fifel

You know that moment at the start of every Pokemon game after your introduction, it tells you

“A new adventure awaits you. Let’s go!” Or something

And then everything changes?

That’s how I feel about moving from Texas to Oregon right now. Like, a whole new life is unfurling itself in front of me, and it’s really scary but, also, there’s so much good that can come from it. Like. Am I upgrading my life would you think? Getting out of Texas? 

I never thought of Texas as a state that I always wanted to “get out of someday” like so many people talk about their hometown. When I moved to Texas from Cuba, I hated it. All I knew about Texas going into it was what I had seen on cartoons like Fifel Goes West. All I knew was there were deserts and cacti and tumbleweeds and cowboys and horses and that was not the aesthetic for me, oh I always knew that!

But that’s not what Texas ended up being. At least, my little slice of Texas. I lived by a huge city, and I fell in love with the skyline at night. People didn’t have thick accents like I was especting either, although we all say “ya’ll”, rest assured. Texas is a huge, huge state, bigger than a lot of countries, and it’s diverse in its culture. When you talk about a “Texan” as a stereotype, you’re often times gonna get it wrong because Texas is just so big, it’s like, “Okay what area of Texas are you tryin’ to talk about here?” In which, I would point to King of the Hill and say, “That! That’s my stereotype because the city Hank Hill lives in is literally based off of Arlington and they take actual real life Texan things an insert it into their cartoon.”

But like. I don’t hate Texas. Not like I use to. I kind of have grown fond of it. It’s, again, not the best, but no place is all good, right? This is my home and it has never become a place that I wanted to escape from. Even when my ex expressed worries about coming to Texas to visit me, she was so scared because we would clearly be seen as a queer couple, and she was so scared of what she’s heard Texans do to queer people. But. I mean. I’ve lived here my whole life and- I’m not scared of what Texans do to queer people, because, I grew up near a big city and it’s- while it’s not SUPER progressive or anything- you don’t get the same stories as you do about the people who live out in the middle of nowhere, you feel?

And, there have been some things about my state that I’ve been quite ashamed of, and- in light of that shame, I have improved, and wanted my state to improve but…

I mean, all in all, I’m comfortable here. I know how to act, how to talk, I know to expect southern hospitality, and to give southern hospitality. I know the food, the tempermant of the people, and- I love the spring warmth and the summer heat. I love my home. I never felt like I had to escape it. Just. Maybe. Evolve from it. Move on from it. But not escape it.

I never thought I’d be moving to Oregon. The idea that I’m moving to The West Coast is kind of HUGE and is just now slowly hitting me. I always thought I’d be moving out of necessity for a job, and- well, I am, it’s just not my job, and it’s not California like I had planned for my career in animation.

I’m on a whole new adventure.

New people, new attitudes about things, new ways of speaking, new manners, new perspectives, new temperatures, new natural disasters, new cultures, new food, new ways of thinking! And what if people just don’t like me..? If I rub people the wrong way or step on their toes? It’s not like moving to another country, but Texas is still going to be very much so inherrently different from any state up north.

I’m on a new adventure. Let’s go.