I thought maybe these four walls would collapse in on me this summer
I can still see the blood smears on the floor and my cracked bones piled in the corner
I cant count how many times I have died in this room and woke the next morning with stained cheeks and swollen eyes
It’s a damn grave site in here, funny how I’m still breathing
but the rooms not as dark anymore
or maybe that's just my head
and the walls don't feel much like a jail cell after I painted over the claw marks and filled in all the holes
I might be polishing my own headstone but at least I’m above ground
I’m finally above ground
—  home for the summer m.n.v

anonymous asked:

Suck my dick till i fill your mouth with my hot sticky cum

Uhm I have a daddy so that position is filled, as well as all my holes wykked

i’m a second choice. i always have been. i’m the girl that guys go to for sex, nothing more because they have feelings for another, but she won’t fuck him, so he comes to me. and you know whats worse? i let it happen. I’ve turned into basically a slut just within the past year. i can admit it but i fucking hate myself for it. these boys always mean so much to me, but to them, i mean nothing. i’m a late night text asking “hey wanna come over?” and i do come over. but why? why do i allow myself to do this. why do i do this to myself. all it does is make me feel shittier about my decisions. but it’s something. I’m trying to fill this void in my soul. I’m trying to fill up the giant hole thats been in my chest but all this does is make the whole deeper and deeper until it’ll eventually consume me. these boys don’t like me. they like me from the waist down. but i like these boys.

Nothing Is Achieved Without Effort.

Too often I fall into a pit with sheer walls
With no ladder or elevator
For I which I can climb out
Unmotivated to do anything in life
I find a corner and make myself at home
I sit there losing my mind
Eventually banging my head
Against the pit wall I have created
My life is full of ups and downs
And I fail every time to understand
Nothing is achieved without hard work
I expect others to throw me a rope
Instead of building my own
I never want to take
The hard road traveled
But it is the only route that will lead me
To my greatest discovery
That I am not weak
I am worth something
And just because I fell
Doesn’t mean I’ll stay down
I’ll find my inner warrior
And fight to become
The person I can be
It’s the only way I’ll ever love myself
Enough to fill in all my holes

D'Anthony ©2015

my breath caught in my throat as i see what delicious pic Sir has sent me this morning. for me it was a hard night, my first likely sub drop, and so i sat alone and unable to be near my Sir bearing my lessons, we both fell asleep nervous that i might break. and so perhaps i did crack in ways, but in all the best ways. wide open for Sir. my insides spilling over. raw. vulnerable. desperate for Him. oozing wetness from all my holes, ripe for Him to fill me as He sees fit. i wake up feeling so hungry. empty and needy for my Sir…..and this cock. knowing i am His whore as i feel myself starting to worship Him, always craving…. thinking i am a very lucky slut!

anonymous asked:

What's the dirtiest thing you've ever said to someone? (Maybe things? Like top 3?)

Top 3 dirtiest things I’ve said to someone hah:

1. “fill me with all your cum! Pleasee Get me pregnant”
(that one was a first for me but interesting)
2. “please cum in all my holes - make me your dirty cum filled mess”
(my personal favorite)
3. “mm your pussy tastes so good for me today, I’m going to keep you cumming all night now”
(ah yes good times)

Yuh that’s it 😊 you guys have some good questions.

The difference I feel between when I take lexapro vs when I don’t is really astounding to me.

As if like, before, there was just a chunk of something missing. Like a hole. A hole just filled with anxiety and fatigue and dissatisfaction and like…I couldn’t do anything or motivate myself to do anything without significant effort.

And then lexapro, like- I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s not a miracle drug. It doesn’t solve all my problems. But it feels like it just fills that hole so I can at least DEAL with my problems.

Like, if I feel lazy, I’m still gonna be lazy. But I don’t feel bound to it anymore. Things are still going to worry me, but I’m not going to be sitting around feeling nervous for no reason anymore. I can make decisions more clearly without worrying if it’s just my fear holding me back. I can hang out with friends without secretly worrying if they’re gonna judge me if I’m not like. Perfectly entertaining or sociable. If I’m dissatisfied, I have enough energy to change that.

And I’m hoping things will just improve, you know? Like maybe I’ll finally be able to take a full course load at school. Maybe I could do both psychology and video production like I’ve always wanted?

I just feel really hopeful about this. Like. /Finally/. Maybe I can live the life I’ve always wanted to live, you know?

I need to care a lot less about fiction and do something else to make me happy for real instead of hiding away all my life.

I fill the holes in my life with characters and stories.

When you’re deeply troubled by the real world, you avoid it by obsessing about the trivial.

This is what all fans of things do to an extent.

I think its no coincidence that so many in fandoms have problems with anxiety and depression.

But I do see so many fans who still manage to have a life despite this.

So maybe it is just me that does it.

Trouble is I know this is what I should do but I won’t do it. I don’t know how to be a normal functional person. I know how to hide and avoid having to deal with people and their questions.

I just wanted to make new friends and have nice conversations not feel so attacked.

I wanted adventures.
I wanted to hear stories.
I wanted to see happy people.

All I wanted was to fill the hole in my tiny heart but seems like it’s just growing bigger the more I look out.