hear me out: a cutthroat kitchen-type contest for fanfic writers. contestants are given a different trope to write each round. sabotages include making an opponent write in first person, requiring them to write in a particular AU, making them incorporate the opening structure of my immortal. alton brown looks over your shoulder while you write the smut.
(your hands tremor with all you are afraid of grasping)
My darling, most beloved Sue. Look what I finally finished!!! I wrote you this thing because a) I wanted to, b) it was your birthday and you deserve nice things, and c) I found screenshots of a convo we had that I kept on my phone as a reminder to write The Thing and laughed and laughed and laughed, so.
When he finds her in the bar, it’s like all his failures come home to roost.
If he could go back, if he could do it all again, would he turn around the moment that chalkboard eraser hit his head and never look back? Would he tell the Sandaime “No, I will not. Give them to someone else, to anyone else”?
Maybe if he had, maybe if Kakashi had done something selfless for once in his fucking life, he could have spared her this.
Someone else, anyone else, could have taught them, guided them, ensured that Sakura never ended up here in this dive of a bar, so drunk she can’t sit up straight let alone muster the ability to stare at the pale band of flesh where her wedding ring used to sit.
I’m beginning to think only, like, 70% of the reason I love Shidge is because they’re my two favs and they would be so so sweet together it would rot your teeth. The other 30% is just spite. Pure “Fuck you, I do what I want” spite that rose from the ashes of people denouncing Shidge after the age reveal last year. Honestly I think that fits both Shiro and Pidge pretty well and I believe that it’s a beautiful shipper origin story.
TITLE OF STORY: The Night’s Not Over Yet CHAPTER NUMBER/TITLE/ONE SHOT: One Shot AUTHOR: darling-pet WHICH TOM/CHARACTER: Actor!Tom GENRE: Romance, Erotica FIC SUMMARY: After returning home from an awards show, you, the Reader, want to properly congratulate your man Tom for winning Best Leading Actor. RATING: M WARNINGS/TRIGGERS/AUTHORS NOTES: Language, Sexual content. Inspired by the new photoshoot that broke the fandom (06/20/16). FEEDBACK/COMMENTS: Feedback & comments welcome
He’s fumbling in his pocket for the key to the flat. You’re still laughing from that joke he told in the lift and he’s laughing at your laugh. It’s haywire. It’s also two o'clock in the morning. Tom and yourself have just returned home from the awards’ show after party. Needless to say, you two are a little tipsy.
But how could you not celebrate the night with the ever flowing champagne at your disposal? Tom had won Best Leading Actor! You were so incredibly proud of your man that you could barely contain yourself. He deserves it all.
The Engine Driver - The Decemberists // Love You Madly - Cake // Good Feeling - Violent Femmes // This Boy - Franz Ferdinand // Moon Over Goldsboro - The Mountain Goats // I Want the One I Can’t Have - The Smiths // All Will Be Well - The Gabe Dixon Band // Overjoyed - Bastille // Fallingforyou - The 1975 // Flawless - The Neigbourhood // This = Love - The Script
Through the Dark - One Direction // Digital Love - Daft Punk // Playground - Sia // Under a Paper Moon - All Time Low // Team - Lorde // Grade 8 - Ed Sheeran // I need Your Love - Calvin Harris feat. Ellie Goulding // Alone Together - Fall Out Boy // Nicotine - Panic! At the Disco // This = Love - The Script
guys. guuuuuys. this was so much fun. you don’t even know. also, probably about half these references are going to be lost on anyone who didn’t fall in love with the post-restoration and romantic periods of english literature and proceed to minor in english (much to their parents’ despairing amusement), but i don’t even care.
this is all your fault. you know who you are. you are your victorian aus did this to me. (okay, and the fact that i rematched p&p2005 this weekend. but still! the accusation stands.)
warning for the fairly thematic typical threat of sexual violence. it’s mild, and nothing come of it, but just in case.
He ignores the creak of the floorboards in the living room.
He ignores the faint glow of light that comes in under the bedroom door.
He ignores the generic sounds of movement. The opening and closing of cupboards. The quiet beep of the buttons on the oven. Fridge door, drawers, things being moved around. The quiet sounds of movement in the kitchen.
Magnus ignores all of it. There’s nothing unusual so far.
