film:hercules

Disney Headcanon No One Asked For

Okay, so I was watching Hercules last night, and you know that scene when Meg convinces good ‘ol Herc to play hooky? And she trips down the stairs? And she says “Sorry, weak ankles…”

Remember that sentence.

Anyway, so after Herc saves the day and decides to stay with Meg and everything, they probably got married. I mean, right? And naturally, they have a kid. And this kid, being part god, after all, is almost as strong as his dad, right? Okay.

So this kid follows in his dad’s footsteps and becomes a hero. He fights all manner of monsters and what have you. Well, one day, he gets in this epic battle with a sea serpent. The fight lasts days and nights, through storm and perilous sea, etc. Eventually the kid prevails, but his boat is wrecked, and he is exhausted. He barely manages to swim toward the distant land and washes up on an unfamiliar beach. One of the native people finds him on the shore and decides to take in this strange man who defeated the water snake.

Still with me? Okay.

So, the kid wakes up in a hut with this very pretty girl watching him attentively. She speaks a language he has never heard before and offers him food. As she nurses him back to health, the kid starts to learn words and phrases of her language. Once he gets his strength back, he starts helping her village. He helps gather food, defeats vicious beasts, and finally drives off the marauding warriors that have been terrorizing the village for years. He wins the people’s favor and the girl’s heart, and he marries her. And they have a son.

Their son is strong too, and grows to be a big man with a good reputation, though not as great as his father. He marries well and has a son of his own.

And this son? He seems to be a throwback to Hercules himself. He has a chiseled jaw, rippling muscles and amazing strength! But he has a gentle spirit. He loves children, talks to animals, and has a passion for the culinary arts. His father cringes when he chooses to take dance lessons rather than learn the ways of a warrior.

It is to the father’s utmost relief when this son is chosen to be the bodyguard of the kindgom’s royal advisor. The son gladly takes the position to please his father, though his childlike gentleness continues to shine through even in his new position.

What’s this son’s name, you ask? Who is this great-grandchild of Hercules and Megara?

Kronk Pepikrankenitz.

And he has Meg’s weak ankles.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Originally posted by lilbittieofeverything

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the disney movie nobody asked for