someone: haha why are you so obsessed with *insert show/book series/film/etc)
me, internally: because throwing myself into something allows me to briefly forget the constant depression misery and sadness i suffer through every day and when i marathon things my self hatred sometimes starts to disappear because i forget that i’m a real person who exists in the real world. my obsessions help me to cope when i feel like i’m about to explode or cry or scream or all of those at once and once i get into something i barely think of anything else for weeks which is a very unhealthy coping tactic but hey it helps so
My kid does 13K in damage to studio equip, we handle it like lunatics.
I’m an audio engineer and score arranger full time in my self-owned business. It’s how I provide for myself, my fiancée (also CF), and my mother. I record, mix, and master for bands, voice-overs for local commercials, and write music for people’s weddings, college films, indie games, etc.. It was my passion since I was a child and every day I ask myself why I get paid to do what I do.
You know, until today.
I had a woman schedule to come in because she wanted me to record her monologue for an acting class. I thought it was going to be easy enough. I set up a mic and a music stand in the sound booth and got my workstation prepped for tracking. She was supposed to show up at 3:30, so when 4:00 came around, I called her to ask her if she was still coming. It was my last contract for the day and I was wanting to get home to my fiancée, dogs, and dinner.
“Oh, sorry sweetie, I’m going to be there soon. I just had to get my son from ex-boyfriend.”
4:12, she showed up with her child.
To preface, I’ve never really wanted kids, and don’t really hate them either. But I’ve been childfree of mind for a decade now in league of several bad child experiences in public.
Anyway, I sat her down at the conference table and tried to talk to her about the contract and billing, etc., and just couldn’t because of the six-years-old pile of ovary droppings next to her.
“Mommy it’s cold in here.” “Mommy, I’m bored.” “Mommy, that guy has girl hair.” “Mommy, I want to play on the phone.”
The incessant whining went on for the entirety of the discussion. She did nothing about it. I had an ache in my stomach that this might be a rough session.
I was right.
I showed her to the sound booth, positioned the mic at face level, told her the basics of mic use, and then she floored me with a question.
“Can my son stay in there with you while I do this?” I insisted that he wait in the conference room (across the hall from the control room) because the control room wasn’t a very kid-friendly place considering the 120K of equipment at arms reach.
“But he’s a little angel.”
I shouldn’t have taken her word for it. I SHOULD NOT have taken her word for it. This kid was ANYTHING but. I let him in, told him to sit in one of the office chairs and don’t touch anything. Needless to say, he touched. I queued the recording arm and signaled her to start. She got three lines into her take before I hear a deafening screech and crash.
That little shit machine had just knocked over a $4,000 Korg into a rack with $9,500 of equipment. Completely shattered the touchscreen on the Korg, busted the dials off of half of the effects, and totaled my distressor that I use for almost all the vocals I track.
All of this, by the way, was the room’s length apart from where I told the crotch goblin to stay.
The kid, because of the loud noise, started full-lung screaming. Not crying. Not yelling. Screaming.
The mother, with no hesitation, ran over to the control room and DEMANDED to know what I did to her child. She cussed at me and accused me of hurting her little snot monster. Threatened to sue and even swung at me. When I told her that her precious angel had just racked up at least twelve grand of damages, she said “good”, spit on me, then stormed out, slamming every door on the way. So I pulled the security camera footage and had filed a police report. Grand total: $13,504.25. I also mailed her the bill for her session for good measure.
Of six years in the studio, this is my only truly terrible experience. Fuck mombies. Fuck having children. Thanks for making my vasectomy decision that much easier on me.
There’s a common pattern in many forms of black media where there are 2 black female characters who are friends or sisters, one being lighter in skintone, while the other is darker. Even though darkskin and lightskin women form friendships all the time, the way they’re commonly depicted in Black Media is what stands out and perpetuates certain stereotypes:
1. in the film/show/etc, the main character/focus of the 2 is typical the lighter skin woman
2. this makes the darker skin woman the “sidekick”
3. the lighter skin woman is portrayed as prettier, nicer, “classier”, more reserved, and/or overall more likeable and desirable
4. the darker skin woman is portrayed as shady, mean, loud, desperate, abrasive, aggressive, and/or overall less attractive (many would say “ghetto”)
These photos show just a few examples that came to mind…
Coming to America (1988) - The darker skin sister was more desperate for a man, chasing after Prince Akeem, Simi, and even her sister’s ex-fiancé. In the frame of society’s norms, this would be seen as “fast”, “tacky” or lacking in morals, which would therefore, make her less fitting to be a wife.
