finally writing again and it feels so good


Hello, yes I am back! I decided to combine a couple of requests into one because they fit :)

One where y/n gets sick and shawn catches it?
One where he gets sick and denies it?


Before you even open your eyes, you already feel the pain in your throat. You’re barely even fully awake, but your heart already drops. You can’t be sick right now. Well, actually, you can, but you’re traveling with your boyfriend for the week and you don’t want him to get sick because he has a lot of commitments. You’re afraid that Shawn will catch your sickness because he’s going to want to be near you even though you’ll try your best to keep him from being too close.

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me: I’m writing this fic for Myself, because I want to and it’ll make me happy. Psh I don’t care if anybody likes it or not because it ain’t for them.

also me: *times things perfectly to have the highest number of people read it the instant it is posted* *advertises it on tumblr and twitter and various other social media* Come read my fic and shower me with praise so I feel validated in failing two finals and a project because I spent all my study and prep time writing this! Tell me I did good!

also me when the reception is (inevitably) not as warm as expected: As God as my witness, I will never write again. Let my soul float away from this mortal coil, for it is not worthy.  

Wolf Creek (Part 3)

Cowboy!Steve x Reader AU

Summary – You and Steve were supposed to have spent the rest of your lives together, but lies and betrayal tore you apart.  A family tragedy forces you to leave your life in the city and return to the Montana ranch you used to call home. Can you and Steve forget the past and find love again?

Warnings – None

Word Count – 2,144

Notes – I’ve finally gotten back to writing this fic and now I remember why I was so excited about this one!  This is going to be some major romantic drama!!  I have so many plans for this fic and I can’t wait for you guys to read it! Anyway, I hope you enjoy!!  As always, feel free to leave me any comments or feedback!

Part 1

Series Masterlist



“Maybe not,” Bucky acknowledged, “but there is something that you need to know before we go any further.”

Bucky was always good at keeping a straight face, so the anxious look in his eyes instantly had you worried.  “What do I need to know?”

“You’re not going to like this, (Y/N),” he began, refusing to look you in the eye.  “Your dad made Steve the ranch foreman five years ago.”


A chill went down your spine as you stared at your friend, your eyes wide in disbelief.  “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“I’m sorry, doll, it’s true.” Bucky seemed to be debating with himself before finally giving in and continuing.  “I will tell you this.  Ste. . He was hesitant to take the job at first, but needed the money and Wolf Creek is one of the best.  Not as good as South Hills, but it’s okay.”

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  • Rumple: So, now that Gideon's a baby again and I did the right thing... makeup/makeout session?
  • Belle: Hell no.
  • Rumple: Wait, what?
  • Belle: You did ONE good thing, that doesn't excuse the hell you put me through or what you were planning to do to him. Every time you make it seem like you've changed, it always ends up coming back to bite me in the ass, and until I get good, solid proof that this is permanent, Gideon and I are moving into Snow's apartment, since the Charmings are getting a farm.
Dating Harry and Spending the Break at Sirius Black’s House Would Include....

Request-  Can you do a would happen for dating Harry and spending Christmas at Sirius blacks house with him? Thank you!

It feels good to finally be writing again tbh.



