there is so much that I haven’t done
all the things I’ve read about in books
like laughing so hard I start to cry
or making someone’s heart stop
when they look at me
or maybe swimming out past the buoys
beyond the breaking point of the waves
where some say the water is so calm
it feels like silk on your fingertips


there is so much that I haven’t done
and so much to look forward to


and so here’s to another day of
not giving up

—  Leigh, day 333
Quick Thinking

Words: A little under 600
Description: Just a short Dean x reader drabble/imagine I thought of earlier. Completely fluffy. The reader has a hurried plan that she has to execute before Dean arrives.

—-

A pair of shorts might look nice day to day, but for what you’d been doing it wasn’t the best choice. You gulped, looking down to your stcratched legs, blood beading slightly on one of the scrapes close to your ankle. The thorns had been killer on your bare legs but there hadn’t really been time for a change of clothes. When you’d gotten word, thre hadn’t been time to hang around.

“Nothing like those perfect summer legs,” you muttered sarcastically to yourself, shifting the backpack higher on your shoulder. You walked back to the motel as quickly as possible, ignoring the sting from the wind. You had to be quick, Sam had already said Dean would be back soon.

You found the key where he had said it would be, under a nearby rock. You’d scold him later for the lack of originality in his hiding places, but for now you let yourself into the room. Carefully placing the bag on the bed so as not to damage the contents, you looked around trying to think quickly. You had a plan and you needed to do this before Dean got back for this to work properly. If he walked in before you were finished there was going to be far more questions than you wanted.

Grabbing the Tupperware box out of your bag, you prepped the ingredients you’d collected and chucked them into a large mug - it was the closest thing you had to the kind of dish most people would use. Nodding to yourself, determined, you glanced back to the website you’d bookmarked on your phone. Now, the theory of the next bit was easy but since when did theory translate to real life? With a grimace, you pressed the makeshift lid onto the mug and placed it in the microwave. It was close timing as you heard the rumble of the impalas engine but this would only need 2 minutes… fingers crossed.

You watched the dull yellow glow from the microwave as the mug went round and round. Heavy footsteps were approaching now - it just needed a few more seconds. You heard the key enter the lock and you bit your lip just as the microwave ticked down to 3 seconds. Close enough. You yanked the microwave door open, before it could make a noise, grabbing the mug out, and turned to face the front door just as Dean entered.

“Happy Birthday,” You said louding, presenting the cup out to him. You were slightly breathless from the rush but the surprise on his face was enough to make it all worthwhile.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Dean said, eyes wide. He started to smile but then his eyes dropped to the offering in your hands. “Is that…?”

“The closest I could get to home made pie.” You nodded, laughing as you spoke, “A freshly cooked blackberry pie. Berries picked by yours truly less than an hour ago.”

Dean grinned and dumped his bag on the spot, striding over to give you a hug. He practically crushed you, but you didn’t really care.

“Y/N, have I ever told you how much I love you?” He grinned, squeezing you once more before letting go and standing back. He shook his head in disbelief as he took the mug off you, sniffing it and letting out a contented sigh.

“A few times,” you poked your tongue out,“ Now come on, you’ve got to try it, I’ve never made one of these before so I’m dying to see if it worked.”

You told me you didn’t cry because you had pride. I told you it was okay, nothing was wrong with that but you said it was something you’d rather do on your own. My love, I’m here to see you in one piece, and I’ll be here too when you fall apart. You don’t always have to be alone to soften the cracks so you can heal.
—  you can cry // s.c
Three horsepeople of the semi-apocalypse

“You sure you got ‘em all?” He asked as the three of them slipped quietly through the darkened yard of the transfer station.

“Yep,” the dark-haired girl agreed confidently, holding up a can of spray paint. “Monkey skills and this are no match for cameras. Where’s his car?”

“Right there,” he answered, pointing to a ragged out Camaro. Too many run-ins with the same douche-bag had culminated that afternoon into a blowup of epic proportion on his part. The asshole in question had left his vehicle at work to go drinking with some other rednecks after hours, giving them a prime opportunity to take revenge. “What’s the plan again?”

“Run over the car, back up, scoop it into the ditch, and then set it on fire,” she repeated with mild exasperation, flipping open her lighter for punctuation. “Done and done.”

