I Have A Few Questions About Aquaman...
So if I want to commit an ocean crime, I should do it right after Aquaman finishes a meal?
And does Aquaman only patrol a section of the ocean? Like Superman is Metropolis and Batman is Gotham so is Aquaman only Atlantic Ocean?
Does Aquaman vacation at a beach? That doesn’t seem relaxing. Can’t like “turn off the ocean” like its a phone. He’s probably a skier
And how does Aquaman keep his hair so perfect in water. Mine is all in my face and eyes. Does he use a fiber or pomade or like squid shit?
And was Aquaman born underwater or was he like 30 seconds old & his dad tossed him in the ocean and his mom was all “What the fuck, honey!”
How hard did HS swim coach push Aquaman to join team? He was all “I just wanna hang w/ friends” & coach goes “your friends r fucking eels!”
And when Aquaman & friends tried pot how’d they keep the spliff lit under water? Probably did shrooms. “These fish are talking! Oh right..”
These thoughts consumed me while stuck on a train. See.