What should one do, when what they want to be isn’t what they’re best at? Everyone fights, searching for the correct way to live their lives. What do they seek by fighting? How ought they live? No one can say. All we have is the right to waver. Like stray dogs that have hit rock bottom.
Dazai Osamu to Kyouka, EP. 12//EP. 24 – If I may shed my burden now
It’s finally mulberry season, and I couldn’t be happier to see my most beautiful, octopus like tree give so many fruit!! <3 The last three photos were taken “inside” the tree, under its wooden dome… what I like to call my sky of mulberries!! ;w; Oh, how I love you, my dear tree.
*I found this story on Reddit. It was written by sweetmercy*
A week or so before my 10th birthday, I walked to the corner store
with a $5 bill and picked up a jar of Ragu for my mom. On my way home, a
man I’d never seen before fell in step with me and began talking.
“Hi!” he said, cheerfully. “My name is Dr. Ramsey. I’m a pediatrician. Do you know what a pediatrician is?”
I walked along silently, not replying and fervently hoping he would
take that as a sign he should leave me alone. Subtleties were not his
strong suit, though, because he kept right on chattering.
your parents looking for a pediatrician for you? Of course, you’re
almost a big girl now, you’ll be needing another kind of doctor soon,
won’t you? That’s okay though. They can still bring you to me until
then. What’s your name? You have beautiful hair. I was just on my way to
get some suckers for the candy jar in my office. Do you like suckers?”
Thankfully, we were nearing my house, so I ran forward, up the back
steps and into through the kitchen door. I didn’t know it then, but that
was the beginning of a very long, very scary ordeal. It didn’t take
long after that for “Dr. Ramsey” to begin showing up. At first, it
seemed benign enough…at least to a kid. He would drive by nearly every
day, smiling and waving. I told my mom, who said maybe it was on his way
home from work. But then, the phone calls began.
My dad called
me into the living room, and sat me down. He asked about the day Dr.
Ramsey followed me home, and if I talked to him. He said I wasn’t in
trouble, but that I needed to tell him the truth. I told him know, and
he asked if I was sure…could I be forgetting something? I told him know
again, and he frowned, then asked “Then how does he know your name?” I
It turns out, that was not all he knew. He knew my
sister’s name as well. Pretty soon, neither my sister or I were allowed
to answer the phone. He called several times a day; at first, neither of
us knew what he was saying. Then, one night, one of my brothers told us
that he was telling my parents that he was going to hurt me (and later,
Things got complicated after that. My dad had called
the police, but as this was before there were any stalking laws, there
was not a lot they could do. They told my parents to call back if he
“tried anything”. My dad then called a friend of his from back in the
day, who happened to be a cop. For the next month, my dad’s friend
escorted me to and from school. Suddenly, life as I knew it came
screeching to a halt. I couldn’t walk to school alone, I couldn’t play
outside, I couldn’t walk to SuperAmerica (sort of like a 7-11 for those
who don’t know).
When access to me was completely denied, things
escalated. It was around this time he began threatening my sister as
well. Then one afternoon my sister, two of my brothers, my mom and I
were in the kitchen. One of my brothers saw a glimpse of someone in the
garage; they’d seen him too. Dr. Ramsey came bolting out of the garage,
my brothers chasing after him. They ran all the way to Cherokee Park,
where he lost them in the trees. My parents called the police again, but
nothing came of it. The only information they had was a description and
a name that was almost certainly fake.
A couple weeks later, we
woke to find our dog hanging from the side porch. She was a gorgeous
saddle-back German shepherd, born the same day I was. We were all
devastated. The cops said there was no evidence it was him, and ruled it
accidental, but none of us believed that.
His phone calls became
more informative in the meantime. He would talk about who was home, and
who wasn’t. If my brother would say my dad was home, he would tell him
who was really in the house. He also would talk about the house
itself…about the window in the kitchen he could easily open with a knife
from the outside even when it was locked, and about the french doors
that connected the living room to the side porch and how the lock could
be finagled from the outside if you jiggled it just right. That night,
my dad put in some carpenter nails at the bottom of the french doors
until he could get a new lock ordered.