He opened his mouth, suddenly doubting a plan that had been hatched between shots of tequila, but before he could figure out what to say, he was interrupted.

“Is that it?” the girl on the other side of him asked excitedly, her dark eyes glittering in the faint glow of the security light. The front end loader he drove everyday loomed before them. She had been begging to drive it all night, and had just about talked him into handing over the keys.

“Yeah, that’s it,” he agreed hesitantly.

“Come on!” she insisted, dragging him by one arm. The two girls scrambled up into the cab and he followed, any doubt evaporating as he was surrounded by them in the small space. Their half-drunk excitement was too infectious. And what did he have to lose at this point, anyway? After what happened, he probably wouldn’t have a job long, and he hated it, besides.

“Let’s show this motherfucker what happens when he fucks with the wrong people,” the little one snarled in the dark.

As the engine rumbled to life, the other one put a plastic Viking helmet on her head and let out a scream: “TO VALHALLA!”

PRINT COPIES AVAILABLE!

At long last, after months of editing and formatting, beautiful paperback copies of Theonite: Planet Adyn are available on Amazon!

If you enjoyed the kindle version of Planet Adyn and want more of the world of Theonite, consider getting yourself a paperback copy for the additional material such as beautiful Yammanka-style chapter headers and the Yammaninke alphabet guide in the back.

Enjoy!

Chapter 70: The Wait

Chris:  

It had been 3 long hours since we’d gotten to this hospital. And still we had little to no information on the progression of Jhene or Asia, the doctors kept telling us they’d inform us on any updates but so far there was nothing. All we knew was they were both still in Emergency surgery.  

Eventually they allowed me back inside the hospital and they’d moved us from the A&E department to a family waiting room. Everybody had arrived by now, Bow and Tikira, Tae and Alana, my mom was here and so was Jhene’s dad along with his wife Annette. Whilst everybody else was crying and just going through a whirlwind of emotions, he was surprisingly calm; he just sat there silently staring into space. It was the sort of silence that was just edging on the verge of snapping. I on the other hand was bugging out. My mind was ticking overtime with the thoughts of all the things we did and memories we shared, and then having to imagine them not there anymore. I felt numb and empty inside.  

I just didn’t know what to do with myself.  

I couldn’t handle being stuck in the waiting room, watching and hearing as everybody sobbed and cried. I wanted to be strong for the both of them, but this shit made me weak,  I know I wasn’t the best man to her and I know deep down I didn’t deserve either of them but the thought of losing them killed me inside man.I wasn’t sobbing but no matter how much I wanted the tears to stop they wouldn’t stop; it was just tears constantly pouring down. I felt helpless like I couldn’t just sit here and wait for doctors to come out and tell me my daughter and my girl were gone; I needed to do something!  

Noticing my level of anxiety I felt Mama grab a hold of my hand. I looked up at her just as more tears fell out my eyes. “I can’t do this ma. I can’t wait around and do this”  I whispered to her.  

“You have to baby. This isn’t about you right now” she spoke softly.  

“I know  but… what if they die ma”  

“Just continue to pray for them baby. Don’t lose your faith in this time of need” she encouraged.  

It was all good praying but what use was praying if they were already in a fucked up situation! God clearly wasn’t listening to our prays, especially if he knew this was her fear and allowed it to happen!  

“But if they die ma,  the last thing I did was hurt her. I didn’t tell her how much I loved her. She left Mijo’s because of me… I hurt her again…This is all my fault man” I said quietly.  

This was all my fault! If I had just left her alone from the very beginning, none of this would’ve happened, if I had let her go when she was asking me too, we wouldn’t be here right now. I pushed her to her breaking point; I caused all of this. And if they died tonight, I would never forgive myself for all the shit I put them through…

In the mist of the quiet room, I suddenly heard somebody scoff. Mama must’ve heard it too as she silently glanced over at Tikira who starring daggers at me from the opposite side of the room. Bow glared at her in a way that silently told her not to start “What? I don’t even know why he’s here right now anyway" She mumbled in reference to me as she cut her eyes in disgust.  

“Shut up Tikira” he mumbled tiredly under his breath  

“What was that?” I asked looking directly at her; she looked back over at me, her eyes were bloodshot red from where she’d been crying this whole time.  

