fine meats

hyratel replied to your post:

does DPh imprint update/grow with him over time? so will he grow up on a conventional physical timescale, with the offsets of Phantom Time?

This one I’ve figured out less about… since Danny makes new matter every time he transforms, it could follow that his ghost body would age naturally with him aside from the black and white hazmat suit (which is a purely ideological structure and not actually as molecularly complex as real clothing).

Something weird that might happen because of all this: since Ghosts only grow/change their default bodies in abrupt shifts, if Phantom got a “growth spurt” it might physically translate into Fenton’s human body when he turns back? In this scenario Vlad had a similar ghostly growth spurt, which is why Plasmius looks so different than Masters, and he had to master some amount of shape-shifting in order to still appear as a regular fangless human when he turns back. Either that or major ghost-body changes don’t factor into the “coding” for their human forms, in the same way Danny’s hazmat suit doesn’t. It would be pretty funny if Danny destroyed his clothes and made a new hazmat suit every time he transformed though, he would have SO MANY HAZMATS. DANNY BECOMES HIS OWN CLOTHES FACTORY, SELLS THEM ON EBAY FOR 100% PROFIT MARGIN

Also Danny definitely stops aging as Phantom, since going ghost halts his regular biological processes. The more time he spends as Phantom the slower he’s going to grow up and mature, he’ll probably wind up still looking like a teenager in his 20s and have an unnaturally long life. Also if his meat body dies Phantom will probably continue to exist so… Danny is functionally immortal as well?

d twenty

            There’s a certain kind of student that takes well to the university. After a few months, they’ll refer to themselves as Paladin- offering the stoic defense of their blade (a pocketknife) to the ignorant and irritated alike. Or they’ll go by Wizard- doling out meaningless advice in the most sagely tone they can manage. The Gentry will find them endearing. The students will count the days until they try to smite a Good Neighbor. They will notice neither of these reactions, and live nose-deep in yellowed Monster Manuals. Third Edition.

            Perhaps you’ll befriend one on a late Thursday night. You’ll be studying in a common room, and they’ll grab your hand, promising that if you do them a slight favor you’ll never have to study again. You will find this foreboding. You will also remember, however, that everyone older than you referred to these guys as “harmless” and “hopelessly bemused”. And you weren’t really in the mood to study anyways.

            They’ll lead you to an unused classroom. Some of their number are already there- a plump man in a plumper wizard hat, a tattooed girl playing with tarot cards, two bespectacled lovers with matching waist-length hair. Art majors, then.

             You’re handed a spreadsheet. It’s one for Slyck the Uncanny, three-eyed trickster with two levels in Unseen Seer. There’s something scratched out beside the words “Player Name”. You carefully write your name in, leaving a little smiley-face next to it. And the game begins!

            The night passes in a blur of corrupt magisters, prisons, prison breaks, raids on the magister’s estate, and secret libraries. You predict the weak points in the Kyton’s defensive matrix, and the Fighter that brought you here impales it on a cursed blade. Cheers! The screams of slain devils! The magister, now free of abyssal control, rewards you with a feast and an wagonload of gold. And as you all rest in their estate- swollen with praise and fine meats alike- you dream of something changed. Three levels, now.

            You don’t know quite how you got home that night. You certainly haven’t seen any of the adventurers since. All that you know is that the words you added to the character sheet- Divination Spell Power, written beneath lines each in a different handwriting- aren’t ones you can forget. Algebraic proofs now slip from your mind. People joke that you’re another Craig, who bartered away his knowledge of calculus for irresistible eyes. But when you sit down for exams you see nothing but the correct answers, emblazoned on the page.

            And when you walk the campus, you notice more Good Neighbors than you did before. You don’t meet their eyes. A single game with the Adventurers doesn’t make you one.

            You plan on surviving these four years, after all.

———————————————————————————————————

got a little inspired by the snippets on D&D! thank you :)

x

I don’t think we talk enough about how completely dramatic Kaz Brekker is. Like just this quote alone :

“I don’t hold a grudge. I cradle it. I coddle it. I feed it fine cuts of meat and send it to the best schools. I nurture my grudges, Rollins.”

