find the queer one!

8

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skelo-saurus  asked:

Yo someone's trying to tell me Hussie is a racist and hates disabled people but has absolutely no evidence. What do I do?

You gotta decide for yourselves whether people in the year of our lord 2017 should be judged entirely by the words and thoughts and ideas they put out into the world years ago in different life stages. Like. This isn’t a problem that’s going to go away. Increasingly now the history of people’s entire life journey is accessible via some social media snap shot in the wayback machine or some ancient chat log sitting on someone’s hard drive out there. We don’t all start from the same place. A lot of us start from positions of privilege, from systems learned from parents or other family or institutions with power over us that influence our way of thinking when our brains are first developing the capacity for empathy and understanding. 

And we grow. And we create. And we experience things. And we talk with people. We make friends. We read feedback. We listen to some and we disregard others, and years later, some (but by no means all) of what we disregarded we might think about again and realize was good feedback and helpful advice. 

Our opinions change. Our understanding of our own privilege changes. Our understanding of media and propaganda and narrative and power structures and justice change. Our biases shift. Our politics change. Our worldviews are shaped by our conversations and our experiences and the things we take to heart and the things we lock outside. 

Hussie used to interact heavily with the fandom. There is so much text from him out there saved in archives that has been pored over again and again and again by people with axes to grind, people with their own agendas, people who feel wronged and hurt and ignored by someone they maybe once respected and looked up to. 

Anyone with that much text over that long a period of time has something fucking problematic out there waiting to hang them, I guarantee it. Back in 2012 the r-slur and the a-slur were common slang used by elementary school kids, let alone ppl frequenting the various rancid asscracks of the internet. Then awareness campaigns took root and opinions and language shifted for the better and suddenly a lot of text written without that mindfulness started looking really nasty, didn’t it?

We as a society are going to have to make some hard decisions in the very near future about how much rope we need when we’re eyeing those gallows for people we feel wronged by. How much someone’s opinion now means when their opinion five years ago might have been the exact opposite. How much good faith to extend to people who grow and change and understand their younger selves had some Bad Opinions about the world, but can’t erase the words they said, and have to live with them for the rest of their lives because people looking for ammunition can find it in ample supply. How much someone’s actions now count for weighed against their words in another fucking life. 

There are quotes out there where Hussie said some stupid shit. There are a million words of Hussie quotes out there. I don’t know how old you are, but if you’re an adult, I can almost guarantee you that you can go back some number of years and remember a version of you that you’d be terrified of the internet finding today.

The dude gave us one of the most queer-positive, transformative and engaging pieces of media of all time. It wasn’t perfect and he wasn’t perfect because nothing and no one is. The queer community is always so goddamn hypercritical of its prolific creators, in part because we’re desperate for the things we want and never get and it’s so frustrating to find people who *almost* give you what you want – and god knows the mainstream media isn’t listening, so where else do we have to turn but inward? We’re a stymied, frustrated group desperate for representation on all sorts of underrepresented axes of oppression and no one story is ever going to satisfy everyone. But Homestuck was so big, so expansive and meant so much to so many - of course there’s a lot of bitter disappointment out there. 

How much rope do we need to hang someone? How much history do we need to build a gallows out of plank by fucking plank to feel morally justified? 

It’s up to you.

Clearing stuff up about my sexuality

So ever since the pride video many people think that I am fully asexual, which is fine but I want to clear some stuff up about my identity. I used to identify as fully asexual, but then I feel in love for the first time and it changed. That’s when I found out that I’m demi-sexual. I’ve been getting a lot of asks about being asexual but I don’t feel like I’m the best person to ask, because I’m not fully asexual. People have also been asking about my gender preferences, like who I’m attracted to. I don’t have a super clear answer, I identify as queer because I know I find more than one gender attractive.

Terms I’ve used that people way not know:
• Asexual: someone who lacks sexual attraction.
• Demi-sexual: someone who doesn’t feel sexual attraction until after a strong emotional bond has formed ( love for instance)
• Queer: This term was used as a slur, but many people in the lgbt+ community have reclaimed it as their own. The reclaimed version is used as an umbrella for people who are not straight.

anonymous asked:

Do you have any recommendations for good queer mangas yourself? I've often found myself in the same position, it's so hard to find good queer media of any kind.