“Christopher” Mama called me in a warning tone. Everybody’s eyes slowly fell between us…  

“You heard exactly what I said” Tikira replied with an nonchalant attitude  

“Nah repeat yourself since you always got something to say”  

“Chris!” Mama snapped  

“I said I don’t know why you’re here in the first place, You ain’t got no right to be here. Your sitting up here acting like you care so much when your the reason this all happened! If she had never met you, she wouldn’t be like this right now!”  

“Alright Tikira that’s enough!” Jhene’s pops warned her.   

“No pops it’s true, he’s ruined her! Ask anyone in this room! Jhene ain’t been the same for months and its all because of this nigga!” She yelled in my direction.   

“Yo Tikira just chill out man, what the fuck is wrong with you! now is not the time!” Bow shouted in annoyance at her  

“So when is the time Bow?! Everybody wants to sit in here and act like he’s got a right to be here when he don’t! Him and Jhene were barely on speaking terms before this all because of the way he treated her but now he’s here acting as if he’s this fucking caring ass boyfriend?!"   

“His fucking child’s in there! He got every right to be here right now. Just shut the fuck up already damn!” he said to her. Tikira looked at him with disgust and then her eyes fell upon all of us, she scoffed; her eyes vicious  

"So none of y'all gonna say anything?” She pointed from Mijo right up until she got to Kyra, they all stayed silent “…Yo y'all are all a bunch of pussy’s" she insulted “Everybody’s watched for weeks  him treat Jhene like a piece of shit and now her and baby girl are fighting for their lives in that operating room you all expect me to shut my mouth like y'all and just listen as he plays this ‘woe is me’ card with his mom?! No way! Yes this is all his fault and yes you should feel guilty for all the shit you’ve put her through!” she spat as she looked my way.  

“Man fuck you Tikira” I mumbled tiredly. I couldn’t be asked to argue with this girl just out of the sheer fact she was my boys girl and I knew I could get real disrespectful with it.  

“Nah nigga fuck you!” she spat back with venom “Your a fucking joke Chris! I will NEVER fuck with you, and I wish to God Jhene never met your sorry ass! All you did was play her like some joke and use her heart for your own benefit! You never loved her! Your a fraud ass nigga and you don’t deserve to be here!"   

"Tae, take her outside to cool off for a second” Mr Carter ordered her. Tae sighed and stood up.  

“I don’t need to cool off!” Tiki replied “I need y'all to stop acting fake when this bitch nigga is around!"   

“Leave it T lets go” Tae tried to get her up but Tiki snatched away from her  

"No I’m not leaving shit! Leaving it is what’s got her laying up in a hospital bed right now!” She shouted at her and then turned her attention back onto me.  

“Just admit it Chris you never really cared about Jhene! The way you play with her head like it’s game!  The way your so possessive when she’s tries to move on and try and play it off as if you just ‘love her’ that much you can’t let go when in reality your ass is just insecure that she’ll go out and actually find a man who’ll treat her the way she deserves! All the foul ass shit you say to her when you’re ‘mad’ hoping she’d forgive you when you calmed down! You didn’t care how that shit effected her! You don’t care if she’s up all night crying over you. You didn’t care how she felt when you’d run back and fourth between her and your weak ass baby mother! You don’t care how that fucks up her self esteem! Why don’t you tell her dad how you told his daughter that you hated her a few days ago and that you wish you hadn’t met her. Why don’t you explain to him that the whole reason Jhene fucked off back to New York was because YOU made her choose between her unborn baby and you! Your a bitch and I swear to God I fucking hate you from the bottom of my heart! And if my best friend dies tonight I promise on everything I will fucking put a bullet in you myself Chris!"   

"LASHONTAE!” Jhene’s pops yelled at her for her to get Tikira out of here.   

“Tiki come on yo!” Tae finally managed to drag her out by her arm.  

***

“What the hell was all that about Christopher!?” Mama asked a deep frown was etched onto her face

“Just leave it ma” I mumbled pulling my hood up on my head  

“No not leave it Chris, this girls threatening to shoot you and you expect me to just leave it?” She raised her voice

“Ma! Damn, it’s not even that deep. Who gives a fuck about what she says. She runs her fucking mouth like that all the damn time. Fuck her!” I replied.

