film: giant

RETURN OF THE MAGICAL WIZARD MEAD

EVENTUALLY ODIN FINDS OUT ABOUT SUTTUNG AND HIS MAGICAL WIZARD MEAD, AND HE DECIDES HE WANTS IT. ODIN LIKES TO BE GOOD AT THINGS, AND HE’S AN EXPERT AT COMPLETELY FUCKING INSANE PLANS. 

HE SETS OFF TO SUTTUNG’S HOUSE, AND ON THE WAY HE MEETS SOME FARMERS WHO REALLY WANT TO BUY HIS WHETSTONE. HE JUST LOBS IT UP IN THE AIR AND LETS THEM FUCKING MURDER EACH OTHER FOR IT. WHEN THEY’RE ALL DEAD HE PICKS IT UP AGAIN AND CONTINUES ON HIS WAY. ODIN REALLY IS A FUCKING DICK.

ODIN IS A DICK, AND HE’S ALSO ONE HELL OF A LAZY MOTHERFUCKER. HE STAYS AT THE HOUSE OF SUTTUNG’S BROTHER BAUGI, WHO WANTS HIS FAIR SHARE OF THE WIZARD MEAD. HE GIVES BAUGI A FUCKING MASSIVE DRILL, AND TELLS HIM TO BURROW INTO SUTTUNG’S MOUNTAIN. WHEN THERE’S A TINY HOLE, ODIN TURNS INTO A SNAKE AND SNEAKS IN.

IN ORDER TO GET AT THE MEAD, THOUGH, HE HAS TO GET PAST SUTTUNG’S DAUGHTER GUNNLOD. ODIN BEING A HORNY MOTHERFUCKER, HE JUST FUCKS HER FOR THREE WHOLE NIGHTS. THIS ENTITLES HIM TO THREE DRINKS OF THE MEAD, BUT HE JUST STEALS THE WHOLE BOTTLE AND FUCKS OFF.

HE DOESN’T EVEN CALL HER IN THE MORNING.