finally-happy-with-something

I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in
— 

‘In The Sun’ 

(I don’t know who did the original but I’ve been listening to the Aron Wright cover and I keep thinking of Regina when I hear these lyrics, trying to find something to give her hope even though all she’s seen is hopelessness and dark, I keep thinking of her trying to find love and light, to find something to believe in even though everything she’s seen has taught her she can’t. It just makes me think of her perseverance and her strength and how I’m so happy she’s finally found something to believe in through her son and her home)

HOW I DRAW STUFF

the tutorial nobody asked for!


Each one of my drawings starts with a sketch. Most of them never develop past that stage, but sometimes, when I’m feeling less lazy than usual, they do. After a gazillion attempts, when I finally get something I’m happy with I flip it to check and see if it’s lopsided. If it is I correct it. Every artist has a tilt, even (especially) if they don’t realize it.

Inking is terrible and I hate it. It’s basically just tracing. It is tedious, takes forever, and can easily sap the life out of your sketch if you aren’t mindful. It basically amounts to the “fine-tuning” phase of the drawing, and it is a pain.
Still, a lot of important changes happen here. Minor changes like the decision to give her needly little teeth and nostrils, and major changes like the decision to not make her skirt thing frilly (I think the smooth offers better contrast between her ridiculous ear. And yes, that thing on her head is an ear. It even opens up like a gelatinous satellite dish!)
Also another thing to keep in mind is varying line thickness. It looks way better than having all your line work completely uniform. How boring is that! The answer is very. The bigger/outermost a shape gets the thicker the line, and vise versa. Note how her outline is the thickest, and the tiny details like the scales on her flesh petals are the thinnest.

(Pffft, flesh petals)
And with that hideous bore inking out of the way (I love art, art is fun) we can get to the fun part! COLORING!!!!! (Woo!) but first some prep work (boo). 
I make the bottom layer entirely black and reduce the opacity. This actually has a purpose beyond being way less obnoxious than the bright white, but we’ll get to that later. Now is the time I mention that the app I use only lets me have three layers at a time, and I guess this is also a showcase for how I’ve adapted to that stupid restriction. 
If you have access to more something that lets you have more then use them. Appreciate them. Love them.
I color in sections, always starting with a base. I wish I had more to say about the coloring process, but frankly it just sort of happens. I play around with it until I have something I like. Sometimes it takes hours of trial and error. I was going to color her ear here, but decided against it. Anyway, after coloring the black layer finally comes in handy.
In case you didn’t notice, I’m very sloppy at coloring (and also everything else), which more or less necessitates some extensive cleanup work in my contradictorily anal, perfectionism addled mind. The black layer, fully opaque, makes those tiny, missable mistakes considerably easier to spot and eliminate. Which is nice, because those overlooked little errors are a bitch to clean up once the color and line-art layers get merged. That’s how I get around the three layer thing. 
It’s rinse and repeat coloring the other sections, and it would be both tedious and unnecessary to drag you through it. But let’s gawk at this for a second:
I am so unbelievably pleased with myself for this. It’s flippin’ beautiful! Granted it’s considerably squishier than I was planning. Oh well. I have shit self control when it comes to making things look wet/slick/slimy/sticky. No regrets!

Anyway here’s the finished product. It several hours, and I’m very happy with it.


and before you ask, the app I use (I draw on my IPad, except no it’s not even mine it’s my high schools’ and I’m going to be losing it over the summer) is called Sketchbook Xpress.

looks like this:

Progress!

So, this blog was seemingly very pointless for the longest time, because I literally made no advancement in my desire to pursue conversion to Judaism. This was due to various factors, but, truth be told, the main reason was because I let my nerves get the better of me, and I was too scared to escape my comfort zone. I tried to push the idea of conversion to the back of my mind, but no matter how hard I tried it kept coming back.

However, today I finally made progress. In hindsight, it was the simplest of steps- I simply emailed the Rabbi whom I wish to further discuss conversion with. It may not seem like that big a step, but honestly I’m just happy that I finally got past my irrational fear and did something for myself.

I guess now I’ll just have to wait, but I feel so much more optimistic about the whole thing because of this one very simple step.

I heard you’re seeing someone new.

