film: the avengers

anonymous asked:

After reading your mini Drunk! Spidey story I got curious. What would Drunk!Spidey be like and how would the Avengers handle it?

Can you believe I already have a batch of drunk!Peter headcanons? @myself why

6

Harry Potter/Avengers AU

The Avengers are a team of Witches and Wizards fighting against the Dark Lord Thanos. 

Tony is the mad Wizarding inventor who is a genius with a wand. Bruce is a part-time healer, full-time shape-shifting werewolf. Clint and Natasha are Unspeakables. Thor is a Quidditch beater. And Auror Steve has one hell of a shield charm. 

(Oh, and Loki is a Death Eater, which no one is surprised about)

  • [The coffee-maker is broken.]
  • Nick:Who broke it? I'm not mad; I just wanna know.
  • Steve:...I did. I broke it.
  • Nick:No, no you didn't. Thor?
  • Thor:Do not look at me...look at Clinton.
  • Clint:What? I didn't break it.
  • Thor:Hmm, that's strange. How did you even know it was broken?
  • Clint:Because it's sitting right in front of us...and it’s broken.
  • Thor:Suspicious.
  • Clint:No, it's not!
  • Tony:If it matters, probably not, but Natasha was the last one to use it...
  • Natasha:Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
  • Tony:Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Natasha:I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that, Tony.
  • Steve:No, no, let's not fight. I broke it, Nick; let me pay for it.
  • Nick:No. Who broke it?
  • Clint:Nick? Dr. Banner's been awfully quiet...
  • Bruce:REALLY.
  • Clint:Yeah, really.
  • Bruce:OH MY-
  • [Everyone begins fighting.]
  • Nick:[to Maria] I broke it. It burned my hand, so I shot it with an assault rifle. I predict, in ten minutes they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.