House Party (1990) - The darker skin friend (AJ Johnson) was the louder, more outgoing friend who was ready to date both Kid & Play, whereas Tisha Campbell’s character was more timid, and ended up being Kid’s “better suited” love interest.
Martin (1992-1997) - Once again, Tisha Campbell is playing the main female character, Gina Waters, and love interest to the main character, Martin Payne. While Gina is depicted as a kinder, classier, professional, “wifey” type, her best friend/assistant Pamela James, played by Tichina Arnold, is depicted as a loud, angry, man-less, berating black woman with “buckshots” and “beedeebees” in her “horse” hair, who was constantly butting heads with Martin.
Proud Family (2001-2005) - Penny, the lighter skin girl, was the main character with Dijonay, the darker skin girl, as the friend/sidekick. Dijonay had a less “traditional” name, as did her many siblings, was portrayed as louder, having more attitude, and was constantly chasing after Sticky, a boy who not only didn’t want her, but preferred the lighter skin friend, Penny.
Rick Ross’ Music Video for “Aston Martin Music” (2010) - In the early portion of the video, we see a young Ricky out on the block with other neighborhood kids, dreaming about owning a luxury car one day. Among the kids there’s 2 young girls, one darker skin and the other lighter skin. While the darker skin girl is quick to berate him and tear down his dreams of ever being that successful, raising her voice and waving her finger in his face, the lighter skin girl is quick to reassure him and support his dream. Once again, this display reaffirms the stereotype of darker skin women being mean, bitter, and angry, while lighter skin women are kinder, sweeter, and happier.
Where's the video of Roman, Logan, Dad and Anxiety for this week?
Because of how extensive those videos are (script-writing, gathering of any props, possible songs, filming, editing, etc.) we’re aiming to make and post those every two weeks. I figured it best to do that anyway so you all would be getting the best quality videos possible, seeing how right now, it’s just me and my friend, Joan, putting our heads together to make them. I’ll make an official announcement of that schedule, in a future youtube vid! Hope that’s understandable!
“We deserve it” rubs me the wrong way, sends chills up my spine, makes my skin crawl in the same way as chalk screeching on a chalkboard does.
As a consumer of art, television, literature, music, film, etc., enjoy it, love it, revel in it, relate to it, dislike it, critique it, but make no mistake, you do not deserve it. None of us do.
Artists, writers, musicians, filmmakers, producers, creators do NOT owe you a specific storyline, lyric, romantic pairing, or plot.
They’re creators. They create. They imagine worlds that we get to enjoy or dislike. Places we can escape to, have opinions about, but still DO NOT DESERVE.
How entitled and selfish is that? To think you’re deserving of a creator, fanfic writer, producer, or actor to cater to your desires and will.
Reality check… disagree with something, like it, dislike it all you want, consume as much of whatever form of media is your vice, but your specific wants and desires–even if more than one person shares your viewpoint–still doesn’t DESERVE to be catered to.
You’re a consumer. We are consumers. We consume.
Unless you’re paying for a commission or signing paychecks every month as a patron of the arts, you don’t get to dictate what someone else creates. And even then you’re still not deserving of it, you’re a patron.
- share your favorite childhood memory
- what are some of the things that remind you of me?
- share your cute crush stories maybe?
- describe your dream date!!
- how was your day?
- what are some of your “impossible” dreams?
- who is your favorite person? why?
- describe your dream significant other?
- what do you wanna be when you grow up?
- what’s your go-to happy place?
- share your favorite songs!!
- suggest some good books, films, anime, etc
- what makes your heart go 💖💘💓💟💕
- describe your pets!!!
- what’s something good that happened to you today?
why would you criticise films, books, music videos, etc. but not porn? how is that logically consistent? if “blurred lines” is rape culture & the simulated abuse of “50 shades” fetishises & glamorises rape, then why is porn above evaluation? the rule seems to be “consuming media that depicts rape & abuse as sexy, desirable, or romantic is HARMFUL… unless you also masturbate to it”. anyway, PSA for directors & writers: do you hate women but want to avoid being called out for it? tell everyone that the stuff you make is just masturbation material
So as you know, I had the pleasure of meeting with Anjali Bhimani (voice actress of Symmetra) who asked me to be part of her IAmFunSize series. As someone who is..basically the same height as her, I was obligated to of course.
Me being notoriously inarticulate, I’d like to expand on my points from my video since I’m better expressing myself in text rather than speech. So read more below if you want to hear my thoughts on creative-block and being an artist.