finger tap

Imagine getting Wade to take his shirt off

Wade Wilson x Reader

Originally posted by ivanv


“Fuck off, Wilson.” You snarled at the man walking behind you, moving up the flight of stairs to the next floor level.

“Now, that’s not very nice you little ball of sunshine.”

“I don’t - I just don’t know why I put up with you,” you groaned rummaging for the apartment key in your bag.

“Oh, come on - you know why,” Wade brushed up against your back as you stepped onto the floor landing. 

“Cocky son of a bitch, you really think you have the goodies?”

“My milkshake does bring the boys to the yard,” he argued pulling out his spare key and unlocking the door. “Ladies, first.”

You paused and tapped your fingers against your thigh. “Well, fuck are you going to go in or what?”

Wade’s face lit up in a bright smile as he strolled into the apartment, making his way to the small kitchenette. Following inside, you closed the door and walked over to your bed, flopping on it and moving to sit against the headboard. Your eyes watched as Wade placed the newly bought beer and groceries into the fridge.

“That’s it slave boy, I like when you act all domesticated,” you rolled up the sleeves of your sweater and placed your hands behind your head - enjoying the view. 

“Oh you likely?” Wade pointed up and down his body, moving toward the bed. 

You shrugged. “Not sure, gotta see what you’re working with.”

Scoffing, Wade pulled his shirt off over his head and revealed his well defined chest. “Tell me something, kitten. You wanna lap up my milkshake? Because Daddy’s got some grade A nonfat soy-”

“- jesus, Wade,” you laughed and held up a hand for him to stop. “I get it, I get it. Now come here and fuck me, you moron.”

Wade grinned, undoing the top button of his jeans. “It will be your pleasure, but first some music.”

Slipping off your own shirt, you groaned when Wade’s song selection came on.

The merc tossed his cell down on the desk and wiggled his eyebrows up and down. “Come on, you know my milkshake brings your tight ass to the yard.”

And fuck, if he wasn’t right.

Autistic Merle Things

-Doesn’t bind because its so ding dang uncomfortable

-SpIn in nature and plants, hes got about 20 potted plants in his BoB dorm and on the Starblaster he had various plants of all sizes throughout every room on the goddamn ship. He makes Davenport swear to Pan that he’ll take care of them while Merle is dealing with John in parlay

-Stims with the soulwood arm! He taps his fingers on it and rubs his hands up and down the bark, he loooves the texture its so A++

-Never wears shoes or socks and keeps his sleeves to a minimum. He only wears shorts and has given up on buying new clothes at this point

-suuper touch sensitive and he doesn’t let anybody touch him, except Davenport and the other two THB on really good days. And of course Lucretia bc shes like his best friend.

-exhausted all the time but he just cannot drink coffee because the smell is so dang strong it hurts. He drinks tea instead but it is not the same amount of energy at all

-hums to himself all the time. Stims with singing even though he isn’t any good.

-his arms have 2 positions and theyre either As Close To His Body As Possible(raptor hands) or Straight Out To The Side there is no inbetween

-he sits on his hands

Please add on to this my autistic dad needs more love

anonymous asked:

category 1, number 16? ;)

Yuuri has a flush high on his cheeks as he teeters in the door, Viktor stumbling in after him and catching him around the waist as he closes the door.

“No!” Yuuri laughs, pushing him away. “Viktor, no!”

“Yuuri,” Viktor coos in his ear, nibbling behind it. “Yuuri, I love you.”

Yuuri’s laugh is a high peel, and he drags Viktor with him into the bedroom, dropping his scarf as he goes. Once in the bedroom, he breaks away from Viktor to fall back onto the bed and wrestle his own coat off. Viktor stands at the end of the bed, laughing at him, until his own coat and tie are on the floor. Yuuri shrieks again as Viktor plummets down on top of him.

“Hello,” Viktor murmurs against his neck. “Hello.”

“You-u-u,” Yuuri sings, twirling his finger and then tapping Viktor on the forehead. Viktor can’t tell if he meant to hit him there, or on the nose. “Are drunk, Mister Nikiforov-Katsuki.”

