You Still Linger
A/N: An anon request for a fic based off Jealous by Labrinth. God DAMN this song is sad. This is short, but I think it works best as it is. @coveofmemories
I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There’s nothing to forgive
God…he’d never known how much he could love someone until you came along. But apparently, he’d never been meant to have the best of both worlds. His job was who he was. And that didn’t sit well with you. It was too hard for you to watch him leave, never knowing whether or not he would come back. After nearly 10 months together, you’d told him it was too painful. Tears were shed. Bile had risen in your throat as you choked out the words you didn’t want to say. But you knew it was the best thing for you. You apologized profusely. The amazing thing was, he’d understood, and told you he didn’t blame you and that he’d always love you.
How true that was.
When you walked out the door, he truly wished the world for you. In the back of his head however, he always hoped you’d come back eventually, realize that the fear that wracked you was worth the love you shared. That maybe things hadn’t worked out with anyone else, because you two were meant for each other. But now, he was sitting in the coffee shop near your apartment as the rain came down in sheets outside, a steady thunderous noise beating against the rood. And you passed by - soaked to the skin from the storm.
It was dark and gray outside, but looking at you, one probably couldn’t tell. Your smile was enough to lighten up the darkest of days. You were happy, walking arm in arm with a close friend after a day out. Without him. It was then that he realized he’d never been jealous in this way before.
As he sipped his coffee, he watched the rain bead against the smoothness of your skin, running down slowly like his hands used to when he’d been privileged enough to know you. The wind passed through your clothes and caused you to hug yourself tighter, chilled to the bone. Once, his arms had been the things to keep you warm, but now the wind was closer than he would ever be again. In seconds, you passed the storefront, leaving his line of sight, but you still lingered there at the forefront of his mind.
He wasn’t outside, but water was still streaming down his face. Who got to be there to see you smile at the end of the day? Who was making you happy now? All he knew was that it wasn’t him, and that ripped him apart inside.
At night, someone else would get to sleep beside you. Who was he? Was he treating you right? Like the treasure you were. Did he appreciate your kindness? Your generosity? You were more capable of love and had more of it to give than anyone he’d ever know, and for 10 brief months, he’d been on the receiving end. Someone else had that privilege now.
Conflicting feelings raged within his mind. He wanted you to be happy. You deserved to be. But watching you be happy - seeing it with his own two eyes - was harder for him than he’d ever imagined.
It’s hard for me to say, I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me