finally finding peace

3

-The Secret History

Aquarius turned to me and said, “If you had just put yourself together before all this, we would have had our shit together and we would’ve been happy.. Now you’re standing here, and looking back at what could have been. You’re too late.”

Aries turned to me with a smirk on her face and said, “For months I waited. You, you were busy dealing with some other shit, pointless shit and you pushed me away and how DARE you come back and tell me you miss me.”

Cancer grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, gritting her teeth and said, “You motherfucking asshole. I thought to myself you would be different. I trusted myself around you, you were the world to me. Why are you doing this to me?”

Capricorn crossed her arms and slowly she shook her head and said, “I tried to look at the bigger picture and accepted it. Yet, you’re standing here and..” suddenly tears rolled down her cheek. “How many more do I have to endure and meet to finally find some peace..”

Gemini raised her head and smiled at me and said, “I know what you’re thinking. You thought that I’d see you and I’d go weak in the knees, and cry and cling to you and tell you much I missed you?” Her body shakes and slowly she turned her head away. “You’re wrong. Absolutely wrong.”

Leo laughed with tears in her eyes and said, “You think you could come and tell me that you missed me after I have finally got myself together. You’re artistic. Brilliant performance, yours truly. Look, I may be a fool but I know my worth..”

Libra placed a hand on my shoulder and said, “Don’t blame yourself about what happened. We seemed to have gone distant, and it wasn’t just you. So it’s best that we shouldn’t dwell on it. Look at me. We’re okay..” A tear rolls down her cheek. “I..I’m okay.”

Pisces turned to me, with tears in her eyes and said, “How could you. You made me fall in love with you, and you brought up so much promises that you said you’ll keep, but what the hell is this. I sacrificed alot for you. I changed and shaped myself for you, and I was so stupid..”

Sagittarius finally looked up and stared at me and said, “I thought every possible outcome and yet, I seem to be staring at the past and what I feel right now is closure. You were good to me, but I’m sorry if I wasn’t good for you. I’ve done nothing but cared for you. I guess you weren’t ready..”

Scorpio turned to me and said, “I’m over it. I’m happy now. You could’ve been with me but noo, you fucked it up. I mean, boy, oh boy I was so wrong about you..”

Taurus slowly pulled herself away from and looked into my eyes, “Today’s the last time you’ll get to hold me. Would you even care? I doubt it. But I wished things didn’t happen the way it was, but it was good. We were good…”

Virgo exhaled and looked back at me and said, “I told you before that I was planning something big for us. You were always a part of my plans, and you just happened to drift off into your own world again, leaving me to fend off for myself. How do you think I felt? It felt like talking to a wall. I was so ready for the unthinkable. Sadly, we’re 5 years late. You’re late. I’m still going to go through with my plans..” She slowly turned around. “But you’re not in my plans anymore.”

—  Reaching out once more
Imagine Edward falling in love with you

(Ahhh guys this just hit me I gotta write something, I guess these are headcannons???)

Imagine Edward falling in love with you while Eddie is fawning over Kristen Kringle

• he watches you from behind Eddie, obviously

• and when Eddie starts to have these random urges to talk to you, he gets a little suspicious

• Edward was the smooth talking, confident guy, but he knew you needed something of a mix between him and Eddie

• Edward begins to realize that he’ll never actually be able to love you when Eddie is too smitten over Kristen

• he longs for a simple “hey” to HIM, not to Eddie

• he wants to be in control so bad, just to talk to you, just once

• for once in his short existence, Edward feels helpless because HE can’t talk with you

• he begins to feel so torn between his feelings and making sure Eddie isn’t being stupid

• although, he has managed a couple of times to slip past Eddie while he was vulnerable

• on other, um, occasions, he’s also managed to slip past Eddie just to daydream about you, and, um, stuff

• those conversations also ended up with you blushing and him genuinely smiling before Eddie came back