Originally posted by fullwithjoy

  • You both had originally planned to just stay at Hogwarts
  • But then Harry spoke wrote to Sirius and you both decided it would be best to go there
  • Sirius would be so delighted that he finally got to meet you
  • “(Y/N), you look lovely. I’ve heard so much about you from Harry here.”
  • Laughing as Harry’s face goes completely red
  • “You did good Harry, I’m glad you found someone that makes you happy.”
  • Holding hands while eating dinner
  • Everyone coming to visit Grimmauld Place
  • Snuggling up by the fire on the couch with Harry as Sirius tells you many stories about the Marauders and Lily
  • Staying up late with Ron and Hermione when they came to visit
  • You and Hermione leaving to go present shopping together
  • Having long conversations with Remus about books and such
  • Harry watching you with adoration as you talk since he loves seeing the way your eyes light up
  • “You’re goign to burn a few holes through her if you continue to stare like that.”
  • “Oh sod off, Sirius.”
  • Okay but Sirius would let you sleep in the same room together
  • And you two would cuddle with eachother because its too cold not too
  • Also doing some other things to warm eachother up
  • Well thats what your excuse is but it’s not cold at all in the house
  • Sirius making fun og you because he heard everything
  • “Whats that on your neck Harry? Looks like someone got a bit fiesty last night.”
  • Being extremely embarrassed ad not wanting to leave your room
  • “You have to come out at some point, (Y/N).”
  • “I’d rather not. I told you to quiet down last night Harry!”
  • “It wasn’t me that was loud love.”
  • Opening presents Christmas morning with Sirius
  • Sirius would totally treat you like his own daughter
  • Sirius would also try to move th mistletoe to wherever you and Harry were standing together
  • It would just be the most amazing Christmas ever
A Night to Remember

Originally posted by illyria-and-her-pet

Written by Danielle

Category: Fluff

Word Count: 2,310

Anonymous asked: Could you do a peter asking someone to prom fic? BTW you guys are great writers keep up the good work

A/N: Hey guys!! Man does it feel good to be back! I feel like I haven’t written a fic in so long and I am so sorry it has taken me this long to finally post one again! Life has just been crazy busy and I haven’t been in the zone to write anything good. I can’t just sit and have words flow from me magically, I have to have an idea and then go from there. And lately I haven’t had any good ideas. I know prom (especially promposals) are long done by now but I hope you guys can still enjoy! Congrats to those who are graduating! :) Christina and I will still work hard on any requests we have from you guys! We just tend to tackle them when either of us gets a good idea for one of them because we really want to make sure we put out good content you guys will like. We love you guys! Thank you so much for the continuous support <3 BTW THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALMOST 2,000!! WE’RE SO CLOSE AND CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!! xoxoxo

“Uh hey (Y/N)…? (Y/n)? (Y/N)!”

Tapping the end of your pencil on the tabletop, staring off into space lost in your thoughts, Peter shakes you softly to get your attention. Snapping out of it, you stop tapping your pencil and sit straight up in your seat, blinking to try and wake yourself up.

“Hm? Yeah, what? Oh sorry, Pete! I didn’t see you there..” you feel bad for not noticing him right away. The two of you have been really close friends ever since Freshman year, and then at the beginning of Junior year, Peter had finally asked you out. The two of you were both afraid it would ruin your friendship, but it ended up being the one thing in your life that made the most sense. The two of you together just felt right.

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What I loved about chapter 14 of UMFBAMHA

If you haven’t read it yet then a) why on earth not and b) don’t read this, there will be spoilers.

(DISCLAIMER: This may be disjointed because a grumpy preschool child keeps hitting me with a toilet roll and yelling at me to come fix his lego model and there won’t be time to check it through, I’m just gonna write and post before school run time)

OK.  So this was a really long chapter.  And if you think about it, aside from the last 5 minutes or so, nothing actually happens in it.  (That’s not a criticism BTW!).  The whole chapter is basically ‘Yuuri has a good long think and talks to a load of people and finally gets a lot of stuff straight in his head and until you read it you wouldn’t have thought it would take so long but it totally does and it totally needed to’.  Indeed within the chapter itself it’s said over and over again that Yuuri needs to take some time.  So it’s a huge testament to the way that @kazliin writes so beautifully that there is nothing in the chapter that feels long or boring or makes you feel like you want to skip ahead to see some action.   It doesn’t need any action.  It’s slow and peaceful and sad and lovely.  

