Eposette Aesthetic: Film Noir AU

I am the devil, but that’s all the same to me.

Don’t let appearances fool you, rumour has it that the blonde slip of a dame you see at the bar is the daughter of Private Detective Jean Valjean. Yes, that Jean Valjean, you know the one. You can bet your ass she’s capable of knocking off men thrice her size and if push comes to shove, she’ll be the one taking over her old man’s business.

That slash of red lipstick like a bloody smile is the only warning sign you’ll get not to mess with this broad. A cunning, shrewd minx if there ever was one, but what else do you expect from a Thenardier brat? Particularly one with close ties to the gunsel Montparnasse. Little does anyone know she doubles as an Informant for Valjean, but lately it’s his daughter doing most of the collecting…
1940s slang

Gas - either a good time or something that was really funny
Pass the buck – pass responsibility for
Above my pay grade – don’t ask me
Killer-diller – good stuff
Fat-head – stupid or foolish person
Chrome-dome – word for a bald headed man
Eager beaver – enthusiastic helper
Fuddy-Duddy – old-fashioned person
Dope – Back in the 1940s this word meant information, however now it is another word for drugs.
Drop – This word meant to kill.
Geezer – This word was a derogatory term for an older person.
Bum rap – This referred to a false accusation.
Bust your chops – This phrase was basically meant as a scolding, maybe to yell, but not to literally hit someone.
Broad- a woman

Carry a Torch – to have a crush on someone
Cat’s Meow – something splendid or stylish; The best or greatest, wonderful
Dame- a woman
Gams – a woman’s legs
Grandstand – to show off
Applesauce – an expletive; same as horsefeathers, As in “Ah applesauce!
Jalopy – old car
Joint – a club, usually selling alcohol
Keen – attractive or appealing
Kisser – mouth
Line – insincere flattery
Stuck On – having a crush on
Swanky – ritzy
Swell- wonderful
Wise guy- a smart ass
Scram – ask someone to leave immediately
Gussy-to smarten up or dress up
outfit Military unit, a term with cowboy origins.
bad news- trouble
can- jail
ease up- calm down
get a load of that- look at that
hitch- to get married
hotshot- expert
in my book- in my opinion
patsy- scapegoat
pull - influence
paw- hand, as in “paws off!”
crummy - rotten, no good
wolf- aggressively forward man
get lost!
beat- exhausted
dang it!
Fall Guy - Victim of a frame
what a peach - referring to a sweet, charming, nice young woman
Buck up - cheer up, stiffen your spine

anonymous asked:

can i request daisuga, lady in red? thank you very much!

“You know, when they said to meet the ‘lady in red,’ I thought they meant an actual lady,” Daichi says, tipping the edge of his hat. His eyes trail down the figure of his supposed correspondent. 

Suga laughs. He tosses his head, the long silver locks of his wig flowing easily with the movement. With his pale skin and his lithe frame and in that silky blood-red dress, he looks exactly like a woman you did not want to cross—from a distance. When he first stepped into the room, all eyes were on him, though only briefly, because even in this shady bar on the messy side of town, everyone knows to avert their gazes from someone who walks with such purpose and isn’t afraid to be the centre of attention. 

And in Daichi’s line of business, attention is the one thing you must never have. Attention could get you killed.

But here is Suga, fair-skinned and with that charming mole under his left eye, lounging against the bar as if he owned the place. It was only when he’d walked right up to Daichi that Daichi notices the wide stance, the shape of his jaw under the shadows thrown by the bar lamps.

“Aren’t you contracted men,” Suga says, voice low and husky as he leans towards Daichi, “into the whole fierce seductress approaching you with an ulterior motive?”

“I’m well aware of your ulterior motive,” Daichi says, meeting Suga’s surprisingly piercing gaze, pretending he isn’t itching from just sitting next to someone this eye-catching. “And you know mine, Suga. So let’s just get on to business, and skip the pleasantries, shall we?”

Something close to amusement sparkles in Suga’s eyes. “I thought you were a gentleman,” he says airily, and then loud enough for even the bartender to hear. “But here you are propositioning me this early in the night.”

Daichi stares back steadily, even though he’s well aware of the heat in his cheeks. He’s been trained to keep his composure in any and all situations necessary, but he’s never met quite an enigma as Suga.

“Shall we?” he says, holding out his arm.

With a sharp smile, Suga hooks his hand around Daichi’s elbow. “Let’s,” he says, “go somewhere more private, darling.”
The Case of the Scarlet Speedster - Crimson1 - The Flash (TV 2014) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/?
Fandom: The Flash (TV 2014)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Barry Allen/Leonard Snart
Characters: Leonard Snart, Barry Allen, Sara Lance
Additional Tags: Film Noir, Alternate Universe, POV First Person, Earth-2, sort of, Alternate Universe - No Powers

Leonart Snart, Private Investigator, never expected a case to walk through his door quite like this one, complete with murder, a frame job, blackmail, and powerful players, especially coming from a kid with bright eyes behind his glasses, a crooked bowtie, and an impossible smile.