• Edward deciding that it was time for Eddie to realize that Kristen was a big no-no

• so he *accidentally* strangles Kristen Kringle

• and he fights his way into merging with Eddie

• because he’s so deeply in love with you, and he wins this time

• Edward and Eddie no longer existed separately, but cohesively to create the lovable Ed

• the new Ed charms the absolute crap out of you, while his geeky, riddle/fact-loving side is still there

• Ed realizing that Edward had fought for you; something that he didn’t realize that side of him was capable of

• Ed finally finding peace for Edward when you begin an actual relationship with him

Originally posted by geekyimagines

I'm just going to put my crack theory/headcanon about what happened at Luke's school right here

First off, this is pure speculation. I’m basing this on one-off lines and character as previously established.

Kylo is indeed responsible for the destruction of whatever it was Luke was building. It was not premeditated. The transmission from Leia and/or news over the Holonet let him know that the people he has trusted yet doubted his whole life have utterly betrayed him by denying him crucial information about his heritage. It’s the last straw. He snaps, his Force powers running out of control. All the emotions he’s been unable to process, unable to successfully let go, fuel his rage and anger and we get the blazing inferno we see on film.

Afterwards, he horrified, but convinced he can’t repair things now. He knows he’s fallen, and the voice in his head that has been carefully cultivating his resentment both confirms his guilt while trying to redirect it into a sense of destiny. Yes, he is Dark, he is awful, this is why he never fit in, he is supposed to be someone different, stronger. If he embraces this, he will finally be accepted. He will finally find the peace that eludes him. So he follows directions and heads to meet Snoke.

mumbles something about tim sitting a safe distance away from a cliff face after jack’s death and just. watching one sun rise to his left and another set to his right and admiring the way light shifts and changes

tim picking up writing again. starting small. little stories that he can give hundreds of perspectives because he’s experienced so many things. working his way up to writing about himself. about who he is and where he’s been and. where he wants to go

tim relearning how to smile and laugh and snort and use words jack never would. remembering how to see the world in shades of blue and orange and purple instead of just hyperion yellow

tim having a life after jack that only gets better

Can’t Sleep

Request: could you pls write a murphy fic where the reader cant sleep and shes frustrated and starts moving shit around and making a ruckus and just groans and murphy is PISSED bc hes tired but he helps out and he starts getting less angry over time and before you kno it reader and murphy are sleeping safe and sound

Requested by: anonymous.

A/N: I didn’t completely understand, uhhhh, but I tried. So I hope I did your request justice.

Pairing: Murphy x Reader

Warnings: none.


Originally posted by karlurbvns

You kicked and turned. Tossing and turning. It was hard to sleep when all you could think about was the fact that the world would be ending in a span of a few weeks and as of right now, there wasn’t anything you could do.

You missed the way your bed partner groaned in frustration, as you were too busy trying to calm your own frustration. It was impossible to sleep when all you could think about was the fact that you were going to inevitably die.

You kicked out your foot again, quite aggressively turning on to your stomach, your hand by accident hitting the man who lied beside you. You groaned, closing your eyes with force as you tried to sleep. Sleep was scarce now-a-days and you could barely even keep your eyes shut for more than an hour.

You were exhausted but that seemed to be irrelevant apparently.

“What the hell is your problem, Y/N?” Murphy, your bedside partner growled. You ashamedly opened your eyes, turning to looked at his angry eyes and suddenly realized not only were you keeping yourself awake you were keeping Murphy awake. Guilt filled within you and smiling sheepishly, you apologized. “I’m sorry, Murph.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” He sighed, turning over to his back. Staring at the ceiling there was a moment of silence before he asked; “what’s wrong?”

“I can’t sleep.” You said.

“Yeah,” he laughed sarcastically; “I can see that.”

“Sorry,” you apologized again. “I mean, I can’t sleep thinking about how we can and most likely are going to die within the next week or so.” 