(This has got super long so the rest of below the cut)

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Saving Lives pt. 9 (M)

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: series, doctor!baekhyun au, fluff, angst, smut (in this chapter)

Word Count: 4,895

Summary: You’re about to start your internship in Seoul’s most prestigious hospital but before you devote your whole life to medicine, you decide to have one more night of freedom and meet someone you didn’t expect to meet again. (inspired by Grey’s Anatomy)

A/N: omg I’m finally updating. I’ve been so excited to release this chapter but I’ve had trouble writing the smut part, oh btw there’s finally a smut part again! I feel like I’m not good at writing smut so please beware of some cringy shit. But anyways I hope ya’ll like it. Also, there’s a lot of medical terms so don’t worry if you don’t understand them, I don’t either and they’re not that important to the storyline. Oh and thank you so much to those of you who send me messages, I absolutely love receiving them. Shout out to that one anon that said he/she reads all my author’s notes, love ya! (photo credit to the owner)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

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Too Good To Be True

Prompt by oresamawesome: “Robbie makes a truth ray and tries to use it on Sportacus but it ends up backfiring and either affecting Robbie or both of them and they end up accidentally confessing feelings.”

Word count: 3274

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She finally allowed herself to leave the room she stayed in for a few weeks because she couldn’t find a single reason to leave her bed.

She finally allowed herself to breathe fresh air and feel the sunshine on her golden skin.

She finally allowed herself to break the wall that was building itself around her heart.

She finally allowed herself to love again - to love herself.

She’s finally at peace with herself, breathing and realising there is so much more in life than tear stained pillows and heartbreak.

—  she is me and it feels pretty damn good to be happy.
I am an all or nothing type of individual. I will love you with every part of me or not at all. I put my all into everything I do, I hate that half assed shit, I was never a fan of being teased with something and never being able to have it all. And I think it has something to do with the way my entire life has felt like a tease. I swear it feels like my life is synonymous with drowning in the ocean. I have never been a strong swimmer and wave after wave of that tumultuous yet beautiful blue green water holds me under and for a moment I’ll get a breathe of air. But it’s never for long and suddenly my lungs have to once again get used to the pain of water filling them instead of air. So maybe that’s why when I finally get the taste of good I’d rather just have all the bad because it becomes a series of motions that I can become numb to rather than the pain I feel when everything good disappears. It’s like the day I had you and you left.
Being abused doesn’t make you less of a feminist.

I can’t believe I have to write this. 

If you’ve been physically, mentally, or emotionally abused you are no less of a feminist than the person who hasn’t experienced those things. Being a feminist doesn’t mean that you have to be continuously strong or domineering to be considered a “good feminist”.

 I was abused in a relationship and i’m still a feminist. If anything, having experienced abuse, sought help, and finally leaving the situation made me feel stronger and more connected to my feminism. I knew how I never wanted to be treated again and I went through something so awful that it made me run straight to the front lines to help other women in the same situation I just got out of. It made me talk more about abuse, which made me feel stronger. I realized my worth and knew I would never want to be that woman crawling on her knees in the apartment, sobbing, being tormented by anyone ever again. I had to find not only my femininity again, but I felt like I had to find my feminism as well. 

When I sat in the bathroom crying with snot running down my nose I couldn’t believe that this happened to me. I was strong, vocal, and dominate. No man could ever put his hands and words on me without repercussions, I’m not a weak woman. But it happened, and I was stupid to think only certain kinds of women experience abuse. Women every day experience abuse, weak and strong. So there I was, broken down in a million pieces too embarrassed to admit that this happened. Here I was telling everyone online how I’d never take abuse and how I knew my worth and how I would never be with somebody that was violent, but I was. Everything I advocated against just happened and I did nothing but take it, so in turn, who was I to tell anyone how to be a feminist.

I took a long walk after that moment, took several weeks to myself. I asked for help, talked to family and friends, and read many many many articles and threads written by other women about their experiences. With each story I felt a little bit stronger, a little bit more like me. I slowly realized that abuse didn’t take away my feminism but only made me more aware of how broad it can be. I got louder, I got my strength back and I became less embarrassed. I asked my local government why instruments weren’t in place for abuse victims. I spoke more often for those still recovering. I’m writing this blog. 

