fight-dog

ok you know that ‘make the princess laugh and you can have her hand in marriage’ thing?

imagine so many come in.

they try, so hard, to make her laugh.

she just sits there, morose, ignoring every man who tries to coax a smile.

one day she’s sitting on the balcony. she just looks so sad.

of course that little thief tries to make her smile.

a girl who goes through the (semi public) royal gardens every day to pick flowers, even though technically only the royal family is allowed to do that. 

she sees the princess while she’s picking them up to sell on the streets, and she’s just… so sad. this princess needs someone to cheer her up.

and she tries. she’ll do silly dances when she comes in, she’ll bring up frogs from ponds and act out comedies, she’ll make flower crowns and exaggerate just how hard it is.

the first few days, the princess doesn’t even look at her.

then she starts noticing. this girl, trying so hard to cheer her up. she probably hasn’t even heard of the hand in marriage thing, she doesn’t know she’s trying so hard for nothing.

but she does it anyway.

one day, the princess starts talking to her as she does these things. “You do know that it’s useless?”

“What?” the thief says. “No way! I’m going to get you to laugh!”

“The best jesters in the kingdom have tried, don’t bother,” the princess declared pessimistically, staring down at the girl.

Then the thief puffs out her chest, “Of course I am! I’ll find the best jokes, even better than the jesters have found! I’ll… fight a fire breathing dog for them!”

There’s no laugh, but the corner of the princess’s mouth twitches. it’s sad how she thinks she can make me laugh…

the girl keeps trying, for years, making more silly stories and trading flowers for jokes rather than food or money. the princess slowly realizes the girl is getting closer and closer, asking her for responses in knock knock jokes and encouraging her to speak when she wouldn’t respond immediately.

the princess eventually had the girl hanging from her balcony, holding on tight to the rail and feet wedged between the columns, grinning and telling yet another iteration of that already old chicken joke.

the princess has been smiling, slightly, but she mostly just looks unresponsive. the girl is happy, it’s better than looking so sad, like she had been years before.

the girl moves on to puns, pointing at the exotic lunch the princess was eating. “Why do the melons have to go to get married? They cantaloupe!”

“You only know that word because of me,” the princess snarks, but there’s a small smile there, a bit of happiness. This little flower girl, this thief has grown into an amazing friend, a wonderful person who genuinely just wants to help. she doesn’t know of the deal, only nobles and jesters could know, not the commonfolk.

“Well, it makes quite the pun,” the girl says, proud of her joke. a smile! what an accomplishment!

“Say…” she continued, “What would you call a princess who got swept up in conversation a thief?” she pulled a flower out of her pocket, waving it in front of the princess’s face. the princess’s eyes crossed to see the flower before they rolled at the obvious setup.

though, it was interesting that it obviously involved them.

“I don’t know,” she admitted, sighing in preparation for another horrible pun. “What?”

the girl grinned. “A pretty theft!” she exclaimed, ticking the flower against the princess’s nose.

the princess froze for a moment, stunned. she had been complimented a million times over, called graceful by etiquette instructors, been called beautiful by many a suitor, been called wonderful by her mother before… she stopped thinking about that. 

she had never been called pretty.

she burst into laughter at the commonplace compliment, as if she was some sort of milkmaid who had somehow grown up to be good looking! it was ridiculous, the notion, yet somehow it had her blushing all the same.

then she suddenly stopped, realizing what she’d done.

the flower thief was staring at her in amazement, a blush of her own speckling her cheeks. her flower tilted out from in front of the princess’s nose, as if it had it’s own amazement.

“Wow…” the girl breathed. she’d never heard something so beautiful in her life.

The princess was silent, knowing what she had just done. She had just laughed for the first time in years.

The girl may not have been aware of the arrangement, but she was quickly swept up in it. A maid had heard the laughter and burst in, to find the thief and the princess, caught up in each other’s eyes, reveling in what had just happened.

The wedding was beautiful, a flower filled affair, a wonderful nod to how it happened. The king was so happy to see his daughter with someone who made her smile for once, tearing up as they were wed.

The princess’s laugh was still incredibly rare. She still had a hard time smiling. But a well timed joke from the girl– no, her wife– and another flower that had a hidden meaning behind it, than maybe, maybe you would hear it.

