I know it! the more coffee I drink, the more depressed I am. I know these kind of nights I’m living these days, I know I’ve been trying not to talk, I know that winter is coming, and I just wish that I could spend more time with my self, more time alone, it’s always been my time of the year, more books, more movies, more coffee, and it should be more and lots lots of writing.
I’ve just finished watching a movie. Gladly, I cried, well I spent all the movie and tissues by my side, drinking very large cup of coffee, as a warm comforter to me, I’m really glad that I finally cried.
Now, all I’m thinking is I really want to be happy, all I’m thinking is about me and my daughter, how could I make her happy, how could I make her life look complete and perfect, how could I be a better mom, the best mom ever, and I wonder how moms divide their love between their kids, sometimes when I look at her, I think that I can’t love anyone as I love her, I keep feeding her love, hugs, and kisses all day, sometimes she yells at me “mamaaaa” like this is enough! and it’s never been enough, not really!
all I need, to keep this going, I should be happy to keep this giving, this life and love going, we should be happy, we both need to be happy.
*I’m thinking to start writing diaries in english, I’ve just felt it’s more convenient to talk like this, but I guess I need to keep it in some private place, moving to another place would be better, any suggestions?
A big thank you to the folks at twitter who gave me great ideas. I tried to put them all in one picture. Ichigo shouldn’t have made Grimmjow any promises he couldn’t keep. Who cares if it’s 3am? He wants his fight!