You don’t have to be the strongest woman or any gender you define as in order to be the right kind of feminist. We come in many shapes, colors, backgrounds, experiences, strengths, weaknesses, and definitions. Just because you’re a victim does not make you less aware or less deserving of feminism. 

Fanfic Writer Wednesday, 4/5

When we were talking about the monthly self-recs, @sequencefairy gave me a great idea. Once a month, do a round-up of all the fic I’ve recced on my blog. Only… I haven’t done a FWW post in ages, and there’s a lot I’ve loved just in the first three months of the year… So I’m going back to January 1. And I’m splitting it into multiple weeks, so there will be a post every week in April. 


  • Found and Lost by @whoinwhoville 
    • One of my favourite fics ever, back online again! Ten x Rose, post New Earth, telepathic bonding, romance, happiness… what more can you ask for? Adult
  • Fobbed!Nine x Rose by @professortennant
    • There’s not enough Fobbed!Nine, and this is so, so good. All ages
  • Seeing Double by @wordsintimeandspace
    • Ten x Rose–the Doctor accidentally creates a double of himself, one who has no hearts-to-mouth filter stopping him from telling Rose how he feels. Teen
  • Timeless by @tenroseforeverandever
    • Christmas fluff! Post-reunion fluff! I loved the lighthearted humour in this story as they worked out their misunderstandings and finally moved their relationship forward. Teen
  • Miracle at the Powell Estate by @rudennotgingr
    • Jesse really writes the best Protective!Doctor fics. And this one is so good, plus it’s holiday themed, plus the classic “I thought you didn’t do this kind of thing” and the Doctor proving that he definitely does. Adult
  • Stolen Hours by @perfectlyrose
    •  Dimension hopping Rose meets Six! And she absolutely nails his personality in like… under five minutes. It’s brilliant. And of course he is instantly smitten, because every Doctor x Rose Tyler. All Ages
  • Same Auld Lang Syne by @caedmonfaith 
    • Nine/Rose holiday au fluff with long-lost lovers. :D All Ages
  • Perfect Match by @lastbluetardis
    • Okay, I’m sure most of you have read/are reading this, but just in case… Ten/Rose soulmates AU. It starts when they’re kids and takes you all the way through their developing relationship to their honeymoon. It is romantic and wonderful and I love everything about this fic. Adult for the last few chapters
  • Met Their Match ch 2 by @dimensionhoppingrose and @lastbluetardis
    • Ten/Rose matchmaker AU. Rose is a professional matchmaker, and James is her problem client. But does she even want to match him up?

Miraculous Ladybug:



HAPPY BELLARKE FAM SELFIE NIGHT!!!!! Somehow this hiatus felt longer than the actual nearly 8 month one. 

I’M OFFICALLY 20 - I survived teenagehood and I celebrated entering my twenties by hanging out with my twin brother, seeing a panel of wonderful authors, eating a fantastic dinner, crying over the scripts I read on Friday including a cut scene from Empire Strikes Back, having a surprise party thrown for me by my friends and grinning over the wonderful gifts I received. Special shout out to @marauders-groupie, @blyedeeks and @ginalou16 for actually making me sob for several minutes with what they gave me. I couldn’t have asked for a better weekend nor better friends. 

I also finally started writing again and it feels so good to be getting back in the groove. 


