In all honesty, Nino should be used to this by now. It had been six years since he found out his
best friend was Chat Noir, five since he found out Marinette was Ladybug. Logically, he should be used to this.
But Nino didn’t think he’d ever be used to watching Adrien
get beat up by a half dozen criminals on television.
The feed was being broadcast live from a civilian who had
been watching, and the police hadn’t arrived on scene yet. So it was just Chat Noir, just Adrien,
against six criminals.
Nino felt his heart stop as one pulled out a gun, his
screams for Adrien to just turn around bouncing uselessly off the TV. The shot went off, and he stopped breathing,
unable to look away as it pierced his shoulder.
The yowl that Adrien let out was as close to that of his namesake as
Nino had ever heard, and his distraction was enough to get taken down by the
The police showed up a few moments later, taking down the
criminals as Adrien rose shakily to his feet.
That’s where the broadcast ended.
This was the worst part, if you asked Nino. Sure, watching him get beat up was pretty
bad, but it was the waiting that was the worst, not knowing if he was going to
make it back, or if his body was going to be found in an alley somewhere. If it had been Alya filming, she would have
ignored the police telling her to turn off her phone. She would have kept it going, let them know
he was okay.
But he didn’t know.
He couldn’t know, not yet.
So he busied himself, opening the balcony doors and lying
out a towel like he was an actual cat stuck out in a rainstorm rather than an
injured superhero. He filled a plate
with cheese because Plagg liked to complain and Nino didn’t feel like dealing
with that tonight. He gathered the first
aid supplies, grimacing at the long-engrained memory of Mari teaching all of
them on her own arm how to give stitches because the Cure didn’t always heal
everything, and he hoped he wouldn’t have to use that knowledge today. The vodka came, too, in case he did have to
use that knowledge, because Adrien preferred to be slightly drunk when he had
to be sewn up.
And then he waited.
It was a few minutes before his husband dragged himself over
the balcony railing, one hand clenching his shoulder tightly, and collapsed
onto the towel. His transformation was
released before Nino could reach him, and Plagg silently dove into the pile of
“You’re an idiot,” Nino said, hauling Adrien up to lean
against the wall.
The blond grimaced at the movement, then offered him a
pained smirk. “But I’m your idiot.”
“That doesn’t mean you can get yourself shot,” Nino
insisted, scanning his husband to assess the damage. His lip was split, one of his eyes was
swelling shut, and any exposed skin was covered in cuts and scratches. His previously white shirt was more red than
white, and the blood spread from his shoulder.
Nino grabbed a pair of scissors from the first aid kit, cutting it off.
“Jesus, Adrien,” he muttered, staring at his husband’s
chest. “Is there any part of you that
Adrien’s hand had come back up to grip his shoulder. “Wouldn’t you like to find out,” he muttered
weakly, and Nino rolled his eyes.
“I can’t believe you’re flirting right now,” he admonished,
digging through the kit. “You’re
bleeding out on our bedroom carpet, and you’re flirting with me.”
“It’s not that bad.
The bullet came out.” Right. Because they were in a place in their lives
where being shot and the bullet coming out constituted as “not that bad”.
Nino turned back, pulling Adrien’s hand away and grimacing. It may be “not that bad”, but it was still
definitely going to need some stitches.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?” Nino
asked. He asked because he always asked,
because he wasn’t a doctor and could make things worse, even if he’d ended up
with the best quality stitching of the group, because there was a chance the
answer would be different.
But Adrien shook his head, as he always did. “How would we explain a bullet wound?”
“You could tell everyone you’re Chat Noir,” Nino pointed
out, knowing it was futile and that his husband would never agree. He cleaned off the bullet wound and Adrien
let out a hiss. “Your dad’s been in jail
for years, and there hasn’t been any other supervillains.”
“Mari would kill me.”
That was the argument it always came down to. Marinette was still terrified of people finding
out she was Ladybug.
“She’s not even in the country right now. You could be hidden away before she even
Adrien barked out a laugh, which was cut short as his
husband accidentally pressed too hard. “Right,”
he agreed. “Because a honeymoon is going
to be enough to keep Alya from knowing Chat Noir’s every move.”
Nino laughed, handing over the bottle of vodka. “She’s probably going to get exclusives from
Ladybug every other day.” He shook his
head. “I honestly don’t know how they
haven’t blown it yet.”
“And yet they think we’re the ones who are going to get
discovered first.” Adrien scowled at his
shoulder before downing half the bottle in one go. He took a deep breath and turned away,
chugging the rest of the vodka. Nino was
still amazed at the super-drinking powers Adrien and Marinette had, though they
both tended to rack up quite the bill when they went out.