Murphy didn’t reply and you figured that maybe he didn’t care as much as you thought he did. Sighing, you told yourself mentally to suck it up and turned to try and go to sleep, cautious of your movements. When you turned though, an arm place themselves around your waist and pulled you so you were against a chest.

“Murphy…?” You murmured, happy you weren’t facing him so he couldn’t see your blush.

“Just sleep.” Was all he said. You paused, thinking of something to say but found nothing. Smiling to yourself softly, you laid your head down and closed your eyes. Finally finding peace.

youtube

“Forgetting
All the hurt inside you’ve learned to hide so well
Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can’t be who you are

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest”

Thank you, Chester, for all of the amazing and wonderful music you’ve helped made happen over the years from me and all of us that you’ve not only inspired with your music, but have also helped get through our darkest times. I hope that you are finally able rest well and finally find peace.   

R.I.P Chester Bennington. 

(March 20, 1976 - July 20, 2017)

anonymous asked:

could I get something of McCree or Hanzo comforting their depressed s/o (who has self image issues?) ive been having trouble with my self image issues lately

Of course, you can have both, I’m sorry for the delay in this and I hope this helps in any way. I hope you can resolve the issues you’re having soon, all the best to you, lovely :)


McCree

You were sitting on your bed in you and McCree’s bedroom, staring into the mirror with pursed lips. You just couldn’t see past your insecurities, no matter how hard you tried. It didn’t help that everywhere you looked there seemed to be a mirror, it made it harder and harder to occupy your mind elsewhere.

You got up and purposefully strode toward the mirror and turned it round so it faced the other way, doing the same to all the others before returning to your position on the bed, arms and legs crossed. You breathed a sigh of relief and fell back, closing your eyes in the hopes of finally finding some peace.

“Evenin’ darlin’,” the familiar southern drawl made you smile and grimace all at the same time. While you loved your cowboy he was an observant fellow and was bound to say something about the mirrors.

“What’ve you done to the mirr’rs doll?” he asked instantly, and you could hear his brows knitted together in worry.

“Nothing.” You murmured, hoping he would move on and knowing deep down he wouldn’t. His footsteps became closer until the bed sank beside you. You turned your head slightly and opened an eye to see McCree lying on his side, gazing into your eyes.

“What’s up?” his voice was lower this time, caring and sweet and you felt the urge to spill your thoughts into his head to share them, have someone to understand. But you couldn’t find the words. Instead, you turned onto your side and stared right back at him. His head tilted to the side and he bit his lip.

“You’re so amazing, Y/N,” he whispered breathily, “So drop dead gorgeous with a personality that shines even brighter than my belt buckle.” You allowed him a small chuckle at that and his face lit up. 

“Thank you, but…” you began but he held his hand up to stop you.

“You’re amazing.” he finished for you and for now, you decided to concede and just nodded, wriggling over into his open arms, nestling against his chest. He held you close for hours, whispering all the compliments under the sun into your ear. You knew you’d have to talk about it at some point but surprisingly, you still felt a little better afterwards.


Hanzo

You sat on the roof and watched the people walking past, imagining their stories; where they were going, where they’d been. Hanzo did this often, though you knew his mind was always elsewhere when he did so, as was yours at present. You were having a bad day, Jack having been on your back for some missing paperwork, a tough mission and to top it all off, your confidence was slipping.

You’d never felt confident in yourself, in your own skin. It wasn’t something that felt natural to you and sometimes you just couldn’t stand to look in a mirror. Today was one of those days. Which meant you had to avoid Hanzo, however much it pained you.

He just did not understand.

He would often compliment your looks or just you in general, usually eliciting a wince from you. Somehow he couldn’t get into his head how you could have insecurities despite his own multitude of them. In his eyes, you were and forever would be perfect which, whilst being the main thing to get you up in the morning, was also hard to deal with on days like these.