After all, the princess had finally laughed with the one she loved.

who would win in a fight

courage the cowardly dog or scooby doo

circumstances: if courage loses muriel dies, if scooby loses then shaggy dies

discuss

Recently, my son said to me after seeing a ballet on television: ‘It’s beautiful, but I don’t like it.’ And I thought, Are many grown-ups capable of such a distinction? It’s beautiful, but I don’t like it. Usually, our grown-up thinking is more along the lines of: I don’t like it, so it’s not beautiful. What would it mean to separate those two impressions for art making and for art criticism?
—  “59. it’s beautiful, but I don’t like it” from 100 essays I don’t have time to write: on umbrellas and sword fights, parades and dogs, fire alarms, children, and theater, sarah ruhl 
BTS STANS IRL

Namjoon: Can be very protective over him; have good style/into fashion; make it v obvious they bias Nams; usually very focused ppl, know what they want; very fair/impartial; they look mature but are actually total nerds; give super confident vibes but can be insecure; clumsy and adorable

Seokjin: love food almost as much as they love Jin; also tend to be motherly; LOVE to see pictures/videos of him; actually very creative ppl; very kind but can be hella sassy when they want to be; very passionate about their love for Seokjin; would create a holiday in honor of sj if they could

Yoongi: loud online/quiet irl; love pastels; passionate for #saveyoongisscalp; they pay attention to small details; lowkey really nice; they like to stick together; sleepy/docile most of the time but will roast u hard if you give them a reason; talk big and will usually follow through

Hoseok: loud online/loud irl; very very nice people; love to smile and laugh; are ok with 2nd hand embarrassment; give really good advice; full of love and not afraid to fight you; very good at edits; like to live in the moment; Hoseok is their sunshine; hard for them to talk about their true feelings

Jimin: very passionate in general; love cute things; emotional/will cry over Jimin; very accepting of others; sharing is caring; talk big but usually harmless; dedicated/loyal friends; love everything about Jimin; can sometimes take things too far; supportive to a fault

Taehyung: have all accepted their fate; they love so much it hurts; very nice; usually love/own some animals; very excitable; lowkey sad all the time bc taehyung; will tease you; family-oriented; usually love fashion too; will always stand by your side/won’t let you do stupid things alone

Jungkook: love/hate relationship w/ jk; try to be lowkey but always end up highkey; will fight u, their mom, dog, uncle, etc.; super creative; will ALWAYS protect the ppl they love; easily embarrassed; usually very cute ppl; love memes

I’m ready for the inevitable Lifetime movie called Fyre Island where rich white kids do talking head interviews and they have Instagram models giving their testimony too but they do the voice changer and put them in a shadow and theres the dramatic reenactment following a guy named Chad fighting dogs and stuff and the token “I sold my kidney to come here and went bankrupt” character to solicit empathy for everyone

  • Betty: Get up and hit me, you fucking pussy!
  • Reggie: I'm not gonna fight a girl, so just stop!
  • Betty: Doesn't matter. If you thought of me as a person and not a woman, you'd hit me and not feel bad about it! *punches Reggie* Bring it! Oh, I'm ready...
  • Reggie: It's on now dog...Girl fight. *punches Betty*
  • Betty: Ah! Ow! Is there blood in my eye? I think there's blood in my eye!
  • Reggie: Oh my god. *tries to console her, she punches him*
  • Betty: Fucking learn how to hit you little bitch!
3

More doggo Fakemon! This originally started as a joke with a ghost dog Pokemon just named Boof but then my friend said it would be a pomeranian and it’s evo would be a bear dog and I was like hell yeah I need to make this.

I MIGHT also make a second line that also evolves into Boofear, two more dogs that are both ghost/fighting, but that mostly depends on how lazy busy I am.

I like them enough to make them into OCs so I will do that too. :0

Stats below the cut.

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tacticalgrandma  asked:

non-chudley ask which location would you choose to fight each of the hamilton characters?

i’ve been preparing for this question my entire life. thank u. here are my thoughts

Alexander: i would fight alexander hamilton in his own office. i know it seems counterintuitive but i feel like i could distract him by destroying a bunch of his shit. our respective scrappiness would ensure a close match, there would probably be biting involved and it would culminate in me stabbing him in the chest with a letter opener

Burr: I don’t want to fight burr. i think it’d be really depressing, like beating up an old man. i’ll pass on this one

Eliza: eliza and i would fight in a sunlit baroque dining room at precisely 10:00am and it would be preceded by 15 minutes of drinking tea and having a very calm yet ominous and metaphor-laden conversation from opposite sides of the dining table. the fight would end in a tie where we both decide to spare each others lives and part ways with a newfound sense of mutual respect

Washington: i would literally fight this man anywhere. any time, any place, i will fight george washington, and lose magnificently

Angelica: angelica and i would recreate the blacksmith scene from Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Peggy: i would fight peggy in a grassy field dotted with wildflowers in the early autumn sunlight and it wouldnt be a real fight it’d be a pretend fight with our dog and then we’d kiss