My parents had to go to a
company event for my dad’s work. My older brothers were at Saints West
roller skating rink. My sister was on the phone with her best friend. My
little brother was on the floor asleep. I was watching Devo on the
Midnight Special with Wolfman Jack. It was late. Suddenly, the top of
the french doors swung inward, and in the few miliseconds before the
nails in the bottom caused them to snap back, I could see his
silhouette. My sister whipped the phone at the television, and we ran up
the stairs. About halfway up, we realized our little brother was still
asleep on the living room floor. As quietly as we could, we slipped back
down the stairs to get him. We all went into our bedroom and didn’t
turn on the light; this way we could see outside. We watched out the
window for a while, and when we didn’t find him, we crept down the hall
to our brothers’ room to look. We looked down and could see someone
standing at the backdoor. He knocked, loudly.
“What do you want?”
my sister asked out the window. He stepped back and said “Is this the
Mercy residence? I have a pizza for delivery. Can you come to the door?”
She scoffed at him, declaring she was not stupid, she could see he
didn’t have a pizza, and she was calling the cops. He left.
short while later, my brothers returned home. We told them what happened
and they walked around the yard, watching for him. They came back in,
and things settled down. By now we’d pretty much given up calling the
cops because it never helped, so we just went back in, each of us
(except my youngest brother, still asleep) carrying a knife from the
kitchen “just in case”. Eventually, one of my brothers went into the
kitchen to get a bowl of cereal as a snack.
You know that
sensation you get when you can just feel someone watching you? Yeah, he
had that in spades. He kept looking around the kitchen, through the
doorway into the dining room, at the windows. He didn’t see anything,
but he could still feel eyes on him, so he went closer to the door to
try to see better. The kitchen lights were reflecting on the windows of
the door (it had 3 rows of 3 windows), so he still couldn’t see. He
stepped closer, then closer again, until he was right up to the door,
then cupped his hands on either side of his head so he could see. There
on the other side of the window pane was Dr. Ramsey, smiling back at
him. He turned to yell for my older brothers, and when he looked back
again, he was gone. They went out again to look for him, but didn’t see
The next night we were at the table playing crazy 8’s, and
my brother was restless. My sister asked him what’s wrong, and he said
he always felt like any minute now there would be a ‘boom boom boom!’ on
a door or window. Almost immediately after he finished his sentence,
“BOOM BOOM BOOM!” on the window right behind him. In the chaos, the two
eldest ran out, but he was already gone.
A couple of weeks later,
I was at school and we were outside on the playground during recess. I
was swinging upside down when I saw that now-familiar blue Ford Galaxy
cruising by, moving slowly. There he was, smiling and waving. He called
my name, and I ran to the teacher and told her. The school had been told
all about him, and she took me inside right away and called my mom.
That same day my mom had gotten a call from the school office asking her
to verify that my dad was picking me up, as he’d called to say he was
on his way. He wasn’t.
Not long after that, I woke up one night,
thirsty. I went down to the kitchen for a drink and there, sitting alone
in the dark, was my dad. On the table, a gun. He was tired of the the
police waiting until Dr. Ramsey “tried something”, he was tired of his
children being terrorized, he was tired of being afraid every time he
left for work that something would happen to us while he was gone. I sat
with him for a time, watching, before he sent me back to bed.
These events, and many more, took place over a period of around 18
months. Then, as suddenly as it began, it was over. He had vanished from
our lives; the phone calls, the drive-by with the creepy waves,
everything. For a long time, during and after the Dr. Ramsey days, I
would have a recurring nightmare in which I would wake up to find him
standing over me as I slept. It took a long time before I felt like a
I found out years later that when he was calling, Dr.
