year for the last 23 years. Not even the Fianna Knights could stop it.

Aillen the Burner was the one responsible for this. Once a year, for the last 23 years, Aillen had burned the city to the ground after using his magical music to put everyone to sleep in the city. Every year, he did this shit, and no one could stop him, because they were ASLEEP and USELESS while Aillen just burned things down with his fire breath calmly and at his own pace. Oh, yeah, by the by, Aillen was a Sidhe from Tuatha De Dannan, AKA a god-like existence. Stopping him wasn’t that simple.

But Fionn took one look at this dude and said “I AM GOING TO SUPLEX HIM”.

Fionn knew the event was to happen the day he arrived, so he made the necessary preparations. Actually, he didn’t, because each one of his testicles has a gravitational field and is harder than steel. He stood outside of the palace of Tara holding his Crane-Skin Bag of Weapons, patiently waiting.

NOW, FIONN FACT: Unlike many heroes, Fionn did not have a named weapon. Instead, his “weapon” was the Crane-Skin Bag. The Crane-Skin Bag, which had once belonged to his father, housed a myriad of magical weapons that Fionn would flexibly use in combat to meet the needs of any particular engagement. Fionn’s power, basically, was having an inventory. Like, you guys remember Doraemon?

Right, so basically, Doraemon is Fionn’s fursona. Literally the same character. The only difference is that Fionn was pulling out sick chainsaws and shotguns out of his bag instead of helicopter hats for his loser friend.

So Fionn was doing a newspaper sudoku, waiting for this shit to go down, when suddenly, over yonder, he heard a very suspicious voice.

“Yo yo yo I’m doing this I’m DOING THIS a 24th time baby #westside time to BURN WHORES”.

It was Aillen the Burner, with his beautiful song that lulls mortals to sleep! One by one, the citizens and warriors of Tara fell asleep like defenseless babes, and Aillen was readying his fire breath when he noticed one thing: Fionn, very much not asleep, was running at him at around 300 kilometers per hour, a huge spear in hand.

“Yo yo ok wtf the fuck, that’s never happened before, what’s your deal, how are you still awake?”

See, Aillen’s plan was, for the most part, flawless. He just failed to account for someone with just the right amount of senseless disregard for his own safety and neurons: Fionn came to the conclusion that if you just avoided falling asleep, Aillen himself couldn’t be too tough, if he was relying on this strategy in the first place. So did Fionn use his literal infinite salmon knowledge superpower to create a balm that would neutralize the effects of the lullaby? No, he didn’t, he just grabbed one of his spears, the poisoned one, and went to town on his own face with it to stay awake.

Let me say that again.

One of Fionn’s spears was poisoned with an extremely potent venom (like fucking every other spear in Irish mythos), and when I say potent, I don’t mean “it stings”, I mean “mere contact with the tip of the spear felt like dipping your fingers in magma”. He held his spear with both hands and, as he ran after Aillen, he kept smashing the tip of his spear against his own face to keep himself awake with the pain of the burning tip.

Holy SHIT

So Aillen, very reasonably scared shitless, ran. He ran for like three blocks and then the much physically superior Fionn caught up to him, his face ANGRY like a bull who had just been kicked in the balls by man in red spandex, grabbed him by the shoulder, and absolutely pincushioned him with spear thrusts like he was some Fist of the North Star live action adaption character. Fionn is actually the first recorded machine gun in history, and what gun companies nowadays use as a basis for their gatling guns, because holy fuck he just RIDDLED the dude into something that would make swiss cheese mold green with envy.

So this kinda left everyone very impressed and even more uncomfortable because, holy shit, ok, Fionn, uh, saved them all, but he’s also the dude they were supposed to kill. How the fuck do you kill THAT? I mean he kinda just killed a god by smashing a spear against his own face repeatedly REALLY HARD for a good while, do YOU want to go against that kind of man? That’s the kind of shit someone with nothing to lose steps away from. Damn.

So, with no viable options other than Not Fighting That Lunatic, Fionn’s heritage was acknowledged, and Goll, in his wisest moment ever recorded, stepped away voluntarily. Goll mac Morna was the guy who staged the coup that killed Fionn’s dad and stole the Fianna Knights leadership from him. The other guy that indirectly killed Fionn’s dad, Tadg mac Duanat, gave Fionn his beautiful house on the hills of Allen to Fionn in exchange for not obliterating him in loud, bloody, gory vengeance. Fionn accepted. Reminder that Tagd is also Fionn’s grandfather on his mother’s side.

And that’s how Fionn regained his rightful ownership of the Fianna Knights, stopped being a wanted man, and killed a god through sheer masochism.