Who does this ? How long did it take you to come up with that Kaz?

Honestly 

Kaz Brekker to-do list :

  • adore Inej Ghafa
  •  The MostTM

zelinkslullaby  asked:

I'm always ready to scream about zelink gimme some cuddly headcanons

YOOOOOOOO sametbh when am I not yelling about zoldo and Lonk

Here’s a few headcanons to tickle your fancy-

* Link might be a glutton for all food, but seeing Zelda ravage a fruitcake entirely makes his heart beat faster. Guy loves a girl who can appreciate fine dining like meat on a stick or a veggie omelette.

* Zelda was a big dancer back before the calamity, and sometimes when she’s bored she starts to swing around and waltz around Link, prompting him to take her by the hands and spin her around as they walk through the woods. Most of the time they get carried away and once they accidentally ran into a boko camp which was an Experience™

* Zelda likes to read before she sleeps and Link sometimes just makes himself comfortable with his head in her lap as her voice lulls him to sleep

* Link buying Zelda a Sheikah armor set (for stealth training he says but 👀)

* Link waking up late one morning and seeing Zelda in nothing more than his tunic makes him weak at the knees. She’s not dumb either she knows the effect she has on him and continues to torture this man because the outcome is fantastic

* Link adopts a stable pup for him and Zelda and she lovingly refers to it as their child. She spoils the damn thing though so when he’s eating the dog is right next to him and he can’t help but share his food.

(´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`) I love them so much

dabard95  asked:

Wait a second. Pigeon dating sim? You've played Hatoful Boyfriend? I... I honestly can't say I'm surprised. Somehow anyone that is interested in the holy trinity of Anime, Video Games and The Same Sex inevitably finds their way to everybirdies favorite/most hated dating sim. The question of the week though, is have you treated yourself to Dream Daddy?

Yes, I have.  I ignored all the fine specimens of man meat and went straight for Goth Dad.

Reasons to read Crooked Kingdom it has quotes like this:

  • “I’ll tell you a secret, Hanna. The really bad monsters never look like monsters.”
  • She was Inej Ghafa, and she would not quiver like a rabbit in a snare.
  • “I would come for you,” he said, and when he saw the wary look she shot him, he said it again. “I would come for you. And if I couldn’t walk, I’d crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we’d fight our way out together— knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that’s what we do. We never stop fighting.”
  • “You aren’t a flower, you’re every blossom in the wood blooming at once. You are a tidal wave. You’re a stampede. You are overwhelming.”
  • We can endure all kinds of pain. It’s shame that eats men whole.”
  •  When the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway.
  • “Suffering is like anything else. Live with it long enough, you learn to like the taste.”
  • She smiled then, her eyes red, her cheeks scattered with some kind of dust. It was a smile he thought he might die to earn again.

It also has quotes like this:

  • No mourners, no funerals? Why not just say good luck or be safe?”
    “We like to keep our expectations low.”
  • “And stop scurrying. You couldn’t look guiltier if you were performing the role of Thief Number Three in a penny play on East Stave.“
  • “But she’s one of us.”
    Jesper’s brows rose again. “One of us? Does that mean she knows the secret handshake? Does that mean you’re ready to get a tattoo?”
  • “Do we all get to do what we want now?” asked Jesper. “Because I have a list.”
  • “Has anyone noticed this whole city is looking for us, mad at us, or wants to kill us?”
    “So?” said Kaz.
    “Well, usually it’s just half the city.”
  • “How about we just knock them over the head?” “Sophisticated. I like it.”
  • “Isn’t that how things are done around here?” asked Wylan. “We all tell Kaz we’re fine and then do something stupid?”
  • “Why do gods always like to be worshipped in high places?” Kaz muttered. 
  • “You can’t run from this forever.”
    “Watch me.”
  • “Will there be champagne?” Nina finished the last of the crackers, licking her fingers. “I’ll be there, and I’m effervescent.”
  • “I don’t hold a grudge. I cradle it. I coddle it. I feed it fine cuts of meat and send it to the best schools. I nurture my grudges, Rollins.”