“No,” Viktor mumbles, but doesn’t offer any other protest. Yuuri lifts his knees and Viktor traces a hand underneath his thigh, from the soft underside of his knee to the plush and round handful of his ass. “Yuuri, oh. Yuuri.”

Yuuri moans into his shoulder and hugs Viktor impossibly tight to himself, fingers digging into his shoulder and his thigh. Viktor circles his hips, hard, filthy, closer and closer. 

Drunk-Yuuri squeals when he comes. Viktor loves it.

acunningstargazer  asked:

“I don’t want to go to sleep,” She confessed, “I don’t want to wake up and have this all be a dream.” She wasn’t typically one for the mushy gushy bit of relationships but he made her feel like her insides were hot fudge. (Pt. 3)

Eddie made a disgusted sound, chuckling lightly as she cuddled into his side. “And you wonder why I make women leave the next morning.” He playfully said, resting an arm behind his head as she traced along his muscles. He hated cuddling, always did. Something about it just annoyed him, like he was being smothered. Not to mention most of the women he bedded tried to cling to him. But, he allowed her the moment, his arm wrapped around her as he tapped his fingers along her arm.

episode one :: Yuuri Katsuki is the most beautiful disaster that Victor has ever met in his entire life, and Victor has built his empire on beautiful disasters.



Victor isn’t sure he knows what he’s doing anymore by the time casting rolls around for season 22 of The Bachelor.  Okay, he knows what he’s doing, but it’s all autopilot.  He’s got a dossier of Chip Vanderbones and Tad Hardbeefs to look at, but is almost resigned enough to just give into Lilia and Yakov’s suggestion to cast Georgi Popovich, notorious histrionic Bachelorette season 10 runner-up, as this season’s lead out of sheer notgivingafuckness.  At this point Victor isn’t even sure whether he really wants to be in this game at all anymore, but what the hell else he would do besides sleep for a thousand years if he retired before thirty?  

And then Phichit Chulanont comes into his office to distract him during a conference call with Yakov to tell him a story about his friend who just crashed and burned at the Figure Skating Grand Prix Finals, and everything click click clicks into place: redemption narrative.  Twenty young men are going for the gold, but only one can win the heart of Yuuri Katsuki– he can hear the promos, see the character arcs unfold, and the narratives rush through him like they’ve always lived inside him and it feels–exciting.  

“Phichit,” Victor says suddenly, interrupting Phichit and grabbing him from across his desk.  “We have to get him.  He’s our next bachelor.”

“Oh my God,” Phichit replies, eyes widening, and then again, “Oh my God.

“Do you think you could get him?” Victor asks.  He’s seeing figure skating dates, thematic destination shoots in Chile and Finland and Iceland, “The Bachelor: Love on Ice” title screen flashing over two champagne glasses on the lip of an outdoor hot tub.  

“Do I think I can get him,” Phichit repeats dismissively, looking the closest to offended that Victor has ever seen him.  “What do you think you hired me for, Nikiforov.”

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Transference (M) – Chapter 05

cr. [X]

Summary: During a routine visit to the local bakery, you stumble upon an intriguing business card and figure, what the hell. The business arrangement becomes…mutually beneficial. Y’all know where this is going.

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Angst, Smut

Word Count: 10,216

Warning: Tantric!Hoseok, therapist/client relationship, sexual themes, BDSM, shibari, dom/sub roleplay, profanity.

A/N: Here is the long awaited Hoseok POV chapter. If you haven’t read Chapters 1-4 already, I highly recommend doing so by using the links below. I’d also like to take this opportunity to thank @redmandalore​ who’s been a hell of a beta-reader and has helped me tremendously.

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05

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Undercover ~ BTS!Mafia AU Pt. 1

Thank you for 2,000! We hope you enjoy! - The Admins

Summary: Jeon Jungkook is the leader of a Mafia. He’s a drug lord, rich, and a murderer. And you? You’re just (Y/N). But to Jungkook you’re his everything, and he will do anything he can to keep you safe.