“I don’t know what the hell is going on between you and Tikira but right now is not the time to be yelling and arguing about who the fuck did or said what to who! My daughter and granddaughter could be dying in there! Do you think I wanna hear about this bullshit?!” Mr Carter yelled angrily.  

“Rich please calm down” Annette tried to calm him  

“Yo Mr Carter, Mama Joyce, on behalf of Tiki I apologise man. She’s outta line right now but I know her emotions are just running high” Bow spoke standing up  

“Everybody’s emotions are running high right now, please everybody can we just try and keep positive for the sake of Asia & Jhene anything other than their wellbeing can be left outside!” Annette was the voice of reasoning. Everybody murmured in agreement whilst I just sat there in silence.  

“Chris bro, I’m sorry man. You know how she gets” Bow muttered as he approached me with a dap. I said nothing, I just nodded cool and dapped him up. He couldn’t control his girls mouth.  And Perhaps what Tiki was saying was true anyway. This was all my fault at the end of the day. If I hadn’t forced myself back into Jhene’s life, she wouldn’t be laying on the emergency table right now.  

This whole time I’d been selfish. I knew I wasn’t loving her and treating her the way she deserved too be treated but for my own selfish reasons I continued to string her  along, all because I didn’t know what I wanted, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to face losing her to another nigga if I let her go.  

I used her heart to my advantage. She even said it, I played with her emotions as if she wasn’t human.. I kept her close enough so that she didn’t wanna go anywhere but further enough so that I didn’t feel obligated to have to commit to her.  I was a fucked up individual and now I had to deal with my karma in ten folds. I couldn’t even be mad at Tikira for speaking how she felt, cause when it came down to it, it a lot of it was true.  

After Bow left  to go check on Tikira  the room went back to everybody silently grieving. I sat in the same spot. My head never came back up. I couldn’t stop thinking about if they was going to be okay. What if they couldn’t save them?  I know  people always said think positive but right now there wasn’t nothing to positive happening in my life recently, why would today be any different.

After about 30 long minutes, The door to the waiting room reopened and finally in walked the Doctor “Families of both Miss Jhene and Asia Carter” he called. Jhene’s pops along with his wife and Mama immediately stood up. Mama turned and looked at me in a way that silently told me to get up. Sighing I stood up and approached the doctor. “I’m sorry sir, Who are you may I ask?” He asked looking at me.   

“Asia’s dad” I replied clearing my throat. He looked at Jhene’s dad for confirmation when he nodded his head in approval, he began “Ok so Asia… Asia” he said looking down at his clipboard of notes. “So let me just begin with saying, she’s very much lucky to be alive…” he said. A sigh of relief and suddenly a huge weight lifted off my shoulders hearing those words. “The state of car crash usually patients that require an air ambulance to the hospital don’t usually recover as fast as she has. Especially as young as she is. Right now she’s in fair condition and as a result we’ve been able to thankfully stabilise her breathing-”  

“So she’s going to be alright right?” I interrupted him.  

“At the moment sir everything is looking hopeful but like I said she is still so young, so there’s really no telling how the rest of the night may go. She’s still under general anaesthesia at the moment but we’ve got a Nurse on 24hour room watch until she’s in stable condition. She’s only suffered a minor abrasion to the forehead and across nose but thanks to the car seat she was strapped in, she has no broken bones or major injuries. She may experience some discomfort for the next couple of days, maybe mild headaches however that is expected for such a collision”  

“Thank you Jesus!” Mama sighed in relief as she wiped away her tears. I smiled down at her and brought her into a side hug rubbing her shoulders in comfort.  

“Can I go see her?” I asked.  

“We’re still busy running some tests on her, just to be sure no internal bleeding has occurred etc. But Once we have everything situated I’ll send a Nurse down to come and get you, however visiting hours are over so you won’t be able to stay for too long, perhaps 15 minutes”  

“That’s fine” I nodded “Thank you Doc”  

“No problem. You have yourself a little trooper” he smiled. I lightly sighed.  