@wellsjahasghost @wellamyblake @bellamyblakesprotectionsquad2k17 @rosymamacita @abazethe100 @hiddenpolkadots @cupcakeblake @zoemonroe @bellsqueen @bellsgirl @bellsblake @junebugninja @goodqueenalys @queensusan @lukesaysbreathe @prosciuttoe @caramelkru @rhysandly @forgivenessishardforus @jontyaxefive @bellarketm @bellarkestrut @bellarke-stydia @hisstericallypawesomesleepurr @thelovelylights @saltymonty @ravenreyess @ravenbellclarke @deadshotbellamy @raincityruckus @sherlockvowsontheriverstyx @mego42 @sassamyblake @asweetdeception

anonymous asked:

AAAAAAA please show me some of that Good Dooku And Kenobi Content ive been having an awful day

I hope you’re feeling better! This snippet is still very much in draft form (so be prepared for changes in the final product), but I’ve been writing my fingers off the past few days as I’ve actually a) had some free time, which has been in very short supply recently and b) found my muse again, which has been a somewhat fickle creature as of late. 

(And as an FYI to anyone in my askbox now or in the near future - I will get back to you when I can! But I’m super-busy in my real life right now and my weekdays have been…challenging, as of late. If there’s a delay, it means I fell asleep on the couch with my laptop on my chest multiple nights in a row ;)


The Count took his napkin and dabbed at his mouth, placing it on the table and leaning back in his chair. “So tell me, Mr. Hardeen. How did you manage to kill the Jedi Obi-wan Kenobi?”

Obi-wan blanched. How did…

But it didn’t matter how Dooku had gotten that information. Information which was not supposed to have left Coruscant…


He clenched a fist. I should have finished it when -

Obi-wan immediately banished the thought.

“Sniper rifle. Same as you saw in the Box.” The answer was curt, and he prayed that would be the end of the conversation.

Dooku picked up his wine glass, holding it up to the last rays of sun that passed through the large windows that overlooked the Serenno mountains. He inspected the contents, peering through the bottom of the glass. The liquid, already crimson, somehow turned a blood-red in the light. “Hmmm.” Dooku glanced over, meeting the bounty hunter’s gaze, and smiled. “It’s a rare thing for a Jedi, especially one of the caliber of Obi-wan Kenobi, to be brought down by a mere sniper.”

Hardeen grunted, crossing his arms over his chest. “Must’ve gotten lucky then.”

Dooku narrowed his eyes, the base of his glass striking the marble table with a hollow, pitched clang that resonated throughout the mostly-empty room. “I have found, Mr. Hardeen, that there is no such thing as luck.” The words were cold and precise in their enunciation, and for the first time since arriving on Serenno Obi-wan felt the true dark presence of the Sith next to him through the Force.

The Count’s stare bored into him. It took every ounce of control Obi-wan possessed to not crack under the gaze. To not give up this horrible, complicated game right now and confess to Dooku that no, Obi-wan Kenobi was not dead. That Obi-wan Kenobi did possess more skill than that - enough skill, in fact, to fool the entire Jedi Council into thinking that he hadn’t -

A raised eyebrow. A lowered voice. “Kenobi’s death is a disappointment, to be certain.”

Obi-wan felt his eyebrows go skyward. Forgive me Count, but haven’t you been trying very hard to kill me the past few years?

“I thought you Separatists and Jedi were on opposite sides of the war,” offered the disguised Jedi, hoping to mask his own confusion over Dooku’s statement.

“Oh yes, we are.” The Count rose from his seat, turning his back to Obi-wan, hands clasped behind his back. He walked towards a large, and undoubtably expensive Kriin-wood cabinet, coming to pause in front of its closed doors. Dooku made no immediate move to open the large compartment. “But Master Kenobi showed great promise, and I had hoped one day to enter into…more civilized discussions with him about the direction of the Jedi Order. To share some information that I believe he would have found quite compelling.”

