fifty miles

My dad is awesome.

This one is kinda short but I remember feeling amazing despite my age.

So when I was like nine or ten we had just taken a trip to Arizona. At one point we decided to take a drive over the border to Mexico for an evening with an old family friend that had a home there.

All went well, the dinner was lovely. But, the drive back into the US is hell. The line is like fifty miles long of pissed off drivers and flower salesman. Being nine, I somehow didn’t blow my brains out from being so bored we were in line for maybe six hours, and all was going swimmingly. Then this asshole driving in the far right lane (which was reserved for border patrol or something, I assume) suddenly tries to cut in front of us. Everyone is honking but he’s just flipping people off and smirking as he inches his car into the gap inbetween our car the one in front of us.

We had a rental so we could just up and ram his car much as I’d assume we wanted to, so my dad calmly gets out of the car and stands in front of this jerks car. The jerk starts honking his own car. My dad, brilliant as all hell, simply does that guardians of the galaxy middle finger windup to him, then proceeds to do about six or seven other variations on flipping this dude the bird. By now the people in the cars around us are all laughing and pointing at this guy and some of them are even flipping him off too.

All the loud honking had drawn the attention of a border patrol car somewhere up the line, and we heard a honk as it suddenly pulled up next to this guy. The agent got out, saw what was happening, and calmly told the man to go to the back of the line. Which was like a whole six hour wait behind us. Mister asshole decides to start defending himself, and the border patrol agent shuts him up and says “if you were in the wrong here, so many people wouldn’t be laughing at you right now.”

He drove away towards the rear of the line and we comfortably waited five more hours to get back into the US.

written on the sky

‘seeking a friend for the end of the world’ au

pairing: jungkook | reader
genre: angst and fluff (but mostly angst)
word count: 22.293
warnings: implied sex, alcohol mention
author’s note: this is an AU based on the movie ‘seeking a friend for the end of the world’. you can read this story without having watched it first. just letting you know that it follows the main ideas of the original plot, though the story is not exactly the same. :)  


≪…the urgent media call NASA is holding just revealed the unfortunate results of several failed missions that have been carried out in secret for more than six years…≫

≪…the asteroid named Golevka is sixty miles wide, and travels at roughly one hundred fifty miles per hour. It was supposed to slip past our planet in a few weeks, but it is now revealed that its orbit has shifted and it is now headed straight to Earth…≫

≪…the scientists were not able to find a feasible solution. They have called it an ‘imminent tragedy’ with zero chances of survival…≫

≪…the impact risk is at one hundred percent, and our life as we know it has only three weeks left.≫

Keep reading

4

Predict the day you sentence your enemies
Don’t look away, they’re coming for you
Predict the day we’re bathing in victory
A second chance –  I’ve fallen for you

Predict the day, the night’s never ending
A shadow falls, darken your face
I never thought – I didn’t think twice
I never thought

(and we’re back with the newest part of “Harris gets a cat in the stupidest possible way.”  To find the others, check the tag ‘Harris is a walking tire fire.’)

“All right, we’ve given him a very mild sedative, just to relax him.” Maria tucked the receipt into the folder with Slink’s medical records and a wide variety of helpful pamphlets for new pet owners. “But I actually think he’ll be fine, he’s traveled quite a bit.”

Terri put the bag of supplies on the counter. “He’s been to ever PetCo adoption event in a fifty mile radius.” She folded her arms on the edge of the counter and leaned over, bracing her chin on her wrist. Slink was curled up, the tip of his striped tail flicking slowly up and down. “Ready for your trip, Slinky-Dink?” she asked him. He yawned, his paws flexing.

“Warner’s loaded a bag of litter and a bag of food into your trunk, and we can help you with the rest of this.” Maria handed Harris his credit card back. “If it doesn’t work out-” Her eyes darted towards Terri, and Terri pushed herself upright with a sigh.

“All of our cats come with a money back guarantee,” she said with a grin.

Maria set one hand on the counter, and the other on her hip. “Stop telling people that.”

“It’s true,” Terri said. She gave Maria an innocent look. “Isn’t it?”

Keep reading

An Army Ranger, a Recon Marine, a Navy SEAL, and a member of Delta Force are sitting around a camp fire. The Army Ranger, bragging about his exploits says “You guys aren’t so tough, I once parachuted down, marched fifty miles, and killed everyone in sight.” The Recon Marine is unimpressed, and says, “That’s nothing, I once made a beach landing, marched 60 miles, and killed everyone in sight.” The SEAL is unimpressed, he says “That’s nothing, I once swam 10 miles to shore, marched 70 miles, and killed everyone in sight with my bare hands.” Thoroughly impressed, they all look over at the Delta Force member, and he’s dead silent, just stirring the coals of the fire with his dick.
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.
This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. The cost of one modern heavy bomber is this: a modern brick school in more than 30 cities. It is two electric power plants, each serving a town of 60,000 population. It is two fine, fully equipped hospitals. It is some fifty miles of concrete pavement. We pay for a single fighter with a half-million bushels of wheat. We pay for a single destroyer with new homes that could have housed more than 8,000 people… . This is not a way of life at all, in any true sense. Under the cloud of threatening war, it is humanity hanging from a cross of iron.
— 

Dwight D. Eisenhower, in response to the death of Joseph Stalin. He was hoping, begging that the Soviet leadership that replaced Stalin would work with him to de-escalate the cold war.