“Okay, As for Miss Jhene Carter…” He cleared his throat and looked at Mr Carter and his wife, “At the moment we’re still operating on your daughter sir, we’re sorry to say she’s still in very critical condition.  Jhene’s suffered a traumatic brain injury from the impact of the collision which in turn has resulted in her falling into a stage 3 coma. We believe the force in which the vehicle has collided has caused the brain to shift and collide with the skull around it. This sudden movement has bruised brain tissue and damaged part of the nerve cel”  

“Well what does that mean in the long run?” Mr Carter asked  

“It means if she does eventually wake up from her coma, there may be a 50/50 chance of brain damage. This could be anything from consistent headaches, post-traumatic amnesia  to more long term effects  such as limited functions of the arms and legs, loss of thinking ability, abnormal speech and in extreme cases may result in a vegetative state. The range of injuries and degree of recovery is very variable and varies on an individual basis sir. However we won’t be able to know for sure what the outcome is until she wakes up” he explained

“And what’s the possibility of her waking up?” Annette asked.  

“Mam the  possibility right now is very tricky to  determine as she has just been through a traumatic accident; both on the body and the brain. Some people remain in comas for a few hours others can go weeks or months it all depends on the person’s recovery…”

He went on to further detail her injuries, she suffered two broken ribs, and a fractured collar bone also her left leg was broken in two places. With every word he spoke, the larger the lump in my throat grew and it was becoming hard for me to breathe. Nothing that was coming from his mouth was positive at this point my mind was just blank.  

I watched as he  glanced back down at his notes making sure he’d informed us of everything, "Oh how could I forget…I must also regret to inform you that due to internal bleeding around her uterus which we have reasons to believe was caused by the tightness of the seat belt unfortunately she loss a major amount of blood so we were not able to save the baby on this occasion but we do believe-”  

“Baby?” My head suddenly perked up interrupting him. “W-what are you talking about save the baby, she was pregnant?" I asked in confusion.  

”..You didn’t know?“ The doctor spoke in slight shock as he looked between all of us. Mr Carter looked my way and so did Mama.  

"No I didn’t know that man" I mumbled with a frown  

"Sir according to my papers she was close to 12 weeks, I’m not quite sure how it could’ve been overlooked…"   

"I didn’t know” I repeated. “She didn’t tell me anything”  

“Sir this is no way to find out, I’m sorry for your loss. If there’s anything we can provide such as counselling or therapy sessions we’d be more than willing to. As a hospital we understand the lasting effects the lost of a baby can have amongst the parents”  

“Is that gonna bring back my child? If not, I don’t wanna hear that shit” I muttered

“Chris!” My mom gently scolded.  

“Fair enough. We’ll keep you updated on the progression of Miss Carter, and I’ll have one of my nurses be down shortly to bring you to see Asia” he smiled briefly before he quickly scurried out of the waiting room. I blew out a long breath and looked up at the ceiling. Way too much was happening all at once, I was glad my baby girl was okay but the fact Jhene wasn’t doing better and now I found out she was pregnant and miscarried made my happiness bitter sweet.  

Why didn’t she tell me?  This whole time she’d told me she was on birth control because she didn’t want anymore kids so at what point did she fail to mention she was off it. And if she was near 12 weeks along when exactly did she find out? I had a million and one questions that only she could answer right now.  

“I need to take a walk” Mr Carter suddenly said before he left out the room in anger the door slamming shut. Annette quickly got up and followed behind him.  

"That Poor man he’s not taking this well” mama looked at the door with a sad look.  

“His wife, Jhene’s mom died the same way. It’s probably messing with his head right now” I sighed.  

“Oh my. I just pray she pulls through this. No parent should have to bury their child. Baby I’m going to find a toilet and give Joe a call, I’ll be back” Mama said lightly brushing my arm

“Aight” I muttered as she left out of the waiting room. I took a deep breath and walked back  towards the seating area. Mijo was talking with Trey and Ty was zoned out his head resting on the wall. I slid up next to Kyra, bumping into her lightly. She looked up at me as I sat down, her eyes were bloodshot red from all the crying she’d been doing.  