Type: A bit of everything

Warnings for this part: Guns, SMUT!, Blood, shitty fight scenes (i tried bro), language, drugs, angst

Group: BANGTAN BOYS

PART 2


You had just gotten off of work and headed over to Jimin’s place. You hadn’t talked to him all day and decided you’d pay him a surprise visit. You used your key to unlock the door and set your bag down on the small table next to it. 

You had barely taken a few steps into the house when you heard a moan, Jimin’s moan. ‘He’s probably masturbating’ You thought, it wasn’t the first time you had walked in on him jerking off. 

He did it when he was impatient and you’d always come home at just the right time to be able to help him. You smiled to yourself and slipped off your shoes before walking towards his door at the end of the hall.

As you went to grab the handle you heard another moan, a woman’s moan. ‘Is he watching porn?’ You thought and grabbed onto the knob. 

“Oh Jimin! Right there!” A woman cried, you could tell he was having sex with her, the noises of skin slapping got louder. 

You opened the door and saw a sight that you would never forget. A woman was underneath Jimin, her legs were out and he was thrusting into her quickly while letting out those grunts that made you so wet. But you were just disgusted. Hearing those noises made you want to puke. 

You watched in shock as he used a hand to grab onto her breast and squeeze her nipple while the other moved down and he used his thumb to rub her clit. His back was facing you and she had her eyes closed, she was moaning too loudly to even hear you walk into the room. 

She was right on the brink of her orgasm when you almost screamed. 

“REALLY JIMIN?!” He had one last snap of his hips that made her orgasm before he quickly pulled out and stared at you. You watched as she squirted all over him and the sheets and gagged. 

“Wait! (Y/N)!” He got up and followed you as you ran down the hallway. His dick was red and hard, standing against his lower stomach but that was the last of his worries. 

“I-I can explain.” He stuttered, surprised that he had been caught. This wasn’t the first time he was fucking another girl, this had been going on for a while. Hell, he had been having sex with multiple girls all at once, he had been getting bored of (Y/N). 

You shook your head and said nothing while tears streamed down your face, your hands shook as you grabbed your shoes and slid them on your feet. 

“(Y/N), listen.” His hand reached out to grab yours and you flinched and slapped his hand away. 

“Don’t touch me! Don’t…” You grabbed your bag and he ran a hand through his hair. 

“Please! Let me talk.” You could barely see clearly from the tears in your eyes. 

“No, I don’t wanna hear it.” You opened the door and ran down the hallway to the elevator, quickly closing the doors before Jimin could make it to you. 

You ran out of the apartment complex, barely making it out of the doors before throwing up on the grass. Everything you had eaten came up and you were dizzy while walking to your car. 

You took a minute and wiped away your tears and went home, never speaking a word to Park Jimin again.

5 months had passed since you’d said a word to Jimin. You came back the next day, collected all of your things you had left at his place, giving him back the shirts you took from him and walked passed him and didn’t look back. 

3 months after he had cheated, you went on a date with Jungkook and things went on from there. You had met Jungkook through Jimin and became your best friend. Whenever you and Jimin argued, you’d step outside and call Jungkook, letting out all of your problems. 

You haven’t had sex since the last time you and Jimin had slept together and that was nearly 3 weeks before you caught him cheating. 

Jungkook was rich, but you weren’t dating him for the money. When you met him, he looked like complete shit. Hair messy and unwashed, his eyes were bloodshot and he had bags underneath them. His shirt was wrinkled and he had dried up tears on his face. He walked in on you and Jimin watching a movie and told Jimin about how his girlfriend had broken up with him. 

He asked you on a date when you were complaining about being tired of being alone. You were tired of staying in bed all the time, crying because of your heartbreak. But Jungkook, he was everything you wanted and more. 

Jimin was great at first, but near the end of your relationship, you barely talked to each other anymore. 

Jungkook made you feel special, he got you what you want and simply asked for your love in return. You made it clear to him that you didn’t want the money, he was what you wanted. 


And now you were here today. 

Another day on the job. You lead another family to a table and handed them their menu’s. A dad, and two children. You politely smiled and rejected him when he asked you out on a date, stating you had a boyfriend. 

