finishing this made me feel a lot better


They are Arashi.
I wonder how they must feel when think that they are Arashi.
I just see 5 ordinary and wonderful men whose get along amazing and their chemistry is awesome.
I already saw a lot of videos where they said what Arashi means to them. I always finished crying when I heard them speak with total sincerity.

They are 5 bakas. They make us laugh and cry. Make us happy. They made me a better person and tough me a lot of important things. I just love them so much and I’ll never forget them.

Riida thank you for bring me the courage that I need sometimes.
Nino thank you for tough me the meaning of hard work no matter what.
Sho-kun thank you for tough me to follow what I want without listen to others.
MatsuJun thank you for tough me to be more professional in my work.
Aiba-chan thank you for tough me to smile even if all around me is the worst.

I love you guys💕




FINALLY DONE! *collapses*

So four months since starting and after about 2 and a half months of basically constant work (to the point of styling and braiding in the hotel room XD), Nori got done in time for DragonCon!  Well, mostly done- I actually have a few tweaks, some more weathering, and maybe a prop to make by NYCC, but we’re gonna call it done. ;P  This was definitely the most involved cosplay I’ve ever made, and quite a learning experience- I had never made a muscle suit, done leatherwork, or ventilated hair before, so there was a lot to learn and do in not a ton of time (plus making the fem version at the same time).  But with it done it was really rewarding, and I feel like I’m a much better costumer on the other side of it.  So excited to wear it again soon!

I want to send out a massive thank you to anybody who not only helped me or taught me something that helped me finish this project, but also those who cheered me on or listened to my stressed rambling.  Seriously, this would not have happened without all of you. <3

Costume and editing- Me
Photos- David Vining of Dave’s Creative Side


3.16.17 Birthday Party! (55/100 days of productivity)

As you may know from previous posts, I work at the Center for Creativity which is my campus’ free art space! It’s been a year since the space opened and today we celebrated!

This morning when I got up I wasn’t expecting today to be very good. I’ve been sore from working out recently, and I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. This morning I went into Starbucks, thinking my day was going to get better when there wasn’t a line, but then I waited and watched 8 mobile orders get made start to finished while I waited for mine. I was late to class and was just in a tired bad mood. 

Oddly enough this got me feeling kind of angsty. One thing that I’ve been thinking about recently is the likelihood of me having an allergic reaction to Starbucks frappuccinos. The one time I asked a barista about the risk of cross contamination with my allergens they said it wasn’t a smart idea for me to try one, but I don’t know, sometimes I just get bored with my life… and today I set my mind on trying a frappuccino. Obviously I didn’t die or have a reaction because I’m writing this post. And I’m pretty satisfied to report I had my first green tea frappuccino today and it was everything I expected it to be. 

After class and after getting the frappuccino is when I went to my work party. It was fun catching up with the student workers I hadn’t seen since my shift changed and I got to make some more buttons with the button maker. 

What started off as a shitty day ended with a sense of victory. After work I managed to make it to the gym for the fourth consecutive day and did some upper body workouts with my friend. I can already feel my upper body getting sore! 

I had the nightmare again, this time I heard a name, Tohmu, they called me Tohmu in the nightmare, I’ve taken to assuming that this Tohmu is actually me, and well these people that die must be someone that knew me, at least the woman does. She defends me before she gets hit with the arrows, but then, something new happened I got hit too, in the same place I have my scars, I’m not sure these scars are from a wolf attack any more.

I finished selling the goods, and went right to the Astrologian’s guild, they told me to go back into the city, I apparently need to rest longer. I have no idea how they can judge that but I wasn’t too happy, Grumpy and not able to do what I wanted. I went to walk around the city getting some air.

Dante spent most of the day with me helping me relax, it was nice of him, made me feel a lot better towards the end, he even skipped going to the manufactory to look after me, I love this man so much, everything someone like me could ask for, I don’t know where I’d be without him.

G'night Journal


So work had really pissed me off in the last few weeks, and I soon realized that drawing equally pissed off cartoon characters made me feel a lot better.  Was originally a sketchbook doodle, but didn’t have time to finish it.  I don’t even know what Arnold’s holding.  Maybe it’s a bad test score?

To ask about a scar

It’s been five months since you broke my heart, and seven since I stood on a stage with your face casually missing from the crowd. I spent four years learning, only to spend the better part of every single day unlearning how to write you down. I’m not bitter, I’m coming out.

One hundred and eleven days ago I wrote the poem that marked the downslope. I fell so far, so slowly, into the darkest dark I’ve ever known and I didn’t even dig my fingernails in on the way down. Losing you made me feel like I deserved to drown. This is the first poem I’ve begun and finished anew, and I’ve got to say, there’s a lot that comes up when you’ve spent so long forcing yourself to dismantle the sound. I am, within myself, everything I’d ever hoped could be found. I am a powerhouse.

I stand tall. It’s not because of you I lost it, but it is because of you I let myself come back from it, let myself come back into it, let my back break again to remake it, let my legs shake again to re-stake this claim - I am me. I am mine. I’ve been lost, but I wrote a road map on the walls all the way back from heartbreak and heartache, to heart give and heart take and heart want and heart make. I’m using my heart, not to make excuses to back off, to back up, to slow down, to sedate… but to create. I’m making the world step by step into the place I used to hope for. I gave up on hoping, and decided to never wait.

No excuses. There’s never too much on my plate to not find a way to be okay. This is my place. Feet planted firm, register loud and unashamed, I’ve spent too long listening to the voices telling me I’m not worth this place to stand, but I am. I’ve come and I’m taking. I’m here and I’m showing up and I’m making demands to be heard. I stand on nothing but my word.

So I guess this to say… I took the scenic route. I bent my own body into shapes to convince myself I could be right; I stopped writing. Fuck a bloody lip, I had bloody fingertips on both hands clinging to all the nothing. Yeah, I’ve been down, but I found my way. I’m doing me. I hope you’re doing okay.

Ashley Wylde
November 1st, 2015


Matching icons for me and for rikachan86^^
I’m still on hiatus, but I had promised her, and I ALWAYS keep my promises. And the Hinata one was already finished while the Kenma one was half finished, so…
I’m grateful for every single person who cheered me up today and if I could I’d go and hug you all ;__; I feel lucky and a lot better.
You made some kind of miracle, I don’t hate this that much^^

I’ve just finished reading “life with a sprinkle of glitter” and I can honestly say that I’ve never cried, laughed and smiled so much at a book ever before.
Everything was so well written and her little bits of advice at the end of each chapter were so endearing and they made me feel so much better about things.
Her chapters on motherhood and being kind genuinely made me cry. They were so beautifully written and so unbelievably heart warming.
I’m so thankful that Louise has taught me that life with a sprinkle of glitter and a lot of positivity makes everything so much more worthwhile.

Next will be Blue lab 03 I+II

I’ll have to cut it to more parts, the first one 16 pages (sketched) as part I should be done soon ^__^ Also, the HxH doujinshi almost finished, I might upload that one too!These next updates will be sad I’m afraid, but might finally make certain things clear >__< Also planning to color 6 pages of SPS! I’ll try to manage somehow among work! I want to thank everyone who was so kind to drop me a message of support and concern ♥ Many things are a lot better now, I’m just dealing with also lot of work pressure! I appreciate your feelings and ya all made me smile, thank you for all your patience (this is becoming my catchphrase while creating fancomics, really T__T;;)! Hope you’ll enjoy what is to come!