The moral of the story is that if you can beat the fuck out of your own face, your enemies will assume you can do that to their faces just as fine, and they will give you free real estate so you don’t do that.

I really like the progression of Diarmuid and Fionn’s friendship in FGO? Like in the America Singularity things were a bit awkward for the majority of it, with Fionn making not-so-subtle jabs at their past, and then saying it was only a joke whenever Dia showed discomfort- and then in the end revealing that he really is just joking and he’s just glad to be fighting alongside his brother in arms again.

And then in the Goetia Singularity, Dia has no hesitancy in snapping and calling Fionn out when he’s wasting everyone’s time, and Fionn immediately apologizes for his behavior and pulls his shit together, they speak respectfully and amicably to each other, and then charge off into battle together.

It’s really sweet to see that between those two singularities, Dia has become more comfortable speaking up to Fionn, and that Fionn doesn’t just laugh off his concerns but takes them to heart and tries to correct himself. It’s a small thing but it’s just really nice and it makes me happy.

Finn-a-bon, giving the one-eared salute and a very Merrry Christmas to everyone.  Yes, this is the outfit I bought for Maisie in France, but this is the only thing he didn’t rip off his body.  He is doing well for having shredded his cranial cruciate back in July. Can’t wait till I can stop carrying him up and down the stairs.  Here’s hoping i can master photoshop to get a combined “photo” of the 2 of them or there will again be no holiday cards this year. 

Finn: God of the Sun

Apollo is often seen as the God of the Sun, but he is much more than that. He is the God of music, the bringer of light, and most importantly the God healing, and the warder of evil. He protects his subjects from whatever dark forces may wish to harm them. Is makes sense, right? What can drive out darkness better than light? And what can do away with hatred better than love? Throughout his journey Finn parallels Apollo. He protects others from harm, he is the catalyst for which Rey accepts the Light of the Force (he is the bringer of light, while she is its user) and he heals, delivering Poe Dameron away from the clutches of the First Order, much like a physician provides the remedy for an illness. If the remedy is not administered (had Finn not acted to save Poe’s life) the victim would have perished.

Throughout the film Finn is the bringer of change, and the one who unites our new trio together (through proximity, or course) and also unites Kylo Ren (the source of darkness in this film) with the rest of the cast. It’s interesting to note that Finn is the one who shields both Poe and Rey away from Kylo’s darkness. Finn delivers Poe away from Kylo’s wrath. Finn positions himself in front of Rey to keep Kylo from reaching her. Constantly shielding the people he cares about away from whatever darkness wishes to engulf them. What would have happened had Finn not sparked his weapon in defense of Rey? What would have happened had Finn not rescued Poe? A rebellion, much like a garden, cannot grow without sunlight. It is the light that provides the strength and energy needed for any kind of change to take root. It is Finn who completed Poe’s mission, and gave the Resistance the chance it needed to take out the Star Killer Base.

Within the pages of Before The Awakening, Finn exhibits those same traits to spread light and warmth to his fellow Stormtroopers, people who had lived their life in darkness. Take this passage for instance:

 

[“He could see what Slip couldn’t—a squad of five Republic soldiers advancing on him unseen from the left flank. FN-2187 raised his rifle, sightning, but knewbefore his helmet confirmed it that he was out of ranger. He could open fire, but there was no way he’d score a hit.

            ‘He’s done,’ Nines said. ‘We’ve got to advance.’

            ‘He’s one of us,’ 2187 said, lowering his rifle.”] Star Wars: Before the Awakening.

 

There is a recognization of shared humanity there, an illumination of clearer thought. Finn forgets the original objective to rescue Slip, and then ultimately completes the mission single handedly. Finn (or at the moment of this action, FN-2187) understands not only the innate humanity of his fellow soldiers, but the importance of unity. Speaking in a strictly physiological sense, would you cut off an arm if it is still salvageable? And if so, what would that do to the rest of the body. It is understandable if the limb, or infected body part is risking the rest of the body, but if it isn’t, forced removal would be a determent to the rest of the organism. Why cause harm, when there isn’t a need to? Being able to understand the different is a corner stone in medicine and its practice. Do no harm. And it is this understanding that keeps Finn at the forefront of his squad. He understands the power of unity, and when to amputate (he may not like it, but he will if necessary) and when to salvage, and heal. 