He smiled in understanding and proceeded to talk to his children. ‘If only more people here were like that’ you thought to yourself while going to hand their orders to the chef. 

Most of the men that went here were with their girlfriends and snuck over you on their way to the bathroom, trying to cop a feel. 

A few girls had even hit on you before, they stared and bit their lips, admiring your body from head to toe. But you also rejected, again stating you had a boyfriend. 

When your shift was over, you said goodnight to everyone and made your way home to your apartment. You said hello to the friendly old lady who was working on opening her door, her poor old shaky hands struggling with putting the key in the hole. You watched as she walked in and then walked into your apartment. You turned on the lights and kicked off your shoes, stretching before laying down on your couch. 

You pulled your phone out of your pocket and read the text messages from your friends and quickly replied before shooting a text message to Jungkook. 

‘Just got off work. How was your day?’ 


Jungkook was currently at one of his clubs with Jimin, Yoongi, and Namjoon. Jimin was dealing cocaine, laughing and joking around with one of their clients. Jungkook was sat in a chair, silently watching everyone closely. 

Yoongi had a girl on his lap, she was grinding against him while they made out. Music was blaring and some other people were dancing. 

Hoseok was in another room, having sex with one of his usual girls. When the DJ would switch the songs, you could hear their moans, she was literally screaming. 

Jungkooks phone vibrated when he noticed something odd. One of his clients had a gun tucked into his belt, which was strictly against the rules. No one but Jungkook and a few others were allowed to carry a gun on them while at the clubs. 

Jungkook got up and walked over to Jimin, putting his hand on his shoulder and tapping his finger 3 times. This was their signal. Jimin shrugged his arm off of his shoulder and when they made eye contact, Jungkook’s hand made it’s way to his gun. 

Jimin’s hand reached into his pocket and wrapped around the handle of a knife and by this time their ‘clients’ had noticed what they were doing. 

In a second, guns were raised. 

Yoongi and the girl had broken up, he was stood next to her, gun raised and she had one in her hand also. Namjoon was aimed at the one who was aiming at Yoongi. 

Jimin made the first move and quickly stabbed his knife into the man’s gut that was standing behind him. His arm shot up, hitting his arm so the gun went off and the bullet went into the ceiling. 

Jungkook quickly shot the next two, one of their bullets grazing his shoulder. Namjoon, Yoongi, Jimin, and the other female shot at a few other people. Jungkook shot at their leader but missed. 

He knocked the gun out of Jungkooks hand and he was just left with his hands. The man named Sooyoung stabbed the knife into Jungkook’s thigh, and Jungkook yelled at the pain. 

Jungkook punched him in the jaw knocking Sooyoung back. Jimin had just finished pulling his knife out of the chest of another man and threw it at Sooyoung, and it landed in his shoulder. 

Blood was soaking Jungkooks pant leg as he pushed Sooyoung down to the ground and straddled his waist so he couldn’t move. He pulled the knife out of his shoulder and stabbed him right in his chest. 

Sooyoung’s white dress shirt was soaked with blood and Jungkook got off of him, wiping his forehead but smearing blood on it. Jimin opened the door and yelled for everyone to get out so he and the others stayed behind to clean. 

“Jungkook, what happened?” Yoongi asked, looking over his body. 

“Stab wound to my thigh, I think that’s it.” He replied while staring at the dying body below him. Sooyoung coughed and tried to reach for a gun that was laying on the ground but Jungkook kicked it away with his foot and the remaining life left in Sooyoung slipped away. 

Jungkook took a seat and Namjoon already knew what to do. His hand wrapped around the handle tightly and the other pushed on Jungkook’s thigh. 

“Three.. Two..” Namjoon didn’t even get to one before he pulled the knife out and immediately started applying pressure. 

“Fuck!” Jungkook yelled and grabbed onto the arms of the chair. Namjoon’s hands were covered with blood and he bit his lip as Jungkook struggled to stay conscious. Yoongi grabbed onto Jungkook’s sleeve and ripped it so he could tie it around his thigh tightly. 

“I need to see (Y/N),” Jungkook said standing up and using the wall to stay stable. 

“What Jungkook? No, you need medical attention.” Namjoon said, stepping in front of the door. 