Their Story (Tamen de Gushi) is one of my favourites because of how sweet and funny it is. Fantastic humour and characters it’s about two high school girls falling in love (plus some great gay sideplots too). The art is really expressive and pretty and its all in colour. -ongoing-

Hidamari ga Kikoeru is a slow burn set in college about two guys, one of which is severely hearing impaired. It handles the subject of disabilities really realistically with respect and care, veering far away from using it as a cheap romance trope. The art is pretty appealing and despite it getting a little drama-y it has a good message and very sweet romance. -ongoing-

Doukyuusei (Classmates) is about two very different high school boys crossing paths. It has a great vibe and sweet characters, as well as a really beautifully done movie. The artstyle is different in a nice way, though I’ll admit its more appealing in the movie than the manga (the manga has moments where the anatomy feels off) but I still recommend both. -completed-

Both Seven Days (completed) and Okosama Star (ongoing) are cute, and despite dipping a bit into drama cliches like misunderstandings and overreactions I still like them. Though in the case of Okosama Star I mainly liked how the mouths were drawn lmao and I’m a sucker for characters that look scary but are sweet. I also remember really liking Slow Starter (ongoing) despite its more lacking art style at the beginning though it gets better, and if memory serves me correctly it has some extra one-shots in it too. I think Gunjou No Subete (completed) was a nice read too but its been a long time so i could’ve totally forgotten parts ‘3′

This is all I can really think of atm. I really wish i knew of more good queer girl love stories/shoujo ai, but there’s so many anime girl tropes that turn me off that its harder to root through (so if you have any recommendations I’d love to hear em!) Tbh i kinda avoid the yuri/yaoi tagged works in general since they’re often too uncomfortably fetish-y and obviously written for a straight audience for me, but even then there’s a couple gems here and there.

Something about the dark.
Something about queer bodies
and the way we find one another.
Something about the place where fear
melts in the mouth and gets lost in kisses
and under fingernails.
Something about the sanctity of trust,
of midnight confessions,
of held breath let out on a sigh
like a smoke signal,
a safe harbor.
Some kind of magic.
The kind that’s only
for us.
—  QUEER GOSPEL AND TRANS HYMNALS by Ashe Vernon
2

Who doesn’t enjoy Stargayzing and “Astrology”, right?

Finally getting into the Queer Girl Literature, and finding great things!

One of the Highlights was for sure @sieramaley. Taking Flight is such an AMAZING CUTE BOOK and I love Cammie and Lauren SO MUUUCH! <3 If you have a chance you should totally read it, specially if you’re thirsty for adorably sweet and good teen rom-com stuff. 

_____
Please Do Not Repost Anywhere Else :)
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there is just SO MUCH transmisogyny in every queer female space

like i have honestly yet to find one space for lesbian/bi/pan/queer women that wasn’t based on extremely transmisogynist notions of who the space was for (which is why there often tended to be more afab non-women in queer women’s spaces than actual trans women??!?)

and even when spaces do specifically state that they are inclusive of trans women (in theory), there is usually an undercurrent of casual transmisogyny

in many cases, rather than feeling support or solidarity from the cis women in the space, trans women constantly feel that they have to prove that they are feminine/cis-passing/feminist/~radical~ enough to be allowed in the space, and are made to feel guilty if they don’t live up to the arbitrary standards

even when trans women are allowed in to queer female spaces, their sexuality is still viewed as being inherently more “predatory”/entitled/dangerous than cis women… even when cis queer women are behaving in far more predatory manners

i hate it

anonymous asked:

what are the best ways to read these books if I'm closeted and can't check out physical books and my library's ebook selection is very limited when it comes to lgbt books? I don't want to find a illegal copy online but I can't find any other way? I feel terrible but I'm desperate to be able to read books with representation

<3 I definitely understand that dilemma, and it’s not an uncommon one. If it’s safe to, you can try requesting your library buy more ebooks; oftentimes they’ll make purchases based on patron requests. If not, I can’t tell you how to get free books; obviously you know piracy sites exist, but in addition to not being able to endorse them, I actually…just don’t know where to find good ones anyway.

What I really strongly recommend is taking out books that are what I call “Under the Gaydar” - books no one can tell from the cover or copy are queer. Sometimes it’s just totally subtle, and sometimes it’s a single storyline buried in multiple points of view, but you’d be amazed how many really satisfying LGBTQIAP books are out there that aren’t remotely advertised as such.

