- forensic files narrator: ... and he left his finger prints on the door knob...
- me eating my 5th mozzarella stick: you absolute fucking idiot
when you turn in a student ID you found lying on a walkway to the card office -- ignoring the way the photo flickers under your fingers and the printed name runs like water -- and you start receiving anonymous Tokens of Appreciation. your roommate has since demanded a housing change. :D