Well, it’s admittedly a little strange to hear someone messing about in the kitchen in the middle of the night. But there’s hardly anything nefarious about it. It’s no cause to worry.
Joshua’s voice is quiet, but so is Neku’s room, so there’s no way not to hear him. Neku’s eyes flutter, and he grunts, so close to sleep and not willing to give up trying.He rolls over, bangs getting in his eyes as he looks at Joshua. He is glowing softly, so pale it is almost unnoticeable.
“What’re you talking about?” Neku asks groggily. It’s 3:48 in the morning- too late or early for any conversation. Joshua is curled up beside him, his hair frizzy and tangled from tossing and turning. He was supposed to be on the floor, but at some point he had crawled into Neku’s bed, and Neku hadn’t stopped him.
“Are you scared of me.” Joshua repeats, but it doesn’t sound like a question this time. “Do you ever worry that I’ll take advantage of you?”
“What, like, use your powers against me or something?” Neku yawns. He props himself up on an elbow, blinking into the darkness. Josh is wearing his shirt again- the paint spattered CAT tee that his mother keeps nagging him to get rid of. It’s strange seeing Joshua wearing something so familiar, strange seeing him tucked in so comfortably in his bed. Things that belong to the god of the city are strewn throughout Neku’s room, tucked away in his shelves or on his desk… it’s strange, but there’s something sort of amazing about it too, something Neku hopes doesn’t change. He likes the way Joshua looks in his clothes, the way they hug his body, but are a little bit too long in the sleeves or legs. He likes the fact that Joshua has instant access to literally any article of clothing imaginable, and out of all of that, he chooses to borrow his beat-up old paint shirt.
Joshua chews on his lip, violet eyes watching him with a sad intensity. He shrugs awkwardly beneath the covers, nestling down deeper into the pillows. Any deeper and he’ll sink right through the mattress, Neku thinks.
“Not exactly, no… well, maybe.” Joshua sighs. He’s rubs his eyes. “There’s… a rather noticeable power difference between us. I feel like it needs to be addressed.”
“At four in the morning?” Neku raises an eyebrow, and Joshua’s cheeks darken a little.
“The timing doesn’t really matter… It was just eating at me.” He sighs, rolling onto his back. There’s a little bit of a sparkle on the sheets from his feathers, the faintest little wisps of down. Neku smiles, despite himself. “I just…” Joshua starts to talk, but then he stops. He starts a few more times, but each broken sentence comes to an awkward halt, and then he gives up. He rolls back onto his side, back to Neku.
“… Neku, I want you to be honest with me.” He says, finally, and Neku is tempted to remind him that he’s not the one with the track record of dishonesty in this relationship. It doesn’t feel like a very good time to be bringing tht up though.
“What’s wrong, Josh?” Neku prompts, hoping to drag it out of him. Joshua’s shoulders move up and down a bit. His breathing is quiet. A minute passes, and Neku thinks maybe he’s fallen asleep, until he sits up, back arched tiredly.
“Do you let me stay in your life because you want me here… or because you’re afraid of what I might do if you turn me away?” A voice that reminds Neku of a child speaks to the mural on the other side of the room, his unfinished masterpiece, a record of his life since Day One, Week One. Joshua always stares at it when he comes over. Neku is pretty sure he realized what it was long before the artist himself did.
“Joshua, I’ve literally punched you in the face for what you put me through. Would someone who was scared of divine repercussion do that?” Neku asks crossly, and Joshua snorts. When he looks back he’s glowing a little brighter, a small smile on his face.
“No, I suppose not…” He sits there a while longer, watching Neku fondly. Neku feels like he’s on display. He reaches for Josh’s arm, tugging lightly, trying to tell him to get back in bed. With a sigh, he lays back down, squirming closer to Neku. His head rests perfectly beneath Neku’s chin, soft hair and cool skin.
“… I’ve already told you a lot more about the UG than you should know.” Joshua murmurs into Neku’s shirt, his forehead pressed against his chest. “I know that the weight of all that knowledge is probably hard to bear… that it is unfair of me to put so much on you, and then expect you to keep on living your normal life…”
“Josh, it’s fine. Honest.” Neku pets his hair gently, running his fingers through to try and get rid of some of the knots. “We’re friends, kay? Friends vent to each other. Your problems may be more supernatural than mine, but that doesn’t mean they’re less real.” That was what being friends was about, Neku had come to understand. They couldn’t always fix your problems, but they could help carry the load for you.