He held out a shirt to Adrien, and his husband stuffed it in
his mouth. “Ready?” Adrien blew his breath out through his nose
and closed his good eye before nodding.
It took a few minutes, and more than a few muffled screams
and curses, but eventually Adrien was sewn back together and they both
collapsed against the wall.
“There’s some more cuts that could probably use stitches,”
Nino pointed out. “Or we could wrap them
up and check on them later. What do you
Adrien spat out the shirt, head lolling towards his
husband. His good eye drooped—from exhaustion? Pain?
Vodka? Nino didn’t know—and he
offered a lopsided smile. “Mari will fix
it,” he said, his voice hoarse. “We can
“We can cuddle later,” Nino said. “I’ve at least got to bandage you. And Mari can’t fix you. She’s not here, remember?”
His husband shrugged his good shoulder. “She can fix me later.”
Nino rolled his eyes, wiping the blood off Adrien’s body and
replacing it with bandages. By the time
he finished, Adrien was all but asleep against the wall.
He prodded his good shoulder, and Adrien blinked up wearily
at him. “I’m gonna move you to bed,”
Nino told him. “You good to stand?”
Adrien nodded, and they slowly pulled him to his feet. He wobbled a bit before crashing into Nino’s
chest with a giggle. Nino always forgot
how pain lowered his husband’s alcohol tolerance, and that bottle of vodka had
definitely made him at least tipsy by now.
“I love you,” Adrien whispered, pressing sloppy kisses against
He smiled, pecking him on the lips and pulling him towards
the bed. “I love you, too.”
“No,” Adrien whined, drawing out the syllable. “You’re supposed to say ‘I know’, like Han
Nino helped lower him into bed, raising an eyebrow. “You want me to be Han Solo?”
Adrien nodded, not releasing Nino until he’d crawled into
bed beside him. “You’d be a hot Han
Solo,” he said. “Like, hotter than trees.”
“Yeah, like really hot trees.”
Nino laughed, pulling his husband close. Adrien curled into his chest. “Does that make you Princess Leia, then?”
“I could rock that bikini.”
Adrien drifted off not long after that, and Nino wasn’t far
from it when his phone rang, Marinette’s picture flashing across the screen. Adrien groaned and cuddled closer as his
“Someone submitted the
fight to the Ladyblog,” she said, no pleasantries necessary. “He’s
“Yeah, he’s fine.”
Adrien pulled himself up Nino’s body so their faces were
smashed together. “No, I’m not!” he
whined into the phone. “Come home and
fix me, Mari!”
“He’s fine.” Nino
rolled his eyes, switching ears with the phone so he could reassure Marinette
before she cut her honeymoon short to come fix her partner. “He’s just drunk.”
He could practically hear Marinette’s grimace through the
phone. “Ooo. Stitches?”
“Yeah, and they hurt.”
Adrien lifted off his husband enough so Nino could see his lip jutting
out. “Tell her I’m pouting, Nino. She’ll come fix me if I’m pouting.”
“Sorry, chaton. I’ve still got the rest of my honeymoon.”
Adrien collapsed back onto Nino, letting out a slight gasp
of pain at the sudden movement. “Tell
Mari to go away,” he muttered. “We’re
supposed to be cuddling.”
Nino eyed his husband, who was wrapped around him like a spider
monkey, and his own arm that was holding him back.
“We are cuddling,” he pointed out, and Marinette giggled from the other
end of the phone.
“Mari’s being mean, so she’s not allowed to cuddle,” Adrien
insisted, pulling the phone down to his level.
“Go cuddle with Alya, not us.”
Marinette laughed. “Gladly,” she said, and Adrien,
satisfied, released Nino’s arm. “We’ll talk later. Let me know if anything really bad happens. Night, Nino.
“Night, Mari. Tell
Alya I said hi.” Nino hung up, tossing
his phone back onto the unoccupied portion of the bed. He cuddled back down into Adrien, who had let
go enough to pout again.
“I didn’t get to say goodnight.”
“Maybe if you yell loud enough she’ll hear,” Nino suggested,
tugging the blankets back up to cover them.
Adrien seemed to contemplate it for a few moments before shaking his
“Maybe later,” he decided, pressing a sleepy kiss against
Nino’s lips. “I love you.”
Adrien curled back against him, and Nino wrapped his arms
around his husband. “I know.”
He felt Adrien grinning against his chest. “You should be Han Solo for Halloween.”
Nino laughed, running his fingers through Adrien’s
hair. “Only if you wear the bikini.”
It was quiet for a while and Nino thought Adrien had fallen
asleep. He was almost asleep himself
when his husband whispered his answer into the darkness.