Don't ask questions if you don't want answers

Ok so last night I had the worst customer of my 3 years in customer service so its 8:15 I’ve been at work since 12 and I had 45 minutes to go and I just want to clean and go home cause it was a busy sunday so this regular strolls up (who’s been here for an hour already and orders a crap ton of meat) and this is pretty much what went down
Me: *in an exhausted tone* what can I get for you!
Customer: you guys closed?
Me: nope you got about 45 minutes what can I get for you!
Customer proceeds to lose his collective shit and tells me I’m supposed to say “hi how can I help you” not “you have 10 minutes gtfo” and I tried to repeatedly tell him I was just letting him know he had plenty of time and I wasn’t trying to be rude but he just kept talking over me and threatend to get the manager which I wish he did so I didn’t have to deal with him and then he angrily ordered some meat

He’s fine after a minute and he’s talking to a customer behind him and I heard him mention customer service so I think he told the lady I had poor customer service cause she just gave me uncomfortable looks while I served her and before he left he had the audacity to say have a nice night I just said you too cause I didn’t want to hear him yell again but like dude I’m sorry you got a tiny penis but don’t bitch at me cause I answered a question and after I finished a few customers after him I just collapsed into a panic attack in the cooler and spent the rest of my shift crying and shaking while serving more customers and basically had a 3 hour panic attack which resulted in a relapse after being harm free for 9 months

Tldr: customer asks if we’re closed I tell him no he yells at me and threatens manager and I have a 3 hour panic attack

Forbidden Romance

Carter:17 Jayce:25

Hi l’m Jayce. A swimming coach at Saint Anthony’s boys school. I was formerly a student at there and I have returned to coach the current students of my old school. Some information about myself, I’m currently 25, have brown hair and brown eyes, am about 5 feet 6 and I’m gay. Been teaching the swimmers from the swim team for 3 years now so I have seen my share of hot and cute boys. Currently I have my eyes on Carter, the best of the swimmers. Even though he just joined one and a half years ago, he has helped the school win many competitions both nationally and internationally. To give you some information about Carter, he is currently 17 this year, is 5 feet 5, has dirty blond hair and blue eyes, and a lean swimmer’s bod. I would usually shower at the same time as Carter just to see him strip out of his swimming trunks. He would slide it down revealing his bubble butt and 5.5 inch uncut dick before going into a cubicle to shower. I would often fantasise about raping Carter, pulling down his trunks, grabbing his wet hair and fucking the life out of him…..the more I fantasised the more I wanted him. So I plotted……I would ask him to have extra training on Saturday morning to late afternoon. By then most activities in the school would be over. I would lace Carter’s water bottle with a pill that would make guys hard then I would strike. “Carter! Your performance has been lacking recently. I will need you to do extra training tomorrow. I told Carter. “Yes Sir! Anything to improve my performance. Replied Carter While Carter was busy swimming, quickly took out his bottle and crushed not one but 3 pills for caution and mixed it in his water bottle. After his training, Carter gluped down the entire bottle. Now all I have to do was to wait for the magic to happen. As Carter was packing his bag and going to the locker cum shower room, I noticed his bulge was getting bigger and bigger…..he must be as hard as a rock by now. I saw that Carter had became uneasy and rushed to the showers immediately. I knew I have to strike now. I barged into the showers and to my surprise I see Carter lying on the bench jerking off that raging boner of his. Carter saw me and stopped. He quickly sat upright and tried to explain to me. “Sir it’s not what you think….“Carter tried to explain ” Well looks like some one has a raging boner. Maby I can help with than.“ I said with a grin. “Just relax Carter” as I went between his legs, looking at that fine piece of meat before I licked it like a lollipop. “Sir, please stop doing it…I’m not gay” Carter begged me to stop. “How long have you not jerked off?” I asked Carter “ A week Sir….“Carter replied “Then you really need it” I told carter. I returned to suck his dick as I explored his chest, feeling his washboard abs before inching my way to his pecs. I began foundling with his nipples by twisting and rubbing them. This caused Carter to moan like a bitch. I knew he was enjoying every moment of it. Soon I felt his dick plusing, he was about to cum. I stopped. “Sir please….I need to cum…..“begged Jayce. “Not horny enough for me Carter.” “Turn around so I can see your ass” I instructed Carter. Carter had no choice but to oblige to me. He turned around, facing his ass infront of me. I am now thrilled to the brim. Not only did I suck his dick, I am going to pop his cherry. Using my pre-cum as lube. I gently inserted my dick into his ass. He moaned like a bitch as my entire 6 inch dick went inside of his hole. I pounded him hard and deep, hitting his prostate with every thrust. "Sir…..I’m going to cum!” Carter moaned as squirt after squirts of cum shot out of his dick . I came soon after releasing my load inside of Carter. Spent and tired, Carted laid on the floor. With cum oozing out of his hole, I gave him a kiss on his cheek before taking out a tube of cream from my bag…. "Wh…what is that?” Carter asked “ Something that would make you even sexier” I grinned. With that I squeezed a generous amount of cream into my hand before smearing it onto Carter’s pubic region,treasure trail and chest. Grabbing a hose nearby, I washed away the cream by rubbing it. This caused the hair around the area I rubbed to be hairless. Now Carter was as smooth as a baby…. “ Hair removal cream, Carter. Works the charm. Now you look hot and cute.” I told him. Carter was lost for words….he caressed his now hairless body, felling an arousal stirring inside him. “Sir, could you be my fuck buddy?” “I do not think I am ready for a relation at this point of time…..” “That’s ok."I replied, even though this was not the answer I was hoping for. From that day onwards not only did I train Carter to swim but also to become a bottom…and I do really must tell you, he excelled in both. But that is another story.