“Y/N?” You heard the familiar voice and cursed under your breath, whenever you thought about him he seemed to miraculously appear. You were beginning to wonder if he had some sort of mind-reading abilities.

He came and stood beside you, without another word and you simply nodded toward him. Your relationship wasn’t based on a constant need for idle chitchat. All words were carefully thought out, utterly heartfelt and always necessary otherwise nothing was said at all.

“Bad day?” He asked quietly and again you just nodded. He snaked his arm around your waist and squeezed lightly, causing you to rest your head on his shoulder with a light sigh.

“Tell me when you are ready,” he concluded, “For now, we can just stay here.”

You could almost feel tears coming to your eyes at his complete understanding of the situation and with relief that he wasn’t currently going to push the matter. You leaned into him more and whispered.

“I love you, Hanzo.”

“I love you too, my beautiful flower.”

The blush on your cheeks got you a rare smile from Hanzo as he pressed a kiss to your temple and you were finally content in his arms, safe from all your demons.

He (Batman) goes into the desert on a quest, and as he goes deeper and deeper down the river, Apocalypse Now-style, his friends try to rescue him. All the Robins are in this story. I started as a Robin writer. I started as a Dick Grayson, Robin War writer. This is a story about Jason, about Tim, about Dick, about Damian, and their reaction to what their father’s going through. Damian’s seeing him propose to someone who’s not his mother. It’s about them reacting to their father, and saying, ‘Is he going crazy, or is he finally finding peace?’ Of course, because it’s comics, the way they try to determine that is to punch him in the face.
— 

Tom King (Batman’s writer)

So, I stumbled upon this and apparently Jason is going to appear in the next arc of Batman called “Dream A Dream of Me” which will start on October.

Jason will also appear in Trinity next month where he will be part of arc called “Dark Destiny”.

so like, while i get how people view noodle as like, a role model and talented nonwhite feminist woman, i think people are really skipping over the huge flaws in her character. see while ppl are confused as to how exactly 3 violent, greatly flawed grown men were able to raise such a wonderful role model, the thing is they actually DIDNT. in a way it never really was possible for that to happen. noodle grew up around a lying and charismatic man(murdoc), so she could easily lie about her mental state/hobbies/mood as well as murdoc could. in one interview she’s actually said she relieves stress by kicking the shit out of a punching bag, imagining that its murdoc “only half joking” thats a sign that murdoc was not a picture perfect father or role model to her. he taught her how to hold a grudge (el mañana), how to be violent (theres a difference between knowledge on combat and just being a violent person), and how to lie (self explanatory). and see when she finally reached japan at the end of phase 3 (book of noodle) she finally thought she was finding peace. her dads werent with her but really thats a blessing in a way, as they were all violent men (maybe not toward her, but around her) she thought she had a mentor/mother figure, and a peaceful place to be as a permanent rest from the traumatic life she’d left behind. she thought she could turn over a new leaf and become a better person, better than the people who raised her. she was maybe a few years in before she released a shape shifting demon which no doubt caused her to possibly relapse or at least feel like she was back to square one, fighting. and to top it all off, when she did finally slay the demon (after more than one year of hunting it mind you) she a was called *back* to the place she thought she was finally getting distant from. but she loved her dads too damn much to leave them and instead of meeting changed men, noodle was thrown right back into the loop of abuse and kidnapping and various crimes that went into making humanz.
so no, noodle is not perfect, noodle is not what half of yall interpret her to be, she is a disaster. the product of all the wrong influences. shes a violent, angry, grudge-holding liar that a lot of us can probably relate to. behind her public persona, shes killed and torn apart an innocent machine, and still comforts her bandmates, though theyve done hardly anything to comfort her. noodle is an extremely flawed woman stuck in the cycle of trying to better herself, then going right back into her bitter and upset self, and i want people to stop portraying her as a perfect, soft spoken girl who was raised ‘flawlessly’

Runaways • Obi-Wan Kenobi

Hey guys !! So this wasn’t requested but I know you guys have been waiting for something new and so I thought you’d enjoy this. I’ve not seen an imagine like this so I thought I’d write one. Love you guys, thank you for being so patient !! 💖

Summary: You and Obi-Wan are both Jedi in a secret relationship and things have been going smoothly until you find that you’re pregnant. In an attempt to spare Obi-Wan from having to leave the Order, you run away. What you don’t expect, however, is for him to follow you.