Lafayette: i’d fight laf in the park next to my parents’ house because its where he got supremely fucked up one time in a humiliating defeat and his bad memories may give me the upper hand. JUST KIDDING not only would he kick my ass extremely easily he’d probably be charming and kind to me the entire time, and then i would feel bad

Laurens: i would fight laurens in bed. not in a sexy way, just because i feel like the only way i would stand a chance is by ambushing him in his sleep and smothering him

Mulligan: why would i bother honestly. i’d fight herc in a cemetery next to a freshly dug grave so he could just dunk me right in. i trust him to give me a proper burial and come back every once in a while to leave flowers

Maria: i wouldn’t fight maria what the fuck

Jefferson: here it is: i would fight jefferson in the parking lot behind a denny’s at 3 in the morning

Madison: i kind of just assumed madison and jefferson would attempt to tag-team me, therefore i would also fight madison in the denny’s parking lot. i use the word “fight” very loosely here since i feel like i would just have to yell at him or like gently tip him over or something

Philip: philip is a child but i would still fight him. maybe just a little though. maybe just a heated debate

KGIII: i would slap-fight king george in ye olde royal boxing ring surrounded by royal subjects and press photographers. he’d go down pretty quickly and hopefully i’d get to wear the cape

Butterfly Caravan

Sorry for the long post. There we quite a few things said in one session of combat that lasted a few hours.

Some context - Our party has had a long running game, after many deaths our party currently consists of Ederborn (Wood Elf Ranger), Sulenna (Human Wizard - Prone to being downed a lot), Myllandra (Holy Blooded Cleric), Reinhardt (Human Warlock) and The Boson (Rock Gnome Mystic who changes his name on a daily basis and refuses to answer to anything but his name).

Our party has just been hired by a magical being disguised as a fox to investigate a sealed tomb with promise to ‘great reward’ for our services.

We approach the tomb and discover it to be covered in giant butterflies on the outside with a few mechanical guards stationed by the front door. On approach, we discover the butterflies to be moonlight butterflies (think Dark Souls. The exact same thing, but statted for D&D)

We awaken the mechanical golems and very quickly during the fight realise that we are heavily outmatched. Sulenna has already been downed and then revived by the cleric. Ederborn left part way through the combat so in game his character hid amongst the rocks.

Myllandra - OOC - “I’m gonna cast Polymorph on myself and become a young black dragon, fly 30 ft in the air and use my breath attack”

DM - “Erm, okay, let me just roll initiative… the butterflies are attracted to magic.”

Reinhardt - “Well, we’re dead.”

Sulenna - OOC - “I’m gonna cast fireball on the furthest butterfly to hit them both and hit them for 25 fire damage”

DM - “Okay, it’s now the butterflies turn, one attacks you Myllandra and the other attacks you Sulenna as you both used powerful magic”

Sulenna goes down for the 2nd time this combat and at this point Myllandra comes out of polymorph to heal Sulenna again. 

Reinhardt - OOC “Okay, I’ll take 100 for ‘things I never thought I’d say in D&D’ just take care of the butterflies.

Meanwhile the Boson has been shooting shot after shot at the butterflies hoping to kill one. One eventually dies and the other flies behind a 60ft wall surrounding the tomb.

Boson - “Okay guys, I have an idea…”

Reinhardt - “Don’t do it!”

Boson - “You don’t even know what my idea is yet”

Sulenna readies a magic missile - OOC “I know what he’s planning, let’s do this!”

Boson - OOC “I cast phantom caravan and teleport myself and Sulenna 120 ft above the butterfly”

Cue laughter from everyone but Reinhardt.

Reinhardt - OOC “After this Reinhardt is out, you’re all too crazy!”

DM - “Okay you’re now both 170 ft in the air and begin falling 30ft per round.”

Sulenna shoots her bolt and The Boson takes another shot at the butterfly.

Reinhardt - OOC “Falling through the air… Takes shot. who are you F'ing Widow?!?”

Boson - OOC “No, deadshot”

DM - You notice below you as you start to fall, another butterfly is resting on the outside of the wall. It takes a shot at Sulenna. (Sulenna goes back down)

Reinhardt - “Poor Myllandra, he’s been playing hot potato with heals, there’s gonna be an unofficial love story between the two by the end of it.” - OOC “I cast polymorph on myself and turn in to a young bronze dragon, then fly 80 feet in the air”

DM - “What is it with you all and dragons? A butterfly attacks you after the surge of powerful magic” He then fails the constitution saving throw and turns back to human. “You are now falling as well." 

Reinhardt - OOC "It’s okay, when I have to make a death saving throw I automatically resurrect and don’t have to make the throw. So I land in the superhero pose.”

GM - You don’t make the save until your next turn

Sulenna - OOC “So you land like this!" 

External image

Cue more laughter from everyone but Reinhardt.