Last night, they asked me if we were still friends. I said no, because that’s the truth. It never worked out.
That’s when I learned about her.
I saw the pictures and you’re holding her hand in most of them and you two seem to fit together perfectly.
I really wanted to be angry but I couldn’t really find those feelings in myself. Instead I felt happy, and loosing you, stopped feeling like a loss.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that, I’m happy because you’ve finally let yourself love something that wouldn’t be the end of you. You finally stepped out in the open, to meet her somewhere in the middle and I’m happy because it’s what your mother would have wanted. She would have loved to see it, you there in the open, with all that bravery of yours, of hers.
I know your mother would have been very proud of you. She is proud of you, even from up there.
I’m happy because you deserve love like that and she’s handing it to you, like it’s all she has.
I hope that somewhere you find yourself thinking that you should have done this all much sooner, I hope that somewhere you find yourself thinking that some things are worth bleeding for. I hope you tell yourself that love is always going to be one of them.

—  I Heard You’re Seeing Someone New // thewordsyouneverunderstood

Alright, LISTEN UP I GOTTA THING TO TELL YOU.

//See this cutie right here? 

This is Jeff. My Cecil, my Kevin, and also my boyfriend
He’s wonderful. Just look at him, how could you not love that face? 

ANYWAYS. He’s in a bad situation right now. But, how about we give back and help him fix that?

Guys, he is a wonderful cosplayer, roleplayer and artist, but he can’t continue where he is. 

If all of my followers donated just $1 he would make more than enough to reach his goal- $730

You can donate here OR get an epic drawing done by him! (info here)

If that’s still not enough, have the nerd and his cat

I donated all I could, which wasn’t much, but still at least /something/.
He deserves to be finally happy. 

5

Okay, so here’s a dumb sketch I made because my friend has been pestering me to post something, and not cause I am procrastinating my homework or anything. Please don’t repost. :D

I Forgot That Paper Was Due Tomorrow

(to the tune of “Kiss Kiss Fall in Love”)

Piss, piss fucking shit
(Hey hey hey)

The deadline comes,
It came so fast.
You never brought it up in class.

So when is the due date
Oh fine
It was on the outline.

Inside my head,
I see you dead
Or this stupid paper instead.

Panic? No way,
Of course,
I find I’m losing my mind.

If I had even tried
to listen more in class,
maybe I could have passed-
Piss, piss fucking shit

And I don’t have a thesis
My argument’s in pieces

And with one grade,
My average slips and
I’ll have to retake this class

The deadline’s in two days
I guess I’ll double space -
Just one more draft
I’ll be done with this crap

And I’ll never do this shit again
(Hey Hey)
Piss Piss Fucking DONE!

ygizibe00 asked:

Gray scenarios you met him after 1 year of broke up and you see with him girl but is not his girlfriend coz he still have feeling for you // make it little bit sad but finish with happy ending // finally i find something thank you 💞💞

It was your daily routine. Every morning you needed a cup of coffee in order to be able to get through the day. However, your coffee machine was broken and you hadn’t have the time to replace it yet. So you headed to a nearby café to get your daily dose of coffee. You were standing in the queue when you heard a familiar male voice. Your whole body froze and you prayed he wouldn’t recognize you. You wanted to leave the café as soon as possible, but it was your turn and you couldn’t just leave without ordering anything.
 So you ordered an espresso and pulled your beanie further down, trying to hide your face. Although you didn’t want to bump into him, it would have been a lie to say you didn’t miss him. Hearing his gentle voice still awoke hidden feelings in you. You could hear him laugh. Oh god, how much you missed the sound of his laughter. It was music to your ears. But he wasn’t alone. He had company. A girl. Of course. He had moved on, while you were still foolishly hoping for a reunion. Your heart dropped at the realization that he was with a girl. You could feel the same piercing pain again, that you felt when the both of you decided to break up. However, breaking up didn’t mean your feelings would just vanish into thin air. 



“Here you go,“ the employee said and you snapped out of your thoughts. You quickly shook your head and released a little smile while taking the cup into your hands. You turned around, hoping to escape the situation unrecognized, but luck wasn’t on your side today. The moment you took a turn, you brushed against another person, slightly spilling you coffee on that person. That person turned out to be none other than the girl in Gray’s company.



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