People always post about how they deserved better, you know self love and all. Don’t get wrong, it’s great I’m all for it, but I want to make a post about how they deserved better. About how she deserved better.

Because she did deserve better.

She met me at a party, and she instantly became hooked. She wanted to get to know me more and we had mutuals. At first we were just one night stands, I was fine with it and I thought she was too. Then she made her first mistake.

She told me she didn’t just want to be friends with benefits, she told me she wanted an actual relationship. And she was scared, scared because she had never been in an actual relationship with another girl before.

I didn’t like her, not in the way she did me. But that didn’t stop me, I said, ‘fuck it, why not? This could be fun’. And I proceeded to make her life hell.

She fell for me, she fell for me hard and fast. I know she hurt herself falling, and even when she fell all the way, the cuts and bruises from the fall were still fresh.

She loved everything about me, the way I talked, walked, the way I smiled, the way I laughed. She loved the way we fucked, how we kissed, she loved it all.

She hated how I would yell, how I would put her down, how I would ignore her texts and calls. She hated how I would be too rough sometimes, how I wouldn’t say 'I love you’ back.

But like I said, she fell for me. And the love she had for me was too strong to let my actions bother her.

She tried to fix things, telling me she would listen more, that we would have sex more often, that we could do whatever I wanted, eat out at the places I liked.

I always stayed, not because she meant anything to me, but because I enjoyed seeing her suffer, seeing her cry. Knowing that I had this much power over her. I rejoiced in it, if ai could, I would have taken a bath in her warm, salty tears.

She talked about marriage, she told me when I got out of highschool that we could get married and adopt kids. She said I could live in her apartment and she would buy me a car.

I was bored so I agreed. We made plans, many plans about the future. She meant every word she said, she looked forward to this often spoken future. I, on the other hand, couldn’t care less. She was a bore to me. Nothing but a fine piece of premium meat with some funny jokes here and there.

She was nice, nicest girl I’ve ever met, and she sure was pretty. She was smart. She was agile. She was caring. She was loving. And I destroyed her.