DM - "So Sulenna has been up and down like a yoyo, Reinhardt is gonna make a nice pancake, Ederborn is hiding in the rocks, Myllandra is running back and forth going mad trying to prevent anyone from dying and the Boson is a human projectile falling rapidly towards a butterfly. Anything else I should add to that list?”

Boson - OOC “I spend 5 Psi points and sprout wings”

Dm - “I’m done! This is some proper dog fighting going on here, this is why DMs don’t use flying!”

Why hating on MMA is bullshit.

A hobby of mine is to go onto sports pages of national significance and searching out MMA inspired posts to point out ignorance of MMA haters. I love doing it because they’re so ignorant to the rules and regulations. Here’s a few of my favorite things to say:  

“They get concussed all the time! Way too risky!”

 Boxers and rugby players have a higher rate of concussions, plus they play on. If a fighter is concussed the fights stopped. Perfect example below. Gus protecting himself, just not fighting back. Fight stopped.

Originally posted by nojillnolife

 

“All it is human dog fighting!”

 Actually no, its a mix of many disciplines that are all Olympic grade sports minus Jiu Jitsu. Their are many ringside doctors, cutmen, a referee that stops a bout when a fighter is not fighting back and strict state commissions that regulate the bouts. 

Originally posted by plumkat

 “UFC is not a sport." 

Well you’re not wrong, its an organisation. The sport is MMA. Like calling football Fifa. 

Originally posted by fightingca

 "Boxing has far more rules and regulations.”

 HAHAHAHAHA. 

Originally posted by forfightersnotlovers

 “Its pretty much a bare knuckle fight." 

 The gloves are the furthest thing from bare knuckled. 4 ounce gloves plus a hand wrap. They have to be that small for grappling. Boxing gloves are 20 ounces. Which sounds and according to ‘Fight Science’ is more painful to be hit with. Kicking is also used in MMA by most fighters. 

Originally posted by mma-gifs

 "Its a miracle only one person has been killed!" 

Well, more than one has. Sheer fluke accidents happen in every sport, and MMA is actually one of the safest in regards of injury and death. You can get back up in boxing and can recover from being rocked. In MMA if you’re rocked you can get taken down and submitted or the referee will step in way earlier than a boxing referee would. 

Originally posted by fightsgifs

 "The head is targeted all the time!" 

 Body shots, leg kicks, submissions. Your head is less at risk in MMA than in any other  large contact sport. Plus, similar to boxing, its all about someone finding your chin. Not your temple etc. less likely to be concussed in MMA than in  boxing. 

Originally posted by mma-gifs

"Glorified barbarism for simpletons." 

MMA fighters are quite intelligent actually. Dominick Cruz has an IQ higher than most and is a very good analyst in all sports. The fighters have to train and remember how to execute a lot of holds and have to have the discipline to make weight. Simpletons isn’t even close.

Originally posted by forfightersnotlovers

And finally… “The fighters are bad role models.”

This one just makes me sick that anyone could think it tbh. Many fighters are great to their fans and a vast majority are fantastic people. Ronda Rousey changed the face of womens sports in general, let alone combat sports.

Originally posted by racheldiaries

anonymous asked:

I work in a hotel for pets where I see all the usual breeds come in. While I have my favorite of what I would call 'common breeds', we have a regular who is an Argentine Mastiff, and I had never heard the breed before meeting her, but I think I'm in love! Just wondering if I lived under a rock, or if this is an uncommon breed (at least in the u.s)

Oh yeah, a Dogo Argentino! I would say they are uncommon. I certainly have never seen one in person, and I imagine if I weren’t so involved with knowing all things dog, I wouldn’t hear about them either. They are actually banned in certain countries like Ukraine, Iceland, Australia, Singapore & the United Kingdom for being ~dangerous~, but they are good dogs™

The Dogo Argentino was created in the 1920s by crossing a whole heck of a lot of breeds. A now extinct breed called the Cordoba Fighting Dog (which was a Mastiff, Bull Terrier, English Bulldog, and Boxer mix) was mixed with Great Dane, Boxer, Spanish Mastiff, Old English Bulldog, Bull Terrier, Great Pyrenees, Pointer, Irish Wolfhound and Dogue de Bordeaux! 

A border story from Nogales, Arizona: I spotted 12-year-old Alexander Figueroa bringing his pug, Michelle, back home across the border from Nogales, Mexico. The dog’s lip had been torn in a fight with a bigger dog. The vet in Tucson quoted them $675 to stitch Michelle up. So instead, Alexander and his mom, Liliana, drove south. Total cost in Mexico: 600 pesos, or about $30. “And they gave her a free shower!” Alexander told me, happily.

–Melissa
Photo: Melissa Block/NPR