“Any news?” she asked referring to the doctor. Everybody quickly gave me their attention  

“Yeah um…Asia’s good man” I smiled,  "They said she’s doing better and I can go see her when they come back down, their just gonna check to make sure she ain’t got any internal bleeding or anything but other than that baby girl’s good”  

“Oh thank God she’s okay! I’m literally loosing my mind right now”  Kyra sniffed

“Same. I’m just happy she’s good, I need to see her, they need to hurry up, up there”  

“What about Nae Chris, she good too?” Ty asked  

I shook my head, “Nah man, He said their still operating on her but, she fell into a coma during surgery so it’s not looking too good…He was talking a lot of stuff about possible brain damage and something  about internal bleeding around her stomach, caused her a miscarriage”

“Miscarriage? Wait…she was pregnant?” Mijo looked shocked.  

Slowly I nodded “Yeah apparently”  

“You didn’t know?”  

“Nah. I had no clue, I found out when the doctor said it. She didn’t tell me”  

“Damn” they said in unison, Kyra sat there in total silence and aimlessly looked down at her fingers.  I could tell by her sudden reclusive behaviour, something was up.

“Did they say how far she was?” Mijo asked me. I briefly glanced his way and then looked back at Kyra.  

“You knew didn’t you” I suddenly asked her. Everyone looked at her and she looked up at me sympathetically, both our eyes connected on a deeper level. I knew she knew; it was written on her face. “Yeah you knew”

“Chris I’m so sorry but she asked me not to say anything what was I supposed to do?” she spoke apologetically.  

“So you knew this whole time?” I questioned her.  

“Not that long”  she mumbled.  

“What’s not that long?”  

“Like a few weeks.”  

“She was near 12 weeks Ky so how long?”  

“like maybe 2 weeks I don’t know” she sighed.  

“When you stayed at my crib that day, did you know?”  

“No! She didn’t even know then. She only recently found out herself” she explained. I looked to the side and I clenched my jaw “Chris she was gonna tell you eventually believe me. But at the time she found out you guys weren’t talking at all so, she was just scared…”  

“Scared of what, me?” I slightly raised my voice.  

Kyra sighed and ran her fingers through her hair “Honestly Chris I think she needs to tell you all that, It really ain’t my place”

“Well she might not wake up again to be able tell me Ky so I think it’s the least you could do right now”  

Kyra looked down; her hands cupping her head, I looked over at Mijo for answers but he shrugged silently letting me know he had no clue what was going on either  

“Yo?” I slightly nudged her

“Chris I really don’t want to say it, because I know how you might react and I think it’ll be better coming from Jhene’s mouth herself”

“What was she was gonna get an abortion or something?” I asked ignoring what she had just said. Kyra looked at me and sighed. “She was huh”  

“No that’s not it” Kyra mumbled  

“Then what?!”  

she looked over at Mijo for moral support.  

“Ky just tell him man” he spoke softly. Whatever it was clearly was something bad cause she couldn’t say it.  

“She just told me… she was scared to tell you because… she wasn’t exactly sure whose baby it was” she quietly mumbled the last bit.  

But I heard her loud and clear. Mijo & Ty’s eyes widened but the both stayed silent looking between us. I stared at her for a second.  

My chest growing tight with emotions.  

“What are you talking about right now Kyra?”  

She looked at me and sighed.  

“Chris this is why I didn’t want to say it. I’m just telling you what she said to me. She told me she thought it was your baby because you was the only person she was with but she wasn’t 100% sure because of how far along she was and obviously before she got back dealing with you she was in a relationship with that Marlon dude so she was a little scared that there might’ve been a possibility the baby was his”  

“She broke down crying because she said she didn’t want to have the baby if it was his but she also said she didn’t want to have an abortion just in case it was yours so she didn’t know what to do”  

“…so she must’ve been fucking the both of us at the same time if she  didn’t know who she got pregnant by” I spoke bitterly. Kyra screwed her face at me as if she was offended  

“Whoa Chris! Don’t do that to her…Don’t try and play her like she’s a hoe, you know damn well Jhene’s always been all about you and she cut that nigga off with quickness for you! Yes before you she was in relationship with somebody else, just like you were!”  

“You just told me she knew she was pregnant but didn’t know who the father was, how the hell do you expect me to react to that shit Kyra?” I asked her

“Not like that Chris because I know you had absolutely no problem fucking both her and Jen at the same time! That double standard shit is wrong! And besides I PRETTY SURE Jhene wasn’t sleeping with both of you at the same time!”