When I decided I had enough, after two years of us being 'in love’, I finally told her she didn’t mean a thing to me. I told her I never lived her, never liked her, never cared. I told her all the plans we made were bullshit on my part, and I made sure to tell her this in a way I knew would completely destroy her.

I ruined her will to live. She called me on the phone crying, saying she would kill herself. Asking me, no, pleading for me to help her. And you know what I did? I hung up.

She would be dead now if her sister hadn’t gone and surprised visited her. She stopped her from pulling the trigger and took her to get her stomach pumped. When I found out all I could say was, “okay”.

She deserved better. She really fucking did. Because she’s an amazing girl. She is. Her smile is so beautiful and bright. She loves so hard and will do anything to make you happy.

I don’t regret what I did to her, it was too much fun. But I do feel bad. I feel terrible. And I know I’m an awful person. I’m a horrible excuse of a girl. I’m pathetic. She wastes her time on me. She deserved better.

Maybe one day she’ll find a guy or a girl who knows how to treat her right, maybe one day she’ll have that light back in her eyes. Because it’s been 2 years, and I know she’s still in love, I know it still hurts. She deserved better.

—  Beauty in IT /// she deserved better

themirroredandblacknight  asked:

for prompts- Evan introducing Connor to everyone (jared, Heidi, Alana etc) after they start dating? it might be stupid idk

Not stupid at all! I actually love the fics with tree bros interacting with the other characters! This is mostly Evan introducing Connor to Heidi, but Jared is present! It’s hard to find an excuse to have Heidi in the same place as the high schoolers, but I hope you like it!