They didn’t. He didn’t. During his administration, US military spending rose exponentially and has remained at unsustainably high levels even after the fall of the Soviet Union.

When you wonder why Americans are without healthcare, without good education, without adequate housing, with crumbling roads and bridges, remember that we’ve known for a very long time that these things are the price we’ve paid for our military dominance.

Ask yourself, America: is it a good deal? Was it worth it then? Does it continue to be worth it now? How long does this go on? How many generations do you want to curse with perpetual brinksmanship?

Music has always been a matter of Energy to me, a question of Fuel. Sentimental people call it Inspiration, but what they really mean is Fuel. I have always needed Fuel. I am a serious consumer. On some nights I still believe that a car with the gas needle on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio.
—  Hunter S. Thompson

anonymous asked:

Imagine Steve living on a farm with lots of animals

Batter thick mud splashed, covering the dusty car in a wet spray. The sports car pulled to a stop, unrecognizable. Only minutes before, it zoomed down the highway, bright red paint gleaming in the afternoon sun.

Less than fifty miles from the heart of Manhattan, the landscape transformed. Endless farms divided by moss covered, stacked stone fences. Long meadows lie between rough mountains and dense forests.

Ticking as it cooled in the afternoon sun, the red car sat outside a neat white farmhouse with a long porch and green shutters. Nearby, there was a flurry of feathers as a chicken the color of rust lifted off. It hovered only feet off the ground, to thump onto the hood before hopping off, disappearing behind the car.

Two dark horses came over to investigate, standing by a tall wooden fence. Their big shaggy black heads, eyed the car, ears forward, listening. A larger pale horse continued to chomp grass, pulling up great clumps, and shaking it’s mane, gray tail flicking onto a dappled rear.

Beyond the house, a sky blue 1964 Ford pickup sat backed  to a faded barn’s open doors. Something moved inside the shadowy barn. Tony peered out of his dusty windshield, then popped the car door open. Stepping a leather shoe onto the dirt, he jumped back as two hound dogs came barreling from the barn. Jumping and shoving, they were a flurry of fur and slobber.

“Otis! Andy! Heel!” Steve barked, and the dogs ran back, still dancing. Steve stood outside the barn. His flannel and denim was a new look. The tight t-shirt underneath, still the same old Steve. “Hope they didn’t scratch anything.”

“Not them, but your chicken needs a manicure.” Tony joked.

Eyebrow raised, Steve walked towards the car near a tan speckled chicken pecking at a tuft of grass.

“Not that one. A big fat red one. But, it’s cool. Should buff right out. How much damage can a chicken do anyways?” The fluffy red chicken reappeared at Tony’s feet, tried to take his shoelaces. Jerking his foot away, Tony stepped back. The dogs barked at Tony’s retreat.

“Why are you here Tony?” Steve put a hand on one of the dogs to shush him. “I have work to do.” Whinnying, the gray horse joined the other two. He stomped and pawed at the ground, shaking his head.

“I just wanted to see the farm. I hadn’t thought you would be out here this long. I always took you for a city kid at heart.”

“I am a city kid. I just needed some down time.”

“Down time is going skiing in the Catskills. Going for a hike through the Adirondacks. This is starting a life.” Tony held out his arms to the farm around them. Two tiny goats came hopping from the barn, followed by an annoyed tabby.

“I’ll have you know, Barnes won the pool. Said you would be out here at least a few seasons. I put money that you would give up after three months, maybe four…”

“How is Bucky?” Steve cut in.

“Fine, fine. He loves the new shield. You can’t pry that thing out of his hands. He redesigned the uniform again. More black, and guns, but he left the white star. I keep trying to get him to ditch the red gloves, but whatever.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Yeah, I know… He’s fine. The ugly space giant just hurt his pride more than anything. He’s coming to visit once he’s off crutches. The way you two heal, that should be…” He checked his watch. “Ten minutes from now, maybe twenty.”

Turning, the gray horse trotted towards the paved road. Steve walked over to look up the drive. Off in the distance, a motorcycle gunned it’s engine.