The Stranger in the Bed - 1st Interlude
  • Fandom: Frozen
  • Pairing: Kristanna
  • Prompt: Kristoff Weekend, Ice (…ish)
  • Words: 2006
  • Rating: M
  • To: @upthenorthmountain and @ominouscloudsofarendelle who responded to ‘I have a weird fic idea’ with ‘tell me about it’ and then ‘you should write the thing’ <3
  • Warnings: Angst, post-partum depression, sex repulsion, explicit sexual content

Soft, yielding heat—enthusiastic hands pulling him closer—a laughing whisper in his ear that merged into other sounds of pleasure, warm breath sighing against his neck, and he was so close to feeling complete, so close—


Kristoff woke in a snarl of blankets, mind foggy and body aching, and reached out for his wife. A distant cry made his hand stop short. Anna lay with her back to him, the quilt pulled up to the high neck of her nightgown. Her shoulders were stiff, and he knew she was awake, but she didn’t stir. There was no real need, after all. There were innumerable nursemaids to see to the baby. He pulled his hand back silently and scrubbed the heel of it over his face.

There was the grit of sleep in the corners of his eyes, sandy roughness along his jaw, but it was his stomach that felt as though it was full of stone, full of a cold, dull ache. And then there was another part of him that ached, but it was a persistent throbbing that refused to forget the heat of his vivid dreams. He sighed harshly and flung the covers back.

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anonymous asked:

How would Shawn and you spend the day after he came back from the tour? And how he acted to see you, what he said...

I think Shawn would want to spend the entire first day back with both you and his family. Because he’d missed all of you so much, he’d just like a really chilled day/night with the people he loves. 

I think Shawn’s dad would pick him up at the airport and you would be waiting for him at his parents’ house. When he entered the room, and saw you, he’d just let his bags drop to the floor, walk straight up to you and wrap his arms around you, hugging you as tightly as he could. “Gosh, I’ve missed you” he’d whisper into your ear, stroking your back and kissing your cheek before letting his fingers disappear into your hair.  Shawn would give you a quick, yet passionate kiss, but remember his parents were there. He’d lean closer to you and whisper “I’ll save the rest for later” with a huge smug painted on his lips and then wink at you. 

I think you guys would just stay home for dinner, all enjoying finally having Shawn back. You and Aaliyah would be messing around with Shawn, totally teaming up together, saying all the jokes and little pranks you’d been planning for months while he was away. His parents would just watch you and smile, so happy about him finally being home. 

I think Shawn would be toughing you all the time, or as much as he could without getting caught. Nothing major while his parents were there, but little forehead kisses, caressing your palms, interlacing your fingers, letting his fingertips run down your arm, grabbing around your pinky fingers with his, letting his nose tip stoke your cheeks or giving your skin butterfly kisses. It would he Shawn’s way of saying how much he’d missed you. Shawn didn’t need to use words to make you feel loved, he did it by doing small things like that. 

When you and Shawn had spent the entire day with his family, he wouldn’t be able to bare not having you alone for much longer. At the end of the night, he’d get clingy and needy, but you’d kinda love seeing him suffer a little like that. You’d go to his room and finally just be the two of you. Before you were able to react or move, Shawn would push your back up against the wall and just kiss you. Kiss you in a way the made the room spin and left you gasping for air. He would kiss you so passionately, trying to make up for all the kisses he’d missed while being gone. 

Things would rather quickly turn into slow, tender sex after the house fell asleep. He’d rip of your clothes faster than ever and just push you down onto the bed. Shawn would look into your eyes during, kissing you, touching you, feeling you. He’d whimper little “i love you’s” before stroking your chest. 

Afterwards you’d pull one of his hoodies on and Shawn would walk down stairs to get some water and whatever leftovers they had in the fridge. He’d come back up to you and though it would be two in the morning, you guys would just talk for hours. Talk about all the latest gossip at home, talk about Aaliyah’s little crush, your mother’s birthday and the new episode of the 100. Shawn would talk about touring and some of his favourite shows, he’d tell you stories from traveling with the boys and he’d talk about all the new music he was writing. 

You would just sit there, eating and talking, laughing and smiling, finally feeling close to each other again, because as much as sex is intimate for you, this was the feeling both you and Shawn craved the most. Suddenly, Shawn would just lean in a plant a kiss on your lips, completely taking your breath away. Then he would let his forehead rest against yours and whispered “It feels good to be back, I missed you so much.”

