Here’s a little Daddy!Killian one shot that I had bouncing around my head the last few days.
It’s a lot less angsty than it seems I promise.
Also I’ve never had a baby so a lot of this stuff might be wrong! Sorry if it is!
Please reblog if you like it! I’m not too proud to beg.
Killian had always wondered how he would take to fatherhood. For a long time he’d accepted the fact that he may never be a father. After losing Milah he had abandoned hope that he would ever find someone with whom he would want to share something so intimate with, and after Balefire left in Neverland, he’d begun to fear one horrifying conclusion: that he had become his own father – ready to give the closest thing he had to a child to better his own situation. But when Emma told him she was pregnant he’d been thrilled. He’d finally found that kind of love again, after hundreds of years of searching and he could think of nothing more beautiful than her carrying his child, carrying proof of their love – of true love. But that didn’t mean he hadn’t lost countless nights’ sleep over it. When all the baby books had been read (and there were a lot of them) he often found himself lying awake in bed wondering if he would be like his father or if he could find it in himself to be like Liam – strong, dependable, supportive, loving, constant Liam. As he lay awake those nights he promised himself and silently vowed to Emma and his unborn child that he would be the later. He would be the father they both needed him to be – the one they deserved.
Surprisingly, Killian had taken to fatherhood quite easily. His daughter, so small and fragile he’d been afraid he’d break her the first time he held her, had stolen his heart in her first breaths. And she seemed pretty fond of him as well if he did say so himself – which he did, often and proudly. Since the second they brought her home Killian rarely left her side. He was up for every midnight and 3 A.M. feeding, despite Emma’s claims that it was her turn and he should sleep. He’d mastered the baby bjorn and the car seat to the point where he could do it one handed whilst balancing his girl in his hooked arm, and he’d even discovered that sea shanties were the cure for her restless nights.
“I told you, Swan. We have a little pirate on our hands,” he’d smirked as she’d rolled her eyes at his smugness.
What he hadn’t been prepared for, was how Emma had taken to fatherhood. He’d started noticing it the day they brought her home, when he’d taken his girl from his wife’s arms so that she could get out of the car – the look, her shoulders tense and her lips pressed in a tight line.
“Everything alright, love?” he’d asked, looking her over quickly to rule out anything physically wrong.
“Fine,” she reassured him before quickly taking the baby back and leading the way back into the house.
It had become something of a pattern. Whenever Emma walked into the room, finding him holding their daughter, rocking her to sleep or making faces at her at the breakfast table, she would react the same way, shoulders tensing, lips drawing thin and then an offer to take the baby from him. After the first week he’d started removing his hook whenever he was near his girl, thinking that Emma was worried he would accidentally hurt her and that was the cause for her ails. The next week he’d switched the hook out for his prosthetic hand on a near permanent basis. But still, Emma seemed uncomfortable, even troubled when she came upon the two of them. And still, she maintained that she was ‘fine.’
He’d brought it up to David once when the two met for coffee at Granny’s, baby in tow. It had been an awkward topic to bring up because while David loved his granddaughter Killian was pretty sure he still didn’t appreciate the evidence that Killian and Emma had had sex.
“When you and Snow had Neal,” he started, scratching the spot behind his ear, “Did she begin acting… differently?”
“What do you mean?” David asked, not looking up from the little pink bundle he was cooing at.
“Was she… protective?” he asked for lack of a better word.
David looked at him finally. “Oh, yeah.”
“Really?” Killian asked, relieved.
“We lost Emma so suddenly and so horribly when she was born. It took a while before Snow trusted Neal with anyone besides the two of us.”
“But she did trust you… with your child, I mean?”
David frowned at him. “Of course. What are you asking, Hook?”
Killian squirmed in his seat, taking his girl back and tucking her into the crook of his arm. He brushed the soft hairs that covered her head, still marvelling at the fact that he’d helped create something so perfect.
“Emma… I worry that Emma doesn’t trust me. With the baby I mean.”