That is not to say that Finn cannot fight, or will not take a life when necessary. Apollo may have been the god of healing, but he was also the god of diseases, and archery. He could bring forth a plague if he saw to it. Even when Finn does attack, and take a life, he does so with a gentle hand. If you look at the scene with Maz’s castle, where Finn plunges the lightsaber into the Stormtroopers chest, you can see (if look close enough) that Finn gently places the corpse onto the ground. There’s no careless drop, there’s no disregard for the life he just took. There is a careful, gently regret. Finn is not a killer (as stated and shown throughout the film) however, he will when necessary, but not without some form of regret. Finn values life, and often chooses to give life (such as rescuing Poe, protecting Rey, standing up for Slip) rather than take it.

Finn and Kylo Ren also have an interesting relationship within this light and dark dichotomy. We often see this comparison with Kylo Ren and Rey (and there are many great points here, and I am not disagreeing whatsoever), however looking at the two characters (Finn and Kylo) from the angle of upbringing and action, there are far more parallels between the two. Finn was raised to be a trooper, his whole world revolved around serving an agent of darkness. In contrast, Ben Solo was raised around Luke Skywalker, the literal agent of light. One was raised in darkness, yet learned to share light, while the other was raised in light and turned away from it. Even their names are a testament to their inner workings. Finn choosing to go by his new name (a gift from Poe, a man he delivered from the darkness) while Ben Solo abandoned his name and chose one that aligned himself with Snoke.  They both made choices, Finn who chose, over and over, to give life and warmth, while Kylo Ren chose, again and again, to take life and spread fear. Kylo Ren stole the life of the villagers. Kylo Ren stole the life of Han Solo. Kylo Ren wished to shroud Rey in darkness. Seeing a pattern?

It’s also ironic (or, perhaps intentional?) that Poe chose the name “Finn”. True, Poe chose the name based off of Finn’s call sign (FN-2187) however the meaning of the name is interesting. Finn means, “White”, “Fair”, “Soldier”, and the name itself is derived from an Irish man of legend named (in English) Finn Mccool. One of the legends of this man was that he was a giant who protected Ireland from all invaders. So “Finn” as a name itself, is a fitting description of a Stormtrooper who chose to promote healing, rather than fear.

Finn follows a path within this film, a subtle rise and fall, much like the sun itself. He awakens from the darkness, and like the sun spreading its light across the land, brings forth hope and change. And at the end of the film, he falls into a coma, like the sun does every night. But of course, his path is not done, for the sun always rises again.

Just as Finn will.

Watching the Sunset at the Giant’s Causeway

A UNESCO World Heritage site, the Giant’s Causeway, renowned for its polygonal columns of layered basalt, is a magnificent, mysterious geological formation resulting from a volcanic eruption 60 million years ago on the North East coast of Co Antrim, and is steeped in myth and legend.
The setting is a spectacular dynamic coastal landscape of Atlantic waves, rugged cliffs, fascinating geographical antiquity, secluded bays and magnificent views.
The Causeway forms a jagged headland of neatly packed columns which point towards Scotland.
They say the Giant’s Causeway was the stomping ground of giant Finn McCool, who lived in these parts nearly two thousand years ago, and that the giant basalt chimney stacks mark his house.
The giant organ he built for his muscial son Oisín, and the giant boot he left on the shore can also be found here.

  • Me talking about Northern Ireland/Ireland on a whole: lmao this place is so shite I hate it here
  • Someone who doesn't live here: Yeah it's pretty bad haha
  • Me: what the fuck did you just say you fucking gobshite are you looking a dig in the bake how dare you stand there and breathe in our beautiful clean unpolluted air and so blatantly disrespect this proud and strong land of rich culture and history you disgust me I thought St Paddy got rid of all the snakes in Ireland but here you are in front of me scales and all I swear Finn McCool didn't dress up as a baby for us to listen to your bullshit get off our beautiful emerald island right now you fucking ballsack

Giant’s Causeway, Antrim Coast, Northern Ireland. Science people will tell you it was formed during the last ice age in a volcanic eruption; locals will tell you how it was constructed by the giant Finn McCool to challenge his Scottish rival, and how he won not by strength but the ingenuity of his wife.

(The hill across the bay is a great climb, more so because most people tend to completely ignore it in favour of getting to the basalt columns as quickly as possible.)

IM SO MAD I DON’T HAVE FIONN I WANT THE SALMON OF KNOWLEDGE
WHY IS IT RAINBOW
ok kids story time!!!!!
In some translations of the story the Salmon of Knowledge is noted to look like a completely normal Salmon which is part of why it eluded the druid for many years and he Trusts Fionns judgment of finding the salmon
In some translations it never mentions this at all other than he Trusts Fionn.
So yeah maybe the bond ce us showing the salmon through Fionn eyes which is rainbow because u assume Fionn is usually tripping balls considering the way he talks in like all these books