Forget and Move On
(Rick x Reader Fluff // Some swearing)
My voice hardly above a whisper, afraid of derailing his train of thought.
I was sitting on his bed in his closet of a bedroom, doodling aliens into my sketchbook. The monster that we had encountered only mere hours ago slowly coming to life on the page, not quite as terrifying as it probably was in really life but as close as my memory could serve. As much as I loved going on adventures with Rick: the adrenaline, the danger, the different dimensions… I could never just forget what had happened. Each near death experience swimming at the back of my mind; waiting for night to fall so that they can strike again with anguish. But It help to draw them. Took some of their power away. Therapeutic… as my father would say. And I suppose that was part of the reason I admired Rick so much, he could just forget and move on…
My gaze shifted. Finding it’s way onto his silhouette, hunched over his desk, checking some absurdly complicated calculation I would never be able to understand…
The pencil went limp in my hand, as the question floated to the surface of my mind. To be more accurate, a memory that lead onto the question. A memory of-
“(Y/n)?” His gruff voice bounced off the walls, snapping me out out of my thoughts like a sharp bark of a dog. I flinched. Our eyes made contact, his gaze hard but soft. Grilling yet concerned. I relaxed a little, tasting iron as I realised I had bitten my lip so hard it had bled.
Rick squinted his eyes momentarily, staring at me, pulling me apart then fitting me back together in his mind.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“W-who said there was anything wrong?” I countered quickly, only wanting to avoid to subject. Just forget and move one. Forget and move-
“You only bite your lip when your upset about something,” my eyes darted to the notes pinned to his wall which connected together in a spiderweb of white string and push pins, “A-and you called for me first.”
I flushed, the blood rushing to my face from embarrassment that he knew me so well, and that I had completely lost track of everything. That happened often when I was thinking hard. I swallowed, taking a moment to reset, to breath. Hesitantly, I picked up my sketchbook which had fallen off my lap. I started to flip through the pages; procrastinating on saying anything. Finally, my fingers halted on a picture I had drawn a few months back, when I had first lost them. My thumb trailed over their feature. Their cheeks. Their jawline. Taking them in. Remembering…
“I… I want to see my parents,” the tears started to swell up in my eyes but I gritted my teeth, trying to keep them from falling. Rick shifted his gaze to stare at the drawing. I continued, my words opening up a cascading waterfall, frantically trying to explain, “I know th- that their gone in this dimension. But I was thinking, there are infinite versions of myself and maybe we could find one where my parents were still around but I wasn’t and-”
“You want to leave.” He cut in. He turned away so that he was half hidden in the shadows, his expression unreadable.
My voice faltered.
“N-no. Not leave…” I thought of how to phrase it best, brows knitting together, “More like a holiday… from this.” My wrist twisted slightly, signifying… everything.
My relationship with Rick, our adventures, everything I experienced because of him summed up in one word and a hand gesture. ‘This’…
“It’s not that I don’t love you. Or our adventures. Or this surreal and unforgettable existence you’ve turned my life into,” the tears finally breached their boundaries and rolled down my cheek, “It’s just, it’s all a bit too much… I can hardly sleep at night these days, Rick. I just need a little - break.” My voice broke. I fell silent, knowing that even if I tried to speak again, he wouldn’t understand.
I stared at him, worried about his reaction. But his eyes were cold and emotionless. Obscure. My mind started to race. He would probably get angry and force me to leave or abandon me…
I was right, I shouldn’t have mentioned it. I should never have even suggested it. It was stupid even to think he would even understand, now I was just a little piece of shit having an emotional breakdown in his bedroom. With no value. No fucking use-
Suddenly, My face was shoved into his blue shirt as he pulled me into him. His warmth heating up my face as sobs started to rack my body. The gentle caressing of his hand pulling me back into the moment; bringing my mind, which was spinning off at 1600 kilometres an hour, to a crashing halt. I wrapped my hand around him, pulling him closer, engulfing myself in his scent of freshly pressed clothes, meteorite dust and a faint wisp of alcohol. He shushed me, holding me tight.
“B-bay, baby hush, don’t worry about it. I was actually thinking the same thing, I’ve already made all the preparations.” He whispered into my ear, his low voice inaudible to anyone but me. Soothing.
“W-we can go as soon as you want. Just say the word…” his voice trailed off. My tears continued to flow but my sobs subsided, letting the weight of the settling silence crush us together. Gently he continued to hold me, cradle me, humming me to sleep. My Rick, although he tried not to show it, was kinder than others. He was still stubborn with a temper and often selfish, but he cared; even if a little too much…
And eventually I could feel my consciousness slowly slipping through my grasp. My eye lids fluttered, breath deepening, mind sinking into the warm comfort of sleep.
“I love you,” I mumbled into his chest, snuggling into the soft cotton. My breathing syncing with his. And I swear (although Rick denied it later) I heard him, just as I fell under the darkness, my consciousness fluttering from my grasp.
I am sure I heard him-
“I love you too (y/n), more than you would know.”
Written by M.S.Turberfield