“Let me see (Y/N)!” He said sternly before pushing Namjoon out of the way and limping out to his ride. He paid someone to drive him to her apartment and by the time he arrived it was 2 in the morning. 


A tired (Y/N) opened the door and she was in one of his t-shirts. “Jungkook?” You gasped and pulled him inside quickly. 

“What happened?“ 

”(Y/N), I need help.“ He avoided your question and you led him into the bathroom and slowly stripped him of his clothes. 

He sat there in his boxers as you wiped away the blood from him and grabbed your first-aid kit from underneath the sink. You used some alcohol to clean where the bullet grazed his shoulder and you almost cried when you saw his thigh. 

“Jesus.” You whispered and very slowly dabbed the alcohol onto it in which Jungkook tried his best not to yell. 

“I need stitches.” He could barely speak and you nodded and grabbed a needle and thread and tried the best you possibly could. 

When you were finished, Jungkook was laid in your bed and you were cleaning the blood in the bathroom. 

“You doing okay?” You asked when you stepped back into the room. 

“For now.” He nodded, the pain meds were finally kicking in. 

“Now, tell me what the fuck happened to you.“ 

He said nothing.

You crossed your arms over your chest and looked patiently at Jungkook.

“Look Jun-”

Drive Safely (Jeff Atkins x Reader)

Originally posted by wkom

A/N. JEFF DESERVES BETTER! And because of this, and because I am trash, I rewrote the ending of episode 9 - Clay doesn’t leave, Hannah and Sheri don’t knock over the stop sign, and everyone is safe. I hope you guys like it, and I am more than willing to take requests. Feel free to message me guys. Let’s cry together.

WORD COUNT: 3,420

Alright, enjoy!


The music was blasting, the beer was flowing, and Jessica and Justin were on the verge of procreating on the couch. (Y/n) rolled her eyes at the two sophomores and squeezed through the crowd, balancing the two drinks in her hands as she weaved around the drunk teenagers. She finally made it outside, sucking in a breath of the cooling autumn air and sighing. She was pretty sure Monty had brushed up against her ass. Horny asshole.

She looked around the far less populated, but still crowded, front yard, picking out her boyfriend from the way his poofy hair stood out above everyone else. He was talking to Clay, and as she approached she saw him roll his eyes violently, his whole body swaying with the force of it.

Damn Jensen, she thought with a laugh, you’re gonna break my boyfriend of you and Hannah don’t bang soon.

Keep reading

the taste of your cherry chapstick

Summary: Punk!Phil has a crush, so when Pastel!Dan is manning a kissing booth for a school event, he finds himself showing up with a pound in his pocket.

Word count: 5364

Warnings: food

A/N:  Special thanks goes to Harley (@danslester) for giving me the idea for this fic and encouraging me as I was writing it, and to Gisele (@fringegaps) for reading it over and promising it was okay to post. (Also let me know if you’d be interested in seeing more of this version of Dan and Phil because they were fun to write and I have a few ideas.)

(Ao3 link)

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the bike shorts incident

Zimbits | Fluff & Crack | 3.2k | AO3

Bitty gets a series of texts from Jack just minutes before their shared class is due to start. Bitty is alarmed for several reasons—Jack’s preference for sending single texts, and the fact that Jack is normally in class before Bitty at the top of the list.

Jack 9:56 Are there seats in the back row?

Jack 9:57 Can you move to the back row and save me one

Jack 9:57 Near the door on the east side

Jack 9:57 Please

Jack 9:58 ??

Bitty isn’t sure what’s going on, but he gathers his stuff quickly, dumping it into his bag, and heads to the back row near the specified door, trying to type as he goes.

Bitty 9:59 I’ve moved. Got a seat for you. Everything okay?

Jack 9:59 Is anyone near you?

Bitty looks around.

Bitty 10:00 A few people further down the row, and about five rows in front. Teacher just walked in and is setting up.

Bitty looks around to the door, holding his phone in case it buzzes again with a message from Jack.

