Turn That Frown Upside Down

Young Argus Filch was not a “smiler”

He didn’t smile for presents.

He didn’t smile for a night on the town.

He didn’t even smile for babies…

He almost smiled at funerals.

No, Young Argus Filch never smiled…

Until the day he met her…

That fateful day… Argus Filch finally found a reason to smile.

And he called that reason… Mrs. Norris. 

(( OOC: Credit to Ash for giving me the idea for this thread! XD @wallyscags-patronus

1023. Filch used to be a wizard, pure blood, but came into contact with a dark artifact that stole his magic. He was disowned by his family, and never found a way to get it back. He had no money, no knowledge to help get him by in the Muggle world, and no way to make a living in the magical one. Dumbledore heard about Filch's situation and offered him a job and a place to live at Hogwarts.

submitted by writerandstudent

6

Chamber of Secrets Deleted Scene

                                                             Kwikspell

                               A Correspondence Course in Beginners'Magic.

Intrigued, Harry flicked the envelope open and pulled out the sheaf of parchment inside. More curly silver writing on the front page said:

                          Feel out of step in the world of modern magic? 

                 Find yourself making excuses not to perform simple spells? 

                          Ever been taunted for your woeful wandwork?

                                                There is an answer!

Kwikspell is an all-new, fail-safe, quick-result, easy-learn course. Hundreds of witches and wizards have benefited from the Kwikspell method!

You know what we don’t talk about enough? 

Summer. Hogwarts.

Most of the teachers live there, so whilst some of them would be visiting family and friends or whatnot, a lot of them would just be partying it up at the ol’ HW for most of the summer -

  • The school grounds filled with all kinds of wildflowers, aside from Professor Sprouts overflowing yet well manicured garden that she always seems to be in (occasionally with help from Hagrid)
  • Hagrid playing fetch with the giant squid 
  • PROFESSOR. QUIDDITCH. (Madame Hooch sits on her broom, high above the arena, searching for the snitch, “Scared, McGonagall?” McGonagall narrows her eyes, “You wish.”)
  • Flitwick playing pranks on the other teachers but no one knows who’s doing them besides Dumbledore and he’s to amused to tell anyone
  • Professor Burbage finally finds out who charmed her teen vampire novels pink, and then proceeds to help Flitwick 
  • Snape wakes up to find the dungeon a nice, light shade of yellow. No one (save two) have any idea how to get it off because, Burbage says, “It seems to be a type of muggle paint. Speaking of which, Martha Stewart just released a rather fabulous line of summer colours, you know.” To which Dumbledore replies, “Ah, yes, that Sea Glass is simply divine.” And they walk off debating the merits of various paint colours while Snape is sat sputtering behind them
  • Filch going for joy-rides on the Hogwarts Express, and Mrs. Norris playing with the string that when pulled sounds the whistle
  • Hooch racing them on her broom
  • Great Hall sleepovers. Need I say more?
  • McGonagall and Dumbledore playing magical croquet on the front lawn in with bonnets and parasols 
  • Dumbledore deciding that he’s too tired to continue playing, so instead sits down and weaves the flowers through his beard
  • Snape being as sulky as he usually is, constantly frustrated by the others’ good moods and as such spends most of the time in the (still Light Daffodil yellow) dungeons, where people think he’s making lesson plans but he’s actually just mimicking his least favourite students in unnecessarily high and squeaky voices
  • Dumbledore putting a bonnet on Snape’s head when he passes him in the hall and telling him to “lighten” up
  • The pun earned him a fist bump from McGonagall
  • the students coming back in the fall, and having no idea (Dumbledore charmed the paint off the night before the first day of term)
825. After finding out from the Headmistress that James Sirius Potter would be attending Hogwarts, Filch quit. He said that any brat with the name "James Sirius Potter" would drive him insane. He found a home at Number 4, Privet Drive, and found a mutual love for cats and Kneazles with a woman, Arabella Figg. He hasn't gotten around to asking her on a date yet.

8. Ravenclaws deciding to learn morse code so they can communicate with their friends in lessons. It seemed like a good idea until it became apparent that repeatedly tapping your wand on your desk leads to an awful lot of green smoke and an hour polishing the trophies for filch