Ramsey would tell my parents that he was going to rape and kill me, and
later my sister…and that there was nothing they could do about it. I
don’t know what happened to him when he disappeared. I don’t know if he
was in a car wreck, locked in prison, in a coma…but sometimes I wonder
if the wait ended for my dad when he was sitting in the darkened kitchen
one night. I don’t know, and I’m not sure I want to.
Robb walked into the bar on autopilot, just as he always did after a fight. He did not look to the stage where a woman had just come on in a cheerleader’s uniform, nor did he look to the floor where men hollered and yelled and threw their money around. Instead, he flopped instantly down into his usual barstool, sunglasses on inside, despite the low light–another usual, as he had grown so used to wearing them to hide the black eyes in public that they had become quite like another limb. He had already thrown a twenty onto the bar before he looked up and saw, with a small jolt of excitement, that Leijana was the one behind the glass.
“Do you always work here?” he asked, accepting a drink from her. “Or do I simply have the good luck of always being here at the right time?”
The men surrounding her at the bar were never up to any good; Robb had seen them here before and knew their game. He was chatting with a friend a few barstools down when he saw her out of the corner of his eye; clearly trying to move away from the man who had seemed to take the lead, flirting with her relentlessly and trying to get her on the dance floor. The more time went by, the more and more aggressive he got, the more insistent.
Robb excused himself from his friend and came up to the girl’s side. “There you are,” he said, feigning recognition. “Are you ready to go? I’ve got the car parked outside.” The man caught his eye, sighed, and, thinking the girl was taken, moved on. “You might not want to drink that,” Robb said, nodding at the glass the man had left behind.
Robb glared at the boy. Though he wanted very much to hit him at least once–one blow to the jaw just for every time he had kissed Araya, on principle alone–Robb also knew he was speaking the truth. Aryaa did what she wanted and got what she wanted, and Robb might feel that it was his responsibility to protect her from the world, but she neither needed nor wanted his guardianship.
Robb brought his fist into his own hand and slowly released it. Why did it have to be a Lannister she fell for?
But she loves him, he reminded himself. She’d said it herself, even if she’d never meant to. “If you ever hurt one hair on her head, if you so much as ever make her shed a single tear, you will regret the day you were born, do we have an understanding?”
Arya did not miss her brother and his date a few tables down. Well it was hard to miss Robb when he started waving his arms madly and whispershouting her full name when she tried to move her hands up her date's thigh. She rolled her eyes and made a face. So much for dessert.
Robb did not know who the boy was she was sitting with, but he knew he hated him. He did not have to know a thing about him to have come to that conclusion. If he had coerced his sister into such displays of PDA, he was likely the devil in disguise–at least as far as Robb was concerned, as his ‘touching my siblings’ policy was at a firm: never allowed. Scared it would go any further, Robb ditched his own date and sidled over to Arya’s table, taking a seat beside her so she had no choice but to stop. “Hi,” he greeted with faux casualness. “What are you two up to? Having a good time?” He turned to Arya. “Can I talk to you outside?”
Okay, so this baby girl showed up at my friends house and hung around for a while, so we put some food and water out for her but she wouldn’t eat unless it was from my hand. I could tell she was a stray because she has matted and dirty fur, and she was wandering around in the freezing cold and drizzle. I sat out there for 45 min just petting her and trying to warm her, and she’s so sweet and gentle! She would keep trying to lick my face and hands as I was snuggling her and she would wag her tail whenever I would talk to her. I’m trying to get my mom to let me keep her, at least until we can find a home for her, but it’s not looking good. I know it’s not likely but if you live in the central Texas area, this sweet girl could really use a good home or foster home if I can’t convince my mom to let her stay for a while. It’s supposed to be really cold this week and I’m really worried about her so if you could signal boost this, that would be great! She’s sweet as can be and other than needing a bath and a hair cut to get rid of the matts, she’s healthy and a beautiful little lady!