“I’m sure that’s not true,” David frowned, folding his hands on the table. “You’re out with her now. She wouldn’t let you do that if she didn’t trust you.”
“I suppose you’re right,” he conceded.
But something still irked him. And he was reminded of it when Emma walked into the dinner a few minutes later to join them, that same expression appearing on her face before she took the baby from him. David shot him a look and Killian knew he’d seen it too.
As they were making their way out the door David stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, waiting until Emma was out of earshot.
“I’ll talk to Snow,” he said. “Maybe it’s a motherhood thing. For now, just try talking to her.”
“I’ve tried. She always says it’s nothing. But I’ll keep trying. Thanks, mate. I appreciate the help.” He clapped David on the shoulder and followed Emma to the car.
“I see what you mean,” Snow said when they were over for Sunday night dinner at the loft. “She certainly seems… on edge whenever you’re holding the baby.” The look of concern on her face had Killian more worried than he’d been in the four weeks since his daughter had been born. “Killian…” she started gently. “Have you ever heard about post-partum depression?”
Killian’s eyebrows shot up. He’d read about it in passing in some of the baby books he’d poured through when Emma was pregnant but he’d never considered the reality of it.
“It can lead to women being afraid to leave their babies in the care of anyone else. Including the father,” she explained, placing a soothing hand on his shoulder. “I have a book on it. If you’d like to borrow it.” Killian was at a loss for words, unable to speak over the lump in his throat and settling for a nod instead.
That night, after Emma had fallen asleep, Killian sat awake reading the book from cover to cover and deciding he would talk about it with Emma in the morning. He was just getting ready to go to bed when he heard his girl whimpering over the baby monitor.
“Hi, little love,” he whispered, picking her up from her crib and cradling her against his bare chest. Her little fist balled up in the hair there and he winced a little. “You’re getting strong,” he told her. “Just like your mum.” He kissed her head, rocking her and humming lightly as she slowly drifted back to sleep.
“Oh, come on!” His eyes shot up to the doorway where Emma stood in one of his t-shirts with her hair rumpled and an exasperated, annoyed look on her face.
“What?” he asked, genuinely confused. He couldn’t figure out what he had done to deserve such a reaction.
“Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?” she demanded in a tone he believed to be much harsher than necessary.
“I was going to bed. And skin to skin contact is good for bonding. I read it in a book.”
“You and your books. Just – give her here. You go to bed,” she said, arms out to take the baby. “And put on a damn shirt.”
“No,” he answered, pulling back slightly.
“No?” Shock and confusion flashed across her face.
“No. Look, Swan, I don’t know why it is you don’t trust me with our daughter but we have to talk about it.”
“What are you talking about? I trust you with her.”
He scoffed. “Clearly you don’t. You should see the way you react whenever I hold her – like you think I’m going to hurt her. Like I ever could. And then you take her away as quickly as you can.”
“I don’t –”
“You do. What I can’t figure out is why. Is it because of what I’ve told you about my past? Because you know, Emma, surely you must know I’m not that man anymore –”
“Killian,” she interrupted him, her expression softening as she leaned against the doorframe.
“I think we need to talk about post-partum depression,” he said, the words spilling out before he could stop them. “Your mother gave me a book on it and –”
“You spoke to my mother about this?”
“I was worried! Look at you! Even now I can tell how tense you are looking at me holding her.”
“Killian. I don’t –” the frustration was growing in her tone.
“It’s okay, Swan. It’s totally normal and we can face it together and –”
“For fuck’s sake, Killian!” His eyes snapped up to meet hers. “I’m not post-partum! I’m horny!”
Killian froze, eyes snapping up to meet her face which was quickly turning bright red. “Come again, love?”
“I’m horny, okay? All these stupid hormones have me all out of whack since the baby came and seeing you holding her and looking like that it… does something to me.”
Killian tilted his head, trying to wrap his mind around the new information. Gently, he set the now sleeping baby down in her crib and strode slowly towards his Swan. “It does something to you?”
