fictional: fragments

Maybe this is what it’s all about. You love a person for as long as you possibly can until you run out of love. You love them even when they don’t love you. And then you can leave, as quietly as you came, knowing that you gave all you had, knowing that you couldn’t have been any more than what you were and that it was pure, that it was full and that you were honest with it all.
—  Azra.T
You adored a beast so much that you scared him back into the forest and that was how you knew that scary things were scared too and if you loved him honestly enough he would dig his claws into the ground and howl with grief because he looked at himself and saw hell and you looked at him and thought ‘I will take your demons and I will carry them all with me.’
—  Azra.T “Monsters”
Maybe if I’d fucked you more and loved you less I could have left this battlefield wearing just bruises and teeth, but I’m sure that even the cavalry knows that there’s a crack in my heart and it’s been leaking your name ever since we stopped fighting this fight. What I’m trying to say is: you win. It’s all yours. I’m tired and I tried. I’m tired and I love you. I’m tired and I didn’t mean to.
—  Azra.T
I think I am very lonely–my mind jumps. I see myself in the mirror now, brow furrowed–if I lean in close I see what I don’t want to know–tension, sadness, disappointment, my eyes dulled, cheeks flushed with capillaries that look like rivers on maps, hair lying like snakes. The mouth makes me the saddest, next to my dead eyes.
—  Marilyn Monroe, Fragments
Oh Lion, My Lion

The words of this song are property of Suzanne van Pelt. I was inspired to write this listening at her masterpiece HERE
Dedicated to @alma-enigmatica , who was waiting for a new fan fiction. I hope you like it!

Cullen Rutherford X Demetra Trevelyan

Oh lion, my lion your deafening roar
Will again be as loud as it once was before
We fight through the nightmares, the shades and the fade
Til the war has been won and the tides have been swayed

“It’s about me! Us! It’s… it’s your poetry!” Cullen said dumbstrucked, stopping abruptly in the middle of the road and grabbing his beloved’s hand so thight she winced. He murmured an apology, softening his grip, but his eyes, wide open and shocked, were glued on the wooden building in front of them.
From the little tavern, the melodic voices of the ministrels warmed the quiet summer night, and the former Inquisitor released the breath she didn’t realize was holding back in her throat.

“They came to visit me, some days ago, when you were out with your brother.” she murmured quietly, an apology shying rising in her voice “They… they has read my poetries and asked the permission to set some of them to music. I don’t know how they knew I was here in the South Reach, visiting your family.”.

He looked at her, his cheeks reddened “Why didn’t you tell me?”. Cullen was still puzzled, his eyes unsure, and her heart squeezed in her chest. Cornered.
Maybe that had been a mistake.

Keep reading

in a world that continually tries to convince you of all the spaces you have cracked, all the aces you lack, the straitjacket of fate, that it is either never or too late -  it is an act of fierce revolution to be in a near militant adoration of your own heart.

Tu me rends folle, je n’ai jamais été comme ça avant, j’aime ta peau, j’ai toujours envie de te toucher, et ton odeur, putain tu me rends folle, regarde comme je suis collante, il faut que je me colle à toi dès que je te vois, je n’ai jamais été comme ça avant, putain je suis folle, complètement folle, qu’est-ce que tu m’as fait ? Viens, baise-moi encore, j’ai envie. Une fois qu’on a entendu ça, on peut mourir tranquille, non ?
—  Kradify - Journal inactuel
In the letter I will write ‘I have loved you wholeheartedly and without apology and that is why I am leaving. I am open and you are closed and I’d rather adore you and go, than hate you and stay. I hope you forgive me. I hope that everything feels soft against your hands. I hope the entire world says your name like it means it. There’s a heart where my lungs should be and I’ve been hiccuping your name in fits. This has to stop. I am giving you that piece of yourself back. I’ve left it on the kitchen counter. I hope that you love it as much as I did. May you be warm, may the light always touch you like you’re important. You are.’
—  Azra.T “hold onto your heart, love”

Virgo You’re going to burn your wardrobe when you get home. The lights on the side of the deserted macadam ignite your hands, gripping the steering wheel. The night extinguishes them. Your eyes are affixed to this strange battle of man and nature and ignore the road ahead, allowing the wheels to follow their own intuition around the curves. Behind your eyes an image glows, your clothes curling, decaying, devoured by heat and light.

Libra His name peppers your conversations. You worry your friends will start noticing that your skull is filled with a fog of him, so you try to stop your mouth from spilling those syllables, but they dribble out just the same. Pick up the phone, knock on his door. Reclaim yourself.

Scorpio The unmarked CD turns out to be the one your best friend made on the day of your high school graduation. You’re amazed to find that the lyrics to every song still trip off your tongue as if they’re engraved on your frontal cortex, even though it’s been years since many of them danced in your ears. Each track paints a picture of the person you were at eighteen and the conversations you had about dead ends and chasing passions. You wish you still believed in that.

—  This October by l.a.g.
Il existe sur cette terre deux sortes de gens méchants, les vrais, ceux qui jouissent des souffrances qu’ils infligent, et les autres, ceux qui n’arrivent pas à guérir de leurs blessures et qui mordent, comme une bête malade, tous ceux qui les approchent.
—  Kradify - Journal inactuel
I’ve learned that I’m never going to let myself be an option again. That there is something demeaning about waiting for someone to decide that you’re worth loving, that you’re something that they want. It shouldn’t be a decision, it should be a necessity. I’m going to be necessary from now on or I’m simply not going to exist for people who can’t pick. You either want me or you don’t. Anything else is a copout. Anything else is a cowards way out. I deserve more than indecisiveness. I deserve more than ‘I don’t know.’ The next time someone tells me to wait for them, I’m going to smile gently and tell them that there’s no need. I’ve made my decision, I hope that you’re happy with it.
—  Azra.T
Tu le savais bien pourtant que l'amour fait mal ? Mais tu es comme ces camés qui se shootent sans jamais penser au manque, et finissent dans la rue, ivres de douleur, en se tordant les mains.
—  Kradify - Journal inactuel