film: phantom of the opera

So tonight I found myself in one of the hipsteriest, millennialist, most nightlife-friendly parts of Nashville (where I live) and the place was pretty hopping. Like busy. All these twenty somethings wandering about in their heels and coiffed hair and such.

And then

Speeding down the main street of this part of town

With windows down

Comes this car, blasting music.

Not so unusual.

But what were they blasting?

Ladies and gentlemen, this car was BLASTING, at MAX VOLUME, down this INCREDIBLY BUSY STREET “dear old friends” from Love Never Dies.

I ascended the astral plane tonight

anonymous asked:

Who is james barbour?

James Barbour is the current Phantom on Broadway. My problem (and most people’s problems with him) is that He was tried and convicted of having sexual relationships with a 15 year old girl while giving her a tour of the backstage of Jane Eyre. The only reason he is not a registered sex offender was because he took a plea bargain. He absolutely disgusts me and he definitely does not deserve to be acting on broadway.

hamilton where everything is the same except all of the costumes are neon and covered in shitty sequins patters 

dear evan hansen but ben platt is cosplaying as beyonce the entire time

book of mormon except everyone is on helium apart from elder mckinley, who has the pitch of his voice lowered to the point where he sounds like James Earl Jones (and they have the balloons with them on stage) 

be more chill but the squip is wearing New Year’s sunglasses which light up and are covered in glitter

the great comet where nick pitera is playing all the roles at the same time 

newsies but everyone has mashed potatoes in their mouths

falsettos where jason is played by shaquille o’neal and whizzer is played by literally anyone but they’ve just done like 6 pounds of crack 

phantom of the opera except everyone is wearing 3 snapbacks, all facing different directions

in the heights but usnavi’s lines are replaced with owen wilson saying “wow”

hamilton: my musical starts with a badass opening number talking about my life as an American hero! 

phantom of the opera: my musical starts with auctioning off my precious items which then leads into a badass musical overture! 

dear evan hansen: my musical starts with a kid obsessing over a girl he likes, which then slides into a song about the struggles of parenting! 

be more chill: my musical starts with a creepy theme, and then we open on a relatable anthem of people saying “na na na” over and over again, but it’s still a really catchy song! 

book of mormon: my musical starts with people explaining the religion they follow, backed by really bouncy, jazzy music! 

falsettos: bitch 

Remember that one time in Leroux’s Phantom when Raoul’s just minding his own business in his room and all of a sudden he sees Erik’s creepy glowing cat eyeballs on his balcony because Erik has just been standing there watching him sleep?

And Raoul’s first response is to SHOOT ERIK WITH THE GUN HE KEEPS UNDER HIS PILLOW?

And Phillippe bounds upstairs after a hail of gunfire interrupts his evening Most Interesting Man in the World bourbon time and he’s like, “Hi, um, quick question: what the fuck?”

And Raoul’s just like, “My girlfriend’s boyfriend was watching me take a nap so I shot him.”

And they go outside and there’s BLOOD ON THE BALCONY.

Which means Raoul got him. Raoul shot the Phantom of the Opera and Erik was probably so humiliated by the whole thing that he didn’t say anything because then he’d have to admit that in addition to watching Christine sleep, he also watched her renegade, quietly badass sensitive sailor boyfriend sleep. And got shot because of it.

Good ol’ Sharp Shooter de Chagny.