fight child abuse

Responses to childhood trauma.

Our therapist mentioned a while back that there are common responses to childhood trauma.  The obvious ones being fight or flight. But she said three others were freeze, submit and attach.

I don’t think I understood at the time but looking at my system now I can see examples of all of these responses in system members.

They’re pretty self explanatory I guess but I just wanted to share this for reference if anyone finds it helpful, like I have.  I think these are even more relevant in dissociative disorders such as DID because there are often conflicting feelings towards abusers - we are often attached to them despite their abuse.  For us that has been one of the most grueling things to admit.

I know freeze is very common, in later trauma/abuse as well as child abuse. It often happens when fight/flight can’t happen and is when a child will become silent and still, anything to avoid drawing the attention of their abuser. It comes with a sense of powerlessness.

If the freeze response doesn’t work, the child can “submit” by going along with whatever the abuser is doing, in the hope that if they comply it will be over quicker/they won’t be punished. This can be seen in animals - they “play dead” and hope for the attacker to leave them. Submit parts often feel a great deal of shame and take on the blame/responsibility for what has happened.

It is apparently common to have alters who represent these trauma responses within the same system. I can now see all of the responses in our system, for example, fight presents in hypervigilant alters such as protectors, flight can be seen in those alters who distance themselves from external people to avoid being hurt, freeze is obvious in very scared/traumatised/often younger alters who can be stuck in the trauma, submit parts can feel shame or appear needy, whereas attached parts have a fear of being abandoned/always try to be better.

I’m not sure if this will help anyone but it helped us to figure out why certain alters act in a particular way/believe particular things.

tw: child sexual abuse, rape, emotional abuse, suicide-baiting, transmisogyny 

I never do call-outs ‘cause they take forever, but this has to stop. 

@sleepdontvisit claims they’re on a campaign to root out “inclusionist pedophiles and pedophile apologists.” 

Instead, they almost exclusively target bi trans sexual abuse survivors, frequently flat-out lying about what those survivors have said. 

(In their whole call-out list, there’s only two people who aren’t trans. And the cis people only get called out for supporting “pedophile apologists,” they aren’t calling the cis people pedophiles.)

They consistently link to receipts that don’t support their statements, knowing that people won’t click through and read all that. 

Many of their call-outs have hundreds of notes, and have goaded exclusionists and even some inclusionists into sending anon hate, suicide-baiting, and death threats to inclusionists who are bi trans sexual abuse survivors

It’s not a coincidence that bi and trans people (especially trans women) are the ones that are most frequently stereotyped as sexual predators, in both the gay and straight communities. 

(DID U KNOW: Part of the reason that the acronym wasn’t “LGB” till the early 90s was that radical lesbians said bi men shouldn’t be allowed at Pride because they were rapists.) 

It might be relevant that sleepdontvisit seems to be very biphobic, saying things like, “Why are literally all of the big bisexual bloggers literally the most cringeworthy people I have ever encountered?”

there are two lesbians on their list, out of all the bi people. 

they’re both trans women. 

And now they’ve begun going around harassing trans inclusionist survivors who haven’t heard of their campaign, by implying that they’re “pedophile apologists” too if they haven’t called out these people yet. Or if they say that it’s not okay to call CSA survivors “pedophile apologists.” 

They guilt-trip and threaten anyone who won’t help them in their smear campaign, even discoursers who are calling out individual people already. They are goading exclusionists to harass these people. One of their victims has already deleted, that I know of. 

When one survivor called them out for things like posting content about pedophilia in the ace positivity tag, their response was to go through that person’s blog and list everyone they’d reblogged from who themselves had ever reblogged from one of the people on the list. Which may have been well-intended but comes off as intensely harassing. 

And then they falsely claimed that "ace/aro minors… are being told by adults that it’s ‘normal’ for children to be sexual, so it’s important for them to identify as asexual.”