Joshua nestles against him, arms linking hesitantly around his back. It’s strange, how easily Joshua can drape his arms around him in public, flirt and tease and make a show of anything, but the moment things start getting serious, touch is suddenly a foreign concept. His hands move so slowly, so carefully. It’s like he’s always handling something fragile, and if he touches it the wrong way, it will break apart.
“… things are going to get worse.” Joshua whispers. Neku feels the movement of his lips against his chest more than he actually hears the words. Josh shuffles slightly, angling his head to look at Neku. “I can’t tell you everything right now. I don’t know everything right now. But life in Shibuya… life, for me, is going to get a lot harder very soon. If you want out… now is the time to say so.” Josh stares at him with a hard gaze, his voice grave, and Neku feels a chill crawling down his spine- he knows Josh is serious.
How could someone so powerful look so helpless? How could someone he knew was capable of awful things have become someone he felt he had to protect? Neku holds Josh securely, pressing his forehead to his.
“Sorry Partner, but we’re in this together. You aren’t getting me off board that easily.”
This series is a work-in-progress, but I thought I’d collect the various instalments for ease of readers. (And, hey, does anyone have an idea for a series title? I’ve been sticking with smol!Kakashi for lack of a better idea.)
These are listed in chronological order instead of posting order. Or, well. As much as possible given some of them skip across years.
If you’ve left a prompt for this series, I do in fact have them all collected somewhere and will (eventually) get around to writing them. If you haven’t left a prompt but there’s something you’d like to see, drop me a line and I will do my best to write it (eventually).
If you're still doing the 5 sentence fics and you're able to get around to it: Buttonso + rain, please?
Hi! :) If I’d known it was your birthday, I would have prepared something longer. Better. You know. Giftier. Anyways, here’s Buttonso - Rain. :)
Jenson was used to rain, being from England and all, he wasn’t used to the way
the weather could turn on a dime in Spain. They rushed back to the house with
their bags of groceries, Fernando laughing at how bothered Jenson was at
getting drenched to the bone within seconds. They stood together in the hallway
dripping wet, Fernando’s hair plastered to his head, Jenson’s clothes clinging
to his body.
before dinner?” Jenson suggested, making a face as he took off his sodden
before dinner,” Fernando agreed, starting to peel off his shirt.
(i'm beyond 3 sentences so fuck that) "it was a good movie," regina defends, a blush creeping up her face. "it was," robin agrees, "but we both know the plot wasn't the only thing keeping you interested." regina huffs and looks away, and robin laughs at how easy it is to tease her on celebrity crushes. he continues, "so if you had to choose, steve or diana?" regina cheeks get redder, but she gives in, "both."
PUT THIS ON MY GRAVE PUT THIS ON MY GRAVE PUT THIS ON MY GRAVE
I'd really love to read that ino shika saku smut story you may or may not have listed as one of your tags in a kakasaku fic XD ?
hands to [insert action here]
My dear nonny, I am so very sorry this took so long! I laughed and laughed and laughed when I got this request, and I wanted to do it justice.
This fic takes place in an ambiguously non-canon universe, post Fourth War. Just a heads up that the kiddos are ~18-19. The prompt is in reference to the tags from with friends like these, which I wrote for kakasaku week 2016, but you absolutely in no way need to have read that for this to make sense (in fact, if you read that first, be prepared for tone whiplash).
Originally, I’d intended this to just be silly smut. That is not what this turned into in the least. Instead it’s about 5,000 words of id fic; rambling nonsense and character study and characters who love so much it breaks them.
The evening has spun down, leaving Ino’s apartment a mess of empty bottles and demolished food stuffs. Naruto walked Hinata back to the Hyūga compound hours ago, with Lee dragging a giggling Tenten away soon after with a reminder that the two of them have a mission in the morning. When the rest of them started to make noise about getting everyone else home for the night, they’d all looked up to find Shino had disappeared at some point, presumably before he could be wrangled into managing Kiba. Chōji had offered to help Akamaru make sure a very drunk Kiba doesn’t fall asleep in a doorway (again), since the Inuzuka’s apartment is on his way. Which means that Sakura and Shikamaru are stuck on clean-up duty.