..

The news that the medic droid had given you should have made you jump for joy. You should have rushed home to your secret lover and celebrated as soon as you found out. However, the news sent a feeling of fear and panic through you. As a Jedi Knight, attachments were forbidden. Yet, here you were, pregnant with Obi-Wan Kenobi’s baby.

At first, you planned to tell him. You really did. You went over a thousand scenarios in your head, trying to find the least painful way of telling him. You knew he would leave you. Obi-Wan loved being a Jedi. It would be cruel to take that from him. You began to blame yourself for everything.

You were going to be discharged from the Order, anyway. You had to remind yourself as you packed up the last of your things. You were going to be forced to leave as soon as you started showing. It would all be less painful for Obi-Wan in the long run. He wouldn’t have his Jedi status taken from him and he would not have to care for a baby that he wouldn’t love. It would only hold him back, and you couldn’t do that to him.

You loved him, and so you had to leave him.

You covered your mouth as another sob racked your body. You were going to miss everything. Your friends, your old Master, the Temple. Most of all, you were going to miss Obi-Wan dearly.

You snuck away from the Temple, taking one last glance back at your old life that you were going to leave behind. And with that, you were off to your new life with you and your future child..

-

// eight months later


Alderaan was a lovely planet. You’d come to Alderaan because Padmé and Bail, the only two who knew of your circumstances, had insisted that you and your baby would thrive there.

In the eight months that you had been gone, you’d missed Obi-Wan terribly. Padmé would visit you often and tell you of the goings on that you couldn’t find on the Holo News.

She would tell you about Anakin and Obi-Wan’s ridiculous missions and their bickering. She would tell you how Chancellor Palpatine asked about you often. She would tell you how Master Yoda would personally seek her out and wish you well, since he always knew when she was lying.

She even told you how Obi-Wan was doing, which wasn’t as well as you’d hoped. When he found that you were gone, he was devastated. Despite Obi-Wan’s tight reign on his emotions, he had confided in Padmé. He knew that she knew where you were, but Padmé promised you she would not tell.

After that, Obi-Wan became very quiet. Anakin would try to joke with him and cheer him up, but Obi didn’t respond to any of it. He was irritable, when he spoke. Though, most of the time he didn’t.

You hated what you’d done to him, but you knew going back to him would ruin everything. After a while of Padmé telling you things, you finally asked her to stop. You couldn’t bear to hear another thing about Obi-Wan.

And it worked. For a while, the aching in your chest dulled. You focused solely on your pregnancy and your new job as Bail’s secretary. Then, one day, Padmé sent you a transmission that caused a cold panic to settle in your stomach.

“(Y/n), I’m so sorry. I’m afraid that Obi-Wan is on his way to your apartment. I told Anakin your address because he wanted to send you something for the baby. However, he told Obi-Wan. I’m sorry, I know this is all my fault and I thought I’d warn you before he arrived so you could be prepared. I’m sorry” the message played and Padmé’s hologram disappeared. You gaped at your protocol droid for a good few minutes before you leapt into action.

You rushed to your room as fast as you could with your enlarged belly and struggled to pack things in your suitcase. C7S7 followed you, offering his hand to help you.

You leaned over your bed to catch your breath. Being pregnant was very different from your usual Jedi life. You’d learned that the first few months of being pregnant.

Just as you were about to continue packing your things, a familiar and stern voice stopped you dead in your tracks.