(That person even said “If you’d like, I can give you a list of exclusionists that none of you are no-platforming (and one of which went hand-in-hand with discourseprincesa and doing just as much harm but is still being defended)” and instead of taking the information, they ignored it, and instead tagged another post to boast that inclusionists ignore callouts but exclusionists call out all their TERFs. I know for sure that one isn’t true, @allosexisterfs​ is mine and it contains a list of about 250 exclusionist TERFs, that sleepdontvisit hasn’t said a word about that I know of. BUT ANYWAY) 

If you care about survivors, please spread the word to no-platform sleepdontvisit, and to stop spreading their lies. 

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Am I the only one that thinks this is kind of fucked up?

The only reason your kids are vegan now is because you scared them into it! Forcing a vegan diet onto your kids by showing them horrible pictures of mistreated animals is cruel.

But no, instead of talking to your children about why you are vegan and that there are kinder methods of raising livestock for meat, eggs, and etc. that they can support, giving them another option and more agency over their own lifestyle choices, you shoved your vegan propaganda down your children’s throats to make them feel terrible about doing something THAT COMES NATURALLY TO THE HUMAN RACE.

You’re literally bragging about making your children cry because you, as an adult, can shut down their arguments because you hold power over them. You forced your kids into a diet that doesn’t align with human biology by using scare tactics and you had over 200 people commending you for it.

Fuck you, Sarah. Fuck vegans.

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It's Always Darkest During the Dawn - Chapter 1 - tofurkinator - Homestuck [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

haha hi guys who wants to read a self indulgent fanfiction i wrote where fro gets Fukt Up by cps n dave gets to go live with Mom and Rose

In defence of SonTails

I was going to try to post some other stuff on my new blog before I got into this, but recent asshattery towards SonTails shippers - people actively posting their hate to the tag and including SonTails artists/writers in their mentions, verbally attacking them and accusing them of being paedophiles - prompted me to make this post now.

So, here we go.

First up, it is absolutely not cool to accuse people of being paedophiles (and trying to get them reported/run them off Tumblr) simply because you don’t like a fictional pairing that they like. It’s a bottom-of-the-barrel low move, and it belittles the awfulness of actual child sex abuse. Go make an actual difference in the world instead of creating strawmen on Tumblr to stroke your morality boner.

With that out of the way, and even though no one should have to justify their love of a fictional/game character pairing to strangers who are seeking THEM out to harass them, I’m going to put forward some points about the characters in question and my stance on why there is nothing ‘morally’ wrong with shipping Sonic and Tails together.

- SEGA doesn’t consider Tails too young/immature to have romantic interests. In fact, he might even be the ‘main character’ with the most canonical romantic interests throughout the entire franchise. Without looking anything up, here are just a few characters that Tails has either crushed on or shown to have a potential love interest with: Fiona bot/Fiona Fox (Archie), Mina Mongoose (Archie), Cosmo the Seedrian (Sonic X), Zooey (Sonic Boom). In almost every spin-off canon, he’s depicted as being old enough/mature enough to have romantic interests. In most of those canons, none of his friends seem weird about it or give him shit about it, either.

- Tails is not literally an analogue for an equivalent 8-year-old human child. For fuck’s sake. Have you met an actual 8-year-old? No one bats an eyelid about him flying a plane, building complex/dangerous technology, messing with Chaos energy, living by himself in his own house, or risking his life on a daily basis. But depict him holding hands/kissing someone and everyone loses their fucking minds. HAVING SAID THAT, it’s obviously not okay to keep him at 8 years old in a physical relationship, which is why pretty much all (certainly every one I’ve known) SonTails shippers choose to age him up. Nothing much changes with his personality in doing that, because he was never anything like an 8-year-old anyway, but the idea that people like this ship because they see him as a literal 8-year-old and want him to be like a child is such a strawman.

- Speaking of which, aging up in order to pair characters off romantically has happened in at least one canon! In Mobius: 25 Years Later, Tails had married Mina and had two kids, implying they must have… gasp… had sex. But the Archie writers are totally paedos for imagining that someone who was once a kid might one day have a romantic partner… right??