Here are a bunch:

Contemps/Thrillers with darker themes and queer-girl main characters: https://lgbtqreads.com/2016/04/08/under-the-gaydar-bad-girls-edition/ (and since writing that post, I’d also add A Good Idea by Cristina Moracho)

Heartbreakers: https://lgbtqreads.com/2016/05/02/under-the-gaydar-heartbreaker-edition/ (These are admittedly kinda emotionally torturous, but really good, and all have queer-girl MCs)

Fantasy Worlds: https://lgbtqreads.com/2016/05/23/under-the-gaydar-ya-fantasy-worlds/ (There’s at least one queer main character in each of these, and in most cases, a romance)

Bi-ding Their Time: https://lgbtqreads.com/2017/05/11/under-the-gaydar-bi-ding-their-time/ (All of these books have bi protags, and nope, not even Adam Silvera’s reveals that anywhere on the cover) (A bunch of those aren’t out until October 3rd, but there’s something to look forward to!)

A few others:

Cherry by Lindsey Rosin has four POVs - think the movie American Pie but all girls, including one who’s finding out she’s queer. 

Highly Illogical Behavior by John Corey Whaley - the main character is gay

I Hate Everyone But You by Gaby Dunn and Alison Raskin - one of the two main characters goes through a questioning journey in college and tries on different labels and has multiple relationships (with women and a trans guy, IIRC) before settling on queer

Ask Me How I Got Here by Christine Hepperman is a great YA novel in verse with a protag who starts off in a relationship with a guy and then ends up in a relationship with a girl

Run by Kody Keplinger has BFF protags alternating POVs and one of them is bisexual

Also, if you have a friend with an ereader, a lot of books have lending capabilities, so they can share with you for…two weeks, I think? You can see on Amazon whether a book is lendable by looking under Product Details for Lending: Enabled. So if you can read ebooks, asking a friend to borrow should be no big deal! (I don’t really have YA ebooks, but if you’re looking for older than YA, feel free to email me with what titles you’re looking for, and I’ll be happy to work out lending with you for whatever I own - lgbtqreads@gmail.com)

after the recent discovery that more than half the DDADDS dev team is queer, I suddenly find myself hoping that one of the dads is trans and you have the option to have a trans dadsona

and honestly I kinda hope Craig is the trans dad. he’s got the undercut. undercuts are trans culture.

cyberbeastswordwolfe  asked:

So I'm running into a bit of a problem with my love interest. A few of my early readers (two lesbian girls and a gay male) have said that they want the love interest to be Lesbian, but she's supposed to end up with the main character, who is male. I want to write the story and I want the main character (who is straight) in a relationship, but I'm worried that people will be upset that the main love interest isn't lesbian. What should I do?

Hmm.  Well, this could have something to do with your audience being queer (as a bi person, I tend to find myself rooting for queer couples to become canon more than straight ones, just because they’re less represented and feel fresher as a result) but if all of them are saying this, it could mean she and your main character just don’t have good chemistry or your main character isn’t likable enough to be a compelling romantic candidate.

My advice to you would be getting some more betas – I try to aim for fifteen to twenty myself – of varying genders and sexual preferences.  If most of them aren’t feelin’ it, there’s a problem that you need to lend serious thought to.

At this point, I would either edit the main character to be more sympathetic, and/or make the love interest a lesbian and give him a love interest who compliments his personality better.

Here is my post on writing relationships and here is my post on creating likable characters, along with types of male and female characters to avoid romanticizing. 

At the end of the day, however, it’s your story, and no one can or should write your story but you.  So ultimately, when all is said and done, my advice is to do what feels right.

Best of luck, and happy writing!  <3

anonymous asked:

IS jensen bi? (besides with Misha; everyone is gay for Misha)

Anonymous said: How do you know that Jensen’s father stifles who his son wants to be? (Body cues from Jensen, something he said?) I find the parallels with him and DeAn interesting.

okay, here are my thoughts on the matter. these are opinions/interpretations only. no offence is meant to anyone.

