And now, a scene from the upcoming film adaptation of 50 Shades of Gray

Christian Gray: Someone’s been a naughty girl. I’m afraid you’ll have to be punished.

Anastasia Steele: Oh, yes master. I’ve been waiting so long…

Christian Gray: ANA THIS IS FOR REAL!

Anastasia Steele: What?

Christian Gray: LET’S DO THIS!

Anastasia Steele: I don’t understand–

Christian Gray: ELBOW ROCKET!

So I found this book in Asda today

Have some extracts:

She stood before me, trembling and naked in my shed. “I’m yours for the night,” she gasped, “You can do whatever you want with me.” So I took her to Nando’s.

We tried various positions – round the back, on the side, up against a wall… but in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the only place for a good shed.

“I’m a very naughty girl,” she said, biting her lip. ‘I need to be punished.’ So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.

“Are you sure you can take the pain?” she demanded, brandishing stilettos. “I think so,” I gulped. “Here we go, then,” she said, and showed me the receipt.

“Hurt me!” she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench. “Very well,” I replied. “You’ve got fat ankles and no dress sense.”

“Punish me!” she cried. “Make me suffer like only a real man can!” “Very well,” I replied, leaving the toilet seat up.

My body writhed and quivered from the pain. I had learned my next lesson. Never again would I leave an upturned plug on the shed floor.

“I’ve never wanted more, until I met you.”

- E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey -

Otras frases interesantes:

Te conocí por casualidad en un día muy especial viaje kilómetros por reencontrarnos y todo el esfuerzo que hice por vos destruyó mi corazón.

Para ser felices se necesita lo siguiente: cubrir las necesidades básicas divertirte sanamente y más que nada tener verdaderos amigos.

La alegría es un disfraz para los malos tiempos.

No Te Comparo Con Las Estrellas Con La Luna Ni Con La Más Bella Flor Tu No Mereces Eso… Pues Lo Que Eres Tú Para Mi No Tiene Comparación.

Su presencia en mi vida es como la música de fondo no te das cuenta de que está ahí hasta que deja de sonar.

No amar por temor al rechazo es como suicidarse por temor a morir.

Ser más que hermanos ser más que amantes… ser almas gemelas es ser amigos.

Los animales son la más bella de las especies creadas lo dan todo sin pedir nada a cambio…

Un amigo no vale nada pero si valiese algo no valdría nada sin ser lo que es.

Si mi puño fuera tinta y mi corazon tintero con la sangre de mis venas escribiria Juanfra te quiero.

También te pueden interesar:

Questo posto non deve morire la mia gente non deve partire - Rocco Hunt  
El que persiste vence.
“El mayor error que una persona puede cometer es tener miedo de cometer un error”.
Come run away with me.
La felicidad está dentro de uno, no al lado de nadie.  - Marilyn Monroe
No era más que un zorro semejante a cien mil otros. Pero yo le hice mi amigo y ahora es único en el mundo. - El Principito
One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change
Surround yourself with people who are only going to lift you higher.
Me enamoro como se enamora una persona inteligente: como un idiota. - Angeles Mastretta
“No hay nada permanente en este malvado mundo, ni siquiera nuestros problemas.”


Notas: “I’ve never wanted more, until I met you.” - 4.83 de 5 basado en 113 notas.

so tonight was the badfic panel and at first i was all “man, last year a dude dressed as the stig literally somersaulted out of the crowd to read a shitty harry potter crossover for us, how are we ever gonna beat that”

but then we announced that the next reading was from same love lockdown, and somebody in the audience confessed that the epic tale of macklemore and kanye’s romance was their doing

i had the boyfriend read chapter seven. after he read out “don’t get butthurt if you get memed on!” the entire room gave a standing ovation. 

my favorite con moments are those ones that, when i look back on them (as a writer and lover of obnoxious, bizarre, overly coincidental campy bullshit), and think “i would not have scripted that any other way.”

thank you, yourheadcanon. you have truly given us a gift that keeps on giving.