The difference I feel between when I take lexapro vs when I don’t is really astounding to me.
As if like, before, there was just a chunk of something missing. Like a hole. A hole just filled with anxiety and fatigue and dissatisfaction and like…I couldn’t do anything or motivate myself to do anything without significant effort.
And then lexapro, like- I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s not a miracle drug. It doesn’t solve all my problems. But it feels like it just fills that hole so I can at least DEAL with my problems.
Like, if I feel lazy, I’m still gonna be lazy. But I don’t feel bound to it anymore. Things are still going to worry me, but I’m not going to be sitting around feeling nervous for no reason anymore. I can make decisions more clearly without worrying if it’s just my fear holding me back. I can hang out with friends without secretly worrying if they’re gonna judge me if I’m not like. Perfectly entertaining or sociable. If I’m dissatisfied, I have enough energy to change that.
And I’m hoping things will just improve, you know? Like maybe I’ll finally be able to take a full course load at school. Maybe I could do both psychology and video production like I’ve always wanted?
I just feel really hopeful about this. Like. /Finally/. Maybe I can live the life I’ve always wanted to live, you know?