The teacher calls the class to attention and there’s still no sign of Jack. It’s not like him to miss class. Bitty wants to go out and find him to see what’s going on, but he can’t now that the teacher has seen him. He gets out his books and pen again, and focuses to the front, keeping his phone visible on the desk just in case.

He keeps an ear out for the door, and just as Professor Miao begins her lecture, he hears it opening. It’s almost like Jack was waiting until he knew she’d started.

Jack sticks his head through the gap and looks around nervously. He meets eyes with Bitty, who raises eyebrows at him, trying to get some clue as to what Jack’s been texting him for. As Jack pushes the door open slowly, and hurries quietly in, practically tiptoeing over to the seat Bitty has saved for him, Bitty thinks he knows what Jack’s been worried about.

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parkjiminbiased  asked:

hey so i know you do head canons and i was wondering if you'd write an andreil one about them adopting a kid thanks

i have this issue where i start headcanons and they end up being fics so enjoy

  • Okay so Neil and Andrew are on the same professional Exy team
  • They live in like the small urban part of Missouri or something, and they have a lot of free time because it’s the off season
  • So Andrew goes to the library every afternoon like clockwork
    • He’s studying up on law and entertaining the idea of going to law school after they retire 
    • Neil tags along sometimes and loves browsing the crime/mystery section
  • The library workers recognize them as the famous exy-playing assholes, but they’re all older women who have nothing better to do than gossip behind the desk
  • Mary, the senior librarian, runs the children’s programs during the summer and makes sure to invite all the kids from the nearby elementary school
  • It’s raining pretty hard outside when Neil and Andrew stumble in one afternoon during Mary’s dramatic reading of The Fox and the Hound
  • Andrew saunters off upstairs while Neil heads to the bathroom so he can wring out their wet raincoats 
    • (Nicky got them matching raincoats for Christmas that year, insisting that he needed to “keep up the theme”)
    • (Andrew refuses to wear the matching red rain boots)
  • Neil hears muffled crying from one of the stalls, interrupted every now and then by a small hiccup
  • He knocks hesitantly on the stall door
  • “I’m in here!” the kid shouts
  • “Everything okay?”
  • “Uh.. yeah,” he sniffles, “I think”

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Carousel | 05

Character: Min Yoongi x reader (oc)

Genre/words: Angst, Implied smut, Arranged Marriage! AU / 10,288 words

Summary: He is the successor of his family’s business empire, and you are the female heir of yours. After the trouble his older brother had created in the past, he now must face certain requirements needed for the sake of the family’s future and to save his rights of inheritance, and you become his only way out. Everything might seem so simple, just the way they are supposed to. But everything isn’t always what it seems, is it?

Playlist | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05

Cr.


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The Story Of A Girl Who Has A Crush On A Cute Cashier

“It’s okay, you can do this, talk to her. She’s just a girl. Just a gal. Like you. There’s nothing weird about this. She’s human, you’re human. Everything should be fine.” I whispered to myself until I noticed what I was doing and stopped. I approached the front desk and looked at the cute cashier.

I only gave her a glance but it was enough to see what I wanted to see. I saw her beautiful neon blue hair, her adorable freckles and her pink eyes. I saw the little chub to her cheeks and I saw the smirk on her face as she played a game on her phone while waiting for customers. I saw enough to know I was in love.

“Hello.” I said, and my voice cracked. I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. I put down my things on the counter and remained quiet.

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Bad Behavior

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Modern AU)

Word Count: 587

Warnings: suggestive themes

A/N: Still writing a drabble for every song on Lovely Little Lonely because I’m still not over how perfect it is…and I may or may not be avoiding my coursework. Anyhow, this drabble is based on the song ‘Bad Behavior’ by The Maine. Enjoy :)

Originally posted by ensigncris

“Am I distracting you, darling?” Sighing deeply, your gaze drifted over to the man laying on his bed, a smirk playing on his lips. “I never wanna be a distraction." 

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Unshared Experiences

((People had asked @what-are-even-humans about “aliens reacting to humans getting their period”. I decided to write it instead. I don’t get into much detail here, so hopefully it won’t squick anyone out.))