And without further delay…HAPPY BIRTHDAY, @wacheypena

You are the greatest. :-)

Nights at the Trader’s.1

Characters: Alec Hardy x Hannah Baxter ; Ellie Miller, Paul Coates, Ben, Bambi, Duncan. 

Genre: Film Noir AU; Broadchurch x Secret diary of a call girl xover

Rating: Adult

Summary: London, 1951. Hardy has recently moved to the city and is staying at The Trader’s Inn, a seedy hotel on the bad side of town. He’s a by-the-book cop and prides himself on being more upstanding than most of his colleagues. Until Duncan approaches him with an interesting offer: his mistress, Hannah, has gone missing, and he’s willing to pay the DI a lot of money in exchange for his collaboration and discretion. With the help of his resourceful secretary, Mrs. Miller, he will uncover truths that threaten his own secrets.

TW: lots of smoking and drinking (as per the genre)

A/N: Duncan was Hannah’s editor and boyfriend, he was played by James D’Arcy

Many thanks to the brilliant fadewithfury for the beta.

Catch up here or on or on  Ao3

June 1951

London. What a city for Detective Inspector Alec Hardy to waste away the rest of his days, solving petty crimes and drinking too much. He enjoyed its rudeness and its anonymity. He liked the way it had rebuilt itself after the war, a brand new London, but its scars still shone.

His eyes unfocused, and he caught his own reflection on the glass pane: unkempt hair, stubbly cheeks and sunken eyes. What a sight.

A sharp whistle caught his attention, and he looked down at a group of bobbies on the sidewalk. They were having a smoke and cat-calling women passing by. A strong blast of wind ruffled the ladies’ dresses, and they looked up as the sky resonated with ominous thunder. Pedestrians ran amok, seeking shelter before the storm broke. Lightening flashed, a brief warning before the rain.

In another office, someone had left the radio on. The staccato of fat drops against glass complimented the melody weaving its way through the empty second floor of the police station.

Hardy’s eyes darted to the drawer where he kept a flask of whisky— Glengoyne, from his hometown— but he decided against it.

Keep reading

scienceofficermarcus  asked:

//Film Noir AU. Detectives and mobsters and femme fatales, oh my!

Jim is not the detective. Spock is the detective. McCoy is the bad-tempered backdoor medic. Jim is the boy with the too-sweet smile that got mixed up in some heavy stuff when he was a teen who is now the detective’s shady connection in the underworld. Carol is the corrupt police commissionary’s doe-eyed daughter who was raised in New York by her mother but moved to Chicago when she was an adult, who seems sweet and naive and isn’t any of those things. Uhura is the detective’s long-legged employer, looking for her parents, who turns out to be far more interesting than he ever could’ve guessed. Sulu is a police sergeant, Chekov is a kid that wishes he was but instead barback’s where Kirk ‘bartends,’ the bar belongs to Scotty.
Can You See The Real Me? (1961 words) by jessicathebestica [AO3]

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Enjolras/Grantaire, Enjolras & Grantaire
Characters: Enjolras (Les Misérables), Grantaire (Les Misérables)
Additional Tags: Film Noir AU, Murder Mystery, crossdressing Enjolras, detective Grantaire, One Shot, I don’t know what possessed me to write this, the idea started small then grew, then I had to condense it into a one shot because I just don’t have the time for a full-on fic, oh and since it’s a film noir you can guess that it takes place in the 40s

Manhattan 1942: A string of gruesome murder swept the city like a hurricane. No one was safe. Detectives were on the case round the clock, but they weren’t getting anywhere nearer to finding out the identity or motive of this deranged serial killer. The only caveat they received in all this confusion was that Manhattan’s celebrity jazz singer, Betty Vale, was the killer’s intended target–all the victims wore blonde wigs that matched her signature tresses.

So, the question on everyone’s mind was ‘what did this psychopath want with Ms. Vale?’

An overworked detective by the name of Grantaire was the first to find out.


happy halloween: film noir au (thanks to @aceonthebass)

“The lights, the smoke, the grime… the city itself seemed alive that day. I’d just walked into Starr’s and ordered a ham on rye with swiss, when in walks McCartney—looking for me, as usual. This case was going to be a real doozy, I could tell.”


Couple of quick sketches for @artistefish’s fic ‘Miroku, Private Eye’ (I.e., my new obsession). The idea of a 30’s/film noir AU is possibly one of the best to come to the internet. Plus I can’t get enough of InuYasha calling Kagome “Kitten.” Hope you like these :’)