You would jump into bed when the first daylight sun appeared outside, only now being done with talking. Shawn would pull you so close to him, you could feel his heart beat against your skin. Before the both of you drifting off to sleep, he would whisper “I love you” in your ear and place a damp kiss on your bare shoulder. You would tell him back that you where his and his only and he would plant a dam kiss on your bare neck and whisper back “mine” against your skin. Then you’d fall asleep in his arms, feeling his fingers slowly caressing you before he whispered “Home is wherever you are, darling”


22.05.2017: (a bit long update, sorry for my absence, life was pure stress these past weeks…) Pictures are from 2 weeks ago when I had a “free” uni week because I passed the last 2 exams and didn’t had to go to the resit ones. I used those uni-free days to go back home to visit my family and friends, which was really nice, except from the fact that I had to study for the biopsychology exam the following week, and prepare a 3-hour long class lesson/presentation thingy, everything for the same day…. I’m telling you, I was dead after that day last week with the quiz, presentation and the exam in the evening. Anyways, now I’m back again in the Netherlands and was quite productive working through some bio chapters for the next upcoming biopsychology exam in 3 weeks. Today I really need to work on my 3000 word- paper/literature review due in 2 weeks, for which I still haven’t started yet because everytime I freak out and just become more and more confused… 
So if anyone has some good writing advice, especially psychology literature reviews - please please please feel free to write me or something, you would be my absolute rescue!!!! 
Have a nice day you all, I’ll be more active on here again from now on, 
xx Amber :) 

anonymous asked:

If Ketch's new orders are to eliminate the Americans hunters, then she's going to have to kill Mary, and they have a thing even if they say they don't have a thing, Ketch it's, actually, the one who looked like he knew about the thing but was too insecure or oblivious about it to tell her anything. It'd be... i DONT know, if that's the case I hope Mary kills him before

I’m not really sure I understand what you mean there, but yes, I do agree that Ketch and Mary are having very different reactions to their (unforeseen) night of fun. I think that episode revealed a lot about who Ketch is and what he wants, but, since this is Buckleming, I’m not sure it was intentional, and how seriously should we take it. For instance, we now know with some certainty that Ketch is colour-blind, in a sense - that when we’ve seen him being rude to women, it wasn’t about them being women, per se - Ketch seems to operate in a world where the only people worthy of respect are those who do his job, and do it well. And, even more unusual, he doesn’t seem to mind if someone - even an outsider like Mary - is better than him. When she corrects him in front of Mick, who, after all, is supposed to be his boss, telling him they’ve killed eight shape-shifters, and not seven, Ketch is not annoyed in the least. Instead, he’s admirative. Considering he’s an alpha male who kills and tortures people for a living, this tells us a great deal about how his mind works.

(Mary’s attitude in that scene tells us a lot about her as well - here she is, the failed daughter, the failed wife and the failed mother, doing the only thing she knows how to do and doing it whit a proud smile on her face. I’d say there is a parallel with Dean in there somewhere, Daddy’s blunt instrument and all that, but I’m not sure it’d be appropriate - after all, we know Dean wants out, in some way; that he doesn’t want to be that person, never has. Mary, on the other hand - despite her insistence in pointing out she can ‘have it all’ is not, in fact, having it all. Whatever she says, she’s deliberately chosen hunting and killing over her sons, and she’s having a whale of a time. This is not a moral judgement: I’m simply trying to understand the character.)