It’s too bad Sai is out of the Village at the moment; he’s read so many books on proper etiquette that he always insists on helping whomever’s turn it is to host their regular get-togethers clean up, meaning that Sakura can usually duck out with a wave.
Hi Anon-Person! Simi - Rain, coming up. Hope you like it.
Sebastian groaned as he woke up to the pitter-patter of rain against the
window, “it’s raining… that means we can’t go down to the lake.” He’d been
looking forward to it, the Finnish forests and lakes had a magical feel to them
and if he had his way, they’d spend all their time outdoors.
don’t have to cut the grass,” Kimi mumbled, wrapping the thin covers more
closely around himself.
“You are so
lazy,” Seb said, poking Kimi a couple of times. Kimi unwrapped an arm, caught
hold of Seb, and pulled him in to his nest of covers.
Listen. Listen. Truth hour here: if it weren’t for some very excellent people in this fandom, I would’ve peaced a long time ago. There is so much good in this fandom which thankfully drowns out those little goblins that try to make it septic. I have some Very Special people to thank so lets get to it.
@butteredonions As you all know, I am the biggest fan of Miss Onions and everything she produces. She’s so quality it literally pains me sometimes. And not just in her writing! While she dazzles with emotions and plot twists and characterization so on point it’s scary, she is one of the most darling people you will ever talk to and my sounding board for all things fic related. She’s wonderfully kind and an absolute menace and I adore her. I dragged her into the Voltron fandom just under a year ago and haven’t looked back since. <3
@mumblefox My darling Miss Mumble is one of the most articulate and devastating writers you will ever meet. If you haven’t read any of her fics, go read them all. Now. Go. You will die and swoon and probably have a headache from the absolute whiplash of her words, but it’s so worth it. Not only will she destroy you with her stories, she also has a refreshing look on fandom and a wicked sense of humour. She will fight anything and snuggle you at the same time. <3
I can’t talk about Mumble and Miss Onions without bringing up the rest of the ThinkTank. @bosstoaster you write so much that I’m constantly in awe and you ignite my competitive drive like no one else. One day I will be able to beat you in word count. One…day…. Boss also always has my back, without fail, and it’s so comforting to know I can call someone so quality a friend. @velkynkarma, the final piece of our brilliant and hilarious ThinkTank, always has the most scintillating conversation starters and snickers while the rest of us freak out over fic updates. She’s quality all over, from her think pieces on Slav to her rendition of Shiro. One day we’ll have an avatar of all five of us and it will be amazing.
@hauntedorangemobile I’ve known you for years and it feels like a lifetime; your adoration of Shiro and your phones refusal to not CAPITALIZE it at all times makes me cackle. I still have that audio of you missing the massive reveal of Keith’s Galra heritage and your ‘Shut up Fake Dad’ makes me snicker every single time. Thank you for talking scary Voltron ideas with me and coming up with an entire concept re: a horror story that I am definitely looking forward to <3
@gitwrecked A new addition to my Wonderful People Group, Git is an absolutely stunning artist as well as a fantastic friend. I’ve been introduced to her cats and have thrown my own pictures back at her, we constantly yell at each other about Uliro and feelings, and I could spend hours watching her stream her artwork. Just. Stellar human bean all around.
@demenoir I’ve only really started talking to you recently but oh my land you are amazing and writing at you (sometimes alongside you) has been the highlight of my nights the last week and a bit. You’re incredibly talented, ridiculously kind, and keep stupid hours haha. One day I hope to meet up with you so we can discuss all the ways Shiro deserves to be pampered okay
@lightshesaid You are an absolute doll and talking to you always makes me grin. Also your fic? YOUR FIC. I am just. Dying thinking about how quality it all is ahhhHH. @lookforanewangle we bond over ridiculous things and you always have my back, even when I’m being a melancholy little shit. @sednamode your support and determination to make fandom a safe space has always been legendary and I’m so glad that we’ve connected over our mutual love of Hiro.
The entire Uliro discord, full of absolutely amazing people that make me kick my feet in glee and excitement every time I log into the discord chat. From an NSFW chat that never quits to yelling over misspelling names to snickering over alien customs when it comes to humanity, the Uliro discord has offered me hours of entertainment and such amazing company.