“Don’t you dare,” Obi-Wan spoke lowly. He’d never spoken to you like that, and it sent a chill to crawl up your spine. You stiffened, but didn’t turn around to face him. You knew it would all be over when he saw your enlarged stomach.

“Why?” he asked after a few moments of silence. “This is where you ran off to for eight insufferable months? For what?” you could tell he was agitated, and you didn’t blame him.

“Obi-Wan, you need to go” you attempted softly. You stayed with your back to him as fresh tears welled up in your eyes.

He scoffed. “What did I do wrong? Why couldn’t you talk to me about it? I-I don’t understand” he exclaimed.

“Just go” you replied sternly, hoping he would comply since your tone had changed. He didn’t even move.

“You know, what you’ve done is terribly selfish” at this, your fists clenched, but you remained silent. “How do you think this little disappearing act made me feel? You didn’t even talk to me, or bother to say goodbye” you bit your lip and closed your eyes as tears trickled down your cheeks.

“It’s not..it’s not like that” you tried to tell him, but his mood took a turn for the worse.

“I know I couldn’t give you what you truly wanted, I know,” he began, his voice holding exhaustion. “I couldn’t give you a family, or take you out and show you off, or even spend a lot of time with you, and I’m sorry I couldn’t be good enough. But damn it, (y/n), you could have told me! I would have run away with you if that’s what you wanted!” his words held sincerity and there was no doubt that his eyes held the same.

If you’d have just told him, he would have run away with you. The thought made you hate yourself. You began crying, shrinking away from your past lover.

You heard his footsteps, and you couldn’t hide from him any longer. You turned around, calling out to him.

Obi-Wan’s retreating figure stopped. You could feel the hope blossoming inside of him.

He turned around, and immediately his eyes fell to your swollen belly. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened as he stared at you.

“I’m pregnant, and she’s yours” you breathed out. “I couldn’t make you leave the Order because of this. I knew it was over for me, the Council would banish me eventually. But you, you had a chance to remain in the Order and continue what you love. I couldn’t take that from you, so I left. I’m sorry, Obi-Wan, I love you…but I had to leave”

The room was silent for a long while. You could tell Obi was thinking about everything you said. You swallowed hard, avoiding his gaze.

Finally, he said something. “(Y/n), how could you think I’d rather remain in the Order and lose you and our child than leave the Order and be with you?” he asked incredulously.

“I just thought-” before you could finish your statement, Obi-Wan grabbed both of your hands in his and rested his forehead against yours.

“Let’s run away” he sighed. You nearly gasped and took your hands from his. You backed up slightly and now it was your turn to stare at him wide eyed and mouth agape.

“No, Obi, you love the Order. I couldn’t take you away from that” you told him.

“Darling, you shouldn’t be the only one making sacrifices because of the baby. I want to be with you and our daughter. If I have to leave the Order to be with you, I’ll do it. I love you more than anything. If you think I wouldn’t follow you anywhere, you’re wrong. I will leave everything behind for you” Obi told you. He grabbed your hands again, pressing kisses to the backs of them lightly.

“Obi, I’m so sorry I left” you whimpered. You threw your arms around him and embraced him tightly. Force, you missed him. Being in his arms was a euphoric feeling.

“I’ll inform the Council of my departure. I love you, never forget that” he murmured. He cupped your cheeks with his hands and pressed his lips to yours in a passionate kiss. His lips were just as soft as you remembered, and you hummed contently into the kiss.

He was so excited for the arrival of (y/d/n). You’d both purchased an apartment on Naboo, thanks to Padmé’s insistence, and things were great.

When you had (y/d/n), Obi-Wan was the most supportive he’d ever been. He took care of you and the baby without complaint. You were so happy that you had agreed to run away from the Order with him. He was going to be an outstanding father, you knew it.

And maybe, just maybe, the two of you would finally find the peace that you’d been seeking all those years as a Jedi….