  • Jensen is a closeted bi-romantic bisexual
  • during seasons 1-3 of SPN, Jensen had a crush on Jared (seen in the way Dean looks at Sam in those first seasons, and that one time Jared joked “Jensen’s got a big ol’ crush on me” and Jensen was like “I’ve learned to hide the beans from [Jared] at lunch”).
  • now Jensen and Jared are platonic best-bros but Jared will occasionally tease Jensen about how he crushed on him before (Jared knows about Jensen’s sexuality which is why he’s so careful… most of the time)
  • Jensen is like Dean in that he forms close emotional bonds with other men (possibly stemming from internalised misogyny in which women are more like sexual playthings or romantic trophies rather than friends) (Danneel was different for Jensen which is why he married her)
  • obviously having close emotional bonds doesn’t mean someone’s bisexual
  • but then Misha happened
  • over seasons 4-10 of SPN, Jensen fell head-over-heels in love with Misha, starting with that first meeting while filming 4x01 (I’d call it love at first sight but it was more like “wtf at first sight”, and then it took years before Jensen got what Misha was about and began to appreciate his Misha-ness)
  • I think Misha is quite possibly the first guy Jensen’s fallen in love with
  • I think there were guy-crushes beforehand, maybe some experimentation in his late teens when he first moved to L.A. and was thrown into the acting industry, away from his parents for the first time, but I don’t think he ever allowed any attraction to men to develop beyond a close friendship.
  • we don’t exactly see Jensen flirt with other guys, but from what I have seen personally, Jensen has looked at at least two men in a way that comes across as horrendously sexual/romantic: Jared in seasons 1-3, and Misha after then.
  • Jensen cannot be open about his sexuality because a) he has a career to protect and being openly anything but straight could be a surefire way to kill his career as far as Jensen is concerned, b) his upbringing in a Christian Texan household, c) his father
  • don’t even get me started on Jensen’s father
  • seriously, the thing about straws (this photo was released, then later Jensen said this)
  • Jensen’s father is his hero in so many ways (think Dean + John, minus the childhood abandonment). what Daddy says is law.
  • Jensen’s father is homophobic (even if Jensen isn’t)
  • Jensen cannot do anything or say anything at a convention that would get back to his family (his mother watches con videos) so he is always reigned in, he’s always keeping up appearances
  • Jensen acts completely different around Jared as he does around Misha
  • his natural body language is flamboyant - and need I say it, kinda feminine? but he tamps down on that so fucking hard. I feel so bad for the poor pup
  • if he’s tamping down on that, what else is he trying to hide that comes completely naturally to him and has implications of stereotypical queerness?
  • (I can’t find it, but there was one video where a lady mentions that she was in Jensen’s trailer and was surprised that his natural voice is so much higher and his body language is a lot less ~manly~ than it is on screen and in interviews)
  • when the cameras aren’t on Jensen, he flirts with Misha. flirt level 3000. he does and says things too obscene for him to repeat to anyone else. apparently acting as straight as possible isn’t something that matters to him when he’s sure nobody outside of the SPN cast and crew are going to see it. that crew is like family to him, so if he goes a little too far, he knows they’ve got his back and they won’t go telling that story and outing him to the whole world.
  • but if he does that whole flirt-with-Misha-at-full-throttle thing in front of people (and he’s a shy person), what does he do when nobody’s looking at him and Misha? how does he act when they’re alone??
  • okay, so maybe none of this is actual evidence, but if you go into observing Jensen wearing your Jensen-is-a-closeted-bisexual goggles, so many things he does make sense. he does as much “I’M STRAIGHT. I’M STRAIGHT. I’M STRAIGHT” as Dean does, if not more, since Dean is following a script but Jensen has to constantly prove himself to an audience which includes his parents
  • Wincest and Destiel basically both started because Jensen has a pretty face and he uses it to flirt even when he doesn’t realise
  • he’s such a good actor; he knows when something is deemed as flirtatious but then he does it without realising
  • he does it a lot actually
  • Jensen is bisexual and nobody can convince me otherwise
Things I'm salty about

Reading an article about gay queer characters that have been censored and finding out one of them is Yosuke Hanamura from Persona 4. Because like….he’s so obviously gay for the protagonist? And apparently he was supposed to be romanceable but at the last second they cut from the final game. I have read any other articles to back this up but if it’s true it would have been amazing. And I’m so sad. Because the gayness is so obvious. And that’s probably why they Kanji so called struggling with his sexuality only to “end up” with a woman who is initially portrayed as wanting to be a man but really just wants to be taken seriously. And to she thought being a man was the only way?? Just. Just. I love this game but examining too closely really makes you question some shit.

Thoughts From a Tumblr Mom

By Tumblr user slowdissolve

My name’s Ann, I’m almost 48, and I live in a small town in the Midwest USA. I’ve been married 18 years, have two teenage children, and I’m bisexual.

I grew up in a small, religious, traditional area. I don’t say conservative, because it was the 1970’s, and I went to a tiny Catholic school run by the Sisters of St. Francis, which was and is a pretty progressive group of women. I seriously considered the convent for myself for many years.

The 1980’s arrived when I was in junior high, and the AIDS crisis was beginning as I entered high school. People did not come out. It was simply a thing one did not do. Gay people were the butt of jokes and lived in cities. I knew that I was different: I dressed in a butchy way, cut my hair short, didn’t wear makeup. I didn’t date, mostly because the small dating pool of boys was put off by my physical appearance (though fat wasn’t necessarily a deal breaker) and my intellect (which was). I had no clue if any of the other girls I knew at the time were attracted to other girls. They showed no sign of interest in me.