“Yeah, okay. Don’t look at me like that! It’s not that weird okay!” Killian fought the grin that was tugging at his lips. “Just… seeing you, holding a baby, our baby, and being so good at being a dad and I mean, Jesus, would it kill you to put some clothes on every once in a while? It makes me want to jump your bones every damn time I see you with her whether that’s in our kitchen or in the middle of Granny’s. And would you stop looking at me like that! It’s not funny”
Killian couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face at that, or the chuckle that left him. “Why didn’t you just tell me?” He was standing directly in front of her now, bodies nearly touching and he could feel her breath on his chest, warm and quicker than it had been a minute ago.
“Because we can’t do anything about it!”
He frowned. “Why not?”
She rolled her eyes and heaved an exasperated sigh. “Because the doctor said we have to wait until six weeks after I gave birth to have sex and it’s been a month and it’s freaking killing me!” she groaned in frustration.
“Oh, Swan,” Killian teased, reaching out to brush his fingers along the length of her arm, grinning when she practically jumped at the contact. “You didn’t read any of those baby books I gave you, did you?”
She frowned. “I read some of them,” she said, her voice shaky as his hand continued its exploration along her side and down to the hem of her stolen shirt.
Killian hummed, fingers teasing the skin of her thigh. “Well if you’d read all the books then you would have read that it’s strictly penetration that’s off the table until you’re cleared by your doctor.” His hand slipped under the shirt, making its way up to her hip and across her belly. “Everything else is fair game whenever you decide you’re ready.” Her breathing was coming out in shaky pants, her knees shaking under his touch. “I’ve been waiting for you to let me know,” he said as his hand trailed lower. “I’ve been going mad not being able to touch you.” His fingers dipped into where she was already wet and wanting and she gasped. “So tell me, love,” he drew her bottom lip lightly between his teeth and pulled before letting it drop. “Are you ready?” he asked with a teasing smirk, so close she could feel his lips brushing against hers as he spoke.
“Fuck, yeah,” she said, grabbing the back of his head and lunging forward. Killian groaned, pushing her back against the hallway wall. He kissed her long and hard, mouth slanting against hers, letting his tongue delve deep as he ground against her. His hand came up to cup her breast, thumb flicking her nipple through the shirt and she threw her head back, biting back a moan only so as not to wake the baby. Killian took it as an invitation, letting his lips and tongue and teeth trail along the side of her neck to the spot behind her ear that had her hand fisting in his hair hard enough to hurt.
“Please,” she begged and that was all he needed to hear before dropping to his knees right there in the hallway. He took a moment to take her in. He always loved seeing her like this, lost in the throes of passion, blind to the world around her. She ground her hips towards his face and he smiled, pressing a kiss low on her belly before drawing one of her thighs up over his shoulder and dipping his head.
The fist of touch of his tongue against her heat had her slamming a hand against the wall above her head while the other grabbed hold of his hair, holding him in place. He smirked again and focused on the task at hand, licking and sucking and kissing, keeping his touch light for fear of hurting her but from the muffled sounds she was making he wasn’t too concerned. It didn’t take long, not after four weeks of pent up sexual frustration and as he closed his lips around her clit and pulled she convulsed over him. He helped ease her down her body sweaty and shaking before finally going boneless.
She urged him up to his feet, pulling him in for a kiss that washed away all the fear and doubt he’d been harbouring over the last month.
“I’m so glad you read,” she said and he buried his head in her neck to stifle the booming laugh that escaped him. “Shh! You’ll wake her!” Emma hushed, holding him tight to her body.
Killian grinned salaciously against her skin. “I don’t know, Swan. If I’m being honest I feel like that could work to my benefit.”
She smacked him on the shoulder for his cheek and he nipped the crook of her neck in retaliation. They stood there in comfortable, happy silence until Killian’s head snapped up, realization dawning on him.
“Bloody hell, how are we going to explain this to your parents?”