fifth harmony boss

Last night, I had a wet dream that Lauren Jauregui beat the shit out of me, stole my chicken strip, and subsequently stole my heart before leaving me to die in a dark alley I have never felt so alive.

  • Coworkers: When's payday?
  • Me: Everyday is payday
  • Coworkers: Oh. No don't start.
  • Me: Swipe my card then I do the nae nae
  • Coworkers: No please. Don't dance
  • Me: You're talking to a lady
  • Coworkers: Not again. Yes. I know.
  • Me: I wan't a Kanye-ye not a Ray J
  • Coworkers: No you don't, you're a lesbian.