filamer

Tita (in the PI): How are you doing?
Me (FilAm, not fluent in Tagalog): Heto buhay pa. Trying to practice my Tagalog a little. Not so great with grammar yet d: Kumusta po kayo, Tita?
Tita: wow thats great! live and love your roots. okay naman po, hope to see you again.

“Live and love your roots”

I’m so used to being ostracized by other Filipinx folks for not knowing Tagalog or not being “Filipinx enough” because I was born in the states and here my Tita is, validating my “Filipinx-ness” making me feel loved and supported while she’s on the other side of the world, thousands of miles away ~

Mini Tagalog Lesson:

Heto buhay pa = Here, alive
Kumusta po kayo = How are you? (with po, signifies sense of respect)

GENŞLER SİZ İSTAGRAMA FİLAN FOTOĞRAF KOYARKEN ÇOK ÖZENİYONUZ DA MİLLET ONU TUVALETTEYKEN FİLAM LAYKLIYOR SONUÇTA:S GERENK YOK.
benim bi tane kankam vardı sürekli bana tumblrı övüyodu ama paralı filam diyodu bende bilmiyomuş gibi davranıp dinliyodum ama aslında 2 seneyi geçkindir bloğum vardı gerizekalı çakmasın diye hımmm urele ney? diye soruyodum löfgugısjoghkghkgjkgkfjjyfjkhgjkkgkhdgjtykgkgkfdtjtuyıekıuytj
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*DO NOT DELETE CAPTION*
“May We Raise Them”
By Raychelle Duazo

Something a lil different for PFAD.

The top photo is from the 60s, and it depicts my Ninang, Lola, and Mama. My Mama told me this was taken for her high school graduation. Her & her family are from Olongapo. So pretty, no? It’s easily one of my top 5 favorite photos ever.

There are plenty of things I will never understand as a Filipina growing up in America. My mother tells me stories still. And there are plenty of barriers between us – being queer, being weird in general, being so unconventional about everything – that act as a precursor to angst, microaggressions, and misunderstanding, but! But. Despite everything, I have so much love for these people, especially my Mama, for giving me something very great.

When she was younger, she wanted to be a doctor, but my Lola never took her seriously because they were poor. But growing up, my mother made absolutely sure that I knew I could be anything I wanted & that I could have everything I wanted. She reminded me all the time, and like most POC moms, signed me up for everything: art classes (thanks Ma), piano lessons, swimming lessons…she even sought out art contests for me to enter.

My mother told me I was “…a genius, sobrang matalino, at mahusay sa lahat. Sana pwede ka maging famous” and helped instill in me dreams & goals bigger than this entire universe. Can you believe that? As a girl, as someone’s daughter – that’s so fucking powerful. And I still hold onto that, every single day. I still want to be all of it. 

Love to my Mama, for pushing through life even though she didn’t get to fulfill some of her dreams; for making space, giving me ambitions (and a big ego tbh), and consistently telling me I can achieve mine. Such a real love.

Here’s to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.

My turntables & books came in today 👌 Books/ Little Brown Brother: How the United States Purchased and Pacified the Philippine Islands at the Century’s Turn, True Version of the Philippine Revolution, Pre-Spanish Philippines, Filipino Peasant Women: Exploitation and Resistance, Way of the Ancient Healer: Sacred Teachings from the Philippine Ancestral Traditions, and Babaylan: Filipinos and the Call of the Indigenous

Okulda kızlar sokak hayvanlarına yardım edebilmek için para topluyolar bi lira veriyosun kutunun içinden hediye paketi alıyosun filam bende verdim bi lira çıka çıka küpe çıktı ve benim kulağım delinik bile değil cry:(

burda salak salak post atarken az daha zehirlendip ölüyomuşum??? Zgahdhajshd ocak açık kalmış ocağı sildikten sonra tam kapatmamışım kardeşim eve bi geldi ablaaa?? diye korka korka seslendi filan ev komple gaz kokuyo nerdesin filam yaptıgshshd harika tam hayal ettiğim şekilde ölüyomuşum ya lan hahshdh bende diyorum bu baş ağrısı nerden geliyo hmmmfs bi de allaha şükür ölmemişsin git başka bi yerde öl lan benim başıma dert açma filan yapıyo ahkahshs allahtan sigara filan yakmadim hee neyse verilmiş sadakamız varmış ne diyim

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part 2 of my little reyna photoshoot! part 1 is here. (:

this photo project was inspired by the division i’ve always felt between being filipina and being born in the u.s. growing up, my main ties to my filipina identity were food and tagalog, but that was obviously never enough. it wasn’t until i actually went to pilipinas / the philippines that i felt myself becoming more whole. i remember the pi through the landscape and nature. i found a tree of vermillion hibiscus growing on the fence of a barangay, and now it always comes to mind. orchids, sampaguita, palm & banana leaves, and birds of paradise also leave me with a sense of nostalgia & longing. (plus, some shells around my neck that belonged to my sweet, sweet lola.) <333