The Silly, the Speculative and the Scientifically Rigorous
A Post About Jurassic Park
There’s a lot of fuss about the scientific accuracy of the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. Those in favour of anatomically correct, feathereddinosaurs argue that the popular conception of dinosaurs depends heavily on their representation in the media - and since Jurassic Park is the multi-million dollar dinosaur franchise, it has a duty to educate the masses. Those in favour of scaly-skinned, perpetually-rampaging theropods argue that it’s just a movie. And so on and so on.
But the thing is, the original novel (1990) and film (1993) did attempt to be scientifically accurate. It had been argued at the time that Velociraptor mongoliensis and Deinonychus antirrhopus were the same species, and the Velociraptors were scaled up accordingly. (And then scaled up some more, because let’s face it, Deinonychus wasn’t that big either.) The dinosaurs in Jurassic Park are actually much more birdlike than any seen on film before - parallels are frequently drawn between birds and dinosaurs in the book and once or twice in the movie - and the animation is glorious. (It’s not so good in Jurassic Park 3 or in Jurassic World, I feel, because CGI is so ubiquitous nowadays and studios want their effects done fast and cheap.)
There’s a lot in Jurassic Park that has no basis in fossil evidence, and this tends to be what the critics focus on. The Tyrannosaurus’s visual acuity is based on movement. The Velociraptors are highly intelligent pack hunters. The Compsognathus (Procompsognathus in the novel, the film picked the cooler Jurassic one) are venomous miniaturized land piranhas. And the Dilophosaurus!!!
Everything is wrong with this picture.
Jurassic Park: The Game and Jurassic World attempted to explain these issues away by saying “genetics, though” - as if frog DNA was the Great Mutator.
Jurassic Park: The Game. I believe Jurassic World used several of its ideas. Unfortunately, it didn’t use its plot.
Both JP:TG and JW also pinned the blame on Henry Wu, who went from being an affable Velociraptor snack (in the 1990 novel) to Mad Scientist (in Jurassic World).
But I don’t think the Jurassic Park franchise needs to explain anything. All Yesterdays gave us speculative portraits of dinosaurs, and hey, “Hey, maybe it’s not right, but we don’t know it’s wrong.” Is a predator with vision based on movement the dumbest idea since Compsognathus was given flippers? Yes, but it was speculation.
Behold Compsognathus! Flippered denizen of the Jurassic!
Could dromaeosaurs have been pack hunters? Maybe, maybe not, it’s speculation. Could Velociraptor open doors? Not without pronating its wrists, it couldn’t. Was Procomsognathus venomous? Haven’t a clue. Doesn’t hurt to wonder, as long as you’re not publishing in a scientific journal or on reptileevolution.com.
Poor Velociraptor. This little f***er ain’t opening nuffink.
And then… Dilophosaurus. Poor Dilophosaurus, its a rather unpopular theropod, and Jurassic Park was its big break. And then it never got asked to appear in any of the sequels, just like the fat kid with the weird eyes* that Sam Neill bullied in the opening. Was JP’s Dilophosaurus undersized? Yep. Did Dilophosaurus have a fabulous,
Chlamydosaurus-like neck frill? Almost certainly not. Could it spit globs of blinding venom? We-ell…
Cobras spit venom. And cobras are reptiles. Dilophosaurus was a reptile.** I see what Michael Crichton was trying to do. JP isn’t about super-accurate dinosaurs or hideous genetic monstrosities, it’s about the unpredictability of nature. InGen clone Dilophosaurus and who’d have thought it? It spits venom. Much of the speculation in Jurassic Park serves the broader narrative purpose of underlining the main theme - you cannot ever know nature well enough to hope to control it. Jurassic Park is Frankenstein - with DINOSAURS.
Lost World did not have any of the speculation we saw in the first movie. The T. rex’s optic disability was never mentioned again. Lost World was, in my opinion, a two-hour long sermon about The Environment, with boring characters and a stupid, stupid finale. Jurassic Park 3 had even more boring characters, no proper ending, and nothing I cared about except its testosterone-fuelled, super-hungry Spinosaurus. And Jurassic World is a cold, cynical movie with ugly dinosaurs whose feet are too damn big. I’d prefer it if Jurassic Park movies kept making guesses about dinosaurs and their behaviour. Speculation is better than silliness, and then maybe the dinosaurs would behave like animals again (or movie animals, at least) rather than the fauna in Peter Jackson’s version of Skull Island.
You’re doing your dinosaurs wrong.
*IMDB says his name is Whit Hertford. We love you, Whit.
** Yeah, yeah, it was on its way to being a bird, but it was still a reptile. You can’t leave a taxonomic group, you know. Birds are reptiles. And you are a fucking fish. Get over it.
Celebrities / Leaders / Symbolism promoting the satanic NWO. In Superbowl Half-Time Performance, the VMAs, etc in 2015 all had ritualistic Illuminati symbolism. Yet, the masses watch it like its nothing at all. WAKE UP
Majority of celebs in Hollywood / Media stations are controlled and are members of the cult Illuminati. Disney films contain a ton of subliminal messages to brainwash our youth; Nickelodeon is part of it, as well as other cartoons. Movies / TV Shows today are psychologically programming the public to accept the coming One World Totalitarian Government. Storylines in Films today are parallel to the world events involving terrorism, assassinations, WW3, Police State, Anti-God, Pro homosexuality, pro Satanic, anti-Constitution, pro surveillance states. The illuminati are literally throwing there plans in the public’s face, but they are too brainwashed and distracted to even notice. SMH
The media is propaganda and disinformation, and fear-mongering. NEVER listen what CNN, ABC, FOX, NBC, etc say about world events or what to believe. All news is controlled by large corporations controlled by the Rothschilds, Bilderbergs….Illuminati.
The signs, warnings and events are right in our faces, yet the sheeple remain silent. Educate yourself and become aware and alert. We are living in dark times.
Thinking about how female werewolf movies tend to be coming of age film so, with a parallel usually being drawn between girls starting their periods and the monthly cycle of turning into a bloodthirsty monster (which I absolutely LOVE don’t get me wrong), but on the flip side:
Are there any middle aged werewolf movies? Like women going through menopause which parallels their aggression as creatures of the night. Can I get a movie about a mom turning into a werewolf please?
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