~

Connor had basically inhaled his cigarette. Evan raised an eyebrow at him. In reply, Connor rolled his eyes.
“Don’t judge me, Hansen.” He muttered.
Evan sighed. “I’m not judging you, Connor, I just wish you didn’t feel so stressed about this.” He explained.
Connor huffed out a sarcastic laugh, releasing the last of his cigarette smoke into the cool air. “Yeah, just me, your printer throwing screw-up of a boyfriend meeting your pretty blond nurse mom. Nothing to stress over.”
Evan took a deep breath of the fresher air before walking closer to his boyfriend and wrapping his arms around his waist. “You are not a screw-up! I told you to stop saying that. You know, you see yourself very differently from how I see you.” He said, looking up at the taller boy.
Connor sighed. “Yeah. But you’re weird.”
Evan laughed. “So are you.”
Connor raised an eyebrow and put his arm around Evan’s shoulders. “Touché.”
Evan rested his head against Connor’s shoulder. “You’re gonna be fine. And my mom’s gonna love you.”
“How do you know though?” Connor sighed.
Evan smiled at him. “Because my mom loves me. And I love you.”
Connor looked down at Evan and couldn’t help but smile, seeing the genuine smile on his boyfriend’s face. “Yeah well, I stand by my statement: you’re weird.”
~
“Oh Evan! I completely forgot to ask if Connor eats beans!” Heidi exclaimed, popping her head out of the kitchen.
Evan sighed. “Mom, I told you, he only doesn’t eat meat. He’s fine with everything else. I’m sure beans are fine.”
“I just want this to be perfect!” Heidi yelled as she retreated back into the kitchen.
Evan sighed once more. “Me too…” He whispered.
He loved his mother and he loved Connor, but he had never been in a room with both of them at the same time. Connor retreated into himself around anyone but Evan, while Heidi was giddy and outgoing around everyone. Evan didn’t want either of them to be uncomfortable. Evan felt the familiar wave of anxiety burn in his stomach.
Suddenly the doorbell rang. Evan swallowed his worry. Showtime.
He went to open the door and came face to face with… Jared?
“Hey there, acorn.”
Evan furrowed his brows. “Wh-what the heck are you doing here, Jared?” He asked, trying to convey annoyance but his nerves got in the way.
“As if I was gonna miss you introducing the school shooter to Heidi. Yeah right.” Jared scoffed and made his way past Evan and inside the house. Evan closed the door and ran after Jared.
“Why would you be here for that? And stop calling him…that!” He exclaimed.
“It was a joke, geez.” Jared said, raising his hands in his defense. “I’m here to get to know him too! I mean, I’d like to understand what the hell you see in him!” Jared explained. Evan questioned his motives and was just about to tell him to leave, when the doorbell rang again.
“Great.” He sighed and went to open the door.
His frustration faded as he pulled open the door to see his boyfriend standing there, holding flowers that looked like they had just barely survived a storm.
“What… Are those?” Evan asked, amused.
“They’re for your mom. And shut up.” Connor replied, blushing slightly. Evan laughed.
“Softie.” He teased. Connor rolled his eyes.
“I said shut up.” He murmured as he stepped inside and gave Evan a peck on the lips. Evan laughed again.
They were interrupted by a gagging sound. They turned to see Jared demonstrating sticking fingers down his throat. Evan rolled his eyes.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. What the hell is it doing here?” Connor asked, pointing at Jared.
“I wish I could answer that for you.” Evan replied.
“I wasn’t about to miss this!” Jared winked and flipped Connor off. Connor flipped Jared off right back, but looked even more uncomfortable than he did before. Evan felt bad for him.
Suddenly Heidi walked into the room. Jared grinned. Connor paled.
“Uh, so, mom, this is Connor, Connor… Mom.” Evan explained the obvious and awkwardly gestured between Heidi and Connor while making the introductions.
“Oh Connor! Welcome! I’m so glad you’re here!” Heidi exclaimed and walked up to Connor. Connor gulped and put out his hand to shake Heidi’s, but she surprised him by throwing her arms around the skinny boy. Connor stood frozen for a second before wrapping his arms around the small woman.
After she released him from the first hug he’d had with someone other than Evan in years, Connor reached out to basically push the slightly droopy flowers into Heidi’s hands.
“Thank you for inviting me, mrs. Hansen. Oh or is it ms. Hansen? Shit, I should’ve checked with Evan beforehand, right? Sorry. And sorry for saying shit… Twice.” Connor rambled and blushed deeply.
Evan was speechless. He’d never seen his intimidating bad boy boyfriend so flustered before.
“Oh Heidi’s fine, sweetie and don’t worry about a thing!” Heidi said and padded Connor’s back. “Aren’t you a gentleman!” She said, examining the flowers. Evan followed the interaction from the side and he felt relieved. His mom was sweet as ever and Connor, though way out of his comfort zone, seemed to be doing okay.
Heidi placed a hand on Connor’s cheek and looked at him with shiny eyes. “I’m so glad to meet the wonderful boy who’s made my Evan so happy.” She said in a soft voice, so that only Connor heard her. Evan was left wondering if there were words exchanged during the gesture.
Connor felt like he couldn’t catch his breath. Never had someone who didn’t know him react so warmly to meeting him. She thought he made Evan happy? That was the highest compliment Connor could think of. He had no idea how much and what Evan had told Heidi about him, but he decided right there and then that he would damn well do whatever it took to be worthy of that compliment.
He had no idea what to say to that, but luckily Heidi wasn’t expecting him to reply, but gave Connor a warm smile before turning away.
“Oh, Jared, you’re here too! Good thing I made enough food for a small army. Now, who’s hungry?” She clapped her hands together and walked back towards the kitchen, smelling the flowers Connor gave her as she went. Jared skipped right after her, having immediately perked up at the mention of food.
Evan turned to Connor. “You okay?” He asked. Connor stared after Heidi.
“I said shit twice in front of your mom and she called me ‘sweetie’.” He mumbled.
Evan chuckled. “Yep.”
Connor blew out a breath. “Wow.”
Evan took Connor’s hand. “Hungry?”
Connor looked at his boyfriend and smiled. He no longer felt as nervous as he did a minute ago. He was actually quite excited to get to know Heidi. And he was willing to ignore Kleinman’s presence to achieve his goal.
He squeezed Evan’s hand tightly.
“Yeah. Let’s go.”

~ If you have any ideas for deh prompts, send them my way! My inbox is open! xx