Like - when Ketch was talking to Dean, he never showed his hand at all, in a way. But when Mary told him she once left hunting behind because she wanted a normal life, David does an excellent job to convey what would be pity on someone else’s face and is, instead, a kind of half empathy on Ketch’s. I have this feeling that while he was trying to make Dean his (if not sexually, than professionally, even if the subtext supported both readings), here Ketch is acknowledging he himself belongs to Mary. In that whole scene, he behaves like a subordinate - flattering without being unctuous, polite without being distant. And when he says out right that he understands and respects her unusual and ‘unwomanly’ choices (“Mrs Winchester, I believe you’re drawn to danger.”) - I believe that’s when something inside Mary woke up and decided that, after all, why not? They’re adults, and they’ve got a room, and look at this gorgeous man. In a way, he is to Mary what Crowley was to Dean - a bad influence, sure, but also genuinely attached to her within the limits of his capability to feel anything, and also non judgemental in any way and completely hers.

(In fact, I can see Drowley beginning in very much the same way during that ‘summer of love’ Dean and Crowley shared: I have no problem whatsoever in seeing this exact scene play out - Crowley offering Dean a drink in this same amused, friendly, slightly subservient way, and Dean suddenly ignoring the glass and catching Crowley’s tie in his hand instead; and pulling.)

The thing with men, though, is that - and it could be cultural, or biological - I really don’t know - very often they assume sex will change things. Since sex enpowers them but sullies you, you sometimes meet this power shifting attitude - as the old movies told us in greatest detail, women have control over men as long as they don’t sleep with them; but once the deed is done, the thing is reversed, because, as I said, sex makes men stronger and women weaker.

(Exposed to the dangers of gossip and pregnancy, that is; cheaper and dirty now their virginity is gone.)

As idiotic as this concept is, it somehow persists and lasts, and I think you could see it unfolding in this last episode as well: how Ketch’s careful politeness changes to a sort of cockiness - look at him, sitting up against the headboard, completely naked, his legs open, his penis (still this ever-important sign of masculinity and power and all things sacred) in full display. Contrast him with Mary, already dressing, as if hiding her own nudity, and slowly putting her wedding ring back on like some sinful adulteress. But next, and, okay, for once they wrote an interesting thing, the relationship between them is reversed. Ketch tries to be dominant and mark some kind of point, and Mary shoots him down every time. Having sex was her decision, not his; she’s now deciding it doesn’t mean anything, and he doesn’t have any say in that; and when Ketch confesses, with some regret, that he’s okay with it because he’s not ‘built’ for that and he’s not, in fact, capable to care for other people, just like her, Mary’s almost needlessly petty in pointing out that, again, he’s wrong, because she can, and she did - with someone else, that is, and certainly not him. At that point - and, again, I like how David played this, because he tried to cover himself at first, closing his arms across his chest, but then he sort of - manned up, so to say, and got all alpha again, choosing to remain there stark naked despite Mary’s word and even playing a card he knew would upset her: “I notice you took my advice. You had a choice to make - your work or family ties…”. Ketch doesn’t finish his sentence, but he doesn’t have to. Mary may be a strong woman, and also an unusual one, but she knows her relationship with her sons is far from perfect, and also that she’s a big part of the reason why. Hearing Ketch pointing it out - yeah, that must have smarted a bit - and, again, instead of being a ‘good’ woman and take the criticism, Mary lashes out and defends herself. And this is when Ketch finally takes a step back, because this is the kind of people he’s been trained (or trained himself) to respect: a bigger alpha.

So, really, I don’t know how to read this whole thing. I think it’s a big character shift for Ketch and almost invalidates the idea he’s a psychopath, but, then again, psychopaths are hard to write, so there’s that as well. I still don’t know what to make of Mary, and if I like her as a person (I do like her as a character, though - good choices all around). And, finally, I can’t help but feel that, if you took their relationship and that entire dialogue and gender-bended it, well, here you go - Buckleming did manage to insert their usual bit of dubcon, and yay, because look at it - Mary’s clearly superior to Ketch in most ways (professionally and, very clearly, emotionally), so if this was Mark Winchester seducing wide-eyed, damaged and vulnerable assassin Ms Ketch, who calls him Mr Winchester and hopes sex will lead to something more even if, sadly, she’s not sure she can ever love anyone - yep. They never disappoint, do they?