able-bodied people don’t seem to realise the nuances of disability, they look at it as such a black and white issue when it’s really not. like, i don’t need a wheelchair in the sense that i can’t physically use my legs and i don’t need a walking stick in the sense that i would fall over without one. but i do need a wheelchair in the sense that it could make the difference between my being bed-bound for a day and being bed-bound for a week and i do need a walking stick in the sense that using one today might enable me to do more tomorrow. disability and chronic illness aren’t black and white; using things out of necessity can mean a lot of different things for a lot of different people.

Things I've learned since becoming ill...

• It’s nobody’s fault. It is genetic. It just happened.

• Do not be too proud or stubborn to ask for help. You need it.

• Brush your teeth and wash your face (even just with a baby wipe) everyday if you’re able to do so. It makes you feel more human.

• Shower or bathe whenever you are able to. Good personal hygiene is good for your mental health.

• Some people will leave. You don’t need those people. Others will stay and they are wonderful human beings.

• You are not a burden. You are not useless. Do not be guilty. Please. Guilt will eat your insides.

• You have not lost who you are. You just now have to make adjustments to accommodate this new thing.

• Accept the fact that you have an illness. Being in denial will only make your mental and physical health worse.

• Clean pyjamas are a divine gift. As are clean bedding and blankets.

• Self care is entirely subjective. If you want to do yoga then do it, if you wanna sit and eat takeout in front of the TV in a squirtle onesie then that’s fine too. Whatever makes you feel good, or at least better.

• If you are tired then rest. Do not burn yourself out. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, if you need a nap then you have one.

• Talk. Write. Sing. Paint. Draw. Dance. Do something to express your feelings. Don’t keep them inside. You’ll explode.

• Don’t worry if you can’t adjust right away. It takes time. A lot of time.

• Do not feel ashamed or embarrassed. Unfortunately illness often has embarrassing symptoms or such. It isn’t your fault. People who allow you to feel embarrassed about such things are terrible people.

• Keep your sense of humour. Some days it’s the only thing that gets you through.

• There will be good days. Grab them with both hands and enjoy them. Savour them. Spend them doing things you love, things that you can’t do on bad days.

• Prepare yourself to the best of your ability. Like…always have a hospital weekend bag packed for emergencies, keep a bed day drawer or bag near to where you sleep, have food or snacks close by, always have a water bottle…

• Take your meds. Please. If you have a serious illness for the love of god don’t listen to the “big pharma” conspiracy theorists. You need your meds. They keep you alive. They enable you to function.

• Research your illness. Keep yourself informed. But don’t dwell on what might happen. Please don’t scare yourself.

• It’s okay not to feel positive all the time. It’s okay to feel down. It’s perfectly natural. But try to be as positive as you can. For your own sake.

• Your own health comes first. It’s not selfishness it’s survival.

• Be kind to yourself.

• The bad days can be horrific but the good ones are beautiful, and so worth holding on for.

• Don’t give up on love. Just don’t.

• You are a badass warrior.

Executive Dysfunction

The more I find myself having to explain executive dysfunction to people the more I realise it’s near impossible. There’s a thing. I wanna do that thing, I really do. But no matter how hard I try to tell my brain to do the thing, it won’t do the thing. I can’t tell you the amount of hours I’ve spent scrolling mindlessly through social media wanting more than anything to stop, but I can’t.

This concept is so ridiculously alien to abled/neurotypical people and makes awareness/acceptance for it so hard to achieve. If an abled/nt person wants to, say, have a shower, or get some food, they just up and do it, no second thought. But the amount of mental exhaustion that goes into getting myself to get up and do one of those things can honestly be disabling in itself.

It’s not laziness, or not caring. It’s a total mental block between wanting something and doing something about it. I really wish the concept of this was more widely acknowledged. We are not lazy.

🌹 Adult Self Care Rules 🌹

• NO self blaming.
▪ if you have negative voices telling you that you aren’t good enough, whether they are from yourself or from a past abuser, acknowledge them, write them down, and know that they are false.
• Learn from mistakes, forgive yourself for them.
• Tidy up one room/drawer/mess a day.
• Do one hour of “me time” a day.
▪ Journal, read, listen to music, do makeup, crafts, go thrift shopping, get a massage/do self massage.
• Do one yoga video a day. Save favorites to a playlist on youtube. Look up specific ones for specific body pains/mental troubles.
• Hatch one egg per week on Pokemon Go.
• Wash bed sheets one a week.
• Write in journal daily.
• Read one chapter of a book or more daily.
• Study a foreign language on Duolingo at least 15 minutes a day. (OR American sign language)
• Have an orgasm once a day. Use the energy to help complete daily tasks or other self care items.
• Vacuum Daily.
• Say “NO” and mean it. No apologies.
• Take a 30 minute nap.
• Take a multivitamin daily.
• Write one new story/Draw something new at least once a week.
• Watch a documentary. (Stay away from triggering subjects.)
• Collect change in a jar and save up to buy seeds/plants once a month.
• Do guided meditation.
• Reach out. Call someone. Write a letter.
• Create a music playlist for your mood or moments in your life.
• Go to instagram/Tumblr and leave sweet comments on girl’s pictures. Spread positivity.
• Use a lip scrub / Spray your face with rose water. (Look up diy videos on how to make each of these.)
• Lay in the sun. Use sunscreen liberally.
• Write down your creative ideas at night on a notepad by your bed and then do creative things in the morning when you are rested.
• Clean/disinfect phone screen and case once a week. It breeds bacteria and makes your face break out.
• Blast music and dance and sing with no embarrassment.
• Play video games if you have the energy.
• Ask for help. Write a list of things you need help with. Reach out.
• Set reminders on your phone for everything. Appointments, pills, water breaks, self care goals, etc.
• Create a mental space that resembles a container with a functioning lid to set your intrusive thoughts and memories in when they get too overwhelming. Visit them only when you are in a safe place or at your therapists.
• Acknowledge feelings and emotions as they come. Separate yourself from your emotions. Know that you’ve felt differently before and you will again. Write them down to help process.
• Be in the moment. Practice mindfulness.
• Focus only on the things YOU can control. You can only control yourself. Let go of the idea that you can control others/their actions.
• Do Maintenance on boundaries in every relationship you have. Every human relationship needs healthy boundaries.

You all deserve the best in the whole world 💕 Keep on fighting!

yo, its time to discuss being "able-passing"

so idk if anyone else in the disabled community have seen this term being thrown around, but ive seen the words “able-passing” multiple times in the last few months, both on tumblr, irl, and in articles.

and tbh, i see people who use the term try to explain it as “when you dont look disabled, it is assumed that you are abled and you dont face the same discrimination that a visibly disabled person would, it is like youre not even disabled”, ive had it explained in different ways, with different words but that same result.

because apparently having your disability erased cause you dont look disabled isnt real, or being told that its like youre “not even disabled” is apparently not ableism.

and my guy my dude, this is my opinion but its time to be real.

“youre abled-passing” is no different than “But you dont look sick”

Sometimes being chronically and mentally ill is like having a newborn baby that can’t tell you what’s wrong, you know you feel horrible and you can’t lie down and you can’t sit up but you don’t know why. You go down the list- are you hungry? thirsty? sleepy? too hot? depressed? just lazy? a terrible person? And then it dawns on you- you’re in horrible pain, all over. And it’s always been there in the background, it’s just worse right now than usual, for no apparent reason. And there’s nothing you can do about it.