I had the good fortune to go to an Ivy League school. Yale was known in the League as the “gay Ivy”, and it was a transformative and positive experience. I met openly gay men for the first time. I don’t quite know why I didn’t meet any lesbians, but that may be because they were already paired off before I got a chance to meet them. I came out to my friends there as queer in my senior year, and it was very positive. By that time I’d realized that I’d been having crushes on other women. But at that point it might have been just a bit too late.

The most prominently out group on campus was gay men, and most gay content came from them. The AIDS crisis was an enormous factor in this visibility, and their writing and artwork was often sad, frightened, or militant because of this. The social climate of the outside world had not yet changed to be accepting.

What lesbian content I’d been exposed to was pornography created for a male gaze. It did not appeal to me. I was put off by it; I was out, but not comfortable being out anywhere but at school, and when I graduated, I went back in the closet. I knew that it was not a choice to be gay, but since I was bisexual I could still pass for straight and attempt a relationship with men after I graduated. I believed I could suppress my attractions.

In the few years between college and meeting my husband, the Internet did not have the reach it has today, and I simply didn’t know where to find other women like me. Finally I got internet access, and that’s where I met my husband. We are still happily married.

Being attracted to and married to a person of another gender didn’t end my attraction to my own gender. I hid those feelings and that part of my identity. I did tell my husband I was bi, but I’ve kept my marriage promise.

Seventeen years later, in 2016, I was sick of Facebook, and I decided to open a tumblr account because a college friend had been part of its creation. I had no idea what I’d find there.

Suddenly I was exposed to a deluge of artwork and fiction and meta discussion about all the things that interested me. My kids and I had very much enjoyed the Avatar: The Last Airbender and Avatar: Legend of Korra series, and I was surprised and pleased when I heard in the news that the lead character, Korra, was canon bisexual. So when I joined tumblr and found an entire community of people who enjoyed it so much they created new fan-driven content for it, I was at once delighted, enthralled, and at home.

I realized very quickly that much of the content was adult-themed; but though technically pornographic, it bore little resemblance to the videos I’d seen throughout my life. It had a completely different quality, because it had been created for and by women attracted to other women. It was gentler, sweeter, more affectionate. It was still very much sexual content, but it did not objectify women in the way that I had always seen before. It was incredibly easy to identify with the characters, and positively, and the fan works explored literature and artistic themes with queer characters where one would typically find straight characters.

My eyes were opened. Having married a man, I knew little about what my life might have been like if I’d been born 20 years later. Now I understood what I’d missed. It’s a great regret; a deep sadness that I can’t change, through no one’s fault.

At the same time, now I could enjoy things with a much more genuine feeling of fulfillment and identify much more closely with characters. I made friends in the fandom. They’re all younger than me, but sometimes I’m a mother they never had. I found nonbinary and trans kids and learned about their issues in a way I’d never known. I learned and learned and learned.

I found other fandoms, as well, and heard about movies and shows that I would never thought to watch before. All touched me in a way I never felt before.

I started creating art of my own. I’d received a degree in art 25 years before; now I was finally using it and making things I enjoyed and was deeply proud of. I had FUN making this art, which had been too rare an experience otherwise. My skills as an artist continue to improve as a result.

Recently, I started writing fan fiction. Taking two older characters from The Legend of Korra, I believe I have found a niche. I am able to write and draw women much like myself in age and temperament, with a perspective unlike that of younger writers. I’ve allowed myself to feel emotions in those characters that I have been unable to feel in my own life because of my circumstances. And I’ve received some wonderful praise for what I’ve written, and that is the most amazing feeling. To make believable something that I’ve never experienced personally is astonishing.

I can’t understate the importance of fan works to my acceptance of myself as a bisexual woman, even though I have come to that acceptance later in my life. I hope the content that I’ve created will be found by women like me, a little older, a little late to the game. And I hope it makes them feel as much better about themselves as it has made me.


This essay was submitted to the @aroomoftheirown​ project, a blog and zine that seeks document the myriad of ways in which LGBT content creators and fandom participants use fanworks as a celebration of their identities and to force popular mainstream media to reflect their lived experiences by collecting essays, comics, and interviews documenting how LGBT members of fandom use their various talents to carve out a space for themselves in mainstream fiction and to explore their identities in a relatively safe space.

The blog that will accept submissions on a consistent basis and the eventual goal is to compile a selection of the pieces into a zine or a series of zines, the proceeds of which will go to the Trevor Project and Trans Lifeline

To learn more or submit to the project, click here.