- The outrage is so disproportional to the content on the tags. Most SonTails fanworks are just pure fluff. Honestly, a lot of the stuff tagged as SonTails is literally stuff that happens in the games/shows/comics anyway. Hand-holding, hugs, watching the sunset together, smiling at each other, head fur ruffles, sleeping side-by-side… all of those things have happened in one official canon or another. If you’re offended by pictures/stories where Sonic and Tails are being ridiculous and fluffy with each other, then you probably should avoid all media with them in, too. Fluff stuff gets as much hate as hardcore stuff just because of the implication of it being romantic, which is really sad. Shippers and non-shippers alike should be able to enjoy pictures of Sonic and Tails being cute together, but instead it divides them, and that’s too bad.

- The idea of two people who are such close friends and eventually fall in love is really sweet and relatable. It’s not creepy, and it can be really comforting. I have always been a sucker for best-friends-become-lovers romantic arcs. That is what drew me to the ship. And in most Sonic canons, Sonic and Tails are undeniably the best of friends. They are extremely close. Does that mean they have to be a romantic item? Of course not. No one is forcing anyone to take it to that end. It’s not canon. But for young people still figuring themselves out, it’s just such a warm fuzzy fluffy ship to identify with. Having someone like that in your life - a best friend, someone you feel safe with, who you can tease and rile up but also trust with your life, who knows you better than anyone else, and you just have so much fun hanging out with them - relationship GOALS, man.

- Nonsensical/unrealistic canon ages aside, age gaps really aren’t a big deal as you get older. Seriously. 7 years between two people is not a generational chasm, especially once you’re an adult. (Worth also noting that Tails has been 11, 12 and even 40-something, canonically! I’m sure that people who see it as a paedophilic ship would still see it that way, even with Tails the same canon age as Amy - which is interesting). The younger person in a couple doesn’t remain a perpetual child just because they are younger. That’s some patronizing shit right there.

- Finally, and most importantly, shipping Sonic and Tails together doesn’t hurt anyone. No one has to justify loving two characters and thinking that they work well together romantically and have the potential to fall in love as they grow older. If your mind goes to paedophilia when you see SonTails fanworks, even when the artist/writer has made it clear that there are no minors involved, that’s all you, friend. You’re the one thinking of it that way, not the artist/writer.

Btw, you are not hurting paedophiles when you attack artists/writers. I hate to pull out this card, but two can play the victimized game… You’re hurting young LGBT people who relate to/with the characters, depressed/anxious people who draw comfort from the thought of a best friends ship, people struggling to make a living on their art, and just Sonic fans in general - we are a divided enough community already without this hateful slanderous behaviour.

If you’re thinking of potentially trying to ruin someone’s life by labelling them a paedophile for liking SonTails, you need to take a good long look at your life choices. Think about what’s actually important in the fight against child abuse/exploitation. Volunteer at a crisis helpline, donate to a shelter, demand laws that prevent child trafficking and abusive ‘troubled teen’ therapies. Your energies are far more productive elsewhere.

And to everyone posting awesome SonTails art, fic and headcanons/rambles… please don’t stop. The SonTails tag needs more love. I love it all so much, and I’ve got your back :) Sorry for TL;DRing in this tag.

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The Front (Left) and Back (Right) of a an odd Anti-Violence/Anti-Child Abuse campaign card that I Own. I’m assuming SEGA wanted to prevent child abuse by also trying to prevent violent fights between playground kids. At least the front of the card has a nice chrome texture to it 

When Raven Kaliana was just 4 years old, her parents took her to a professional studio and left her with a child pornographer who raped her in front of a camera. This continued throughout her childhood until she reached college, when she escaped her parents’ control, changed her name and began fighting child abuse. She now uses a puppet play and short film to raise awareness about child sexual abuse and encourage frank talk about the problem.

Read Nicholas Kristof’s latest article about Raven and help spread the word.

ok so i kinda headcannon that the fake AH crew is later turn into almost vigilantes? like they take out all there compitition, basicly HORRIBLY punnishing anyone who does anything ultra imoral, like dog fights and child abusers. they raid currupt banks and weed out the bad cops from the station, putting in there good guys. they pick up stay animals and homeless kids, and adults, putting them in homes where they’re cared for. the public admire them, and the government cant stop them, cause the government aint shit. and whever the cops “catch them” they get a lil slap on the wrist and a telling off, they avoid killing civilians and anyone who does get hurt they pay for the hospital bills. idk man i feel like the crew will become the good crims in the future.