Ineke knew that Ch'iehqry wasn’t female. Xir species had two biological sexes, but neither of them corresponded directly to “male” or “female”. Ch'iehqry likewise knew that Ineke wasn’t kholdreis, humans were neither kholdreis nor uelprain. Still, Ch'iehqry’s voice and facial features resembled that of a human female, and Ineke’s voice and personal scent made her seem kholdreis.

They were more-or-less coworkers, and then friends, and then recently flatmates, but sometimes it was difficult to remember what experiences they wouldn’t have shared.


When Ineke came through the door, she groaned and flopped down into the nearest chair. “Bring me one of those blue capsules and some water, that’d be awesome,” she mumbled.

Ch'iehqry was familiar with the ‘blue capsules’; they were Ineke’s ingestible analgesic compounds, the equivalent of xir orange pastes. “Rough shift?” xe sympathetically asked.

“It’s that time of the month again,” Ineke said, and sighed. “Thanks.”

“Oh, is this when your sector starts invoicing?”

“What? No, it’s – right, you wouldn’t know. No, it’s just that my period started again.”

Ch'iehqry frowned. “I have a feeling I won’t like what I hear, but what exactly is that? All I remember of that word, in a human-specific context, is a half-heard joke that got its teller reprimanded and assigned anti-harassment education.”

Ineke grinned weakly. “That was Leendert. He’s learned since then. And yeah, you probably won’t like what you hear, most humans don’t either. It’s a female-specific thing, and it’s annoying.”

“What do I need to know?”

Ineke idly tapped her fingers; her face was no longer tense, so presumably the analgesics had been quickly effective. “I’m not a doctor, but this is what I learned. It might be wrong. For a bit each month, roughly, my body is fertile, and if I don’t get pregnant – reproducing with a new child growing inside – in that time, then my body removes its… preparation stuff. I don’t know, the health teacher was stuttering and blushing at that bit. It can get messy, but I have my products to deal with it, so that won’t be a problem. It also hurts, somewhat. Some women are really lucky and only experience mild discomfort that’s soon over, for some the pain is crippling while it lasts. I’m somewhere in the middle. As long as we haven’t run out of anything unexpectedly, I should be fine, just a bit grumpier.”

“How long will this last?” Ch'iehqry asked, starting to run calculations in xir mind. Xe might have to make adjustments to their shared budget, depending.

“How long will I be grumpy? I’m generally feeling okay after the second day of it, and the sanitary routines aren’t much extra. How long will I keep getting my period for? Barring pregnancy or medical problems, a few days every month-ish until menopause. When a female is no longer fertile. Which I think would happen in my fifties, maybe forties, I haven’t looked it up,” Ineke said.

“For the amount of facts which you are unsure on, you seem remarkably confident about others,” Ch'iehqry noted.

Ineke shrugged. “It’s my body, I live with it. I may not know why something happens, but I know what it does. Like, you can move your hand and grab something, but do you actually understand all the muscle and tendon action involved in that?”

Ch'iehqry raised xir forehead ridge, in a gesture xe had borrowed from xir human coworkers. It was so incredibly expressive and perfectly communicated so many emotions. “Yes, I do understand the muscles and tendons and ligaments and nerves involved in hand motions. I have studied them intently, and you know it.”

“Right, robot limb engineer, that’s just the expression I use most often.”

Xe considered the issue. “I suppose a more accurate comparison would be olfactory senses, or perhaps the digestive system. I am aware of what is sufficient, insufficient, pleasurable, and painful, yet not familiar with the mechanics behind them. Still, it seems quite unpleasant that your body would have such a focus on reproduction, when you are not desirous of such at the moment.”

Ineke made an expansive gesture. “Bodies. They’re annoying like that.”

Ch'iehqry remembered xir last fasting cycle. Even though nourishment had been readily available, xir body still had involuntarily gone into a decreased metabolic state to preserve energy. “I agree.”

Committed The Robbery

Pairing: Y/N/Gangmember!Ashton

Rating: NC-17

Request: Yes

Words: 3.000+

Summary: On a scale from 1 to shit, how fucked would Ashton be if he ended up banging the other gangmember Luke’s little sister Y/N?

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