2

Keddie Cabin Murders- On April 12, 1981 in the resort town of Keddie, California, a gruesome quadruple murder took place inside Cabin 28. The victims were Sue Sharp, her 12-year-old daughter Tina, her 15-year-old son John, and his friend, Dana Wingate (age 17). Upon investigation, police noted that the brutal attack had a particularly personal element to it, as there was an ‘overkill’ and half of the victims had been killed in a specific way. Though each of them met their untimely death by being bludgeoned with the same hammer, the coroner confirmed that Sue and John had been stabbed repeatedly, each having identical stab marks in their throats. Dana was the only victim manually strangled, suggesting a sexual element to the crime. The youngest victim, Tina, was missing from the crime scene. Her tiny skull was found years later near a waterfall fifty miles from the cabin. With such a lack of evidence, the case went cold and remains a mystery.

dave is the kind of person who’s friendly with all the cashiers at his local walmart, is on a first-name basis with the manager, gets free items now and then, hangs out in the break room, WILL show up at 3AM to chill with whoever’s on shift

dirk is the kind of person who’s banned from all walmarts within a fifty-mile radius and the local costco

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. The cost of one modern heavy bomber is this: a modern brick school in more than 30 cities. It is two electric power plants, each serving a town of 60,000 population. It is two fine, fully equipped hospitals. It is some fifty miles of concrete pavement. We pay for a single fighter with a half-million bushels of wheat. We pay for a single destroyer with new homes that could have housed more than 8,000 people… This is not a way of life at all, in any true sense. Under the cloud of threatening war, it is humanity hanging from a cross of iron.
—  Dwight D. Eisenhower, Chance for Peace speech, April 16, 1953

“On some nights I still believe that a car with the gas needle on empty can run about fifty more miles with the right music on the radio.”

- Hunter S. Thompson

Praia de São Julião, Portugal


Follow the hashtag #Fromrusttoroadtrip to follow our van conversion project and our travels around Europe! 🌍    

2

It didn’t take more than five minutes ‘til Madi ran down the stairs, excited to greet the new guests. More specifically, Lacy. It was like Madi had a pink-detector - anything pink within a fifty mile radius, she was inclined to interact with.

Madi: “Oh my goodness!!! Your outfit is amazing!”

Lacy: “At least one of the Siegel twins can appreciate good fashion. Lacy still hadn’t gotten over Rowan’s insult at the park.

Madi: “I was just playing with my dollhouse, you should join.”

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ ALL THE AU IDEAS
  • My car broke down and you just happen to be the only mechanic for fifty miles au
  • I’m a wedding planner and you’re a funeral director au
  • My cat got stuck in a tree and you’re who the fire department sent au
  • I’m a stressed out teacher and you just happen to be the super hot substitute filling in for me during my vacation au
  • You curse under your breath in a foreign language and I know I shouldn’t be turned on but I totally am au
  • We are neighbors and your ‘adult product’ ended up in my mailbox au
  • You work at the senior home my parents are staying at au
  • We are roommates who have started leaving passive aggressive notes to each other about doing the dishes correctly au
  • I drove all the way to the store for a certain box of cereal and you just picked up the last box au
  • My cable box isn’t working and you are the customer service representative I am connected to au
  • You stole my parking spot au
  • You babysit for my kids and they keep trying to set us up au
  • The senior class decided to haze me and duct tape me to a tree and you are the one who finds me au
  • You’re my surprisingly gorgeous roommate who likes to walk around our apartment shirtless au
  • So you’re the asshole who keeps photobombing my selfies au
  • I work at Starbucks and intentionally spell your name wrong on your cup au
  • Your dog tries to hump my leg every time it sees me au
  • I thought it was small animals stealing my vegetables from my garden but it’s you au
  • My phone number was written on a bathroom wall so you called for a good time au
  • You’re the douchebag that keeps trying to hack into my wifi au
  • I saw you studying for finals in the library and thought you might like some coffee au
  • We are strangers sitting next to each other during a scary movie and I totally just grabbed your hand but you haven’t pulled away au
  • I thought you were a home intruder but really you’re just the cable guy au
  • I just went through surgery and you’re my hot physical therapist au
  • You stole my usual seat at the coffee shop and I don’t know how to ask for it back au
  • You’re a hot firefighter and I might have pulled the fire alarm on purpose au
  • I got locked out of my apartment and you’re my neighbor that I’ve never spoken to but yes I’d like to crash on your couch until the locksmith arrives au
  • You mistook me for a famous movie star and I’m totally going along with it au
  • You’re the star quarterback and I’m the waterboy au
  • Rival newscasters au
  • I hit you with my car because you were jaywalking au
  • We went driving with no destination in mind and now we are totally lost au
  • I’m your upstairs neighbor and I might have just fallen through your ceiling au
  • I’m the new mailman and you like to check the mail in your underwear au
  • We are best friends who unknowingly share true love’s dance at a masquerade ball au
  • ALL THE AUS