“And how are you so sure of that shit? Was you in bed with Jhene or something?” I asked sarcastically.  

Kyra smacked her teeth. “Your doing her dirty right now and you know you are”  

“Nah man what she did as dirty, I ain’t fucking with that shit…I ain’t fucking with that shit at all” I mumbled getting up and leaving the waiting room.  

I ain’t naïve and I get she was seeing that nigga before I came back around, I accepted that shit; cause at the end of the day it was before me but the fact she was pregnant and didn’t know who the dad was just didn’t sit well with me. That was some foul ass shit, didn’t matter who it was coming from. I’d be lying if I acted like it didn’t bother me.  

As I was walking towards the exit, I noticed Mama down the hall walking towards me.  

“Where are you going?”she asked as she gently grabbed my arm.  

“Away from here” I slightly pulled away from her and started for the exit.  I heard her calling my name in the distant but I just continued towards the door.  

Within the past 24 hours I’d lost way too much.  

And right now I needed a break from this shit.  

i really wanted to post something on my tumblr during my term break, but since it’s almost over and i haven’t gotten anything graphic ideas lately i decided to resort to posting another anidala fanfic rec since i did pretty much spend most of my term break reading - and even writing my own - fanfics. i noticed that i post fanfic recs whenever i’m on break, so i guess you can expect a new rec every time on break. anyways, these are fanfics that i’ve read after searching through the anidala pairing category and some fanfics that i’ve once again forgot to put in my other fanfic recs. this recommendation list is arranged in no particular order as always and when i have fanfiction to recommend again i’ll post them under the tag “fanficrec.” i hope you all enjoy these fanfics as much as i have! \(^▽^)/ 

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Book Reviews: Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard by Rick Riordan

A wonderful new action-packed adventure by Rick Riordan. I loved how the main character was someone who’d had it harder and was more mature than Percy Jackson. The same humor remained and there were even a few odes to the old books. Learning about other mythical gods in the same style as the other Riordan books was very entertaining and fun. I must admit, I think i like Norse gods better.

People take advantage of my kindness; they use and undermine me.”

“If you know, why do you stay?”

“Because what if they don’t have anyone to confide in? Because why would I allow the actions of others to reflect who I am as a person?”

“That’s not the problem. The problem is you don’t know when to walk away from what doesn’t appreciate you, and you think that leaving makes you a different person–it makes you a bad person. It doesn’t. It means that you know your self-worth.

—  Words I’ll probably never hear, #8
She held her hand out to the right, her eyes still fixed on the flickering candle. It had been burning for hours, and had hours yet to burn.
“The sage, please,” her voice was low, quiet - almost a whisper. It always seemed wrong to speak at a volume, or to be loud in her little room. It was always dimly lit, usually with candles on every available surface and smelled of herbs and spices. The air was often hazy with smoke, the tables strewn with papers and journals.
It was a warm space, pleasant but somehow otherworldly. It commanded respect, and so did the little witch who spent her time within it.
—  A novel I want to write, but probably never will.
Home

Summary: condolence = or condolement; expression of sympathy with a person who is suffering sorrow, misfortune, or grief.
Words: 1,467
Warnings: none, it’s all good
Notes: i posted Part 2 and it felt unfinished so i decided to add a bit more to it before i get to Chapter 2. I did write this while on vacation in Mexico so excuse any incoherence, it’s rough and unedited D: As always, thank you so so much for reading this dumb story :D 

Originally posted by shhhh-no-ones-home

CHAPTER ONE - Part Three 

previous: Part One, Part Two

She finds him in the very same spot she left him that morning, when she had to head out to the market. She had only told him to stay put; she was willing to bet that he took it literally. For him it isn’t difficult - sitting still and lifeless. It’s tactical, strategic; it’s a mechanical patience  carved into the crevices of his brain. He finds the quietness of the living room soothing.

He sits upright, his back tensed and ready to jump at a moment’s notice when her key turns the lock of the front door. Those eyes of his, still bloodshot and untamed, track her silhouette as she sways about the apartment. He notices every sliver of metal, any clanking in the kitchen, any crack in the floorboards, any human-made noise. Nothing goes unregistered and unprocessed; foreign territory is a potentially dangerous. Threats don’t like to feel threatened.

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