filed under things that will never happen

the signs as raylan givens quotes
  • Aries: You understand me? I'm gonna shoot your dick off.
  • Taurus: I'm just gonna file that under: "Who gives a shit?"
  • Gemini: Did you not wake up this morning thinking this was another opportunity to mess up some bad guy's day? I did.
  • Cancer: Honestly, I think I'd rather stick my dick in a blender.
  • Leo: I guess I never thought of myself as an angry man.
  • Virgo: So many things confuse me, Art.
  • Libra: Search your soul, numbnuts.
  • Scorpio: The answer is me and dead owls don't give a hoot.
  • Sagittarius: Son, are you real smart, or real stupid?
  • Capricorn: Wonderful things can happen when you sow seeds of distrust in a garden of assholes.
  • Aquarius: I got mad ninja skills, buddy.
  • Pisces: As much as I appreciate you putting lipstick on this particular platypus...

anonymous asked:

I two shy's away from deleting Facebook so creating Tumblr isn't going to happen at ALL. Lol! You are in a class all by yourself and I have read all your stories multiple times. You have such an amazing gift and when your email prompts come to my phone I stop what I'm doing and dive right in. I appreciate what you do and never stop because the more you continue one day you can be the very next author that comes out with her own number one seller.

This is so kind, thank you, boo! 🖤 I always say I’ll be here as long as y’all will have me, but I also want to say thank you for having me. I’m so appreciative of the way most of this fandom has embraced me; it’s been a true pleasure.

(Which is why you should totally join Tumblr. It’s usually awesome and nowhere near as terrible as Facebook. 😄)

File this under "things to look forward to laughing about"

My mom has been thinking about stopping coloring her hair and letting it go gray. To achieve this, she’s going to *eventually* get a very short, guaranteed adorable pixie hair cut. She wants to wait until she retires in a few years. I want this to happen now. This woman constantly talks about cutting her hair short, and never does. There’s always something holding her back, usually her own apprehension. So, to spur on the process, I *may have accidentally* made a deal that I will cut my hair short if she cuts hers this spring.

Long story short: I might be getting the queerest bi girl hair cut imaginable this spring, all thanks to my mother, her rapidly graying hair, and my own impatience at her willingness to take a hair risk.

5

Filed under “Things That Are Driving Me Nuts”:

  • What happened to Kaneki’s right eye between him and Hide in the sewer? It’s raw and bleeding after the eyepatch falls off, even though Arima never struck him there.

WHY!!

eight things that could have happened in oregon by stephen greenwood

Eight ways in which events in the Pilot could have differed.

She files a missing persons report. He’s never officially found but she thinks she sees him eight years later, although it’s from a distance and she shrugs it off. She thought she was long past glimpsing him on every street corner. She spends a couple of days convincing herself it wasn’t him because he looked exactly the same as he did when they first met, and that’s just impossible.